


Broken Lullaby

by queermageddon



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Angst, Baby Skye, Daddy Phil, FitzSimmons - Freeform, Kid Skye | Daisy Johnson, Mentions of Suicide, Philinda - Freeform, Philinda are Skye's Parents, Skyeward - Freeform, Smut, Team Bus - Freeform, but also happiness, flashbacks of abuse, flashbacks of suicide, mama may, mentions of abuse, papa phil, skyeward will be romantic in this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-30
Updated: 2016-11-06
Packaged: 2018-03-26 13:02:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 107,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3851923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queermageddon/pseuds/queermageddon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>currently being rewritten</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Unwanted Goodbye

_“A wife who loses a husband is called a widow. A husband who loses a wife is called a widower. A child who loses his parents is called an orphan. There is no word for a parent who loses a child. That’s how awful the loss is.”_

  _―_ _Jay Neugeboren_ _,_   _An Orphan's Tale_

* * *

 

 _Melinda remembered everything. She remembered it every day. She remembered it every night. When she was awake and when she was asleep, she remembered. The images never stopped._ _She remembered the angry expression on the little girls face and the dead look in her eyes. Melinda remembered. **Take my hand.**_

 

_Melinda could never forget. She could never forget the pain she felt when she pulled the trigger and ended the life a child. She could never forget how the small body felt in her arms, as her warm blood spilled out of her chest and onto Melinda’s lap. Melinda could never forget. **Give me your pain.**_

 

_Melinda saw it every day. She saw the images play out in her head constantly. She saw it all, but mostly she saw the little girl. She was so young. She had barely begun her life when Melinda ended it. She saw it when her eyes were open. She saw it when her eyes were closed. Awake or asleep it didn’t matter. She saw the little girl everywhere. She saw her in the faces of her co-workers. She saw her in the eyes of children. She saw her in the mirror. Melinda saw it every day. **I like the pain.**_

 

_She said she would never go into the field again. She showed up at administration once her transfer request was approved and she never looked back. For six months she sorted and filed papers in a dimly lit and quiet office. No one talked to her and she didn’t talk to them. Every day was the same and that was just fine for her._

 

_She knew when Phil walked up to her cubicle what he was going to ask her. She told herself she would say no. She told herself not to be convinced by him and that it wouldn’t end well. She told herself to hold her ground. She should have listened to her own advice._

 

_“I know you said you wouldn’t go back into the field. I understand why and I can’t blame you. After what you went through…” he trailed off._

 

_“If you understand, then why are you here?” her face remained impassive as she asked the obvious question._

 

_“You're the only one I fully trust to have my back.” He said it like it was the simplest thing in the world. She tried to ignore the gnawing in her stomach._

 

_“I can’t go back into the field, Phil. Not after-” Melinda swallowed hard and averted her eyes. “I can’t handle another combat mission.” **Please go away** , she thought desperately._

 

_“I know. That’s why it’s not a combat mission.”_

 

_“Then you don’t need me.” **I’m begging you, please go.**_

 

_“But I do,” he smiled brightly at her. Her heart rate increased. “It’s an undercover mission, intel gathering only. We’d be posing as a married couple.”_

 

_“Phil…” she whispered with a shake of her head._

 

_“I won’t push you,” he continued. “All I ask is that you think about it. You’re the only agent I trust 100 percent. I know you’ll have my back, just like I’ll have yours. If you agree that is.”_

 

_Phil turned to leave. It would be a matter of seconds before Melinda was alone again. She knew she should let him go and that asking him more about the mission was a bad idea, but still she asked._

_“How long?”_

 

_“How long will the mission be?” he clarified. Her eyes shot up to him before they returned to the papers in front of her._

 

_“Yes?” She responded._

 

_“A couple of months at most, according to Fury,” he replied. This was a bad idea. She knew she would regret it._

 

_“Okay,” she agreed after a moment of silence._

 

_“Okay?” he echoed._

 

_“I’ll do it.”_

 

_She should have listened to her own advice. She knew it was a bad idea. She knew she would live to regret it, combat or no combat. The mission went from a couple of months to almost two years. They were two of the best and worst years of her life. She could never fully regret the mission, but sometimes, late at night when she was alone, she wished she would have told Phil no._

 

_What happened in Bahrain caused her to lose a part of herself, a part that she knew she would never get back, but what happened in Providence, Rhode Island ruined her. Whatever warmth she clung to after Bahrain was forever lost after Providence._

 

…

 

Fury got to her first. It was a smart play. If he hadn’t, she would have said no without hesitation. It was just another day in administrations when Nick Fury walked up to her cubical. She had to admit she was slightly surprised to see him. Now-a-days he seemed almost unreachable, but there he was, standing in front of her asking her for help.

 

“I need a favor,” he began. She sighed and glared at him.

 

“Whatever it is-” she began to argue.

 

“Please, hear me out.” He interrupted. Nick Fury was not the type of person to say please, so when she heard those words come out of his mouth, she froze. Slowly, she nodded.

 

“Can we take a walk? What I need to say can’t be heard by anyone.” She should have lied. Made up an excuse to get out of there or faked an emergency phone call from her mother or something, but instead she stood up and followed him.

 

They ended up on a bench at a plaza nearby. It wasn’t lunchtime yet so the place was nearly vacant. They sat in silence for a moment, as Fury gathered his thoughts and Melinda eyed the Director of SHIELD suspiciously.

 

“You heard about Coulson’s death with the Avengers,” It wasn’t a question, but still she nodded. “There was more to it than that. What I am about to tell you has to remain classified. Coulson himself doesn’t even know.”

 

Melinda had heard all about his death. It was one of the many things gossiped about after the battle of New York. She was sorting level three papers when she heard the news.  She immediately requested to go home. Her face remained impassive as she made her way towards her house but on the inside she was screaming. Once she was in the safety of her home, she collapsed and for the first time in years, she cried. She cried and cried and cried until finally, she passed out from exhaustion. The next day she returned to work as cold and as indifferent as ever. Two weeks later, she received word that Coulson had survived and was taking some R&R. To say that a weight had been lifted off of her shoulders would have been an understatement.

 

Melinda hadn’t talked to Coulson since they parted ways after the mission in Providence. He tried to contact her a few times shortly after the mission, but she never reached back. Eventually, he stopped. Talking to him was too painful. It brought back too many memories. Memories she didn’t want to think about. Cutting him out of her life hurt, but having him in her life as a constant reminder of what she lost, of what _they_ lost, hurt much worse. But that didn’t mean she wanted him dead. The world was a much better place with Phil Coulson in it.

 

“I’ve heard a lot of different stories about his death,” she replied. “I’ve even heard it was faked as motivation for the Avengers.”

 

“That is what I wanted people to believe. That he was dead for merely a few seconds before we brought him back and I kept it hidden to motivate the avengers to work together to save the world.”

 

“So if that wasn’t what happened, then what is the truth?”

 

“Coulson was dead,” Fury stated. “But it was more than a few seconds. He was dead for… days.” Melinda nearly scoffed at the statement. That was impossible.

 

“Days? That isn’t possible. What game are you playing at?” she narrowed her eyes at the man.

 

“I’m not. It’s the truth. I moved Heaven and Earth to save that man. What I had to do…he can never learn about it. It would mess with him and the repercussion of him finding out would be severe.”

 

“What did you do?” she wished she’d never asked. As she listened to Fury describe T.A.H.I.T.I. and what all he did to save Coulson, she felt sick to her stomach. No one should ever have to go through that. A part of her wanted to argue that he should be told, but a much bigger part knew that Fury was right. It would destroy Phil if he found out.

 

“He’s going to ask you to join his team, to drive the bus. I was hoping you would say yes.” Melinda balled her hands up into fist at the idea of joining his team. She didn’t know if she was strong enough to do it, if she was strong enough to say yes. “I know after Providence going on another mission is the last thing in the world you want to do, but he needs you. And I can’t be there to keep an eye on him and to make sure there are no delayed effects of the treatment. Please, Melinda.” There was that word again. Please…

 

“What do you need me to do?” she sighed.

 

It was a week later when Phil appeared at her cubicle with his pitch. Instinctively, her first response was ‘no’. She was short and cold with her reply but he didn’t waver.

 

“It’s not a combat op,” he said. _I’ve heard that before._

 

“Then you don’t need me.” _I’ve said that before._

 

“I do.” She knew he did. More than he even knew. He was always there for her. After Bahrain he was the only person she could find comfort in. He tried to reach out after Providence even though he was hurting as much as she was.

 

“You’re really just asking me to drive the bus?” she asked.

 

“I’m not asking,” he stated. His tone was gently and his smile was bright. “But it’s a really nice bus.”

 

…

_Melinda blamed the bourbon and the emotional melt down she had for her lack of judgement. She wished she could go back to that night and slap some sense into herself. Maybe then she wouldn’t be in the predicament she was in now._

 

_This was never the plan when she agreed on this mission. This wasn’t even in the same ballpark as the original plan. They were only supposed to pose as a married couple, gather intel for a couple of months, and then return to their lives. That was it. She didn’t even consider that the mission would take longer than planned. When she looked back, she acknowledged that that was a naïve thing to do. Missions never went according to plan._

 

_A few months turned into half a year and they still hadn’t even made a dent with the intel. It was aggravating but they couldn’t pull out now. It would look suspicious. As aggravating as it was, Melinda couldn’t deny that she had grown accustom to living with Phil and pretending to be married. Sometimes it even felt like they weren’t pretending. He was her closest and oldest friend, but at some point, he became more than a friend._

 

_She wasn’t sure when she fell for him; she just knew that she did. She loved him. She loved everything about him. She loved his smile and his laugh. She loved his stupid obsession with collecting old junk and Captain America memorabilia. She loved how gentle he was with her and how he never seemed intimidated by her._

 

_The day she realized she loved him was the one-year anniversary of Bahrain. It was also the day her judgement disappeared. She woke up in the midst of a panic attack. Phil was there, holding her, rocking her gently, shushing her. He whispered that everything would be alright and that he was there._

 

_He spent the day trying to distract her from the memories that haunted her. Every time her mind started to slip to Bahrain, he pulled it away. They spent the day sightseeing the city that had become their home. As the hours passed and the day inched closer to being over, she began to breathe easier._

 

_As the sun began to set and the air began to chill, they headed home where Phil broke out a bottle of bourbon. She knew drinking in the emotional state she was in was a bad idea, but once again, she ignored her own warning._

 

_The night became fuzzy after her fourth drink, but it didn’t take a genius to figure out what happened when she woke up the next morning sore and naked. She looked at Phil’s sleeping form next to her and silently cursed. This was not how she imagined their first time. She should have stayed. They should have talked about it, but instead she slipped out of bed, grabbed her clothes, and slipped out of his room and into the bathroom. After she showered and changed she went into the kitchen and made coffee. When Phil joined her, neither one of them said anything._

 

_They avoided it for over a month. After that night they continued their normal routine as a married couple. They continued to go to “work” during the day and gather intel at night. After a while, things seemed to settle and their night of passion became a distant memory._

_She sometimes found herself yearning for his touch, but shut down those thoughts as quickly as they surfaced. They were on a mission. They couldn’t start anything. She told herself their night together was a one-time thing and would never be brought up again. She turned out to be very wrong._

 

_She could no longer avoid what happened that night. They were going to have to talk about it, much to her dismay. She placed her hands on the cool marble countertop, closed her eyes, and let out a deep breath. She rotated her shoulders, trying to relieve some of the tension. When she heard the front door open and close she let out a soft groan. Phil was home from work and her time was up. She opened her eyes and was once again greeted by the sight of the positive pregnancy test._

_“Melinda?” she heard Phil call. She squeezed her eyes shut once more before she grabbed the test. As she made her way towards the kitchen, her heart rate began to increase and her stomach churned. He was in the kitchen unloading white take-out boxes from a brown paper bag._

_“I wanted to cook a dinner for us tonight, but things ran late at work. Hopefully, I can cook tomorrow. The chicken I bought will be bad soon. How was your-” he broke off as he turned around and took in her appearance. Her face was pale and she was shaking slightly._

_“Melinda? What’s wrong?” he asked as he stepped closer to her. He placed his hands on her arm and squeezed softly._

 

_She tried to open her mouth to tell him, but she could barely move. She felt like a statue. He was looking at her, concern so deep in his eyes. She was reminded of all the reasons why she loved him and before she could stop it, she thought that maybe this situation wasn’t the worst in the world._

_She lifted the hand gripping the test from behind her back. Phil’s eyes moved down to where her hand had stopped in between them. His right hand left her arm to grasp the hand holding the test._

_“Melinda?” he said gently. “What is this?” she could see in his eyes that knew, or at least suspected._

 

_His eyes remained on her hand as she slowly opened it, revealing the tiny stick that would forever change both of their lives. He let out a soft gasp. She could see the tears in his eyes as he looked from the test to her. Melinda felt a flutter in her stomach at the sight._

 

_He didn’t say anything. He just smiled and pulled her into his arms. She hesitated for a moment before she slowly brought her arms around his middle. She buried her face in the crook of his neck as she returned his hug with vigor. As she remained wrapped securely in his arms she began to relax. For the first time since the two pink lines appeared, she didn’t feel panic. She felt relief which quickly turned to excitement. They were having a baby._

 

…

 

Victoria Hand called it a simultaneous quadruple hack. She tried to hide it, but she sounded impressed when she said it.

 

“It’s an impossible feat,” she explained. “I’ve never seen anything like this.  He's cracking the firewalls of four separate billionaires _at the same time_ all while going under the radar _._ The best we can figure he's somewhere in Detroit, but there isn't a single major power surge anywhere.  Whoever it is, they're incredible.  This is next level talent.”

 

"How do you know it's one person?" May asked. She glanced at Victoria momentarily before turning her attention back to the screens in front of her.

 

"We back-traced the connection from each firewall to a single IP somewhere in Russia, but the hacker proxied that connection off of IP addresses from all over the world.  There are hundreds, if not thousands, of them."

 

She continued to study the large screens in front of her. They were in the main situation room of The Hub. She honestly wasn’t sure what she was even seeing. So much was happening on the screen at once.

 

“Can you stop it?” Coulson asked. She glanced at him briefly. He was studying the screens as well.

 

“We’ve been trying to for hours, hell we can't even slow them down. Whoever is doing this is far better than any computer scientist we have.  Everything we do is either rerouted or disabled remotely.  We're in danger of having our own systems cracked at this rate.  He knows we're here, yet he hasn't hacked us yet and honestly, if he does, we might not be able to fight him off.  This level of brute force tech is...amazing.”

 

“Well, we need to figure out who is doing this and fast. Who knows how many secrets they’ve already uncovered,” Nick Fury snapped in aggravation.

 

“What could they possible want on Killian, Vincent, Castillo, and Marks? These guys are dangerous and anyone who goes after them ends up missing or dead.” Maria Hill commented as she studied the data on the computer screen in front of her.

 

“We have sleeper agents with all four of these men. If whoever is hacking them decides to hack us and makes that connection, they could expose our people. That makes them very dangerous and they must be stopped. Killian, Vincent, Castillo, and Marks are all in Detroit, and our hacker is most likely there as well, otherwise why go through the trouble. We need to find him and stop him.” Fury commented.

 

“How exactly? Our best computer scientist can’t slow the hack or track whoever is responsible. Plus, what if our theory is wrong and this guy isn’t even in Detroit?” Victoria questioned.

 

“Coulson and his team will fly to Detroit and bring in the four men. Whoever is performing this hack obviously wants something from them so if we can’t find this person, we can at least find their targets and keep them away from the hacker. Is your team ready to go Coulson?”

 

“Yes sir,” Coulson nodded. “They’re all on their way to the bus as we speak and should be ready to fly soon.”

 

“Good. I will contact the DTW-ATC Director and find you a place to land the bus. Keep me updated, Coulson.”

 

“Yes sir.” Coulson nodded farewell to the other agents before leaving the room. May shared a knowing look with Fury. She nodded stiffly and followed Coulson out the room.

…

 

May was the first of the team to arrive at the bus. She unloaded her belonging in her bunk before heading to re-familiarize herself with the cockpit. She wasn’t going to bother meeting the other agents on the team. She had already read their files. Agent Grant Ward was the specialist. He wasn’t much of a team player, but he was a good agent. He was strong and smart. If he went toe to toe with Romanoff, he would definitely be able to hold his own.

 

Agent Jemma Simmons was a biochemist and Agent Leo Fitz was an engineer. They were both top of their class at the SHIELD Science Academy. They were some of the youngest agents to even go through the Academy.

 

She knew everything she needed to know about the agents. She wasn’t looking to get personal. She was, as Coulson said, just here to drive the bus. That was it.

 

She remained in the cockpit as the rest of the team arrived. Solitude was something she had grown accustom to in the past several years. It was hard at first, but she soon found it enjoyable. Her eyes ran over the different switches and buttons. She hadn’t flown the bus since Bahrain. The last time she was on it she was a completely different person.

 

She was the kind of person that laughed and pulled pranks. A person who hated deafening silence so much so that she always found a way to have some sort of music playing when she flew. That person was lost after Bahrain. There was a time during her mission in Providence that she felt that person again. At one point, she thought that she could get that part of herself back, if not fully then at least mostly. During Providence she laughed in ways she never thought she could again after Bahrain.

 

She wouldn’t say she was 100 percent healed from the trauma of Bahrain, but she would say she was almost there. She was so close to being whole again. Before she knew it though, it was ripped away from her. After Bahrain, she tried. It wasn’t a good effort, but it was an effort none the less. She tried to move forward and to live her life. After Providence, there was no effort. She shut down completely. After Providence, she gave up on trying to retain the person she once was. That person was dead and trying to bring them back would be nothing more than insanity. So she said goodbye to herself and walked away. She hadn’t thought about it since.

 

Coulson knocked on the cockpit door. He popped his head inside. She didn’t bother to turn around or acknowledge him.

 

“Everyone is set to go. You have the coordinates?” she nodded. “Do you need anything?” he was trying to reach out to her. She wished he’d stop. Providence was 17 years ago, but the pain was still fresh. She ignored his question and instead began flip some of the switches.

 

“Okay…” he said dejectedly. “I’ll be in my office if you need anything.” She didn’t reply. Remaining silent was just easier. She didn’t want to risk showing weakness and she knew if she opened her mouth to reply right then and there, her voice would undoubtedly crack.

 

She built up her walls. They kept her safe, safe from the pain and the heartbreak. She built them up so high that no one, not even the man she loved, would be able to break them down. She couldn’t afford to let anyone in. The walls were all she had left.

 

…

 

_Melinda shifted on the cold exam table nervously. She knew it was silly to still be nervous. She was halfway through her pregnancy and had been to the doctor’s more times in the last five months than she had in her entire life, and yet she still fidgeted anxiously._

 

_Every appointment was the same. She would fidget, Phil would comfort her, it would help a little but her anxiety would never fully go away until she saw her baby… **their** baby. They were finding out the gender today. Melinda tried to resist. She said she wanted to be surprised, but she was too impatient to wait another four months. Phil was happy with whatever she wanted. He was just so excited to be having a baby._

 

_After she told him the news, he went out and bought every baby book he could find. Melinda fell even more in love with him than she thought possible when he returned with bags filled with baby books of all kinds. He read every single one of them, too. Melinda was only about halfway through the pile he bought, but he had already read and was in the process of re-reading the books. God she loved him._

 

_The only book that Phil didn’t get was a book of baby names but Melinda figured that once they left this appointment their first stop would be a book store. There was a soft knock on the door before their OB/GYN entered._

 

_“Good morning Mr. and Mrs. Johnson,” Dr. Maxwell greeted enthusiastically._

 

_“Morning,” Phil smiled. She just nodded politely. She didn’t want to start a conversation filled with small talk; she just wanted to see her baby. She and Phil were at a crossroads about the gender. In the beginning, she felt like it was a boy. Phil always believed it was a girl. He was so excited about the prospect of having a daddy’s girl. The baby wasn’t even here yet and he was already talking about father-daughter dances. She would always roll her eyes at his enthusiasm, but secretly she adored him all the more for it. She would never admit that to him though. She stuck to her guns about having a boy, mainly because she was stubborn and wouldn’t admit defeat, but secretly she was hoping for a girl just so she can see the light in Phil’s eyes._

 

_“Are we ready to see our baby?” she asked as she began setting everything up._

 

_“Very much so,” Phil replied. Melinda leaned back. She knew the drill. She lifted her shirt. Her eyes remained on the ultrasound screen. She didn’t even flinch when she OB/GYN squirted the gel on her stomach. Her heart sped up the moment their child appeared on the screen._

 

_“There’s your baby,” Dr. Maxwell said. “Did you want to know the sex?”_

 

_“Yes,” Melinda said quickly. She shot Phil a glare when she heard him chuckle softly before she returned her eyes to the screen._

 

_“Alright, one moment,” she said adjusting the ultrasound. “There we are. Congratulations mommy and daddy. You’re having a girl.” Melinda didn’t even realize she was crying until she felt Phil’s calloused fingertips softly wiped the tears away. She looked at Phil through her tears._

 

_“We’re having a girl,” she whispered._

 

_“A girl,” he nodded. “Would it be too early to order a dress for the father-daughter dance?” Melinda laughed wholeheartedly._

 

_“A little bit,” she smiled tenderly at him. He returned her smile._

 

_“I love you,” he whispered. She froze at his confession. Phil didn’t seem to notice, he just leaned forward and kissed the corner of her mouth. “Can we have some pictures?” he asked the doctor._

 

_“Of course you can. I will print them out and then we will set up the next appointment.”_

 

_Melinda remained silent until they were back in the car and halfway home. If Phil noticed her change in demeanor, he didn’t comment on it. She stared out the window, her hands resting on the swell of her stomach. She felt the baby move. It was active today. **She** , Melinda corrected. She was active today…her little girl. Her heart swelled at the thought._

 

_“Did you mean it?” she asked quietly, breaking the silence._

 

_“Did I mean what?”_

 

_“That you love me,” she clarified. It so quietly she wasn’t sure he’d even hear her. He did. He glanced at her before turning his attention back toward the road._

 

_“Yes,” he replied. “I have for a while, if I'm being honest. I don’t know when exactly I fell for you, but I realized it when you showed me the pregnancy test. You told me we were having a baby and suddenly that was all I could think about, you and our baby. I couldn’t imagine doing this with anyone else. That’s when I realized it.”_

 

_She contemplated his words for a moment trying to decide how to respond. In the end, there was only one thing she could say._

_“I love you too.”_

 

_She watched as a smile as bright as the sun appeared on his face. One hand left the steering wheel and grasped hers. She squeezed his hand tightly before she placed his hand on her stomach._

_“The baby’s moving.”_ _His hand remained there for a second before he flexed it._

_“I can feel her,” he breathed._

 

_“She’s kicking a lot where your hand is. I think she likes your touch.” She placed her hand on top of his. Their hands remained intertwined on their baby girl the rest of the ride home._

 

_Phil took the keys out of the ignition as soon as they were in the garage but didn’t get out of the car._

_“Phil? Are you alright?”_

 

_He turned to look at her. She could practically see the wheels turning in his head. She should have seen it coming. Today had been perfect. There could have only been one thing to make it even more so and Phil knew that._

_“Let’s get married.”_

 

…

 

Coulson and Ward took the SHIELD SUV and rode out to find the four targets. May stayed on the bus to babysit FitzSimmons while they tried to find any bread crumbs left by the hacker. Once she was sure they didn’t need anything, May went upstairs. She changed her clothes and began her Tai Chi workout.

 

30 minutes later Ward and Coulson arrived back at the bus. She was expecting them to have four rich assholes following behind them. She definitely was not expecting a girl with a bag over her head and a beaten up van.

 

“What’s going on?” Simmons asked. Ward brushed past them without a word. He headed up the stairs with the girl. May took note of his busted lip, bloody nose, the scratches above his eye brow, and his angered expression. Apparently, she put up a fight. A good one.

 

“That’s the hacker,” Coulson explained. FitzSimmons looked slightly stunned. “She was blackmailing Vincent when we arrived at his hotel room. She put up a hell of a fight.” FitzSimmons, see if you can break the encryption on her equipment.”

 

“Yes sir,” they replied in unison before heading toward the van. How was that thing even still working?

 

“May, I’d like for you to be in the interrogation.” She looked at him. The man she once loved. The man she still loved. Looking at him reminded her of what she lost. She wondered briefly if he felt the same way, if he saw the shambles of their life together when he looked at her. If he did, he didn’t show it. If he did, he still reached out to her. Guilt twisted in her gut. Her face remained passive. No weakness. She couldn’t survive anymore heartbreak. Could she be on this team and keep her walls up? She wasn’t sure, but she had to try. For Phil she had to try.

 

“Okay,” she replied. He looked startled as if he wasn’t expecting verbal confirmation. To be fair, this was the first time she’s actually said something since they got on the bus.

 

When they arrived at the interrogation room, Ward was standing in the corner glaring at the now unmasked hacker. She was returning his glare just as fiercely. She didn’t break the glaring contest even as Phil slid into the chair across from her.

 

May studied the girl. She was so young, no more than 17. She was in slight disbelief that _this_ was the hacker causing all of the trouble. She was just a child. Apparently, a very gifted child. Victoria Hand was going to love this.

 

Coulson flipped open the file that was on the table. May leaned against the door and crossed her arms over her chest. Her eyes remained on the girl. The girls face was hardened, much similar to May’s own face. She wondered what could have happened to this girl to make her so cold.

 

“You’ve made a lot of noise,” Coulson began. The girl scoffed. She leaned back in the chair and crossed her arms over her chest. She looked Coulson up and down, studying him.

  
“What’s your name?” His voice was gentle, soothing even.

 

She laughed bitterly and rolled her eyes.

 

“Give me one good reason why in the hell I would reveal my name to you?” she snapped.

 

“Because we'll throw you in a cell with no windows if you don’t,” Ward hissed. He moved forward a little. His hands balled into fists at his side.

 

“Agent Ward,” Coulson warned. “Please remain silent. If you can’t, I will ask you to leave the room.” The girl smirked. Ward narrowed his eyes at her but remained silent. Coulson turned his attention back to the girl.

 

“I’ve been with SHIELD for a long time. I come in contact with people from all over the world. Some are allies, some are enemies. The main thing they both have in common is you can never tell which is which in this business, is a very dangerous thing. Turn your back on the wrong one and you’ll have a knife in you before you can take one step. So I had to become very good at reading people.” Coulson spoke calmly and evenly. May had always admired how Coulson handled situations like this.

 

“Is there a point to this?” she asked harshly. Coulson just smiled. His posture was relaxed; his face remained composed and unfazed by the girl’s harsh tone.

 

“Yes, there is.” He leaned forward and grasped the girl’s hand. She tried to pull away, but he held on. May watched them curiously. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Grant inch closer. He was preparing to jump in if the girl tried anything.

 

“What the hell are you doing?” she struggled. “Let me go.”

 

“I see you,” Coulson replied. The girl continued to struggle against his hold.

 

“Well, I would hope so. I didn’t think your eyes were fake.” Her words were laced with sarcasm.

 

“No, I _see_ you. Not just the tough shell you have protecting you, but you. All of _you_.” The girl thrashed even more.

 

“You don’t see shit, so stop looking at me like that. It’s fucking creepy.” She lashed out. May noticed a slight waver in her. It only lasted less than a second, but she noticed. The girl was becoming uncomfortable.

 

“Tell me, when was the last time someone actually saw you? When was the last time someone actually looked? Really looked? Not just glanced and wrote you off as a troubled teen with anger issues. I see through your shell and it hurts.” The girl was shaking. Whether from anger or fear, May couldn’t tell.

 

“Get the hell away from me,” she yanked her arm violently, but still Coulson didn’t let go.

 

“It hurts because you’re just a kid, but you’re filled with so much pain. I can see it in your eyes. As hard as you are trying to hide it, I can still see it. What happened to you?”

 

“None of your goddamned business,” she hissed. “Why do you care? You’re just some government tool bag. You and your two robots,” she nodded towards May and Ward. “I’m not your fucking charity case, so you can stop with this bullshit pretending to care act.”

 

“Sir, she obviously isn’t going to talk. She’s just a spoiled brat that probably hacked these men for a bit of rebellious fun,” Ward bit out. Coulson looked at May. She nodded and grabbed Ward’s arm. She shut the door once they were out of the room leaving Coulson and the hacker alone. Ward stormed off quickly. May rolled her eyes and went into the room in the middle of the plane where she pulled up in camera in the interrogation room.

 

“Sorry about that,” Coulson said. “Ward isn’t very good at controlling his anger.” He was still gripping her hand.

 

“I get it. He’s pissed that I smashed his pretty robot face in.” The hacker replied.

 

“So are you going to tell me?” Coulson asked after a moment of silence. “What exactly happened to you?” The girl laughed bitterly.

 

“Are you going to tell me why you’re pretending to care?” she shot back.

 

“I’m not pretending. And is there any reason that I could give you that will make you believe me?” he countered. The girl didn’t answer. She didn’t need to. “I joined SHIELD because I believe what they stand for, protection. Not just of the world from the much weirder world, but the individual of this earth. You need protection. You need someone to look at you and see you other than an angry delinquent. You’re incredibly smart. That hack job you did today had the jaws of several high level SHIELD agents dropping to the floor. Some of our best computer scientists couldn’t even stop you and they’ve all gone through extensive training at the SHIELD Academy. I want to help you.” May listened to what he was saying but more importantly she was listening to what he was not saying. He said _I want to help you_ , but what he didn’t say was _I want to save you_. “Will you let me help you?” _Will you let me save you?_

 

That was the thing about Coulson. He saw the best in everyone. This girl is neck deep in trouble. She’s seconds away from drowning. If anyone could save her, it would be him. He would save this girl just like he saved May.

 

She didn’t immediately answer his question. Instead she studied him closely, gauging him. She was looking for any ulterior motive. She was trying to decide if she should take a leap of faith and trust him.

 

FitzSimmons and Ward slipped into the room. May didn’t turn to acknowledge them.

 

“Has she said anything about why she was hacking the men?” Simmons asked.

 

“No,” May replied shortly. Her eyes remained on the screen.

 

“We couldn’t hack into her equipment. We could barely touch it, honestly. The level of encryption on it was staggering, even one wrong move and everything would have been erased. It’s quite impressive.” Fitz explained.

 

“Impressive?” Ward sneered. “The only thing impressive is that she hasn’t been thrown in jail yet. She’s a hacker. There is no telling how many other people she’s hacked and tried to blackmail. There is no telling how many lives she’s probably destroyed.”

 

“She’s just a kid,” Simmons argued.

 

“Yeah, a kid that has hacked a couple of billionaires and tried to blackmail them into doing god knows what. She’s old enough to face the consequences of her actions.”

 

“The only person who knows why she did it is her. Those men are not good people. That’s why they're on SHIELD's radar.” Fitz backed Simmons up

 

“That doesn’t give her the right to-” before Ward could continue, May interrupted.

 

“Shut the hell up or leave the room,” she snapped. She glared at the three agents before turning back to the monitors. Coulson was standing up.

 

“I’ll give you some time alone,” he nodded “Just think about what I said. I’m not here to hurt you.” His posture was tense as he made his way to the door. May could see the toll that conversation was taking on him. He wanted to so bad to help the girl, but couldn’t do anything if she didn’t let him. The ball was in the hacker’s court. Coulson was about to pull the door open when she finally talked.

 

“Skye,” she said quietly. Coulson turned to look at her. “That’s my name.” Coulson relaxed visibly. A name didn’t mean she trusted him, but it was a start. He took it as sign and made his way back to the chair in front of her.

 

“Well, Skye,” he said softly. “Tell me what’s going on and I promise you I will do everything in my power to help you.”

 

“Why me?” Skye whispered. Her voice cracked slightly. May’s eyes flickered back and forth between the two.

 

Coulson smiled. “Why not?” The question hung there for a moment.

 

“I’m not worth it,” she answered. “I’m not worth saving.” Skye fidgeted in her seat.

 

“Everybody is worth saving. You just have to find the person who is willing to go the extra mile for you.” She chewed on his words for a moment. May could see the shell cracking.

 

“Why were you blackmailing Marcus Vincent?” She reached in her back pocket and pulled out a picture. She set it in front of Coulson.

 

“That’s Trip,” she explained. “He’s the only family I’ve ever known. Without him, I would have died a long time ago. He-” Skye broke off. She swallowed thickly before continuing. “He saved my life.” Coulson nodded. He picked up the picture and examined it before asking,

 

“What does he have to do with this?” The question wasn’t rude, merely curious.

 

“It’s a well-known fact that Vincent, Killian, Castillo, and Marks are neck deep in illegal business. SHIELD has been watching them for how long? And you’ve never been able to pin anything on them. They’re that good. They’re basically untouchable. They have people of all kinds covering their tracks. Anyone who even gets the slightest notion of backing out of their illegal business gets taken care of rather quickly. The same with anyone who dares to stand up against them. They can do whatever they want and not have a worry in the world about it. Everyone is expendable to them and no one is innocent. I just wanted to stop them. I _needed_ to stop them.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because of Trip and what they did to him. He was in the wrong place at the wrong time. He was working the late shift at one of the local bars. One of Vincent’s little pawns had one too many drinks and said something he shouldn’t have. Trip swears he didn’t understand much, but they didn’t care. They beat him within an inch of his life and threw him in a dumpster.” Skye was trying so hard to hold her tears in. She was unsuccessful. “I was the one that found him, but it was already too late. He’s in a coma at the Henry Ford Medical Center. They say he may never wake up. He was the only person I had in this world.” She sobbed. “He warned me you know? After he left work, he told me about what happened. I just rolled my eyes and told him that he was worrying too much. He wanted to leave. That’s how scared he was, but I convinced him that he was being silly. He listened to me because he trusted me and I let him down.”

 

“It’s not your fault, Skye,” Coulson said comfortingly.

 

“But it is,” she disagreed. “He saved my life, but I couldn’t save his. I had to do something, anything to try and make up for that.” She cried.

 

“If you got yourself killed, what would that have accomplished?” Coulson asked.

 

May heard a sniffle behind her. She turned around. Fitz was looking at his hands, a frown on his face. Simmons was wiping tears out of the corner of her eyes. Ward was trying hard not to let his angry face slip. May turned back to monitor and tried to swallow the lump in her throat. No weakness…no weakness…no weakness.

 

It was hard not to feel for the kid. She was so young and yet she was drowning in pain and sorrow. It was an unfair life for a kid to lead. She wondered where Skye’s parents were. Were they dead? Or did they just abandon their child? Anger swelled up at the last thought.

 

“I don’t know,” she snapped loudly. “But I couldn’t just sit idly by while my only family disintegrated! I owed it to him to at least try.” She buried her face in her hands. “I just wanted them to pay for what they did to him and what they took from me. And I wanted to prevent them from doing it to someone else. No one should have to go through what those men put Trip through.” Her words were muffled but May could hear them clear as day. Coulson stood up and walked around the table. He put a hand on her shoulder reassuringly.

 

“They will,” he promised. “I will help you. Together we will take them down. You hacked into their systems. With the information you found and the Intel SHIELD has been gathering over the years, I’m positive that we have something that can be pinned on them. But I need your help Skye.”

 

Skye nodded. “The encryption on my equipment is coupled to the GPS. Get me back to where you picked me up and I can decrypt the files.” Coulson smiled tenderly at her.

 

“Alright, let’s get started then.”

…

 

_Melinda May was not the type of person to panic. Ever. It was something she didn't do, but here she was, panicking. She probably looked like a chicken with her head cut off as she ran around her house gathering everything she needed all the while thinking that it was too early and where the hell was Phil._

 

_She was in the kitchen preparing to cook supper when it happened. One moment she was cutting bell peppers and the next her legs were soaked and there was a puddle of water around her. The first thing she did was call Phil screaming. The man immediately left work._

_“I’ll be there soon,” he promised. “Everything'll be okay.”_

 

_But Melinda wondered if it would be. The baby wasn’t due for another month. It was too soon. There was something wrong. Melinda could feel it and that only increased her panic._

 

_“Phil,” she breathed in relief when he arrived home. “Phil, it’s too early. She isn’t supposed to be here for another month.”_

 

_“Hey, hey, shhhh…” he whispered. He cupped her face gently. “It’s okay, Melinda. She’s going to be okay. She’s strong, just like her mother.” Melinda nodded. She wasn’t full convinced, but she trusted her husband. **Husband** …that word was still so foreign to her. They had been married a little over a month and she was still adjusting to it. She never thought she would get married or have kids and yet here she was, in labor with her husband trying to calm her. “Come on,” he smiled. “Let’s go have a baby.”_

 

_Her heart beat erratically. Phil put their hospital bags in the back seat of the car and then helped Melinda into the passenger seat. He drove as fast as he could to the hospital. His hand never left hers. When they arrived at the hospital they were immediately admitted. Everything was happening so fast. Dr. Maxwell arrived quickly and began checking Melinda. She held Phil’s hand tightly as contraction after contraction hit her._

_“It hurts,” Melinda whimpers._

 

_“I know, baby, I know.” He looked at Dr. Maxwell. “Is there anything that will help with the pain? An epidural or something?”_

 

_“Unfortunately not,” Dr. Maxwell replied. “Melinda is already 9 centimeters dilated. This baby is coming fast.”_

 

_“No, no, no,” Melinda cried. “It’s too early. I’m not ready. All of the books said labor lasted hours, especially with the first kid. If she’s coming this fast, something must be wrong!”_

 

_“Shhh,” Phil kissed her temple. “We're ready. We can do this; **you** can do this.”_

 

_“We don’t even have a name picked out!” she cried hysterically._

 

_“Melinda,” Dr. Maxwell called calmly. “I know you're terrified. You have every right to be. Having a child is a terrifying experience, but it’s so rewarding. Most labors do take hours, but a baby coming this fast is not uncommon. It doesn’t mean that there is something wrong. It just means that you’ll get to see your baby girl sooner rather than later.”_

 

_“But what if there is something wrong?” she whispered._

 

_“Then I will fix it, but I am telling you that it is unlikely. You’ve had a very smooth pregnancy. You’ve taken very good care of yourself and your baby. You’ve been to every appointment and you’ve followed every instruction. You are fine and so is your baby.”_

 

_“It’s going to be okay, Mel,” Phil squeezed her hand reassuringly. “You can do this.”_

 

_“I can do this,” she nodded. “With you…I can do this with you.”_

 

_“I wouldn’t have it any other way.” Melinda smiled at him through her tears. “I love you so much Melinda.”_

 

_“I love you too.”_

 

_“Okay Melinda, it’s time. I am going to need you to push on the count of three.” Melinda looked at Phil._

 

_“Together?” she whispered._

 

_“Together,” he nodded. Phil kicked off his shows and got in the hospital bed behind her. She leaned against his chest; both of her hands were securely in his. “I’ve got you sweetheart,” he whispered. “I'll always have you.”_

 

_“Okay here we go,” Dr. Maxwell said. “One…two…three.”_

 

_Their baby was born on 6:31 pm on April 29, 1998. Her piercing scream echoed through the room as Dr. Maxwell delivered her. The staff was quick with cleaning her up and checking her vitals._

 

_“Is she okay?” she whispered fearfully. Phil remained behind her, stroking her back soothingly. Dr. Maxwell walked towards the new parents with their small bundle of joy wrapped in a light pink blanket._

 

_“Congratulations mommy and daddy. You have a healthy baby girl.” She placed the baby in Melinda’s arms._

 

_“Oh my god,” she breathed. The baby opened her eyes at the sound of her mother’s voice. “Look what we made, Phil.” She cried._

 

_“I see, baby. I see.” His voice cracked. Melinda could feel his tears hitting her shoulder. They only made her cry harder._

 

_“She's so beautiful.”_

 

_“She looks just like you.” He observed. “She has your eyes. Hi baby. I’m your daddy.”_

 

_“She has your nose,” Melinda commented._

 

_The couple remained engrossed with their baby. Having her in their arms was so surreal. It was like the last several months were almost dream like. Being able to hold her made everything so much more real. She was so small and warm. Her eyes were wide and curious as they took in the world. In reality, Melinda knew her baby wouldn’t be able to see clearly for a couple of weeks, but she liked to think that when her baby looked at her, she was really seeing her._

 

_The doctor and nurses left the room, leaving the small family alone._

_“I feel like if I blink, she’ll just be gone.” Melinda broke the silence._

 

_“I know what you mean,” Phil agreed. Slowly he lifted his hand to stroke the baby’s cheek. She cooed and snuggled into her father’s warm touch._

 

_“I think she recognizes your touch,” Melinda smiled._

 

_“Yeah?” Phil shot her a cocky grin. “She’ll definitely be a daddy’s girl.” Melinda scoffed and rolled her eyes. After a moment, her face became serious._

 

_“Oh god Phil, what are we going to name her?” she gasped. “We’re undercover on a mission. Our last name isn’t even real. If we give her a different last name, it could be a huge red flag.” She felt a swell of panic in her stomach._

 

_“Hey, hey it’s okay Mel. I’ve been thinking about that recently.”_

 

_“You have? It hasn’t even crossed my mind until today. How could I not have thought of that?”_

 

_“You’ve had a lot on your plate, Mel. It’s okay that you didn’t think about the name situation until now.”_

 

_“What were you thinking of?” she asked as she turned to look at her husband_

 

_“I think we should give her our undercover last name. As much as I don’t want too, we don’t know how much longer we will be undercover for. Giving her our real last name would definitely send up a red flag. Plus, even if we weren’t undercover, we’re shield agents. Giving her our last name would be dangerous either way we go.”_

 

_“Giving her our fake last name is the safest option,” Melinda nodded. “What about her first name?”_

 

_“I’ve been thinking about that too. What do you think about Daisy?”_

 

_“Daisy?” she repeated with a sharp intake of breath._

 

_“Daisy May Johnson.” He nodded._

 

_“Oh Phil…It’s perfect.” She smiled down at Daisy. She rocked her gently. “Welcome to the world, Daisy May.”_

 

_“My little angel eyes,” Phil whispered. They watched as Daisy’s eyes began to flutter closed and they continued to watch long after she had fallen asleep._

 

_This was only the beginning for them and their family. It was only the beginning of their forever. As they watched their baby girl sleep, together they imagined what their lives would be like now. They imagined what her first words would be, they imagined her first steps. They imagined dealing with her first tooth coming out and the first time she would get sick._

 

_They imagined her getting potty trained and learning to read. They imagined her first day of school and her first friend. They imagined her first crush and her first heartbreak. They imagined her first dance, her high school graduation, and her college graduation. They imagined the life they would provide for her._

 

_They whispered promises of love and protection to her as she slept. “I will love you until the end of the earth,” Melinda cooed._

 

_“We will always be together,” Phil promised. “We have forever together.”_

 

_But they didn’t have forever. They had five blissful months where everything was perfect. Five months before everything was destroyed. Their covers were blown and everything fell apart so fast. One moment they were putting Daisy down for her nap and the next they were running. Their forever was ripped from them in the blink of an eye. They didn’t even have a chance to say goodbye before their baby and their forever vanished._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all! I hope you’ve enjoyed the first chapter of my new story.
> 
>  
> 
> So obviously I’ve changed a lot. May never married Andrew. At this point I don’t even think he will be in this story. I am leaving the possibility open though. Bahrain happened in 1996. I really liked the idea of her being traumatized, but healing with the help of Phil and her baby. Her character may be a little colder in this story since she obviously went through a lot more in this story than on the show. Having to take down a psychotic kid and losing her baby destroyed her beyond belief.
> 
>  
> 
> Also, I hope the excuse I gave to be able to name Skye Daisy Johnson was believable. I wanted to leave to possibility of her becoming an inhuman open as well.
> 
>  
> 
> Many thanks to Paul and Peter for proofreading this chapter, talking through ideas with me, and encouraging me.
> 
> Anywho, let me know what you think!
> 
>  
> 
> Follow me on Tumblr! Same username!


	2. Missing Pieces

_“There’s this thing I used to do when I was a kid to my mom’s VCR. I’d take it apart piece by piece, then put it back together again. But inevitably, there was always a piece or two left over. Something I didn’t quite know what to do with. So, what do you do with that piece? Do you try to fit it back in? Do you try to make it work? Or do you decide you can live without that missing piece?”_

_-Meredith Grey, Grey’s Anatomy_

 

* * *

 

_Phil Coulson didn’t panic. He was trained to remain calm in the most intense situations. Being in the middle of a high speed chase? Easy.  A dozen guns being pointed at him? No sweat. A bomb about to blow him and everything around him away? Not a problem. Panicking was not an option. Not for him and not in his line of work, but when Melinda called him at work and informed him that their baby was sick and she was taking her to the doctor…nothing in the world could have kept him from freaking out._

_At one point, he was sure the only way he would be able to leave his job was if he killed his boss. His baby was sick and he needed to get to her and his bastard of a boss wouldn’t let him leave until he finished his work. It would have been easy to take the man out and dispose of the evidence. So easy, and it’s not like anyone would miss the bastard._

_The moment he was finished with his work, he took off. He didn’t even bother seeing his boss before he left. Knowing the jerk, he would have given Phil extra stuff to do. He wouldn’t have been accountable for his actions then. As he made his way to his car, he checked for any more messages from Melinda. She sent him a text ten minutes ago informing him that they were leaving the hospital and heading home. He broke at least five traffic laws trying to get home, leading to what was normally a 30-minute commute taking a little over 10 minutes._

_When he arrived home he flew out of his car so fast he was that he was pretty sure he left the keys in the ignition but he couldn’t find it within him to care. The house was unnaturally quiet. Most the lights were off except a lamp in the corner of the living room and a small light coming from Daisy’s nursery._

_Melinda was sitting in the rocker in the corner of the room. She was holding their baby securely against her chest. One of her hands was pressed against her back and the other supported her head. Daisy’s small hands were fisted in her mother’s shirt. When Phil entered she looked up from Daisy and smiled at him._

_“Hey,” he whispered as he moved closer to them. “How is she?”_

_“She’s okay. She has an ear infection. The doctor gave her some antibiotics. It will be cleared up in a couple of days.”_

_Phil let a sigh of relief. He lifted his hand and gently stroked his daughter’s cheek. “I’m so sorry,” he said quietly. “I tried to get here as fast as I could.  The ass wouldn’t let me leave until I was finished for the day.”_

_“Hey,” Melinda said soothingly. “It’s okay. I’m not mad. You couldn’t help it.” Phil couldn’t kick the feeling of guilt in his gut. Daisy wasn’t even a month old and he was already letting her, and Melinda, down. The first time they needed him and he wasn’t there. Melinda must have seen his guilt because she gripped his hand and squeezed gently. She gave him a comforting smile. “Phil, it’s okay. We’re okay…she’s okay. Ear infections are common in newborns. The doctor assured me that it would be okay. Don’t beat yourself up because you couldn’t leave work…especially if it was not by choice.”_

_“She’s sick and I couldn’t be there for her. I couldn’t be there for you. I know you, Melinda, I know you were going out of your mind when you realized she was sick and I wasn’t there to comfort you. I let you down.” He whispered the last part._

_“You didn’t let me down, Phil. You didn’t let either one of us down. You couldn’t help it and I understand that, and I’m sure if Daisy knew what was going on, she would understand. Who knows, next time she gets sick or something is wrong, you might be the one with her and I might not be able to get to the doctor’s in time. Does that make us bad parents? Absolutely not. I know that without a doubt.”_

_Phil smiled at his wife. “I love you.”_

_“I love you, too.” He leaned down and kissed her gently. They broke apart when they heard a small gurgle._

_“Hello, angel eyes,” Phil whispered gently. Daisy lifted her head. Her eyes sought out her father. She smiled and cooed happily at him. Gently he took her from Melinda. “I’ll take care of her if you need to shower or anything.” He said. His eyes remained on his baby. She snuggled into her father’s chest._

_“Hmmm, a shower sounds nice. I’ll be quick. She’ll be getting hungry soon.” Phil nodded but his attention_ _stayed on Daisy. Melinda smiled at her family one more time before slipping out of the room._

 

…

 

“Are you absolutely sure you want to do this Coulson?” Nick Fury asked for the third time. Phil shifted his cellphone from one ear to the other as he began to turn into an empty parking space.

 

“I understand your concerns sir, but I believe that I will be able to help this girl. She’s just had a tough life and she needs someone to believe in her.” He explained.

 

“And you think you’re that person?”

 

“I think so. She opened up to me and gave me the intel she’s gathered on Vincent, Killian, Castillo, and Marks, which has helped SHIELD tremendously. Plus, she’s gotten on their radar in a bad way. She’s in danger now. At the least we need to protect her.”

 

“Intel she gathered illegally. What’s to stop her from hacking us? And we can easily put her in a safe house with a few agents to protect her.” He had a fair point.

 

“Me,” Coulson answered seriously. “She’s not a bad kid. She’s just scared and alone. She’ll be safe on my team and she won’t be alone anymore. I will make sure of that. She deserves this chance sir. Too many people in her life have turned their back or given up on her. I refuse to be another name on the list of people that disappoint her. And if you lock her away in a safe house she will retaliate or break out. Trust me sir, I can do this.”

 

Fury sighed. “Fine. I trust you. I think this is going to turn out extremely bad, but I trust you Coulson.”

 

“Well sir, I will happily tell you ‘I told you so’ when it doesn’t turn out bad.” Fury laughed.

 

“Don’t hold your breath on that one. Have you told the rest of your team?”

 

“Not yet. I will when we get back to the bus.”

 

“Good luck with that one.” Coulson rolled his eyes.

 

“Thank you, sir.” He disconnected the call, turned off his car, and got out. It was time to see if Skye was even going to accept his offer to join the team.

 

Fury wasn’t receptive of bringing Skye onto his, with good reason, and neither were some of the higher level agents but Coulson wasn’t going to let that stop him. He was determined to help this girl. She may pose a potential danger to shield with her skill but Coulson didn’t see her as a threat. He’s said it before and he’ll say it again, she was just a kid. She’s lost her way, but she wasn’t a vicious person. She didn’t do things to purposely hurt people or to be spiteful, she did them out of love. That showed Coulson that she could be saved. All she needed was someone to believe in her. He would be that someone, no matter how many people were against the idea.

 

He found Skye in her brother’s hospital room. She was sitting on the edge of his bed. One of her hands was holding his and the other was stroking his face. He couldn’t make out the words she was whispering to him but he could guess what they were. He waited in the doorway, giving her the privacy she needed to say goodbye.

 

She leaned forward and kissed his forehead. “I love you,” he heard her whisper. His heart broke a little more for the girl in front of him. No one should ever have to deal with the kinds of things she’s dealing with, especially at such a young age. She had the weight of the world on her shoulders and no one left to help her lift it.

 

After a moment more, he cleared his throat to announce his presence. Skye turned to look at him. She gave him a small smile that didn’t reach her eyes. He returned it softly. “You almost ready?” he asked.

 

“Yes,” she replied quietly. Her eyes shifted to Trip before looking back at him. “I just wanted to say goodbye.”

 

“You don’t have to explain yourself, Skye. I understand.” He made his way closer to her. He placed his hand on her shoulder and squeezed it reassuringly.

 

“I feel so bad just leaving him like this. I’m his only family. What if he wakes up? He will be all alone. I feel like I’m abandoning him.” She looked at Trip dejectedly.

 

“Hey,” Phil said softly. “Don’t beat yourself up, Skye. You aren’t abandoning him. Because of you we are one step closer to taking down the men who did this. I gave Director Fury your Intel. A lot of it was stuff that SHIELD didn’t even have. In time we will be able to catch them and lock them away. Until then, however, you aren’t safe. You’ve gotten yourself on their radar in the worst way, and if you stay here, I fear for you.”

 

Skye sighed and turned back to Trip. She didn’t look convinced. “You won’t be able to help him if you’re dead, Skye.”

 

“I know,” she nodded. “I just hate feeling so weak and useless.”

 

He chuckled softly. “You are anything but weak. You’re strong. You have a fire within you that I hope never extinguishes. You will get through this even stronger and so will Trip.”

 

“You know, you are really good at inspirational speeches,” she teased as she stood up.

 

“So I’ve been told.” He smiled at her. “I’ve asked the hospital to contact me if there are any changes with him. As soon as they do, I will let you know.”

 

“Really?” she asked surprised by the action.

 

“Really,” he confirmed.

 

“Thank you.” She gave him a timid smile. This one was closer to reaching her eyes. In time they would get there.

 

“Have you thought about my offer?” he asked as they made their way out of the hospital.

 

“Hitching a ride on the crazy plane?” she shrugged. “I’m not exactly a team player and I don’t think I’ll be very welcomed by your team.”

 

“Well we aren’t exactly a team and you don’t seem like the type of person to let what other people think of you stop you.”

 

“You talk as if you know me,” she muttered with a roll of her eyes. They stopped at a red 1962 Chevrolet Corvette. “This is your car?” she laughed. “It’s so old.”

 

“As old as she may be, she can keep up.” Coulson smiled. His phone rang as he sat behind the wheel. “Go,” he answered.

 

“Sir,” Ward’s voice came through the speaker. “We’ve got word of an 084 in Peru. Professor Carlos Sanchez called it in this morning.”

 

“Is that confirmed?” Coulson asked excitement evident in his voice.

 

“HQ wants us to go in and confirm it.”

 

“Alright, I’ll be there in 15.” He disconnected the call and turned to Skye. She looked at him questioningly.

 

“What’s an 084?”

 

“You have about 15 minutes to decide if you really want to know.”

 

“15 minutes?” she laughed. “There is no way-” her sentence was cut off when Coulson leaned forward and flipped a switch on the dashboard causing the car to begin to lift. “Holy shit.” She breathed as she looked over the side. “Your car can fly? Like, for real?”

 

“Like for real,” he smiled before grabbing his sunglasses and sliding them on. “Might want to buckle up.” He didn’t give her a chance to reply before the car flew off toward where the bus was stationed.

 

…

 

After Daisy was born, Phil’s favorite hobby became watching her sleep, either in her crib or in his arms. He still couldn’t believe that she was real. He never put much stock in the idea of having a family. Both of his parents were dead and he had no siblings. When he was given an offer to join shield he was faced with a decision that was summed up simply: Join SHIELD and help protect the world or live a modest life with a 9 to 5 job and a family. He chose the former and never once did he question that decision.

 

He was recruited in his early twenties by Nick Fury himself. He was molded and shaped in Fury’s image. He went through training at the SHIELD academy and graduated at the top of his class. He was loyal man and a loyal agent. He never questioned his orders or his missions. He dedicated his life to SHIELD and for a while that was enough. Sometimes, he found himself wondering what if he hadn’t chosen SHIELD. What would his career be? Would he be married? Would he have children? He never dwelled on the ‘what ifs’ for long. He never had any reason too. Or so he thought.

 

The mission in Providence was supposed to be simple and straight forward. Fury said they would only be undercover for a couple of months at most. They were being sent in to gather Intel on a gang that had been dabbling in some pretty hefty technology. The gang had a base set up in the suburbs in Providence. Phil and Melinda moved into a vacant house not far from the base under the pretense that they moved there for his job. Gather the Intel and get out is what Fury ordered. They hadn’t expected the gang to be so good at covering their tracks. Pretty soon a couple of months turned into half a year.

 

The longer they were undercover the less likely it seemed that they would be leaving anytime soon. They hadn’t gotten the intel they needed and if they were pulled out abruptly, it might raise the wrong kind of flags. So they remained undercover as a married couple and Phil began to really see what his life would have been like had he not chosen SHIELD. From the moment he met Melinda at the academy he had felt a connection. That connection only grew as the years passed. He loved her with every ounce of his being, thought he never acted on those feelings. He made peace with his decision years ago. SHIELD was his life.

 

The longer they were in Providence, the more he began questioning his decisions and then the anniversary of Bahrain arrived. He had been prepared for it. He was already awake when he heard Melinda gasping for air as she choked on her sobs. He spent that day trying to keep her mind from wondering to Bahrain. Anytime it started, he did something to avert it. Bringing out the alcohol probably wasn’t the best idea, but he shrugged it off. She was in pain and he was determined to ease it.

 

When he woke up the next day it didn’t take a rocket scientist to realize what had happened. When he found her in the kitchen he was expecting them to talk it out, but she never brought it up and neither did he. They let it go and continued with the mission. When she showed him the positive pregnancy test, his entire world was flipped upside down. He threw caution out the window and pulled her against his chest. Whether she felt the same or not didn’t matter at the moment. They were having a baby. His heart was beating erratically and he couldn’t suppress the wide smile that appeared on his face. He was about to pull away when she tentatively wrapped her arms around him.

 

He didn’t have the slightest idea what the next step was. They were agents on an undercover mission. They were not supposed to get involved romantically and they definitely were not supposed to have a baby. The consequences would be great. They both knew that, but somehow, someway, neither one of them even considered abortion or adoption. This was **their** baby. This was **their** miracle. They got married and had a baby with barely a second thought and never once did either of them regret it.

 

Subconsciously, Phil knew that they should consider giving the baby up. He wasn’t naïve, he knew too many things could go wrong but even with that fear in the air, they only talked about giving their baby up for adoption once. Melinda was almost four months into her pregnancy when she brought up the topic.

 

“We lead dangerous lives. There is a reason why family isn’t an option when you sign up to be a SHIELD agent.” Melinda huffed. She was sitting against the headboard of their bed. For the first week after she announced her pregnancy they remained in a state of limbo. They could no longer avoid the fact that they had slept together which resulted in a baby but neither of them knew where they stood.

 

They continued to live their undercover lives by day and gathering intel at night. The same routine day after day. Other than the hug in the kitchen the day of her announcement, touches between them had been minimal. Phil wanted so much to make things official with her. Using the word ‘girlfriend’ seemed silly with his age, but that’s what he wanted. He wanted a relationship with her. When the mission was over, he wanted them to continue to live and be together while raising their baby. He didn’t tell her this because he still wasn’t one hundred percent sure on where she stood and what her feelings were.

 

That all changed when Melinda slipped into his room in the middle of the night a little over a week after he found out about the baby.

 

_“I couldn’t sleep,” she shrugged sheepishly. He just smiled and lifted his covers. She slipped into his bed and snuggled close to him. They fell asleep wrapped in each other. They had been inseparable since. Nothing else was said on the matter. That was one of the great things about them. Nothing else needed to be said. Slipping in his room in the middle of the night was enough to make it official. They didn’t need to have one long talk about what they were and where they were going. They both just knew._

_“I know,” Phil agreed. “I knew what I was giving up when I joined SHIELD and I never thought I would second guess that decision. Until now.”_

_“Can we even protect this baby? If things go south…” she trailed off. She looked down at her growing stomach._

_“I’m not sure, to be honest. This situation isn’t ideal, I know that, but I can’t find it in me to regret it.” Melinda grabbed his hand and squeezed it tightly._

_“I can’t either,” she admitted. “But that doesn’t stop me from wondering if maybe it will be safer for the baby to give him or her up.”_

_“Is that what you want?” he didn’t say it, but he was sure that Melinda could see it in his eyes. He was pleading for her to say no._

_“God, no,” she breathed after a moment of silence. “I want this. I want this baby and I want to be with you. I know I should be mindful of the consequences, especially when Fury finds out, but I just don’t care.” She rested her hand on the small swell of her stomach. “There is a part of me and a part of you growing inside me. Every day I feel it and every day I fall more in love with it.”_

_Phil rested his hand on top of hers. “Watching your stomach get bigger with our child is the most amazing thing in the world. I think about all those years I spent being okay with the aspect of not getting married or having children and now I wonder how I was ever even okay with that. I can’t ever imagine a life without you and this baby.”_

_“I know exactly what you mean, Phil,” she whispered. Their eyes connected. Phil moved his hand from her stomach to cup her neck. He pulled her in for a soft kiss._

_When they broke apart, he let out a breathy laugh. “What?” Melinda smiled._

_“Fury is going to be so pissed,” he muttered._

_“I know,” she laughed. “It’ll be worth it though.” She rubbed her stomach affectionately._

_“Definitely. He may be so mad steam will come out of his ears, but the moment he sees our daughter, he’ll melt. We are going to have a pretty baby.”_

_“Oh, absolutely. Only it’s going to be a boy,” she argued playfully._

_“I am fully prepared to say ‘I told you so’ when she is born.”_

_“Don’t hold your breath.” Phil just smiled and pulled her against him. She snuggled into his chest and let out a content sigh._

_Now, looking down at Daisy several months after that conversation, so small and innocent and real in his arms, he wondered how his choice to join Shield had been so easy. He couldn’t imagine a world without his wife and daughter and he didn’t want to. He would happily leave SHIELD after this mission without looking back. That was a choice he could make without a second thought._

…

 

The air crackled with tension as Coulson waited for a response from his two specialist. He left Skye with FitzSimmons to gather her things and immediately came to inform May and Ward that she would be joining the team. May’s face didn’t show much emotion when he dropped the news on them, but Ward’s eyes widened and his jaw dropped in disbelief.

 

“This is a joke, right?” Ward asked. He had an incredulous look on his face and his arms were crossed over his chest. “I mean; you can’t actually be considering inviting Skye on as a consultant.”

 

“I’m not considering it,” Coulson shrugged. He glanced up from the tablet he was working on and looked at the younger agent. “I’ve already made her an offer to join.”

 

Several emotions flickered across Ward’s face then. Shock, disbelief, and annoyance before settling on anger. Coulson turned from Ward to May, who had yet to put her two cents in. Her face was still impassive. How helpful. “Sir, forgive me, but have you lost your damn mind? Skye is a child with no regard for anyone or anything. She made a mess of things with that hack she performed, not to mention she tried to blackmail a billionaire. Inviting her on is just asking for trouble and I’m sure she will have no problem creating some.”

 

“I understand your concern Agent Ward, but I guarantee you there is nothing you can say to me that I have not already considered. I’m not changing my mind on this matter. Skye is an asset with a very impressive skillset. I’ve never seen talent like that in all my years.”

 

“And that makes her extremely dangerous, sir. She not only managed a very complex hack, but she also shut down any and all attempts to shut her down. The computer scientists at the hub are some of the best from the academy and she made them all look like idiots.”

 

“Exactly. She’s only 17 and she is already far more advanced than some of our best.” Ward scoffed.

 

“Why are you talking about that like it’s a good thing? If her skills are that advanced, then I am sure she can and probably will easily take down SHIELD electronically.”

 

“Ward does have a point,” May finally spoke up. Coulson turned to look at her. “She may have impressive skillset, but so far she’s only used them to break laws and try to bring people down.”

 

“That’s exactly why we need her on this team. Out there in the world, she’s susceptible. Having her here on the plane gives me the opportunity to set her on the right path. To do something useful with her skills.” Ward rolled his eyes.

 

“You’re aiming for a long shot, sir. Inviting her on is a terrible idea.” Coulson nodded slowly.

 

“Your disagreement has been duly noted, Agent Ward.” He turned his attention back to May. He studied her as he waited for her response. Like Ward, her arms were crossed over her chest. Her eyes shifted as she contemplated the conversation.

 

“Why are you so sure she will follow you on the path you laid out?” May finally asked. “She is stubborn and fierce. She obviously has anger issues and has a dark past following her around. I understand you feel like you need to help her, to save her, but honestly can she even be saved at this point?”

 

“You know I’m a little surprised to hear you of all people say that,” Coulson smiled sadly at her. May shifted uncomfortably at the reference he was making. Ward glanced between the two agents questioningly. “She isn’t a lost cause. She’s just a kid that has been dealt a bad hand.”

 

“That doesn’t mean she hasn’t passed the point of no return,” Ward huffed.

 

“Yes, it does,” Coulson said confidently. “She puts on a tough façade, but deep down, she is terrified. I fully believe that she can be saved, not because I have some deluded optimism, but because everything she has done, the hack and the blackmail, has been motivated by love for her brother. It’s not news to us that these men are corrupt and kill any and every one in their way, no matter how young or innocent. They’ve been doing it for years. We couldn’t do anything because we didn’t have the proof and everyone else was too terrified to stand up to them. Skye wasn’t. They took away the only family she had left so she did the impossible.

 

"With the Intel that she managed to gather, there is no doubt in my mind that SHIELD will now be able to shut them down. So, both of your doubts have been noted. I understand where you are both coming from, but I believe that time will change your mind. I have a feeling that she will surprise you. I have a feeling that she will surprise all of us.”

 

Just then FitzSimmons and Skye entered the second floor of the bus. FitzSimmons were helping Skye carry her belongings to her bunk. The three were chatting away, smiling and laughing. None of them seemed to notice the tension in the air. Coulson felt a small flicker of relief course through him. Seeing Skye get along with the scientists eased some of the worry he had about his decision. He spoke truthful when he told May and Ward that no matter what they said, he wouldn’t change his mind about bringing her on, but the worry of the possible bad outcomes was still there.

 

He wasn’t naïve. He knew inviting her onto the team could blow up in his face. She was a rogue asset. She either ran from her problems or confronted them head on. She was young, unpredictable, and stubborn but the choice to invite her on had been surprisingly easy for him. He saw something within the girl, something familiar, and something he could relate too.

 

She wasn’t “a child with no regard for anyone or anything” as Ward had put it. She was a child that was lost. Her entire life people have been turning their backs or giving up on her. For someone so young she had lost so much. Coulson knew what it meant to lose everything. He firmly believed he could and would help her…heal her…save her. She needed him. What he didn’t know at the time was that he needed her as much as she needed him and she would help heal him as well.

 

He looked back to May and then to Ward. “It’s done. I told you two out of courtesy.”

 

“Sir-” Ward began. Coulson held his hand up.

 

“This conversation is over, Agent Ward. Now, we have a mission to prep for. May, you have the coordinates?”

 

May nodded. “Take off in five,” she said firmly before heading towards the cockpit.

 

“Ward, I want you to do some research on Professor Sanchez.”

 

“Do you have reason to believe he is leading us into a trap?” Ward questioned gruffly.

 

“No, but I’d like to be cautious. FitzSimmons are going to be in the field to confirm if it’s an 084 and I don’t want any surprises.”

 

“Yes, sir,” he said stiffly. He barely looked at Skye as he brushed past her and left the room. Skye let out a soft laugh,

 

“What’s funny?” he asked as he walked closer to her.

 

“Your robot needs to be oiled,” she snorted.

 

“You might want to strap in. We’re about to take off,” he said as he motioned or her to sit. She sat down and buckled up. “I’d appreciate it if you didn’t keep provoking Agent Ward.” Coulson sat down next to her and buckled up.

 

“But he makes it so easy. I mean does the guy even know how to smile? There is no way he could enjoy life when he has a stick so far up his-”

 

“Skye…” Coulson warned.

 

“Sorry…” she mumbled. “So…an 084?”

 

“It’s an object of unknown origin,” he explained. “Kind of like you.”

 

“I’m going to choose to take that as a compliment.” She smiled. “So have you ever encountered an 084 before?”

 

“Yes, a few of them. The last one was pretty cool.”

 

“Yeah? What was the last one?” Her elbows were resting on the table and her head was propped on her hands.

 

Coulson looked at her with a sly smile. “A hammer.” Skye smiled excitedly.

 

“No way. Thor’s hammer?” He nodded. “So you met him? What was he like? Are his arms as dreamy as I’ve heard?”

 

Coulson gave her a funny look. “I didn’t really take the time to look.”

 

She sighed and leaned back. “Such a shame.” Coulson just smiled in reply. As the bus began to take off, he looked at Skye.

 

“Nervous?”

 

“Are you kidding? I’m so excited.” She smiled.

 

“The exuberance of youth,” Coulson muttered as he leaned back in his seat. He watched Skye as she looked around the bus. Her right leg bounced excitedly. He smiled softly at her. Yes, he definitely made the right choice bringing her on.

 

…

 

_Everything was taken away from them in the blink of an eye. When he thought back to this day, the worst day of his life, he wondered what he could have done to change it. He was haunted by the different things he could have done, should have done, to save his baby by day and he was plagued with nightmares of his lost baby girl at night. After Providence, after the disappearance of his little girl, he lost a part of himself. A part that he didn’t even try to get back. A part that would forever be lost._

_It was a rainy September afternoon. Phil had the day off and had spent the entire day with his wife and daughter curled up on the couch or playing on the floor. They had disconnected all electronic devices to keep from being bothered. “I still can’t believe she is sitting up on her own.” He said excitedly. “She’s growing too fast, Mel. It needs to stop.”_

_Melinda laughed. “Before you know it, she’ll be going on her first date.”_

_Phil’s smile fell. “Don’t even joke. She's never going to date.”_

_“Oh Phil,” she scoffed._

_He shook his head. “Nope. No hormonal teenage punk is going to break her heart. I refuse.”_

_“How about we continue this conversation in a few years,” Melinda suggested._

_“Yeah, like a few years is going to change my mind,” he said sarcastically. Phil grabbed Daisy’s purple bunny and shook it in front of her. “Look what I got, angel eyes,” he cooed. “Do you want your bunny?” Daisy gave him a wide smile that showed off her one tooth before reaching for the toy. Phil gave it to her without hesitation. Almost immediately she sucked the bunny’s ear into her mouth._

_Melinda stood up from her place on the couch. She began to unbutton her shirt. “Looks like someone is getting hungry.” Daisy looked away from her dad at the sound of her mother’s voice. She smiled widely and set the bunny on the floor before reaching for Melinda._

_Melinda scooped her up and sat back on the couch. Once they were both situated, she pulled down her bra. Daisy latched on immediately, closed her eyes, and let out a content sigh. One of her small hands balled into a fist and the other rested on the swell of her mother’s breast. Phil moved to sit next to them. He wrapped his arms around them securely._

_“Like father, like daughter huh?” Melinda teased. Phil snorted and kissed her temple. Once she was fed, burped, and changed, they put her down for her nap. Phil and Melinda stood over her crib, wrapped in each other’s arms, watching as she drifted out of consciousness._

_Gently Phil reached into her crib and stroked her soft cheek. “God Mel, I still can’t believe we created something so perfect.”_

_“I know what you mean,” she whispered. “Sometimes I fear that this is all a dream and I’m going to wake up. I mean I don’t deserve you or her and I’m terrified that that fear will become a reality.”_

_“Hey,” he whispered comfortingly. “We’re both here. We’re both real. I promise you Mel, we aren’t going anywhere. We will always be together.”_

_“I’ll hold you to that,” she smiled. She nuzzled her face into the crook of his neck. He rubbed her back soothingly._

_“I am more than happy to keep that promise.” He replied softly. After a moment of silence Phil smiled. “Do you think sometime next year Daisy will have a younger brother or sister?” His voice was so hopeful. Melinda laughed._

_“Slow down, tiger. Maybe in a couple of years.” Phil smiled joyfully. Melinda just rolled her eyes. The couple remained by their daughter’s crib perfectly content to watch her stomach rise and fall with every breath she took. Things were as close to perfect as they could get…until they weren’t._

_It only took a second for chaos to ensue. One second things were quiet and peaceful. The only noise in the entire house was the soft music coming from the Mobil hanging over Daisy’s crib and the next second a loud and violent explosion shook the house. The window in their daughter’s room exploded, glass flying everywhere. Both Phil and Melinda were quick to cover Daisy from the flying glass._

_Daisy woke up with a loud wail. Melinda quickly grabbed her and held her protectively against her chest. Phil grabbed her baby blanket and covered her. “What the hell was that?” she hissed._

_“I have no idea. Stay here. I’ll go see.” He didn’t wait for a reply, he just turned and ran out of the nursery. When he reached the living room, his eyes widened. The entire front of their house had been turned to rubble from the explosion. He tried to find the source of the explosion but the smoke and the fire that consumed his front yard blinded him._

_A gruff coughing pulled him out of his search. He walked toward the sound slowly, gauging his surroundings for any other possible threats. “Fury?” Coulson whispered in disbelief as he rounded what was left of the living room couch. The man was curled up tightly. He had grabbed one of the couch pillows to help shield him from the blast. Coulson helped him up. “You alright, sir?”_

_“No, I’m not okay, Coulson,” he muttered. “I was just caught in an explosion trying to save you and Melinda.”_

_“Save us? From what?” his eyebrows knitted together in confusion._

_“Your covers have been blown. The intel you two have gathered in the last two weeks was a trap. From what we could tell, the gang suspected that someone was getting information. Once they ruled everyone in the gang out, they stated looking at the people around them.”_

_“Holy shit. We had no idea sir.” he said somewhat shocked. “Where is the extraction team?”_

_“As soon as we found out you two were blown, the extraction team was contacted but they’re hours away. They wouldn’t have made it. We tried to call but your phone was disconnected. I was close so I made the call to come myself.” Phil mentally kicked himself for ever thinking disconnecting the phone was a good idea._

_“How-” he began._

_“Coulson, we need to move,” Fury interrupted him. “The explosion gave us cover, but we have to move.” Coulson nodded before and turned to follow Fury. Halfway to the hallway, he stopped abruptly. Fury turned and eyed the man. “What Coulson?” he snapped._

_“Sir-” he began but was cut off by a piercing cry. Realization dawned on Fury. He narrowed his eyes at Phil before he turned and stormed toward the source of the cry. Phil followed him quickly. The two men stopped in the doorway of the nursery._

_“What have you two done?” Fury hissed as he took in the crying baby in Melinda’s arms. She bounced the baby softly, shushing her._

_“We didn’t plan for this to happen…” Coulson tried to explain. Fury held his hand up._

_“I can’t handle this right now. We need to move, and fast before all of us are killed. I have some spare vehicles 20 miles east of here at an old, shut down gas station. We will split up and meet back there once we are free and clear.”_

_“Okay,” Coulson nodded. “Mel and I will take our car and meet you there. Where is your car?”_

_“In the alley behind your house. I can get to it from the back door. Give me the baby.” Both Melinda and Coulson froze._

_“What?” Melinda said fiercely. She clutched Daisy closer to her chest and stepped away from the two men. She turned so Daisy was shielded from Fury’s view._

_“No,” Coulson said immediately._

_“I don’t have time to deal with this,” Fury snapped. “You two screwed up. You had a baby while on an undercover mission. YOU two, put her life on the line. I can’t believe how stupid you two are. Once you leave this house, every member of the gang will be looking for you. If you take that baby with you, she will get hurt.”_

_“We will protect her!” Melinda growled._

_“Not when there are dozens of guys speeding after you and shooting at you. You’ll be distracted. She has a better chance with me. They won’t be looking for me.”_

_Melinda looked at Phil, panic clear in her eyes. “I trust him to keep her safe.” Phil whispered. She didn’t look convinced, but she trusted Phil so she nodded hesitantly. She kissed her baby on the forehead before putting her in her carrier and buckling her in. “I will see you soon, baby girl,” she whispered tenderly._

_Fury grabbed the carrier and nodded at Melinda. Phil handed him a baby bag. “In case she needs anything before we meet back up.” He explained. Fury nodded again. “See you soon, angel eyes,” he whispered, stroking her cheek once more._

_Fury turned and left the nursery without a second look. Melinda and Phil watched as he left, unaware that they had just seen their baby girl for the last time._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. I’m sorry it took so long to get out, I just wasn’t happy with everything I wrote. I re-wrote this chapter at least three times haha.
> 
>  
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> This will be the last of the flashbacks for a while. I wanted you all too really get a feel of what Melinda and Phil were like before they lost their baby but now I will be focusing on the present day and building up the relationship amongst the team members.
> 
>  
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> I will be taking stuff from the show, but mostly I will be making up new cases.
> 
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> I’d love to hear your thoughts on the chapters.
> 
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> Many thanks to Paul and Peter for proofreading, talking ideas through with me, and encouraging me to write.
> 
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> Follow me on Tumblr. Same username!


	3. Childhood Lost

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Mention of suicide

_“The girl looks out the window, watching the gentle, familiar blue sky fade into darkness. The stars come out, slowly at first and then all together, diamond-bright, each one a new world to discover.  But no matter how long the girl looks, she feels nothing. Puzzled, she looks for the girl who wanted to be an explorer, the girl who wanted to learn deep-sea diving and mountain-climbing, the girl who wanted to travel the stars. But she can't find her. That girl died when her parents did, in a little shop in the slums of November. And now she has no soul left to shatter.  She closes the shade over the window.”_

_― Amie Kaufman, This Shattered World_

* * *

 

_“Skye…Skye listen to me. Are you listening?”_

 

Skye’s head was pounding. She could hear blood pulsing through her ears. Tears welled up in her eyes. She quickly wiped them away. She wouldn’t give them the satisfaction of seeing her cry. If today was the day she was going to die, she sure as hell wasn’t going down without a fight. She would do everything within her power to stop these people. Not only for herself and the team, but for Trip as well. The idea of leaving him alone in this shitty world made her sick. So she would fight and hopefully that will be enough. It had to be enough.

 

_"It’s okay. Don’t be afraid, Skye, don’t be afraid. I need you to remember what I said to you, okay? You are who_ **_you_ ** _choose to be. You have your entire life ahead of you. You have so much potential. You could be magnificent. You_ **_will be_ ** _magnificent.”_

 

The sound of shouting reached her ears. They were getting closer. It would be a matter of minutes before her hiding spot was discovered. She toyed with the tiny device in her hands, praying it would work. She didn’t have much time to put it together so there was a possibility it would fail. If it did…then it was over. She would be killed and so would the rest of the team. She may not be fond of some of them, but that didn’t mean she wanted them dead. She clutched the device tightly in her right hand when she heard the door of the server room open. They had found her.

_"Be who you were meant to be and don’t ever let anyone try to crush you. You will find a family that will love you unconditionally. I’m sorry it wasn’t me. I wanted it to be, but I just can’t do this. I’m sorry. Don’t blame yourself and know that I do love you. Cover your ears sweetheart.”_

 

She felt a large hand grip her bicep tightly and jerk her up. A sharp pain shot down her arm. She struggled against his grip but he paid it no mind. He just continued to pull her. They stopped in the middle of the room and he began speaking to another man in Spanish. Momentarily she mentally kicked herself for not staying in school long enough to learn Spanish and thought that if she got through this, she would definitely learn it. Among others. Either way it didn’t take a genius to figure out what they were talking about. The guy that grabbed her said something while gesturing towards her. The other man just nodded before turning around and began speaking to the other rebels. They were all close enough. That was the first piece of good news of the day. She watched as the other guy reached for his gun. It was now or never.

 

_“…911 what’s your emergency?”_

 

She closed her eyes and activated the device.

 

…

 

**24 hours earlier**

 

 

Skye sat cross-legged on her bed, her back pressed against the wall. Gently she traced the picture she was holding and smiled sadly. “I wish you could be here Trip.” She whispered. She traced over his face one more time before slipping it under her pillow. She looked around her bunk and sighed. They had been flying for a little over an hour and she was already bored out of her mind. She had already unpacked all of her belongings, not that she had many. After her talk with Coulson he went up to his office. May stayed in the cockpit, Ward followed Coulson and she hadn’t seen any of them since. FitzSimmons were downstairs working on something and bickering like an old married couple so that left Skye on her own without the slightest clue as to what she needed to do as a “consultant.”

 

“I guess I’ll bite the bullet,” she muttered before slipping out of her bunk and heading toward Coulson’s office. She knocked twice before opening the door. “Sorry to interrupt, I was just wondering how much longer we would be before we landed?”

 

“Bored already Skye,” Ward sneered. “Maybe you shouldn’t have come then.”  She narrowed her eyes at him. She briefly wondered how much trouble she would be in if she punched that stupid smirk off his face. It might be worth it. No, it would definitely be worth it.

 

“Why don't you go back to the factory Ward,” she fired back. “Your personality could use an upgrade.”

 

Ward opened his mouth to reply, but Coulson held up his hand to cut him off. “We will be landing in a few hours,” he replied. “Did you need something?”

 

“No. Maybe. Do you need me to do something? I mean you invited me on as a consultant and I was just wondering what exactly my job is.” She shrugged.

 

Ward snorted before mumbling “me too.” Skye shot him a quick glare before returning her attention to Coulson. “I don’t have anything for you to do right now Skye, but once we land, I’m sure there will be something. For now, why don’t you familiarize yourself with our systems?”

 

Skye nodded before turning around. She flashed Ward a smile before heading out of the office. She grabbed her lap top and headed into the briefing room. “Alright, let’s see how good SHIELD security is.”

 

…

 

Skye lost track of time after she left Coulson’s office. That wasn’t an uncommon thing when she started hacking, especially if she was really enjoying the hack. And hacking into SHIELD’s security was quite fun. She was so enthralled that she didn’t even notice FitzSimmons slipping into the room and watching her.

 

She continued sorting through SHIELD’s security until she was pulled from her work. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Ward snapped. Skye sighed and rolled her eyes. She turned to look at him. He was standing in the doorway, his arms crossed over his chest, and what she thought was a constipated look on his face.

 

“I’m doing what Coulson suggested and familiarizing myself with the system,” she replied sardonically. “Or I was, before I was so rudely interrupted.” She glanced at Coulson and May as they slipped into the room. Ward’s scoff drew her attention back to him.

 

“He said familiarize yourself with our system, not hack SHIELD.” He bit out.

 

“Are you aware of how one is supposed to become familiar with a system Agent Ward?” she asked sarcastically. She set her laptop down and hopped off the surface she was sitting on. “Here's a hint, it’s not by staring at a blank computer screen.”

 

Before he could reply, Coulson stepped forward. He held up his hand to stop Ward before looking at Skye. “Skye,” he began. “I appreciate you listening to my suggestion, but Agent Ward is right. I didn’t mean for you to hack into SHIELD’s main system. We have our own system on the bus. That is what I was talking about. I should have been more specific.”

 

“She should have known. For a hacker that kicked up a lot of fuss when she was hacking four firewalls at once, what she did just now was either stupid or done on purpose.” Ward snapped. Skye didn’t see the look Coulson gave him, but it definitely caused him to back down. Skye let out a laugh drawing everyone’s attention.

 

“Ward’s right,” she said nonchalantly as she turned back towards the big screen. “It was done purposely because I needed to prove something.”

 

“What exactly did you need to prove?” May asked. “Your worth? Your skill?”

 

Skye snorted. “Oh no, I’ve already done that. I needed to prove how weak SHIELD’s security is. At first I stayed on the bus’s system, but then I started noticing a lot of stuff that was wrong with just your system,” she motioned to the screen with her hand. She turned toward Coulson to make sure he was following along. “You told me that even your best computer scientist couldn’t find me so it had me curious, and once I saw all the holes and errors I just had to dig further and I really want to know which committee designed this OS of yours. It's a complete boondoggle.”

 

Coulson looked at her weirdly. “What do you mean?”

 

Skye smiled and turned toward her laptop. She pressed a couple of buttons and several things started happening on the big screen. "There are superfluous blocks of coding everywhere. There are dozens of programs running that don't do anything but take up system resources. Firewalls that have dozens of critical weaknesses a skilled hacker can exploit. Encryption that anyone with some computer skill and a half decent computer can bypass. And very badly configured network connections, causing unnecessary bottleneck. So to summarize, it takes up twice the storage space, three times the processing power, has firewalls made of Swiss cheese, the encryption isn't worth the name and it can't communicate between systems properly. What kind of idiots are you training at the Academy? It’s no wonder they couldn’t track, stop, or even slow me down. I wouldn’t let them plan a three-year old’s birthday party let alone work for a very secretive organization that is supposed to be protecting the world from the much weirder world. How do you expect them to be able to protect anything when they can’t even do the simplest thing on a computer?”

 

Once Skye was finished the room was enveloped in silence. She looked at each of the agent’s faces. They ranged from shock to annoyance (one guess on who was annoyed) but no one said anything. They just looked back and forth between her and the computer screen.

 

Finally, Coulson cleared his throat. “I’ll pass on your findings to the director. Can you send me what you have?”

“Already did. I also sent it to Victoria Hand, since she’s in charge of the Hub. I figured she’d want to know how stupid her people are. And I sent it to Nick Fury too. Saves you from having to do it.” Coulson’s eyes widened in surprise but before he could reply Skye closed her laptop and looked at May. “How much longer until we land?”

 

She looked at Skye incredulous. She opened her mouth before quickly shutting it. It was clear that she wasn’t quite sure what to do with the younger girl. “Almost two hours,” she replied.

 

“Cool. I’m going to take a nap.” Before she could exit the room, Coulson spoke up.

 

“How exactly did you get all of our emails? Only a handful of agents have them.”

 

Skye gave him a smile and a small shrug. “One of the many things that I found once I got past SHIELD’s flimsy security.” She turned, patted Ward on the arm, and headed toward her bunk. She didn’t hear from anyone until they began to land.

 

…

 

Skye winced as her head made contact with the window yet again. “Damn potholes,” she murmured to herself as she rubbed her head soothingly. She turned to look at the agents she was sharing the SUV with. Fitz and Simmons were in the backseat with her. Ward had shot gun and May was driving. Coulson was in the vehicle ahead of them with the Professor who called in the 084. Skye was dangerously close to getting on her knees and begging to go with Coulson.

 

He just squeezed her shoulder reassuringly and said “some time with the team will do you some good. You will be seeing them for a while.” She rolled her eyes at that. She had no doubt that avoiding them would be both easy and a blessing. Well, maybe not the entire team. She liked Fitz and Simmons. She mainly wanted to avoid Ward’s hostile gaze and May’s coldness. She avoided the nuns in the orphanage, which was not an easy feat, but she managed. Avoiding May and Ward wouldn’t be any harder. Especially in a plane with numerous nooks and crannies.

 

After what seemed like an eternity, but was probably only five minutes, the car stops on the outskirts of a small village. People were everywhere, shopping or making things, continuing with their everyday activities. “Shouldn’t we warn them? I mean isn’t an 084 bad business? These people need to get to safety.”

 

“Oh yeah and while everyone is panicking and screaming, how are we supposed to do our jobs?” Ward asked sarcastically. “Which reminds me, what is your job? I get that Coulson brought you on to keep you safe, but you would have been plenty safe on the bus.”

 

“Oh yeah, because if this thing explodes or comes to life, people won’t be panicking and screaming then. It's an option. Coulson apparently likes those.  And better yet, it’s an option we have a chance at controlling. If this thing reacts in anyway, we won’t be able to calm these people. Not to mention what I suggested would protect these people, one of the things SHIELD is apparently founded on. Something even I already know. Did they forget to program that into you? And staying on my own in the bus, in an area with anti-government insurgents? And I'm not certain what I can do here, but I'm sure that I'll be more useful than you are.” She didn’t wait for a reply. She just opened the door and slipped out the car. As soon as she spotted Coulson, she headed towards him.

 

He was talking to the professor when she reached him. “Thank you. Why don’t you go ahead and clear out your people? This area isn’t safe.” The professor nodded and walked away. Coulson turned to her. “Enjoy the ride with the team?” Skye gave him a look that said ‘are you serious?’ “I’ll take that as a no.”

 

“What is my job here?” she asked bluntly.

 

“Your job?” he echoed.

 

“Yes. What do I need to do? I’m willing to do anything, and I mean anything, if it keeps Ward happy enough to refrain him from talking to me or coming anywhere near me.” Skye’s eyes widened slightly. “That sounded perverted. I didn’t mean it that way.” She blushed.

 

“I promise you I didn’t take it that way. And I figured we might need someone of your expertise. 084’s can be anything. It could be a weapon, a space craft, an energy source, and more. I want you to help Fitzsimmons determine what it is and what it does.”

 

“Okay,” Skye nodded. She headed toward the temple that held the 084. FitzSimmons were already setting up their equipment.

 

The temple was poorly lit. The only light came from outside, the ‘DWARFs’ that Fitz activated to scan the room and the 084. Skye got closer to the two scientists. “Is that the 084?” she asked. She bent down to get a closer look at it. It was stuck in the ground, glowing and with a swirling mist inside. “It looks like a crystal ball…except you know, not see through.”

 

“Yes, it’s very curious.” Simmons responded absently as she studied the tablet in her hand.

 

“So how do you figure out what it can do?” She looked up at FitzSimmons.

 

“We honestly can't do much in the field,” Fitz shrugged as he pressed a few different things on his tablet. “The only thing we can do is make sure it’s stable enough for transport to the bus. It’s definitely alien. It’s also pulsating.” Skye pulled the hand that was about to touch the orb away quickly.

 

“Pulsating?”

 

“Yes,” Simmons agreed. “There is something inside. Some kind of alien mist, as you can see. I’m afraid that we might not be able to do anything on the bus either. We don’t know how this thing works, but one wrong move, and we could release the mist. And that’s never good.”

 

“No, I would say it isn’t,” Skye muttered, while looking around the room. “What do you need me to do?”

 

“Hand me that small black bag please.” Fitz pointed to where the majority of their stuff was at. Skye grabbed the bag he was talking about and handed it to him. In return he handed her his tablet. “Just monitor the DWARFs and what they are seeing while I check if this thing is stable enough to move.”

 

Skye nodded and began studying the screen. “These things are kind of awesome,” she commented with a smile. “They are all just doing their own thing. Is one basically just smelling?” she looked up at Simmons.

 

“Yes,” she said enthusiastically.

 

“That’s cool.”

 

Before thing else could be said gun fire sounded from outside. Skye winced, slightly startled at the noise. “Rebels.” She muttered.

 

“Fitz, maybe we should wrap it up,” Simmons suggested nervously.

 

“I’m almost done. Skye if you press the hibernate button on the screen, the DWARFs will head back to the case.”

 

“Freaking awesome,” she whispered once she pressed the buttons. She helped Simmons organize the DWARFs as Fitz finished up with the 084. Ward stumbled into the temple short of breath and with his gun drawn.

 

“We need to move. Now. Rebels are attacking. We surprised them, but they will be back so let’s go.”

 

“Yep,” Fitz nodded. Skye picked up the DWARF case. Simmons grabbed the case with their equipment and handed a sample case to Fitz. Gently, he put the 084 in it. Once it was secure, he grabbed it and started moving with the others towards the exit. Ward went out first. FitzSimmons and Skye followed closely. The SUV had been pulled up to the temple. May stood on the temples bottom step, her guard up and scanning what she could of the dense jungle and Coulson stood in front of the car doing the same.

 

“Is everyone okay?” Coulson asked.

 

“Yes sir. Okay and ready to get out of this war zone,” Simmons laughed nervously.

 

“Couldn’t agree more. Let’s go.”

 

As the team loaded up quickly, Skye fell behind as she couldn’t help but look around the area curiously and slightly confused. “Hey!” Ward snapped at her. “Do you want to stay here?”

 

Skye snapped out of her daze and got into the SUV. Ward got in behind her and shut the door. Coulson and May were sitting up front leaving FitzSimmons, Skye, and Ward cramped in the back seat.

 

Coulson began driving back to the bus. As soon as they started hitting potholes Skye winced. “They really should do something about those potholes,” she muttered. She tried to shift to get more comfortable but just as she did, the car hit a pothole and she ended up in Ward’s lap. Skye froze. She looked at Ward. His face was clenched and his eyes were wide. His hands balled into fist.

 

“Sorry,” she muttered slipping off. He nodded tightly but made no move to verbally reply. “How many rebels were there?” she wondered aloud.

 

“Didn’t really have time to count them. Why?” Coulson asked.

 

“It’s just…this place is usually crawling with Rebels. There wasn’t much gunfire and they seemed to take off pretty fast. It’s odd.”

 

“The rebels are idiots.” Ward muttered. “They tried to pick a fight and lost. What’s odd about that?”

 

“The rebels are more organized than you would think,” she argued. “I just feel like there is something more to what happened back there. Like they were testing us.”

 

“Well then, I guess it’s a good thing we don’t base things on your feelings.” Skye turned toward Ward. She looked him up and down. Deciding he wasn’t worth it, she rolled her eyes and turned her attention forward.

 

“Thank you for your concern Skye, but I think we are okay. We made it out safe, with the 084. We will be back at the bus in a minute and then we will decide what to do with it.”

 

“Decide what to do with it?”

 

“Fitz and I, once we are back in the lab, will decide if the 084 is too dangerous. If it is, we will deliver it to the slingshot.”

 

“The slingshot is what we do with anything too dangerous for this world. It gets put in a rocket and sent into the sun.” Fitz explained.

 

“I thought you said you might not be able to do anything with this thing in the lab on the bus?”

 

“Yes that’s correct,” Simmons answered.

 

“But we should be able to figure out whether or not it's dangerous.”

 

Skye nodded. FitzSimmons continued to debate the 084 and its possible purpose, but Skye’s mind quickly drifted off and she turned to gaze at the surrounding jungle. Something just did not feel right about what happened with the rebels back there. Or better yet, what  _didn’t_  happen.

 

…

 

Once they got back to the bus, May immediately went to the cockpit. Coulson went to contact HQ, Ward went to get his daily oiling, so Skye followed FitzSimmons into the lab where she watched them fuss over the device as she tried to distract herself from that nagging feeling that something was off.

 

“It’s quite peculiar,” Simmons muttered after a moment.

 

“Peculiar?” Fitz scoffed in disbelief. “Peculiar isn’t the word I’d use. It’s downright annoying. We’re supposed to determine if this thing needs to be destroyed and we can’t determine that without the specs which we can’t get because it’s alien!”

 

“Oh Fitz,” Simmons sighed.

 

“Don’t ‘Oh Fitz’ me,” he scrunched his face up in annoyance. “You know I’m right.”

 

“Oh of course I do!” Simmons huffed. “What I don’t understand is why you’re freaking out if we can’t determine this right away. It’s an 084 and it has alien properties which are sometimes impossible to understand  _or_  even study. Especially with limited resources.”

 

“Yeah well as long as we are on this team our resources will be limited. Eventually Coulson will be tired of hearing that excuse.”

 

Simmons rolled her eyes. “Do you think we are only going to be dealing with alien 084’s? This lab is more advanced than most, but not enough to deal with an alien 084 of this nature. Which is not entirely unexpected. So what really is the problem?”

 

Fitz groaned. “I told you there would be a time where we’d regret going out into the field!”

 

“What?” Simmons asked confused.

 

“We almost died today!” he exclaimed.

 

“We did not! There was a little gun fire, which the specialists handed. They stopped the threat and protected us. They did their jobs! We weren’t even close to dying.”

 

“Don’t wave me off  _Jemma!_  You know as well as I do that one of those bullets could have hit us!”

 

“Oh bloody hell-”

 

Skye shook her head and left the lab. Obviously those two needed a moment. She headed upstairs. Ward was sitting on the couch reading a book. She had every intention of ignoring him and heading to her bunk, but right as she walked past him he shifted and winced. That’s when Skye saw the blood on his side.

 

“Holy crap, did you get shot?” she gasped before she could stop herself. Ward looked at his side and shrugged.

 

“It’s nothing, just a graze.” He brushed off.

 

“You got shot,” she repeated. “Did Simmons look at that? What am I thinking? Of course she didn’t. You’re too stubborn to ask for help.” Ward glared at her. She ignored it and went behind the mini bar where a small first aid kit was.

 

“Did you actually read that plane pamphlet?” Ward asked.

 

“No, but I figured I had a fifty/fifty shot of being right in assuming that there was one behind the bar.” She shrugged. “And I figured if I went down to the lab to find one, Simmons would either pester me or follow me up here and pester you. Figured you wouldn’t appreciate that. You’re welcome.”

 

Ward smiled and let out a small laugh. “Wow,” Skye said excitedly. “I made you smile and laugh in less than minute. Did you finally get a real heart?”

 

“Shut up,” he muttered.

 

“Yeah, yeah. Lift up your shirt.” When he didn’t, she cocked her head to the side. “Do you want me to do it for you?”

 

“No,” he muttered. “It’s not that big of a deal Skye.”

 

“Well I’ve never been shot before, but common sense tells me that yeah, it is a big deal.” Ward still made no movement to lift his shirt. “Oh come on!” Skye huffed. “At least let clean it up and bandage it. I’m sure it would suck a whole lot more if it got infected.”

 

“Fine,” he huffed before finally lifting his shirt. Skye pulled out the mini bottle of alcohol and some cotton balls. She poured a little of the alcohol on the ball and gently wiped Ward’s wound. He hissed. She muttered a quiet sorry but didn’t stop her work. Once she was confident she had cleaned the wound enough, she leaned towards it. Before Ward could ask her what she was doing, she blew on the wound, relieving some of the burning sensation. She could feel Ward’s eyes on her, but she ignored it.

 

She grabbed one of the big anti-bacterial Band-Aids and gently placed it on the wound. She let out a laugh as she smoothed the Band-Aid on. “What?”

 

“It just seems silly to be putting a Band-Aid on a bullet wound.”

 

“It’s just a graze,” he repeated. “More like a scratch.”

 

“Yeah caused by a bullet going approximately 1700 miles per hour,” She muttered sarcastically.

 

 “You just randomly know how fast a bullet travels?” Ward tried to change the subject.

 

“I know a lot of things.” She smiled at him before standing up and putting the kit back behind the bar. She went to grab the dirty cotton balls, but was stopped.

 

“I got it. It’s my blood anyway.” Skye just shrugged and turned to head to her bunk. Ward was close behind her. When she was at the doorway of her bunk she turned to Ward who continued toward the kitchen.

 

“I’m glad it wasn’t a more serious wound. A few inches to the side and we wouldn’t be having this conversation.”

 

Ward looked at her for a moment. He raised his eyebrow. “What?” she laughed.

 

“I have been the least welcoming person to you since we met.” He stated.

 

“That’s a nice way of saying you’ve been a complete and total asshole. What’s your point?”

 

“You’re happy my wound wasn’t serious,” he repeated.

 

“Well yeah. I’m not a terrible person. Plus, most my entertainment on this bus comes from pissing you off. Hence why I am happy.”

 

Ward laughed and shook his head. He turned back towards the kitchen but stopped short. He glanced back towards Skye. “Thank you.”

 

She smiled. “Don’t mention it. I’m sure something will come up where I’ll need a favor and you, of course, will owe me. I did just save your life.” She teased.

 

“Oh is that so?”

 

“Yep,” she replied popping the ‘p’.

 

“And here I thought you were being kind.”

 

“Nah,” she smiled and slipped into her room. Her eyes scanned her bunk looking for her cellphone. “Ah ha!” she shouted as she spotted it under her pillow. She unlocked it and began playing some game.

 

She headed out of her bunk, not paying attention to anything but her phone. “Skye.” Ward’s vice caused her to freeze and look up. He was standing near the table staring at something to her right. Slowly she turned to find Fitz being held by a gruff looking man. He was holding a knife to Fitz’s throat. The scientist looked terrified.

 

Skye’s heart rate sped up drastically. She then saw Simmons behind the two men. She was being held by another gruff looking man. The guy holding Fitz muttered something in Spanish and the guy holding Simmons replied.

 

Skye prided herself on being right. More times than not she was right, but it was times like this that she hated being right. The ‘attack’ at the temple had been a distraction. But, Skye assumed, it was supposed to keep the team preoccupied long enough for the other rebels to slip on the bus, steal whatever caught their attention, and slip off.

 

They must have hidden downstairs when they saw the team pull up. What Skye couldn’t understand was why? She wasn’t sure how many rebels were on the plane, but probably enough to fight their way off.

 

Skye looked at Ward. He was still frozen by the table. His hands were balled up into fists and his face was a mask of stone but Skye could tell he wasn’t sure what to do.

 

_Well Shit._

 

…

 

Skye had been in her fair share of terrible situations. Some she was able to move past, some that would stay with her and haunt her for the rest of her life…which may be ending very soon. The one thing all of those situations had in common was that she always saw a way out. Whether it was fighting to live, stealing to survive, or running to safety, she always found a way.

 

Unfortunately, she could not see a way out of this. The entire team was in the briefing room, all of their hands tied behind their backs. Skye was next to the door that was closest to the stairs that led to the lab. Ward was next to her and May was unconscious next to him. Skye figured that was the only way they would be able to tie May up. Coulson was across from her. Simmons was next to him and Fitz was next to her.

 

Skye felt for the two scientist. It was obvious that Coulson, Ward, and most likely May if she were awake, were used to being in dangerous situations. And growing up the way Skye did, she was used to seeing terrible things and experiencing trauma. FitzSimmons obviously weren’t accustom to any of that. They were huddled together, whispering to each other.

 

“So…does anyone have a plan?” she asked sheepishly. She looked at Ward.

 

“Why are you looking at me?”

 

“Because you’re a robot. Aren’t you programmed to get out of situations like this?”

 

“I’m a specialist used to working alone. I’m  _not_  accustom to having inexperienced children to deal with,” he bit out.

 

Skye rolled her eyes. Fitz scoffed. “Well excuse us for being more intelligent than strong. You know if it wasn’t for us, you wouldn’t even have weapons to defend yourself.”

 

“Yeah and you wouldn’t get very far with just your bare bum when people are shooting at you,” Simmons threw in.

 

“You two are geniuses. I don’t hear you coming up with anything,” Ward snapped.

 

“It’s hard to focus in these intense situations!” Fitz fired back.

 

“Yeah-”

 

“Really? Really?” Coulson interrupted. “You are choosing now to fight? How about we work together to get out of this and then you can all bicker about your differences." Skye tuned the team’s discussion out, instead choosing to study the group of rebels. There were five of them. They were all in the kitchen eating and drinking, obviously over confident that their hostages wouldn’t be able to escape. Skye could have laughed. She had a couple of run-ins with the law in several of the cities she’d lived in. It gave her great practice at slipping out of handcuffs. What was even better was that the rebels didn’t use handcuffs. They used rope. Idiots.

 

“I have an idea,” Skye whispered.

 

“What is it?” Coulson asked eagerly. Loud clanking drew her attentions. The rebels were finishing up and would soon be heading their direction.

 

“There isn’t time to explain. I’m going to cause a distraction. Just be ready.” Skye said hurriedly.

 

“Wait, what? Be ready? We need more than that Skye!”

 

“Well I can’t give you more or else I will miss my window. They will be distracted with food and alcohol for maybe five more minutes, if we are lucky. I need that time to prepare the distraction because as soon as they see I’m gone; they will come looking. You need to use that time to wake May and get free so when they are distracted you can take them down.” She glanced back towards the rebels. None of them were looking.

 

“Your hands are tied. How are you going to get free?” Ward hissed. Skye pulled her hands from her back. In her right hand was the rope. She tossed it behind the bar and crawled towards the door that led down stairs. As soon as she was in the clear, she stood up and walked down the stairs. She had to hurry. She didn’t have much time.

 

_It was dark where Skye was at. Darkness was good. Darkness kept you hidden which is exactly what she needed to be during a game of hide and seek. It was a Saturday morning. Saturday’s were Skye’s favorite day. Ever since she left the orphanage and came to live with her new foster mommy and daddy._

_She loved her new foster mommy and daddy. She hoped they would become her forever family. She was young enough. She wasn’t a baby, but she wasn’t quite an official big girl yet. She was five. In her experience at the orphanage, five was a pretty good age to be when it came to getting adopted. She was still cute, she didn’t wear a diaper, she knew how to speak, and she didn’t drool like a baby. Yep, she was definitely the perfect age to get adopted and she had a good feeling that this family would become her forever family. She remained extremely still in her hiding spot for fear that the slightest movement would give away her location. The phone rang, causing her to jump slightly._

 

Everything felt heavy as Skye headed into the lab. She didn’t have much time so she quickly headed to where Fitz kept all the spare parts. When she was town hoping with Trip, things tended to get boring. Especially if they stayed for a couple of days to gather supplies. So when she wasn’t busy borrowing people’s wallets, she went to the library. Mainly for the free internet.

 

She tended to search for and study different devices. You never know when one could become useful. One of the devices she studied and even attempted build was like an EMP except it specifically targeted computer systems and hard drives. She had never been successful, mainly due to lack of parts she needed. But she was confident Fitz had what she needed, or at least parts she could use in improvisation, she could successfully build one and cause a big enough distraction to allow Coulson, Ward, and May to get the upper hand. At least that is what she was hoping. She sucked at being optimistic, but she was trying.

 

_Skye wasn’t sure how long she was hiding in the kitchen pantry, but she was sure that she would definitely be winning this game. She was bouncing with excitement. Whenever she won at hide and seek, which was quite often ‘cause she was really, really good, Mary, her new foster mommy soon to be forever mommy Skye was sure of it, would take her out for ice cream! She was the bestest. Derek, her new foster daddy, was always working so he couldn’t come but he always seemed excited for her. He would ask what she got. It was usually the same, chocolate with rainbow sprinkles, and every time he would tell her she should try the bubble gum next time. He said it had actual bubble gum pieces in it._

_This time she would get bubble gum so he would be extra happy. Maybe so happy that he will tell Mary today that they should adopt Skye. Then she would be their forever daughter. Yes, Skye could just imagine it and she couldn’t wait. She was tempted to announce her presence so Mary could go ahead and take her to get ice cream. Just as she was about to stand up, she saw movement under the crack of the pantry door. The door swung open and the light from the kitchen filled the kitchen._

It didn’t take her long to find the parts. Once she had them, she headed into the server room and began to piece the device together. It wasn’t going to be perfect and it probably won’t work like it should, but being next to the heart of the planes communication and computer system would definitely help.

 

She wasn’t sure how much time passed before she heard voices in the distance. The device was almost done, she just needed a little more time. Quietly she shut the door to the server room. She had to finish this. The team was counting on her. She couldn’t let them down. If she did…they might all die. No, they would all die. Rebels were not merciful. She had to finish.

 

_Mary was staring at Skye sadly. Tears were streaming down her puffy cheeks. Skye stood up quickly. She knew exactly what to do to make Mary smile. She had been debating this for a while. She was planning on waiting until they told her she was going to stay with them forever, but Mary looked so sad and Skye hated it. “What’s wrong mommy?”_

_Mary let out a strangled sob and kneeled down. “Oh my beautiful little girl. Do you know how special you are?” Skye shook her head. No one has ever told her she was special. Not her previous foster homes and definitely not the nuns at St. Agnes. “Well you are. You are a very special girl. I want you to remember that.” Uh oh. Skye’s stomach dropped. This sounded like a goodbye. No. This couldn’t be a goodbye. Mary was her mommy now. She had to be, Skye just said so._

Skye’s head was pounding. She could hear blood pulsing through her ears. Tears welled up in her eyes. She quickly wiped them away. She wouldn’t give them the satisfaction of seeing her cry. If today was the day she was going to die, she sure as hell wasn’t going down without a fight. She would do everything within her power to stop these people. Not only for herself and the team, but for Trip as well. The idea of leaving him alone in this shitty world made her sick. So she would fight and hopefully that will be enough. It had to be enough.

 

The sound of shouting reached her ears. They were getting closer. It would be a matter of minutes before her hiding spot was discovered. She toyed with the tiny device in her hands, praying it would work. She didn’t have much time to put it together so there was a possibility it would fail. If it did…then it was over. She would be killed and so would the rest of the team. She may not be fond of some of them, but that didn’t mean she wanted them dead. She clutched the device tightly in her right hand when she heard the door of the server room open. They had found her.

 

_Mary cupped Skye’s cheek and forced the little girl to look at her. Mary gently stroked Skye’s cheek with the pad of her thumb. “Skye…listen to me.” Skye pulled away and looked at the floor. She didn’t like this. Gently, Mary cupped her face with both hands and forced her to look at her again. “Baby please. Listen to me. Are you listening?”_

_Slowly Skye nodded and whispered “I’m listening.”_

_“I want you to know that none of this was your fault, okay? Say it for me,” Mary demanded gently when the little girl just nodded._

_“None of this is my fault,” she whispered. Her tummy hurt. She didn’t want to do this. She didn’t even want ice cream anymore. She just wanted her forever mommy to hold her._

_“I’m so sorry baby,” Mary sobbed. “I wanted-” she broke off, searching for the words. “You are the best thing that ever happened to me. Do you remember what I told you when you left the orphanage with me?”_

_Skye nodded. “Say it back to me please.” Mary’s fingers stroked the back of Skye’s head soothingly._

_“You told me to be who I want to be, not who the nuns made me to be.” Mary nodded._

_“And then what?”_

_“You asked me if Mary Sue was my real name.” Skye muttered._

_“And it wasn’t. It was the name the nuns gave you.” Mary continued for her. “And you hated the name.”_

_“I hated the name for me. It’s a good name for you though, mommy,” Skye smiled, trying to be optimistic. Maybe this wasn’t goodbye. Mary was being nice._

_“And then I told you to choose your own name.”_

_“And I choose Skye!” she said excitedly._

_“And you choose Skye. Be Skye. Don’t let the nuns force you to go by a name that isn’t yours when you go back.”_

_Skye panicked and threw her arms around Mary’s neck. “Please, please, please!” she cried. “I don’t want to go back. I want you to be my forever mommy. I’ve been good!”_

_“I know baby. I want to be your forever mommy too, but I can’t. And I promise it isn’t your fault.” She whispered as she rubbed the girls back soothingly._

_“Please don’t send me back,” Skye sobbed._

She felt a large hand grip her bicep tightly and jerk her up. A sharp pain shot down her arm. She struggled against his grip but he paid it no mind. He just continued to pull her. They stopped in the middle of the room and he began speaking to another man in Spanish. Momentarily she mentally kicked herself for not staying in school long enough to learn Spanish and thought that if she got through this, she would definitely learn it. Among others. Either way it didn’t take a genius to figure out what they were talking about. The guy that grabbed her said something while gesturing towards her. The other man just nodded before turning around and began speaking to the other rebels. They were all close enough. That was the first piece of good news of the day. She watched as the other guy reached for his gun. It was now or never.

 

She closed her eyes and activated the device. All the electronics in the room blew, causing everything to shake violently. Sparks flew everywhere as the machinery committed suicide. Skye lost her balance at the force of the eruptions. She crawled behind the desk she was just pulled from, curled in a ball, covered her ears, and squeezed her eyes shut.

 

Even with her hands covering her ears, she could hear the fighting and gun fire happening 20 feet from her. She was silently pray that that meant Coulson, May, and Ward had gotten the advantage during her distraction.

 

 _Mary pulled back. She kissed Skye’s cheek and smile at her._   _"It’s okay. Don’t be afraid, Skye, don’t be afraid. I need you to remember what I said to you, okay? Remember everything. You are who_ ** _you_** _choose to be. You have your entire life ahead of you. You have so much potential. You could be magnificent. You_ ** _will be_** _magnificent. Be who you were meant to be and don’t ever let anyone try to crush you. You will find a family that will love you unconditionally. I’m sorry it wasn’t me. I wanted it to be, but I just can’t do this. I’m sorry. Don’t blame yourself and know that I do love you.”_

_Skye nodded dejectedly. Mary stood up, tucked a piece of hair behind Skye’s ear, and told her to sit down. “Cover your ears sweetheart.” She quickly did what she was told. Mary shut the pantry door, leaving her alone in the darkness. Suddenly she didn’t like the darkness. She didn’t want to be hidden anymore._

_She closed her eyes and imagined being in the light. She was doing what she was told, so maybe Mary will change her mind. She imagined herself on the beach, playing in the water with Mary and Derek. They were happy. Skye wanted to be happy. Maybe if she told Mary that they could be, she would listen._

_She stood up, her hand was on the door knob with the loud bang cracked through the air. She screamed and winced. Her hands flew to her ears and she fell to her knees. She was shaking in terror. She didn’t want to move. She was too afraid to move, but she needed to go check on Mary._

_She was about to stand up when she felt it. It was wet and warm and slipping through the crack of the door. She let out a sigh of relief. Obviously a pipe burst in the kitchen. That was the bang she heard. Her heart rate calmed a bit. She stood quickly and opened the door._

_“Mommy! A pipe-” Skye cut off when she took in the sight before her. A sight that would forever haunt her. “Mommy?” she whispered brokenly. Mary was lying on the floor near the kitchen counter, a gun in her right hand and blood was slowly flowing from a wound in her head._

_Skye looked down. Her legs were covered in blood. Her stomach churned. She took one step forward with the mind set to get to the bathroom when she slipped. Her knees splashed in the blood and her hands instinctively shot out to keep her from falling further. On her hands and knees in her mommy’s blood, she threw up._

_Whenever she got sick at the orphanage, she had to tell the nuns. Who was she supposed to tell now? She was in a home that was no longer hers, her mommy dead, and covered in blood. She was all alone._

_After a moment, she stood up and walked across the kitchen. She grabbed the phone from the wall and dialed the three-digit number that had been drilled into her head._

_“…911 what’s your emergency?”_

_“My mommy killed herself…”_

 

“Skye…Skye…Skye!!” Skye’s eyes snapped open. Ward was kneeling in front of her, his hands gripping her arms gently. “It’s okay,” he said soothingly. “It’s over.” She nodded frantically.

 

“It’s over? Is the team okay?” Ward gave her a small, reassuring smile.

 

“Yes. You did it.” Her eyes welled up with tears and before she could stop herself, she threw her arms around Ward’s neck. He froze for a moment before slowly wrapping her arms around her. She was shaking in his arms. “It’s okay,” Ward whispered “Everyone is safe. The rebels are tied up and in the cage. May is re-routing us to the Hub where they will be dealt with.”

 

“Can they break out of the cage?” she asked nervously.

 

“No. It’s secure. They won’t hurt us. They won’t hurt  _you._ ” Skye pulled back and looked at Ward. She nodded in understanding and shifted so she was sitting with her back pressed against the desk.

 

“Where is everyone else?” Skye asked after a moment.

 

“FitzSimmons are in the lab checking on the 084, Coulson is preparing the incident reports that need to be filled out, and May is in the cockpit.”

 

Skye nodded numbly. She was hearing the words but she wasn’t really understanding. Her body buzzed and her mind swirled. She was pretty sure she was going into shock. “I guess being in traumatic situations still have an effect on me,” she mumbled absentmindedly. Then she laughed humorlessly. “Which kind of sucks. I was hoping that after everything I had been through growing up, I’d be tough enough to experience trauma and not become a cripple afterwards.”

 

“Hey,” he whispered soothingly. He took one of her hands in his. He stroked the back of her hand with his thumb. “You just faced down a group of ruthless rebels. Your only means of attack was this little device that you built in under five minutes,” he said as he reached for the device. Skye didn’t even realize she had dropped it when she ducked. “You gave Coulson, May, and I the distraction we needed to get the upper hand. You saved the team all while staring down the barrel of a gun. It was an intense and traumatizing situation. Don’t beat yourself up. It’s okay to be vulnerable sometimes.”

 

Skye didn’t say anything. She didn’t really know what to say. Instead, she just stared at the floor hoping that she wasn’t about to cry. “What do you need?” Ward asked gently.

 

“Just…sit with me?” It came out more of a question than a statement. Skye was never one to show vulnerability, but it was hard to keep them hidden after rebels take you hostage and point guns at you.

 

He nodded and shifted so he was sitting next to her. She rested her head on his shoulder as soon as he was situated. He hesitantly put his arm around her shoulder, to which she eagerly grabbed his hand. The two sat in silence until FitzSimmons came looking for them.

 

…

 

Skye was sitting at the booth table set up next to her bunk. She was staring at the glass of Scotch Ward had given her before going to fill out a report on what happened today. They were only a few minutes from landing. She argued that he could wait. She wouldn’t admit this, but he made her feel safe. Something she needed at the moment. It was the robot assassin thing. She still didn’t like the guy.

 

“I know you aren’t old enough to drink that,” Coulson said walking up to her. She turned to look at him. He was holding some sort of packet, probably the incident report Ward was being so anal about.

 

“Well I don’t have any parents to ground me so…” she shrugged. “Plus, I’ve had a tough day.”

 

“Yeah well alcohol isn’t the answer you need,” he replied, slipping in the booth, taking the glass, and drinking it.

 

“I thought you said that wasn’t the answer.” She smirked.

 

“For you,” he corrected. “Never said anything about me.” Skye just rolled her eyes. Coulson set the packet face down and to the side. She eyed it warily, curious as to what it was. Coulson reached into his pocket and pulled the device she made out. “This is impressive. You completely destroyed our system with this and it took you less than five minutes to make using spare parts from the lab.”

 

Skye shrugged. “It wasn’t that hard.”

 

“In the situation you were in? It was harder than you think. If you can do  _this_  in five minutes…” he trailed off. “You have a lot of potential Skye. And I fear that it was over looked because you, unfortunately, were one of the unlucky kids that slipped through the cracks of the system.”

 

“I don’t recall telling you I was an orphan,” she muttered avoiding eye contact.

 

“It wasn’t hard to piece together,” he replied. “How old were you? When you ran away?”

 

She hesitated for a moment, not sure if she wanted to answer. After a moment, she finally replied “14…I ran away from my last foster family when I was 14. Never looked back.”

 

“I want to help you Skye. When everything with Vincent, Marks, Killian, and Castillo is wrapped up and you are safe to return to your life, I want you to be able to do so with a better chance than the one you had when we picked you up.” Before she could comment further, he handed her the packet.

 

“I have to write up an incident report too?” she groaned. “I’m not even an agent.”

 

“That isn’t an incident report,” he replied. Skye studied him suspiciously before looking at what he handed her. She didn’t have to get further than the first two words.

 

_Aptitude Test._

 

“Are you kidding me?” she gawked at him. Coulson just shrugged.

 

“Nope,” he popped the ‘p’. “I brought you on to keep you safe. I stand by that. But you are 17. You have your entire life ahead of you, but you won’t get very far being a drop out. This test will tell us where you are in the basic subjects. Once Simmons checks this against the answer key, we will know where you are at and where we need to tutor you.”

 

“You know I won’t get very far if I’m killed by a gang of rebels either.” Coulson did not look amused at her comment.

 

He smiled while handing her a pencil. “The answer booklet and some loose leaf paper for essay questions have been attached. Have fun.” Coulson got up and headed to his office.

 

Skye groaned, laid her head on the table, and muttered “Freaking school, kill me now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay! First I want to say I am terribly sorry for the long wait. For those of you I couldn’t reply to or who don’t follow me on Tumblr, my sister was in a bad wreck a few weeks ago and I didn’t have a lot of free time to write. She is doing better now, but things got crazy.
> 
> Second, a friend of mine pointed out a plot hole last chapter. It didn’t make a lot of sense that Fury didn’t try to call Coulson and May about their covers being blown. That has been fixed with the simple line of they unplugged all electronics to enjoy family day.
> 
> Third, many thanks to Peter for encouraging me to write and proof reading this for me. Peter gave me the idea of Skye hacking into shield and that whole scene.  
> P.S. I obviously lied about the flashbacks. I wasn't planning one, it just happened, and it killed me to write it.
> 
> I hope everyone enjoyed. I’d love to hear your thoughts. Until next time!
> 
> Follow me on Tumblr. Same username!


	4. Broken Dreams

_“Life's funny. You have to find a way to keep going, to keep laughing, even after you realize that none of your dreams will come true. When you realize that, there's still so much of a life to get through.”_

_― Claire Messud, The Woman Upstairs_

* * *

 

Skye groaned and buried her head under her pillow, hoping that that would be enough to make the person poking her go away. She just wanted to sleep. Was that too much to ask? Obviously it was, because the person didn’t go away. She grumbled and sat up. “What?” she complained. She drew out the word longer than necessary and it ended up sounding more like a whine than an annoyed question.

 

She attempted to push her hair out of her face several times to see who was pulling her from her nap. After a few tries she huffed and gave up. It was no use.  It was probably a bird’s nest by now. It didn’t matter how long she slept or what she did to her hair before she went to sleep, the moment her head touched a pillow, it’s like her hair shapeshifted into a bird’s nest. It was like a superpower. A very unwanted superpower.

 

“Sorry,” Simmons said sheepishly. “We're at The Hub and Coulson, May, and Ward are in a meeting with director Fury. He wanted us to come find you.”

 

“Come find me? And do what? Babysit me? Make sure I don’t get into mischief while at the super-secret spy base? I can guarantee you that if you hadn’t woken me up just now, I would have slept until tomorrow. Can’t get into mischief if I’m sleeping. Fortunately, I can fall back asleep quite easily so if you could just shut my bunk, I’ll be on my way back into unconsciousness. And I will even tell Coulson what fun we had hanging out.”

 

FitzSimmons shared a look. “It’s not that we don’t trust you,” Simmons began.

 

“It’s really not,” Fitz continued. “It’s just that-”

 

“Coulson gave us orders-”

 

“And we don’t really want to break them-”

 

“Plus we could have fun hanging out-”

 

“And getting to know each other-”

 

“And it’s probably not the best idea to be alone right now-”

 

“Especially after the traumatic event that just happened-”

 

“So if you could just come with us-”

 

“That would be great,” they finished together. Skye stared at the pair for a moment. Her eyes had drifted back and forth between Fitz and Simmons during the speech. After a few seconds of silence, she cracked a smile.

 

“You two do realize that-”

 

“We finish each other’s sentences, yes bad habit, sorry…” Simmons said sheepishly. “Does that mean you will come with us??” She smiled brightly. Skye glanced at Fitz. He had picked up the test Coulson had given her. She haphazardly thrown it in the corner when she entered her bunk a few hours ago. He looked from the test to her and smiled brightly.

 

“Fine,” she muttered. She threw her covers off of her and grabbed the test from Fitz. After making a quick stop in the bathroom where she fixed her hair and splashed some water on her face, she followed FitzSimmons off of the bus and through The Hub.

 

The Hub was exactly what Skye pictured when she thought of a top secret government base. It was massive, high-tech, and agents were everywhere. Skye looked down at her clothes before looking at all of the agents walking around the Hub. She was definitely an odd ball out. Everyone was wearing suits made of dark colors and here she was in a pink, knee length dress and white boots.

 

The similar dark clothes definitely fit the dull and boring stereotype she had in her mind about government agents. They could all use some color in their lives. Skye didn’t even realize she had stopped until Simmons called her name. Apparently she couldn’t walk and be judgmental at the same time.

 

“Come on!” she said slightly impatient. “Don’t want you to get lost. Coulson would be extremely unhappy.”

 

“Yeah,” she scoffed. “Because then I will be on my own, causing all sorts of disruptions.” Simmons just rolled her eyes and continued walking. Fitz kept up with Simmons’ pace. “Where are we even going?” Skye asked as she followed behind the two. They navigated through The Hub with ease.

 

“To the lab,” Fitz answered excitedly. Skye was sure she saw him skip a little.

 

“Yes it’s kind of like the one on the bus except bigger,” Simmons explained. She looked back at Skye and smiled. Eagerness was clear in her eyes. They both looked like kids heading to a candy shop.

 

“A lot bigger. And it has all of the latest and greatest in all the gadgets.” Skye smiled. FitzSimmons were practically vibrating.

 

“You guys are adorable,” she said. “And I’m happy you both get to play with all of these new “gadgets”, but what am I supposed to do? I’m not good with just sitting around and doing nothing. And you know what they say about idle hands.”

 

“Coulson told us to make sure to grab the test he gave you and to make sure you actually complete it.” Fitz said. Skye rolled her eyes and muttered profanities under her breath.

 

“He’s so determined to make me take this test that he’s assigned you two to babysit me until I finished? Really? Why?” She crossed her arms over her chest. She gripped the test in her right hand even more tightly.

 

The trio rounded the corner and ended up in an almost vacant hallway. Simmons turned and grabbed her left hand. “He cares about you Skye,” she explained gently. “You should have seen him when you snuck off to blow the servers. His eyes were full of worry and panic. And when the rebels noticed you were missing and went after you… for a second I thought he wasn’t going to wait for whatever distraction you had planned. If it hadn’t been for May, I was sure he was going to jump up and fight the rebels before they could leave.”

 

Skye sighed and pulled her hand out of Jemma’s grasp, suddenly uncomfortable at the contact. She ran her now free hand through her hair. “I just don’t understand why. He barely knows me. I haven’t even known him a week. I just don’t get it. Why me of all people?”

 

Simmons smiled gently at her. “I don’t know a lot about your past Skye, but it's clear that somewhere along the way, you became convinced that you don’t deserve to be cared for. Now I am going to tell you this once and only once. You do deserve to be cared for and you deserve to be happy. Coulson saw an opportunity to help you not only learn that, but to also have a better chance in life than the one you were given.”

 

Skye shifted uncomfortably. She wasn’t okay with this conversation. She never liked sappy conversations like this. She’d been a part of more than her fair share with almost every foster family that sent her back to the orphanage. They were all the same. ‘You’ll find the family you were meant to be with soon’, ‘you’ll be happy one day’, ‘you deserve better’, and her all-time favorite ‘It’s not you, it’s us’. She had heard it all and she would be perfectly happy never having this conversation again.

 

Instead of replying to Simmons, she just pulled her into a hug. Hugs were a good conversation ender and she used them to her advantage. She hated hugs, honestly she wasn’t a fan most physical contact, but she especially hated hugs. But the one thing she hated more were sentimental conversations, so she chose the lesser of two evils.

 

Fitz cleared his throat. “Are you two done being sappy? Because we’re almost at the lab.” He said impatiently.

 

“Oh Fitz,” Simmons rolled her eyes. She smiled once more at Skye before the trio continued to the lab. Skye could see why FitzSimmons were so excited. The lab was pretty big, about four times bigger than the one on the bus, and there were many different pieces of equipment and various devices all over the place. She could get into some serious trouble in a place like this.

 

“Wow…this place is huge,” she breathed, looking around. She probably looked like a kid in a candy shop at this point. “You know I didn’t think I would actually be in a SHIELD facility. At least not this soon.”

 

“I know right?” Fitz replied. “Some of SHIELD’s best inventions came from this room. Out of all of the SHIELD bases, the Hub has the best lab. It’s awesome.”

 

“One of the coolest things is that the glass walls are virtually unbreachable. Both in and out!” Simmons added.

 

“Both in and out?” Skye wondered out loud.

 

“Yes, see that red button on the wall over there.” Simmons pointed to the wall farthest right. Skye nodded. It was hard to miss that button. “If there is ever a chemical spill or anything of that nature, you can press that button and it will seal all vents, entrances, and exists to prevent any harmful substance from getting out. Even if it’s air born!”

 

“Does that happen a lot?” Skye looked back at FitzSimmons. “Accidents causing the entire lab to basically be turned into a quarantine site?”

 

They looked at each other before looking at Skye. “Not really,” they answered with a shrug.

 

“But it’s nice to have the option.” Fitz added. Skye just nodded slowly and looked around the lab again.

 

“Is that the 084?” She pointed to where several scientists surrounded one of the empty tables.

 

“Yes. They came to grab it as soon as we landed. Since this lab has more resources available, they will work on trying to figure out what it does. We are going to help while we are here.” Simmons explained.

 

“Really?” Skye asked excitedly.

 

“Well, we as in, Simmons and I. You are going to go to the break room and make that test.”

 

“Oh my god,” she groaned. “Fine, let’s get this over with so I can stop being reminded about this stupid test. Where is the break room?” FitzSimmons simultaneously pointed at a closed door directly across from the lab entrance.

 

“There are vending machines if you get hungry or thirsty,” Simmons gave her a gentle, encouraging push. “I’m sure you’ll do fine. There should also be a pencil holder in the middle of the table in there. It should also be fully stocked.”

 

Skye raised an eyebrow. “You keep a fully stocked pencil holder in the breakroom?”

 

“Of course,” Fitz scoffed. “And some loose leaf paper. You never know when inspiration will hit.”

 

“Right,” she muttered sarcastically. “Guess I’ll see you later.” Skye walked across the hall and entered the breakroom. Thankfully no one was in there. She preferred to be alone in her misery. She sat in one of the chairs, grabbed a pencil, and flipped the test open. “Let’s get this crap over with,” she muttered to herself before reading the first question.

 

…

 

“Every server?” Hand asked in disbelief.

 

“Every one,” Coulson confirmed. Seeing the disbelief clearly displayed on Victoria Hand's face was a rare occurrence. There wasn’t much that baffled her.

 

“The entire system?” Hand continued.

 

“The entire system,” May repeated.

 

“With this,” she held up the device Skye built. “little thing that she put together in less than five minutes, while under pressure of being killed by ruthless rebels.”

 

“Yep,” Ward answered.

 

Hand just stared at the device in her hand for a moment. Silence settled around the agents in the briefing room as they waited for her to say something. Coulson shifted nervously. He tried to remain still and to appear calm but he was anything but. Skye had saved the team but in order to do that, she completely fried the system. It would take millions to replace everything. Fury wasn’t here yet, but Coulson could practically feel the rage coming off of his former S.O. already.

 

A loud laugh snapped Coulson out of his panicky thoughts. His eyes shifted to Hand who was almost clutched over laughing. A look of confusion settled on his face. He looked at May and Ward. They shared the same confused look that he had. Before anyone could say anything, a gruff voice broke through. “Glad you think this is so funny Agent Hand,” Fury walked in the room.

 

“Oh come on Nick,” Hand laughed. “You can’t deny that this girl is good. She kind of managed to do the impossible and save some of your top agents. And with no training what-so-ever! She is definitely a one of a kind”

 

“I guess I don’t have the same sense of humor you do,” he replied sarcastically. “I just got the report from the technicians. It’s going to take the better part of the day to fix everything. Where are the rebels?”

 

“In holding,” Hand replied. “So far they aren’t talking.”

 

“Of course they aren’t. And the 084?”

 

“It’s in the lab being studied. FitzSimmons assured me that with the resources here, they should have some answers before we take off.” Coulson explained.

 

“And the girl?” Fury’s eyes cut to Coulson. He just smiled in return.

 

“She’s with FitzSimmons taking an aptitude test.”

 

“Aptitude test?” Fury echoed.

 

“Yes,” Coulson confirmed. “We brought her on to protect her but once the threat is gone, I’d like for her to have a better chance in life. She’s extremely intelligent, that much we know. She is capable of amazing things, but she’s had an unfortunate childhood and was never properly encouraged.”

 

“Are you sure that’s a good idea Coulson?” Fury rested his hands on his hips and gave Coulson a firm look. “I mean who is to say that she won’t use that chance to try something? This girl has no regard what-so-ever for anyone or anything. She’s broken multiple laws and has cost this organizations millions already and it’s been less than a week. There is such a thing of being too skilled in something. That girl has too much skill in all things computer related and in the hands of someone that young can be dangerous.”

 

Coulson shook his head. “Skye is…” he broke off, trying to think of the perfect word to describe her. “Good.” He said finally. “She’s good. She just needs help. She won’t outright ask for it, but I know. With a little encouragement and guidance, I think she will choose the right path.”

 

“I hope you’re right Coulson.” Fury sighed.

 

“I am.” He responded confidentially.

 

“Ma’am?” one of the agents called from the doorway. Hand turned away from Fury and Coulson and walked towards the agent. “Agents Peterson and Harris are in position and waiting for your orders.”

 

“Alright.” She turned toward her colleagues. “If you’ll excuse us…”

 

“Of course,” Fury said. Coulson was facing Hand so he didn’t see the look Fury and May shared or the small nod May was giving him. Fury left without another word.

 

“I’m going to work out,” May said simple. She left without waiting for a reply. Coulson looked at Ward.

 

“Agent Ward would you check on FitzSimmons and Skye?”

 

“Yes sir,” he turned to leave but was stopped when Coulson continued.

  
“And keep an eye on Skye please. She might develop PTSD but knowing her, if she did, she wouldn’t let us know.”

 

“Yes sir.”

 

Once Ward was gone, Coulson entered the adjacent situation room and turned towards Hand. “Would you mind if I sit in?”

 

“Sure,” she shrugged, and then turned to her agents. “Give Peterson and Harris the go ahead.” She stood in the middle isle, arms crossed, watching the mission on the screen. Coulson stepped up next to her. For a moment the two senior agents were silent. “I agree with you, you know.” she said finally.

 

“You do?” he asked slightly surprised. Hand just laughed. “I have to admit, I’m a little surprised.”

 

“Why?” She glanced at him briefly.

 

“Because you are kind of anal, especially when it comes to SHIELD and following protocol.”

 

She just shrugged. “Well Skye’s a breath of fresh air. And it isn’t her fault that the system failed her. I believe with the help you’re offering; she will be okay. Better than okay.”

 

“Thank you,” he smiled at her sincerely. “Fury just doesn’t get that she didn’t chose this road and everything she did, she did to survive and she did out of love for her brother.”

 

“Yeah, well Fury’s an ass and I fully believe he’s wrong in this case. So no matter what happens, you can count on my support with Skye.” The two fell into an easy silence as they watched the mission progress on screen. Coulson was more grateful than he let on for Hand’s support. Ever since he suggested bringing Skye on the bus, he felt like he received nothing but disproval from all sides. It was frustrating. He understood why everyone was hesitant, but what he didn’t understand was how no one saw just how lost and scared she was.

 

“It was actually kind of endearing,” Hand started again.

 

“What was?”

 

“The way you defended her. You’ve been doing it since you met her. You’re like an over-protective father-” she broke off and stared at him wide eyed. “Shit Phil, I’m sorry.”

 

Coulson shuffled awkwardly. “Its fine,” he muttered but he didn’t look at her.

 

“No it’s not. That was insensitive and I shouldn’t have said it. I wasn’t thinking. I’m sorry.” He nodded. Hand was one of the few agents that knew about his daughter. After his baby girl disappeared and Melinda shut him out, the fact that Victoria knew caused her to become one of the few people he could talk to. She saw him at his lowest and helped him back up every time. “Do you want to talk about it? I know we haven’t talked much lately, but I’m still here for you. Whatever you need.” She assured.

 

“I’d like too,” he said honestly. “Maybe when we aren’t in a room with 15 pairs of ears.”

 

“Fair point,” she laughed.

 

“I’m going to go check on my team. But thank you, Victoria. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

 

“Well luckily you won’t have to find out.” Coulson nodded with a smile and turned to leave. As he got to the door, he heard one of the agents say ‘there’s a problem’. He continued walking. If there was one thing he was sure of, it was that Victoria Hand knew how to handle her agents.

 

It didn’t take long for Coulson to reach Ward and FitzSimmons. Mostly because they were on their way towards him.

 

“What’s wrong?” he asked immediately. FitzSimmons shuffled nervously. Ward just looked annoyed.

 

“Well, you see sir-” Simmons began.

 

“We got Skye from the plane-” Fitz cut in.

 

“And brought her here-”

 

“With the test-”

 

“And put her in the break room to take the test-”

 

“We went to work on the 084-”

 

“And we were so busy-”

 

“That we didn’t notice Skye sneak out of the break room-”

 

“We’re so sorry sir,” the scientist finished together. Coulson sighed and rolled his eyes.

 

“About how long since she snuck off?”

 

“15 minutes. Maybe 20.” Simmons answered. Ward handed Coulson the test.

 

“She left that. Looks like she completed it and then got bored. Naturally instead of going to FitzSimmons, she decided to make her own fun. Good news is, it won’t take long to find her.”

 

Coulson couldn’t disagree with him there. The Hub was an extremely secure facility. Almost every room and hallway required a photo idea and a certain agent level to get into. It wouldn’t take long for her to try and get into a restricted area and get caught.

 

“She actually finished it already? I’m a little surprised.”

 

“Unfortunately sir, there is a chance that she just guessed. She couldn’t have been in the breakroom long before she snuck out and it’s impossible to fully read and work through all 100 questions and answer multiple essay questions in that time. I’ll still look over the answers if you’d like.” Simmons stuck out her hand for the test. Coulson handed it to her with a sigh.

 

“Thank you Simmons. Why don’t you and Fitz head back to the lab. Ward and I will go find Skye and when the plane is ready, I will let you know.”

 

FitzSimmons nodded and headed back to the lab. Coulson massaged his temple. “You okay sir?”

 

“Yeah. I was just hoping this would be easier than it’s turning out to be. Fury is not a big supporter of what I’m trying to do with Skye. She saved us on the bus, but in order to do so, she cost SHIELD a lot of money. The last thing we need is for her to get into a situation.” Coulson’s worry was evident; his shoulders were tense. The two agents began walking.

 

“Skye’s a wild card sir, it will take more than a couple of days to get through to her completely and break the bad habits she’s developed in order to survive. To her, she’s still fighting to live. She doesn’t feel safe enough to stop fighting no matter how much she seems like she’s opening up. But honestly sir, no matter how long the road is, it will be worth it.” Coulson stopped and looked at Ward in surprise. “What is it sir?” he turned to look behind him before looking back at Coulson.

 

“Nothing, I’m just surprised to hear you defending Skye.”

 

Ward just shrugged. “I don’t approve of her tactics and she’s a major pain in the ass, but you are right sir. She just needs help.”

 

Coulson smiled softly. “Yes she does. Let’s go find her before we lose that chance.”

 

…

 

Skye was baffled by how bad SHIELD’s security was. Terrible computer security was slightly understandable. Slightly. Government agencies and computer security just don't go well together. But the terrible security measures in one of, what Skye was assuming, SHIELD's biggest bases was inexcusable. Almost every hallway and room required an ID badge and some were even restricted to higher level agents only. In theory it was a good system, but whoever actually set it up didn't take their job seriously. It was a matter of minutes before Skye figured out how to hack the keypads using her phone. So she pretty much had free rein of The Hub.

 

Her first thought when she got pass the terrible security was how long would it be until someone caught her. Apparently even that wasn’t an issue. Here she was, walking around restricted hallways wearing a colorful dress and looking like a hippy, and not one agent so much as raised an eyebrow. At this point, she supposed she shouldn’t even be surprised. They probably just assumed that if she was in the hallway meant for level 7 agents or higher, then obviously she was supposed to be there. SHIELD security and training were turning into a joke.

 

Coulson was going to be pissed and she could already imagine the smoke coming out of Ward’s ears. Sure, they had a couple of nice moments on the bus, but she was positive all of that would be for nothing when they realize that she slipped away. But who could blame her? After finishing that joke of a test Coulson gave her, she was bored. And to be fair, she did warn FitzSimmons. Idle hands are the devil’s playground.

 

She had just hacked her fourth (or was it the fifth?) key pad when her phone began buzzing. “What’s up Phil?” she answered.

 

“Skye,” she could hear him let out a sigh of relief. She also heard Ward ask ‘where is she?’ in the background. “Skye where are you?” he repeated Ward’s question.

 

“Um…hallway H I believe,” she answered nonchalantly. She continued walking down the hallway and looking at the different rooms. It was convenient, for her at least, that the walls were mostly made of glass.

 

Coulson paused for a second before echoing “Hallway H?”

 

“Yep,” she said. She popped the ‘p’ for emphasis.

 

“That’s impossible. You’d need to be a level 7 agent and have an ID badge to get into that hallway.” Skye rolled her eyes.

 

“Or a phone and some IQ points. I hate to tell you Phil, but the keypads were unbelievable easy to hack.” Skye stopped at two double glass doors and peered into the room they led to. There was a lot of commotion going on. There were at least a dozen agents stationed at computers. Some were typing furiously, some were yelling, but they were definitely all panicking. There was a woman standing in the isles separating the agents. She was talking and gesturing with her hands. Finally, Skye looked at the display on the screens at the front of the room. “Oh shit. I gotta go Phil.”

 

“Skye don’t han-”

 

She hung up before he finished and hacked into the key pad quickly. As soon as she opened one of the doors, she heard one of the agents say “Cut the red wire.”

 

“No!” she yelled quickly. Every pair of eyes was on her. “Do not cut the red wire. The wires are a red-herring. If he cuts them, he will die.” The woman in the middle of the room looked at her curiously.

 

“We don’t have time for this Agent Hand. There is less than five minutes left.” The red wire agent argued.

 

“And you’re going to get him killed in less than a minute if you don’t listen to me, and believe me, you should listen to me, considering I hacked into this room with my phone. This isn’t some bomb slapped together in the backwoods with tape and sticks. He is dealing with an Atomic bomb; one that was professionally made from the looks of it. There are multiple steps in dismantling it.”

 

Skye looked at the woman behind her. She seemed to be the person in charge. She had a look of recognition on her face. She gave Skye a small smile and nodded. Skye looked back at the screen. “Can he hear me?”

 

“I can hear you,” Agent Peterson replied gruffly. “I sure hope you know what to do lady, because this is getting a little close for me.”

 

“Okay, first you need to disconnect the wires from the timer, carefully.” Skye watched as the agent gently pulled the red and blue wire from where they were connected to the timer.

 

“Okay, what next?”

 

“Do you see a small disk or ball?” The agent shifted the bomb slowly.

 

“Yes.”

 

“Okay, that is the neutron trigger. Remove it slowly.”

 

“Okay, it's removed. What is the next step?” Agent Peterson asked as he set the neutron trigger to the side.

 

“You removed the neutron trigger, which means it can't go Hiroshima. But it can still detonate. Do you see that large, grey box?” Agent Peterson nodded. “Okay, that’s the conventional explosive. This bomb isn’t government made so there is a possibility that it will not be stable. Keep a steady hand.”

 

“Sure. That’s no problem.” He laughed nervously.

 

“You’re doing great Mike,” the woman in charge said. Skye heard her move closer until she stopped right next to her.

 

“Alright that’s done. Please tell me we are getting close. There is less than two minutes left.”

 

“We are, and relax. Without the explosives, it can't go off at all.  The last thing you need to do is separate the U-235 masses. The masses are two small chunks of metal. Be careful, they are heavier than they look. It's weapons grade uranium, after all. If they get too close, they will flood the area with radiation, and you will die. Keep them apart and they're harmless.”

 

“Okay,” he replied and quickly did what Skye instructed. The entire room was frozen, everyone quietly watched as he separated the masses. “Done!” He exclaimed. The entire room broke out into cheers.

 

“How the hell did you know that?” red wire agent asked.

 

Skye just shrugged. “I read a lot.”

 

Before anyone else could say something, a loud voice erupted in the room. “What the hell is going on here?” Skye turned to look at the source. She immediately recognized him as Nick Fury. How could she not? She had read up plenty on the man with an eye patch, the director of SHIELD. He looked pissed. May stood stiffly on his right.

 

“Just in time Nick,” the woman in charge greeted.

 

“In time for what?” he snapped, walking closer.

 

“To celebrate the success Agent Peterson and Agent Harris had on the mission. With the help of Skye here, they are even able to return in one piece.” Skye eyed the woman cautiously. “You see, as my Agents were leaving, they ran into a complication in the form of an Atomic bomb. Just as they were about to cut a wire, Skye burst in and stopped it. Good thing too because cutting either wire on the bomb would have caused it to detonate. With her help, they were able to dismantle the bomb successfully.”

 

Fury looked between Hand and Skye for a moment, unsure of what to say. “How the hell did she even get in here?” he asked. “I doubt you took the time to go find her in hopes that she knew what to do.”

 

“Oh, that one is easy,” Skye said. “SHIELD security is crap. I hacked the keypads at the entrance of all of the hallways I arrived at. With an app I built on my phone. It was unbelievable easy.”

 

Fury’s face twisted in anger. May just stared at her. The doors opened and Coulson and Ward ran in. “Crap,” Coulson let out a breath.

 

“My office. Now.” Fury snapped. He spun on his heal and stormed out.

 

“What did you do Skye?” Coulson asked.

 

“She saved the day,” Hand defended. “And I am happy to stand up for her to Fury. She just saved two of my agents and the surrounding countryside from getting blowing up.”

 

“Yes, but who knows how many rules she broke.” May argued.

 

“Maybe SHIELD needs that,” Hand fired back. “Because now we know how vulnerable our security system is and we can begin to fix it.”

 

“I don’t think Fury will see it that way.” May threw back at her. The two women glared at each other. Unresolved tension from the past hung in the air between the two.

 

“Then we will make him see it that way,” Coulson intervened. “He may be stubborn, but he knows an asset when he sees one. Come on, let’s go.” Skye followed him as he headed toward the door.

 

…

 

Fury set a small box on his desk and crossed his arms over his chest. “In all my years as both a SHIELD agent and as the director of SHIELD, I have never met someone with so little regard for anyone or anything. You have broken more rules in one day than I have in the years since I joined SHIELD.” He paused for a moment. The four other agents in the room shifted nervously. Skye however remained still as a stone, her eyes never left Fury. “I know Coulson is dead set on defending you. He says you are an asset and that you need to be protected. And I am sure that if I try to reassign you somewhere where you can’t destroy millions of dollars of equipment or hack into restricted rooms, he will no doubt put up a fight. So in order to avoid a headache and out of respect for Coulson, I won’t do that. But I will be require a compromise. In this box is a bracelet that will monitor your internet activity and any contact you have with any kind of electronic device. You get to stay with your team and I don’t have to constantly worry about you taking down SHIELD with a click of a button.”

 

Coulson was the first to react. “Sir, is the bracelet really necessary? It would severely restrict her.”

 

“Yeah Nick. Come on. The only thing this girl did was expose the flaws in our system. Now we can make it better.”

 

“This is not negotiable,” Fury stated firmly. “I don’t trust her. Who knows what she could have done with the access she had early.”

 

“You’re right,” Skye cut in causing everyone to freeze. “I had access to hallways that even Coulson himself didn’t have access too. I could have done a lot of damage. Just like before we picked up the 084, when I was familiarizing myself with the system. I could have taken down SHIELD so easily, and I’m not going to deny it. I am that good.”

 

“Thank you for admitting that,” Fury said sarcastically.

 

“You’re welcome,” she replied just as snarky. “But what you’ve failed to realize it that I had all that access and what did I do? I notified every one of the flaws in your online security, in the security of the base, and saved two agents from being blown up with, you know, and entire village of innocent people. I’m sorry if I was unorthodox in doing so, but honestly, I’m 17. I’m a kid. Would you have listened if I didn’t go through the lengths I did to get your attention?”

 

Fury uncrossed his arms and stared at Skye but he didn’t reply. “A kill electronics bracelet is kind of dramatic.” Ward spoke up. Everyone turned to look at him. “What about a tracking bracelet? That way Skye can still use her skill to help SHIELD and you will be able to keep an eye on her.”

 

Skye studied Ward, shock evident on her face. Hearing him defend her was definitely something she never thought she’d hear. She gave him a small smile when his eyes connected with hers. He returned it.

 

“I can also guarantee you that I will find a way to get the bracelet off.” Skye shrugged.

 

“What will stop you from doing the same with the kill electronics bracelet?” Fury asked.

 

“If it will keep that ridiculous overdramatic compromise off of me, I will promise on everything I hold dear, that the tracking bracelet will remain on me until you trust me enough.”

 

Fury let out an annoyed huff and looked at the others in the room. “Fine. The bus should be done soon. Hand, take her to get the bracelet. Coulson, get me an update on the 084. Everyone else is dismissed.” Fury sat behind his desk and massaged his temples to stave off a headache.

 

Skye followed Hand out of the room, but stopped before she got to the door. “Thanks for the backup,” she told Ward.

 

He shrugged nonchalantly. “I know an asset when I see one.” He replied.

 

“Guess you aren’t such a robot after all.” She rested the palm on his chest. “Wow, a heartbeat.” Ward rolled his eyes. Skye just laughed and left with Hand.

 

Once they were far enough away, Hand looked at Skye. “So how long before you spoof or take the bracelet off?”

 

Skye just smiled slyly.

 

…

 

“Sir,” Simmons said as soon as she saw Coulson enter the lab. May and Ward followed him closely. “I need to speak with you.” Her voice was laced with urgency.

 

“About the 084?” Coulson asked. “We were just coming to get an update for Director Fury.”

 

“No sir, I’m afraid we haven’t had much luck with the 084. We were running a test earlier and while we were waiting for the results, I looked over Skye’s test.”

 

“The one that she purposely screwed up?” May asked. Coulson shot her a look. “What? You know it’s true. She guessed on most of them.”

 

“If that is so, Agent May, this girl is the best guesser in the world.” Fitz commented.

 

Coulson looked at the two scientist. “What do you mean?”

 

“She got almost every answer right.” Simmons answered. “If I translated this admittedly limited test correctly, she'd be placed post-university. Skye is ridiculously advanced for her age.”

 

Silence settled amongst the agents as they digested what Simmons revealed. Coulson watched her closely, looking for any signs of a joke, all the while only one question passed through his head.

 

_What?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! I hope you liked the chapter. Many many thanks to my beta Peter for being so awesome.
> 
> I do need to point out that I don’t know the first thing about bombs lol. I googled ‘how to dismantle an Atomic bomb’ and what I wrote was the first thing that came up.
> 
> Thank you to everyone for your continued support and patience. I’d love to hear any thoughts or suggestions.
> 
> Follow me on Tumblr. Same username!


	5. Beautiful Mess

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I wanted to thank everyone who has taken the time to comment, favorite, and/or follow this story. You guys are the best. I try to reply to every review. Unfortunately Fanfiction does not allow me to reply to ‘Guest’ reviews so I found any questions asked by a guest reviewer, answered them, and posted them after the chapter.
> 
> Many many thanks to Peter for editing this, giving me some great ideas, and helping with some of the dialogue.
> 
> Warning: Mention of suicide

_“Because no matter what happens, you are going to get hurt in life. But it’s so much better to have jumped into the ocean and gotten stung by a jellyfish than to never have felt the salt water between your toes at all.”_

_― T.K. Leigh, A Beautiful Mess_

* * *

 

Coulson flipped through Skye’s test for the tenth time, his mind working overtime. Being an agent of SHIELD for as long as he had, he was rarely if ever surprised. Aliens, Demi Gods, and billionaires in flying metal suits were just a part of the job at this point.

 

But he could have never imagined that it would be a 17 year old girl that could pull that reaction from him. Yet here he was, studying her test in shock and a little bit of awe. It hadn’t even been a week since he first met her and it seemed that everything she did surprised him in some way.

 

A knock at his office door pulled him from his reverie. “Come in.” He called. He shut Skye’s test and set it down in the middle of his desk. Simmons slid his office door open and stepped in. In her hands was a much thicker booklet.

 

“Sir,” she addressed respectfully. “I finished making the test.”

 

Coulson held out his hand. She immediately placed the test in it. “This one will give you a more accurate score for her IQ?” he asked as he flipped the test open.

 

“Yes sir. The first test wasn't really designed for it. I could have given you my best guess, but that's all. This test also includes a more extensive aptitude test and a memory test."

 

“Thank you agent Simmons.” He opened the top drawer of his desk and placed the test there before closing it. “We have a new mission.” He added. “Director Fury has received word of a possible gifted in Grover Beach, California. I need you and Fitz to research telekinesis and let me know what you find.”

 

“Yes sir.” As Simmons slipped out of his office, he heard her greet May politely. He picked up Skye’s test and began flipping through it again.

 

“Are you going to just sit around and flip through that girl’s test?” May asked.

 

“Her name is Skye,” He replied. “And can you blame me? This is kind of remarkable. Especially coming from a kid who has had a rough go of it.”

 

“Phil, do you honestly think a girl like that is going to hang around once she gets word that she’s safe?”

 

He looked at her abruptly and slightly taken aback. “Okay, I understand you not being her biggest fan. You two are polar opposites, but May, she saved our lives. She’s opening up to me. She had a rough childhood. The system failed her badly and despite it all, she has the potential to change the world. Who knows, one day she could cure cancer or something.”

 

“Phil,” May scoffed. “Be realistic, she doesn’t care. She’s a trouble maker using her past as an excuse to act up. You’re lucky Fury didn’t decide to confine her to a little room until she was safe. I would have backed him up without hesitation.”

 

“How can you be so cruel?” he stood up and rounded the desk.

 

“I’m not cruel,” She snapped. “I’m just telling you the truth, even if you don’t want to hear it. She hacked the security system at The Hub for the fun of it. I feel like this has been said multiple times in the last day alone by several different people, but that girl has no regard for others at all.”

 

Coulson shook his head disbelievingly. “Look, I understand that you’ve been on edge, especially with-”

 

“Oh it’s not about that and don’t you dare bring it up!” May growled.

 

“Isn’t it? Two days from now will be-”

 

“I know what it will be Philip,” May’s calm demeanor was gone. Her face was red and pinched in anger. “I don’t need to be reminded. And I am telling you that this is _not_ about that. This is about me looking out for you.”

 

“Looking out for me?” He laughed. “That's hilarious considering how you all but ignored me for 17 years! I know you were suffering, but dammit, so was I! I admit that seeing you was a constant reminder of what we lost and I know it was the same thing for you, but I didn’t care because I loved you! Where was your concern then!?”

 

“Phil…” she said sadly.

 

“I got through it without you, as did you without me. You chose to turn your back on me. You gave up the right to look out for my wellbeing, so don’t you dare try to get in the middle of my relationship with Skye-”

 

“She’s not Daisy!” May exploded. Coulson’s face dropped and the color drained from his face. “You’re standing up for this girl that you barely know. Defending her like she’s your child and she isn’t! She isn’t your child. Daisy is gone, we will never see her again, and you can’t use Skye to replace her.”

 

A tense silence settled in the room. Coulson stared at May and May stared at the ground. Neither one of them moved to say anything. After a couple of minutes, May looked up at her ex-husband. Her eyes were filled with tears. She opened her mouth to say something but nothing came out. Instead, she turned and left his office.

 

…

 

Victoria Hand was an interesting woman. Skye sat in front of her desk, watching as she activated the tracking bracelet. It was obvious she had authority here. She had her own office and the agents in the situation room all seemed to wait for her command. Her suit was just as crisp, if not more so, as every other agent’s here. Her face had a kind of seriousness that Skye has seen in different forms of authority throughout her life, not to mention the frown lines.

 

Yet the pink streaks in her hair and her lack of fear when it came to standing up and mouthing off to Fury made her instantly likeable to Skye. Maybe, just maybe, not all SHIELD agents were uptight assholes.

 

“How long do you think Fury will make me wear this?” Skye pondered. She sat back in her chair and looked around Hand’s office.

 

“Knowing him, he will probably try for forever,” Hand replied, never once looking up from her work.

 

“Yeah,” Skye snorted. “That’ll happen.”

 

The corner of Hand’s lip turned in a quick, small smile but the older woman made no move to comment further. As she continued to work on the bracelet, Skye took it upon herself to wonder around her office. She stood up and made her way to the right side of the room. The left side of the room mostly had filing cabinets, but the right side was lined up with shelves, littered with knick knacks as well as books of all shapes and sizes.

 

Skye picked up a dislike stamp and turned it around in her hand. She couldn’t help but laugh at the image of the word dislike, in red ink, stamped on the report of one of her agents. She set the stamp down and ran her hand over the spines of the books. Most were titles she’s never heard of before, which wasn’t surprising. Most of what she read was online.

 

She moved to another shelf that held a unique version of Newton’s cradle, a bullshit button, and a spin-wheel that said ‘what’s for lunch’ with multiple types of food on it. “You know,” Skye said as she absently mindedly started the Newton’s cradle. “You’re not what I expected. For one of the head honchos at a top secret government base that is.”

 

“Is that a compliment or an insult?” Hand asked as she stood up and walked towards Skye.

 

“Definitely a compliment.” Skye was still staring at the stuff on the bookshelf when Hand lifted her left hand, pushed her already existing bracelets out of the way, and snapped the tracking bracelet on. She felt the older agent’s fingers still on her arm. Skye looked at Hand, who's face said it all. Her eyes traveled down to where her newest accessory sat. Her entire wrist was visible.

 

Skye looked back up at Hand, who was watching her closely. Skye opened her mouth to say something, anything, but never got the chance. There was a swift knock at the office door. Before Hand could respond, Ward came in. Immediately Skye jerked her arm away, readjusted her bracelets and turned towards him.

 

“Sorry to interrupt. Coulson sent me to get Skye. The bus is ready to go and we have a new mission,” he explained.

 

“Awesome. New missions and new accessories, today is just turning out to be top notch.” Skye replied sarcastically as she made her way to the door. After a moment of hesitation, Hand followed.

 

“I’ll accompany you.”

 

_Shit_

 

…

 

Skye twisted her wrist and watched her newest accessory move. “It could have been worse,” Ward said from her right. She shot him a dirty look. He just smiled. The trio walked through The Hub on their way to the bus. Skye could feel Hand’s eyes on her. She tried not to let her discomfort of Hand’s heated gaze show. The last thing she needed was for Ward to ask questions.

 

“Yeah, Fury was extremely close to putting a ‘kill electronics’ bracelet on you.” Hand added.

 

Skye scrunched up her face. “I would have chewed my arm off if he'd done that,” she muttered causing Hand and Ward both to chuckle.

 

“Plus, it’s not like this thing will remain on you for long.” Hand bumped shoulders with Skye.

 

“What now?” Ward asked.

 

“Nothing, she’s crazy.” Skye said quickly. She gave Ward a sweet smile. He just narrowed his eyes.

 

“Well, this is where I leave you two.”

 

“Yeah, at the ramp of the bus. I’ve been successfully escorted by two top SHIELD agents. I just can’t believe you’re both going through all this trouble over little ole me,” Skye said the last sentence in a southern accent.

 

Ward snorted but made no other reply. “Think I have time for a nap?” Skye asked as she stepped onto the ramp.

 

“Oh hey, hang on.” Hand pulled something out her pocket and handed it to Skye. Skye looked down at the tiny piece of paper and then back at Hand. “In case you ever need anything.” She explained. “It’s my personal cell.”

 

“I don’t even have your personal cell,” Ward said.

 

“That’s because I don’t like you.” She smirked. He rolled his eyes and headed up the ramp.

 

“Thank you,” Skye said sincerely. Her eyes were still on the piece of paper. She looked up at Hand and smiled.

 

“Whatever you need,” she reassured. “I don’t care what time it is, call me.”

 

Skye nodded “I will.” She turned back toward the bus and headed up the ramp, grateful that Hand didn’t push her for answers.

 

…

 

Coulson sighed and massaged his temples. Ever since his fight with May an hour earlier, he had the worst head ache. He knew he should have gone down to the briefing room and brief his team on their newest mission, but his mood was so foul that he was worried that he would snap at one of them. Instead he instructed Ward to brief everyone and instruct them on their jobs.

 

Once May mentioned their daughter’s name, it was like everything he kept bottled up since the day they lost her just exploded out of him. It only got worse when she claimed she was just trying to watch his back.

 

How dare she?! She made it perfectly clear that things were over and done with when she cut him out of her life. She didn’t even try to make contact after his brush with death and now all of a sudden she has his back!? Obviously she didn’t know what it truly meant to have someone’s back.

 

He never once thought of Skye as a replacement for his daughter. No one could ever replace Daisy and no one could ever come close. That was not what his relationship with Skye was about. It was about helping a young girl who was lost and alone. It was about giving her a second chance at life. He got one. Why couldn’t she?

 

He was starting to think bringing May on to the team was one of the worst ideas he’d ever had. She may be the best, but with all of the history between them, it would be impossible to remain level headed. The pain and the suffering they endured together was heavy and seemed to outweigh the good so much so that even someone as strong as Melinda May couldn’t keep her judgement from being clouded.

 

He was pulled from his thoughts by a soft knock at his office door. Skye poked her head in. “Hey,” she smiled. “Can I?” She gestured toward the chair in front of his desk. He gave her a tight smile and nodded. Skye slipped in and sat in front of him. “Got a cool new bracelet,” she lifted her left hand and shook it for emphasis.

 

He smiled a little easier. “You like it?”

 

“Absolutely not.” She laughed. “Anywho, I didn’t really come up here to show off my newest accessory. I wanted to check on you. Ward said you told him to brief us, which is uncharacteristic for you.”

 

“Thank you. I’m fine. Just had a rough day.” He explained shortly. She didn’t need to be burdened with his problems.

 

Skye nodded slowly. Her face told him that she didn’t believe him and for a second he was worried she would push it. “So…the welcome wagon?” she asked instead. “That is a terrible name.”

 

He laughed. “Yeah, it is.”

 

“We should change it. Can I fill out a suggestion card or…?”

 

“Unfortunately not…” he trailed off. An awkward silence settled amongst them. Coulson kept his eyes trained on his desk. He heard Skye shift nervously before she stood up.

 

“Okay, well, I can see that you need some time, but you know, if you want to talk…I’m here. I know I’m only 17 but I’ve been told I’m pretty good at giving advice.”

 

“Thank you Skye,” he said gently. Before she left, he opened his top drawer and pulled out the test. “One thing you can do for me.”

 

“Anything Phil.”

 

“Okay, two things. First, please don’t call me Phil.”

 

“Alright, you’re the boss A.C.” She smiled. Coulson rolled his eyes.

 

“Second, it will be a couple of hours before we land. Can you take this test in the meantime?” he held up the packet Simmons gave him.

 

“Another one? Are you trying to kill me?”

 

“No,” he laughed. “The first one showed where you would be in school, but Simmons couldn’t get an accurate IQ reading. This one will give her that.”

 

“Alright A.C. I’ll take this test. But it's the last one.” She grabbed the packet and left the office, leaving him alone with his thoughts, again.

 

…

 

Skye sat in her bunk and stared down out the window as the bus began to descend over Grover Beach, California. Things have been weird the last few hours on the bus. She wasn’t sure why, but she could feel a tense iciness in the air. That combined with Coulson’s odd behavior had Skye trying to play detective.

 

It’s not like there was anything better to do. She finished the test Coulson gave her within an hour of receiving it and turned it in to Simmons. Ward was working out, Fitz was working on his latest project, the ‘night-night’ gun, and after Simmons took her test, she returned to study the report on the 084.

 

She didn’t want to bother Coulson, and May was just not an option. Skye had grown quite close to Coulson and FitzSimmons. She was even beginning to bond with Ward. But May? She barely even liked being in the same room as her. She was cold and hard. She looked at Skye like she was a waste of space. She never said anything, or confronted the woman, but she definitely recognized that look.

 

So with everyone busy, Skye was left on her own and ever since The Hub, she was trying to remain on her best behavior (at least for a few hours) so she settled in her bunk and replayed her conversation with Coulson over and over. It got her nowhere, but it kept her busy until they arrived.

 

Once the bus had landed, Skye emerged from her bunk and joined the team in the briefing room. Ward and FitzSimmons were already there. May arrived shortly after her and then finally Coulson walked in.

 

“Alright so everyone has been briefed?” He looked at the team but didn’t wait for a verbal response before continuing. “I’ve made some changes to the roster. FitzSimmons, I need you to stay here and make sure the cage can withstand her. If we are dealing with a telekinetic, I want her powers to be confined to that room. Otherwise she could take the whole plane down.”

 

“Yes sir,” the replied simultaneously.

 

“Skye,” he turned his focus on her. For a second she felt like a deer in headlights. “I want you to come with the rest of us. I’d like for you to see firsthand what the welcome wagon does.”

 

“Really?” she asked at the same time May scoffed “Seriously?”

 

“Do you have a problem Agent May?” Coulson snapped. Skye’s eyes travelled between the two agents as she connected some of the dots.

 

“Yes. I think bringing her along is a reckless and stupid idea. She’s just a kid. A stubborn kid that doesn’t know how to listen. She will just be in the way.”

 

Skye felt her blood begin to bubble. She had half a mind to reply, but chose to remain silent and try to stay calm. Things never ended well when she lost control of her anger. That was a lesson she learned when she was a child and one that definitely stuck with her.

 

“Seeing as _I_ am in charge of this team, it is _my_ call. She's coming with us.”

 

May narrowed her eyes. “You’re wasting your time,” she bit out. She turned her glare onto Skye. “This girl is not a SHIELD agent. She will never _be_ a SHIELD agent. She is hardheaded, vengeful and lets her emotions get the best of her. She is determined and not in a good way. Having her on the bus is pointless. Bringing her on this mission is dangerous-”

 

“I don’t know what I did to offend you-” Skye began.

 

“Your presence offends me. You came onto this team like a whirlwind. You’ve been forming bonds with everyone-”

 

“Except you,” Skye deadpanned. She could feel her heartbeat increase. The familiar burn of anger began to pump in her veins.

 

“Including a top ranking agent at the Hub-” Skye rolled her eyes.

 

“Not sure how that concerns you…like at all.” She said, her voice low. She closed her eyes and took a breath and tried to focus on remaining as calm as possible.

 

“It does concern me because I know people like you. You’re a drifter. You’ve entered the lives of the people on this team and once you’re safe and free and clear, you’ll be gone just like that. You will leave your stain and it might not be removable.” May’s eyes drifted toward Coulson’s frozen form during that last part.

 

“Agent May-” Coulson shouted one he snapped out of his shock, but it was too late. Calm went out the window. The dam had cracked wide open and rage flooded through her body rapidly. Skye narrowed her eyes in a glare that matched May’s. She let out a short bitter laugh and rounded the table so she was face to face with May.

 

“You don’t know me, you will never know me, so don’t even pretend you do. I highly doubt you can predict the future so half of your argument in invalid and frankly, a waste of air. And while we’re on the subject of pointless arguments, why do you even care? You’re colder than an icicle. Do you even know what it means to be a friend? To care about someone? I may be stubborn, vengeful, determined and “not in a good way”, and I may let my emotions get the best of me, but that is what it means to be human. A concept that you, obviously, aren’t aware of. And at least I know that when I’m gone, people will remember me for the girl who fought for what she believe in and stood up for what was right. They’ll just remember you as the ice cold SHIELD agent, barely even human.”

 

“Excuse me-” May began.

 

“Enough!” Coulson yelled loudly causing everyone to flinch. “This conversation is over. Skye is coming with us and I don’t want to hear another word about it. Am I clear?” Coulson’s eyes were trained on May.

 

She glared at him. “Yes sir,” she replied tersely. She left the briefing room without another word.

 

Coulson pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. “FitzSimmons, go make sure that room can withstand this girl. Do whatever you need.”

 

The scientist duo nodded and left quickly. Coulson turned his gaze onto her. “Skye,” he said gently. “I need you to calm down, okay?”

 

Skye barely acknowledged him. Her face was burning, she was shaking with fury, and all she could see was red.

 

“Just breathe,” Coulson whispered.

 

She flinched when she felt Ward’s hands grip her shoulders. “Sir,” he began. “Let me handle this.”

 

Coulson gave him a quick nod. Ward gently led her out of the briefing room and to the cargo bay without a word, for which she was grateful for.

 

Ward opened the backseat door of the SUV for her. She looked at him questioningly. He nodded before saying “I need to gather something before we leave, but I figured you needed a moment to yourself.”

 

“Thank you,” she replied roughly. She gave him a forced smile before slipping into the SUV. She buried her face in her hands and focused on her breathing.

 

As a kid, Skye always had problems with her anger. With every year that passed and with every foster family that sent her back, her anger just got worse. She would start fights with kids at the orphanage. She didn’t care if they were older or younger nor did care if they were bigger or smaller. If they pissed her off, she picked a fight.

 

Sometimes her fits of rage would get so bad, the nuns had to lock her in one of the unused rooms at the orphanage where she would smash anything she could, slam herself against the door and on the floor, scream, pull her hair, anything  she could to express her anger.

 

She was put in therapy when one of her fits landed her in the hospital with a concussion. Therapy didn’t help. In order for it to help, she had to talk about what was wrong, and she point blank refused to talk.

 

In the end the only thing that helped was herself. She taught herself to control her anger. She rarely lost control anymore except when she came in contact with people like May. She barely said anything to May since she joined the team, but she attacked her like she was responsible for every miserable thing that happened in the older woman’s life. Hell would freeze over before Skye would just stand there and let someone attack her for no good reason.

 

She wasn’t sure how long she stood there with her face in her hands before she heard the backseat door open and the SUV shift before the door was shut. She lifted her face from her hands and turned to look at the person sitting next to her.

 

Ward held out a bottle of water and gave her an encouraging smile. “Thanks,” she said as she took it.

 

“Anytime. Have you cooled off?”

 

Skye opened the water bottle, took a sip, and closed it before answering. “A little bit. I hate losing control like that.” She confessed. She set the bottle in a cup holder.

 

“I get it.” Ward admitted.

 

Skye looked at him, the calm, cool, and collected agent. Then she thought back to their first meeting and how angry she made him. She couldn’t help but laugh at the irony that a week later, he was in the backseat trying to comfort her about her anger.

 

“I used to have a lot of issues as a child. My older brother Christian…he tortured my younger brother and I for the better part of our childhood. My mother didn’t care as long as she had a drink in her hand. My father was whom Christian got the abusive gene from. So it was just me trying to protect us.”

 

Skye scooted closer and reached out to grab his big hand in her small ones. “I’m sorry you had to go through that.” She whispered sincerely.

 

Ward looked at their entwined hands for a moment. Skye could tell he wasn’t used to contact like that. She was about to pull away when he tightened his hand and around hers. He looked up at her for a moment, almost calculating, as if he were trying you decide if she was being sincere and if he should continue to trust her with his demons. In the end he smiled and stroked the back of her hand with his thumb. “One day I just snapped.” He said quietly. “I did something bad to protect my little brother and it nearly killed Christian.”

 

“You were protecting your brother,” she comforted. She moved a little closer to him.

 

“I know that, but my parents didn’t care. My dad saw it as if I was the problem child and if I wasn’t “handled” then I might cause a problem in his campaign. So I was sent to military school.”

 

“Your parents are awful. I’m so sorry. What happened to your little brother?”

 

“I don’t know. The last time I saw my family, Thomas wasn’t there. Neither was my baby sister. I hope that they managed to escape safely, but I haven’t found out what exactly happened.”

 

Skye didn’t reply. Instead she scooted even closer to him, if that were even possible, and wrapped her arms around him. This time he returned her hug. They broke apart after a moment but remained close. Ward’s gaze drifted down to Skye’s lips and then back up to her eyes. Skye felt her heartrate increase once again, but this time it was a good thing. Before either of them could move, the driver’s side door opened. They scooted apart as Coulson got in, quickly followed by May. Once everyone was buckled up, they were on their way to pick up the potential teenage telekinetic.

 

…

 

If there was one thing that signaled something very bad, it was a group of angry people in the middle of the road yelling. And that was exactly the sight Coulson was greeted with when he turned onto the street that Hayleigh Monroe lived on.

 

“I guess it was too much to ask for an easy pick up,” he sighed.

 

“Did she murder someone with her powers or something?” he heard Skye mutter, while looking at the protesters. He shot May a look. She just rolled her eyes, but didn’t move to say anything.

 

“It’s probably just the fact that she has powers. In small communities like this, everybody knows everybody and they’re all really close. So when the foster system places an unknown kid in the house of one of the long time residences and the kid turns out to have a pretty strong power, people panic.” Ward explained.

 

“She’s a foster kid?”

 

“All her life,” Coulson replied. He parked the car and turned toward Skye. “I want you to stay in the car.” She opened her mouth to protest, but he cut her off. “I want you to watch how this intake process is done. Please stay in the car.”

 

“Fine,” she nodded and sat back.

 

He got out of the car and made his way to where a local LEO was standing with the family. He zoned out the yelling from the protesters in the background. May remained on the sidewalk and Ward stood at the bottom of the steps leading to the porch. “Mr. and Mrs. Foster, I’m Phil Coulson with SHIELD,” he showed them his badge.

 

“Oh thank god!” Mrs. Foster exclaimed.

 

“We didn’t want any of this,” Mr. Foster explained. “We just wanted to foster a kid, give them a good home and all of that. When Hayleigh started showing her powers, we thought calling it in was the right thing.”

 

“Now there is a mob in front of our house and they’re scaring our real children. Please Mr. Coulson, just take Hayleigh.”

 

Before Coulson could reply, the front door exploded. Everyone on the porch ducked. Hayleigh stormed out of the house with a fire in her eyes. Her fist were balled up and she was practically vibrating.

 

“Well if it’s the mob of idiots scaring Lily and Jake, why not just take care of the mob? Do you know how easy it would be to make them go away?” She walked down the steps and turned toward her foster parents. She walked backwards, made a motion with her hands and several people from the group flew a couple of feet in the air. “They think they’re so big and bad with their stupid signs!” Hayleigh turned towards the group and lifted her hands toward them. Several of the signs ripped apart instantly.

 

“Do you really think you can hurt me with those signs? Ha! What a hilarious concept. Guess what I can hurt you with?” She motioned with her hands again. People began to run and scream in terror as several of the cars stationed on the street began to move on their own. “Look, they’re running away!” Hayleigh yelled. She held out her arms. “Does that mean I get to stay?” She turned back towards her foster parents. That’s when Coulson saw the trail of tears on her face.

 

“Hayleigh, I’m Phil Coulson. I am here with SHIELD-” he said gently. He took a small step forward with his hands raised in surrender.

 

“Yeah I heard you,” she snapped. The street lights began to explode, one right after the other. Sparks flew everywhere. “What I’m not hearing is why I should give a damn?”

 

“We’re just here to help.” He tried to explain.

 

“You can help by leaving. I don’t need some fucking suit locking me in a room to be studied.” She turned her angry eyes toward the Fosters. “How could you?” She whispered. Her voice waivered. “I never did anything to hurt any of you. So what, I’m a little different. Welcome to the world that we live in. And instead of trying to help…” she broke off, closed her eyes, and shook her head. When she opened her eyes again, the fire had returned with a vengeance. “I’ll show you,” she hissed but before she could do anything, he heard the sound of a gun going off.  Everything seemed to slow down after that. Coulson watched, wide-eyed as Hayleigh stumbled forward slightly. A look of pure confusion crossed her face and a blue tinge was briefly visible around the eyes before she collapsed.

 

Ward rushed forward and caught the unconscious teenager before she could hit the side walk. Coulson turned his attention to where May was standing. The night-night gun was still in her hand and pointing at thin air. Her stance was tense, her face was deadly, and her eyes were cold and calculating. She looked at him and he knew exactly what she was seeing.

 

She was no longer in Grover Beach, California accompanying him as the welcome wagon. She was back in Bahrain. He could see her replaying the images in her head. His anger from earlier was suddenly gone and all he wanted to do was comfort his former wife but he knew he couldn’t. Even if she allowed it, they had a job to do.

 

May relaxed slight and put the gun away. She walked toward Ward and helped him with Hayleigh. Coulson moved his attention from them to Skye. She was standing next to the passenger seat of the SUV. He couldn’t really blame her for jumping out of the car during all of that.

 

Her mouth was parted slightly, her gaze was trained on May, and her cheeks were red. She was angry. A mixture of shock and disgust crossed her features. She turned her gaze from May to Coulson. She shook her head slightly before turning and getting back into the SUV.

 

He let out a deep sigh. Apparently it _was_ too much too was for an easy pick up.

 

…

 

Skye was unusually quiet on the way back to the bus. Coulson kept shooting her glances via the rearview mirror, but she was always looking out the window. As soon as they parked in the bus, she got out and headed toward the stairs. FitzSimmons walked out of the lab in time to see her make her way up the stairs. She ignored their greetings.

 

The scientist shared a look of confusion and slight hurt before they turned toward Coulson. “Sir, is everything alright with Skye?” Simmons asked.

 

“I don’t know. I’ll talk to her once we have Hayleigh situated. Is the cage ready?”

 

“Yes sir,” Simmons replied. “Her powers will be limited to the cage.”

 

“The only thing in there is a mattress. We didn’t want to risk anything when you go in there to talk to her.” The pair turned their attention to the unconscious gifted that Ward was now carrying. “Once she wakes up.”

 

“Thank you,” Coulson replied absentmindedly. “May get us in the air. I’ll let Fury know we’re on our way.”

 

May just nodded and headed toward the cockpit. Ward headed to place Hayleigh in the cage and Coulson was headed toward his office. He stopped when he got to the stairs leading to the third floor. He looked at Skye’s bunk. Before he could stop himself, he walked over and knocked. After a moment, the hacker opened the door.

 

“Figured you would be stopping by,” she muttered. She sat back on her bed and started typing on her lap top. “I could feel your gaze on me the entire ride here.”

 

“Yeah well you were quiet. It was weird.” He teased. She cracked a small smile. “I thought I should explain what happened back there.”

 

“Oh I know what happened A.C. I was there. May used violence. Pretty quickly too I might add. Your ‘welcome wagon’ protocol needs a fucking overhaul.”

 

“May has…” he broke off, struggling to the right words. He didn’t want to reveal too much about her. It wasn’t his story to tell. “She’s had a run in with a young gifted before. It didn’t end well. That experience changed May and to this day it still haunts her.”

 

"And you brought her along regardless," Skye scoffed. “Did she have a choice the first time round?”

 

“Not really,” he answered solemnly.

 

“Well she did this time. Hayleigh could have easily been talked down. She wasn’t angry that the government showed up to take her. She was angry that the people who were supposed to take care of her let her down. They turned their backs on her and it broke her heart. She just wanted to be loved and accepted. She just wanted to have a forever family. She thought the Foster’s would be that. And they weren’t.”

 

“You’re talking as if you’ve known this girl your whole life,” he observed.

 

“I have. Because she’s me. I know exactly what it’s like to be abandoned time after time by families that you hope more than anything will want you to stay. It sucks. No one should ever have to feel that unwanted. And that’s exactly what Hayleigh felt when she learned that these assholes were sending her away. It was just much worse knowing that it was her powers that made the decision for them. And now she feels like since she has this “gift” no one will ever want her.”

 

Skye spoke with such passion about the topic that Coulson’s heart broke a little for her. Just imagining what she had to go through to get where she is. She was right, no one should ever have to feel unwanted. And certainly no one should ever have to go what both Skye and Hayleigh went though.

 

“When she calms down, I’ll talk to her.”

 

“Let me,” Skye said quickly.

 

“Skye that isn’t safe.” He said seriously.

 

“Yes it is. Hayleigh will just see you as a government suit that doesn’t care. May shot her so that’s a terrible idea. And as much as Ward is starting to grow on me, he’s got the personality of a tree. I can reach her.” Skye was basically pleading toward the end.

 

“I’m sorry Skye. The answer is no. That’s final.” He watched as Skye’s face went blank and her eyes hardened. She turned her attention back to her computer.

 

“Do you need anything else _sir_?” she asked stiffly.

 

He opened and closed his mouth several times before standing up. He muttered a quiet ‘no’ before leaving her bunk, shutting the door behind him. As much as he wanted to stay, she needed time to cool off and he needed to call Fury. He spared one last glance at her door before heading upstairs.

 

…

 

After Coulson left her bunk, Skye set out to find out everything she could about Hayleigh. The poor girl had it pretty rough. Her parents died when she was two and she was passed from foster home to foster home ever since. She had been passed around almost as much as Skye.

 

Once she read everything she could find, she shut her laptop and disappeared under her covers hoping that if she closed her eyes long enough, sleep would come. It was no use. Her mind was going a million miles per hour. She wanted to badly go and talk to Hayleigh. She knew she could get through to the girl. She also knew that Coulson would be going to talk to her soon. If he hadn’t already. If she was going to go against his order, she needed to wait until he was occupied and away from Hayleigh.

 

After hiding under her covers for who knows how long, Skye slipped out of her bunk and went into the briefing room. She turned on the big monitor and pulled up the camera feed from the cage. Coulson and May were in there. Skye scoffed at his decision as she turned up the sound.

 

“I promise you we aren’t going to hurt you,” was the first thing she heard Coulson say. Hayleigh didn’t reply. She just sat on her mattress, her back against the wall, knees pulled up to her chest, arms wrapped around her knees, and she just stared forward with a blank expression on her face. “We just want to help you control your gift. SHIELD has no intention of locking you up. You have my word.”

 

No response. Skye could tell Coulson was getting frustrated. May remained as motionless as a statue behind him.

 

“Anything happening?” Skye heard Ward ask. She turned her gaze on him. He was just entering the briefing room with two bottles of water in his hands. He leaned against the table next to her and handed her one.

 

“Thanks,” she accepted the bottle and turned back to the screen. “I just started watching, but it doesn’t seem like Hayleigh is very interested in cooperating. Can’t say I blame her.”

 

“No?” Ward asked. Skye could feel his eyes on her.

 

“No,” she confirmed. “She was passed around like a ragdoll since she was two after her parents died. Nobody wanted to keep her. She was with the Fosters for almost 6 months. Things looked promising until she got this power. And the first emotions she’s receiving because of them are fear and hostility. A government suit and the person that shot her aren’t going to be successful in getting her to open up.”

 

“Coulson got you to open up. Kind of quickly. What’s different?”

 

Skye let out a soft laugh. “Other than the fact that I can’t move stuff with my mind? I wasn’t broken beyond repair and I hadn’t completely given up hope. I was close, but I wasn’t fully there yet. Coulson made me feel safe. There is just something so familiar about him. And I don’t know how to explain it, but I could feel it in my bones that I could trust him. Which is weird because I don’t trust anyone. Also, I had a bag put over my head by an angry robot. I wasn’t shot by the ice queen in there.”

 

“I’m sorry,” Ward said off topically. When Skye shot him a confused look, he elaborated. “About the bag and the way I acted toward you. It was very hostile.”

 

“You could say that again,” Skye laughed. “Now Ward, don’t go getting soft on me. I won’t know how to act around you anymore.”

 

Ward rolled his eyes. “Don’t get me wrong, you still get under my skin. You’re very infuriating, but I will admit I jumped on the judgmental and hostile band wagon pretty quickly.”

 

“Was it because I wounded your pride when I kicked your ass?” she asked smugly.

 

“You did not kick my ass,” he said exasperated before quickly whispering “But yeah, a little.”

 

“So what changed? Not that I mind, fighting with you is fun but I’m okay with not doing it.”

 

“You were trying to fight for your brother and to get justice for what was done to him. If I was in your position and my younger brother was hurt like Trip, I would rip the world apart for him.”

 

She gave him a gentle smile and nudged his arm with her elbow playfully. “I guess we have more in common than we realized.”

 

“Yeah,” Ward agreed. “Plus, I respect you.”

 

Skye couldn’t help but burst out laughing. “You respect me?” she said between laughs.

 

“Don’t look so surprised. You’ve done a lot since you came on. Including saving the team from rebels and exposing multiple flaws in our systems that SHIELD needs to get a handle on.”

 

“Yeah but I cost SHIELD millions of dollars and I am now being tracked.”

 

Ward waved his hand as if it wasn’t a big deal. “Please, SHIELD has a massive budget and you could and probably will take that bracelet off anytime you wish.”

 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” she shrugged with an innocent look on her face, causing Ward to laugh. Just then Fitzsimmons entered.

 

“Ward are you actually laughing?” Fitz gaped.

 

“Shut up.” Ward muttered.

 

“She’s not talking?” Simmons asked.

 

“Nope,” Skye replied.

 

“Can’t really blame her. I’d be too terrified to breathe if The Calvary was staring at me like that.” Fitz whispered under his breathe.

 

“The what?” Skye asked.

 

“May would probably kill you if she heard you call her that.” Ward cautioned.

 

“Why?” Skye looked at Ward expectantly.

 

“She got the nickname after a mission went sideways with a gifted.” He explained.

 

“Coulson mentioned she had a particularly bad run in with a gifted.”

 

“No one but May herself knows what exactly went down. The basic story is that a dozen SHIELD agents and some innocents went dark in a building in Bahrain. May went in and saved them. A lot of people died.”

 

Skye didn’t reply. Instead she thought about what Ward said. Briefly she wondered what May was like before that mission and made a mental note to look it up.

 

“Coulson and May are leaving the cage.” Simmons said. Skye looked up in time to see their retreating forms. A few moments later the two senior agents entered the briefing room. Skye moved to the back of the room next to FitzSimmons.

 

“No luck sir?” Ward asked.

 

“No,” he sighed. “She wouldn’t even look at us. FitzSimmons do you have anything that can inhibit her powers when we transfer to the base?”

 

“No sir,” Simmons replied.

 

“We could build something,” Fitz suggested.

 

“But there will be no way to test it.”

 

“And it might not be finished in time.”

 

“She can’t be trusted. If she won’t cooperate, then we sedate her and move her into the base and into a secure room."

 

"A.C. didn’t you hear a word of what I said earlier? It may not appear that way, but I don't talk merely because I like the sound of my own voice." Skye cut in.

 

“This has nothing to do with you Skye,” May snapped. “You are here for protection. That does not make you a part of SHIELD and you do not get a say in how we handle missions.”

 

“Well considering I saved your ass during the last mission, maybe you should listen.” Skye fired back. “A.C. this girl needs someone who understands her and can relate to her. She is not going to respond to you and she sure as hell isn’t going to respond to the woman who shot her.”

 

May ignored her. “Coulson, Hayleigh is a threat. She is a problem and if she isn’t going to cooperate with us, we have no other option other than strong force.”

 

Skye scoffed and slapped her hand on the surface of the touch table in the middle of the briefing room. “The problem isn’t Hayleigh. She isn’t crazy or deranged. She’s just a terrified kid that has had a rough childhood and now has a power that she doesn’t understand and she can’t control.”

 

“Skye, I know you’re trying to see the best in her, but the truth is, some people can’t be saved.” Ward said gently. “And this girl is one of them.”

 

“Are you kidding? She’s a child!” Skye continued to argue. “One that had to grow up way to fast.”

 

“You’re aren’t much older than her Skye,” May said annoyed. “You aren’t a SHIELD agent. This girl is dangerous. She dangerous to us, she dangerous to anyone she comes in contact with, and she’s dangerous to herself! And she needs to be taken care of.”

 

“So, what, you’re just going to put her down like some kind of animal?” Skye snapped.

 

“That isn’t what we’re saying,” Coulson tried but it was already too late.

 

“No you know what,” she said loudly. She held up her hand to prevent Coulson from shutting her down and continued. “Maybe if the ice queen hadn't of shot her, she'd open up a little or, you know, won't be tempted to use her powers on us. Poor girl is probably even more traumatized than she already was."

 

"You're just a child, a stubborn child that acts before she thinks. You have no idea how to make the hard call. So you've had a couple of rough foster homes and decided 'screw the system'. That doesn't mean you understand trauma and the after effects and that certainly doesn’t make you more qualified to decide what to do with the gifted!"

 

FitzSimmons took a step back. Ward winced at the volume of May’s voice. Coulson shifter closer to the two women. It’s been a long time since he saw May this worked up and the outcome couldn’t possibly be good.

 

An eerie silence settled in the room. Skye and May just glared at each other, their breathing heavy. Finally, Skye broke the silence.

 

“Hayleigh.”

 

“What?” May snapped, irritation in her voice.

 

“Her name is Hayleigh. But I guess that is too much to ask _The Calvary_ to remember.” She spit out.

 

Everyone in the room froze. FitzSimmons gasped and Ward tensed. He moved to where he was ready to break a fight between the two women up if need be. Coulson’s eyes went wide. Skye saw all that in the corner of her eye while keeping her attention on agent May. She knew she crossed a line but she didn’t care. Her anger was taking over. The older woman’s eyes narrowed into a lethal stare. Skye matched her glare effortlessly.

 

“What did you call me?” May asked in a deadly calm voice.

 

“You heard me,” Skye bit out. “So you’ve experienced some trauma with gifted people. Boo fucking hoo. That doesn’t give you the right to treat them all like they’re animals.”

 

“You’re playing with fire little girl,” May took a step forward. “You better stop while you’re ahead.”

 

“And you better not underestimate me.”

 

“Skye-” Coulson warned. She ignored him.

 

“I know I’m not a SHIELD agent. Nothing in this world could get me to be a SHIELD agent. SHIELD claims they’re all about protection and that is a load of bullshit.”

 

“You don’t know a damn thing Skye,” May snapped.

 

“I know that Hayleigh isn’t going to trust any of you nor is she going to trust SHIELD when the first interaction with them leads to being shot and locked up.”

 

“I did what I had to do.” May argued. “You don’t know what that is. You don’t know the first thing about going through a trauma or making the hard call.”

 

“No,” Skye shook her head. “No, you did what was easy. She’s a fifteen year old girl. She’s a human being and she should be treated like one. But then again, I am a decent person and that's something you seemed to forgotten how to be Agent May. You don’t know me, you don’t know what I’ve been through so don’t you dare say I don’t know trauma and the after effect or how to make a hard call. My entire life has been a hard call, but do I use that as a reason to be a bitch? No. I use that to remind myself to be a better person and fight for what I believe in instead of letting people like you treat me like the gum on the bottom of your shoe.”

 

“Will you be singing the same tune when Hayleigh kills people?” May asked after a moment of silence.

 

“Will you? When it turns out that all she needs is a friend? Someone who will understand her?”

 

“You both had bad childhoods, yeah I get it. I heard you, but that doesn’t make you more qualified that the rest of us.” May’s voice was softer, almost like she was giving up this fight.

 

“It does. Because I can see her. I know exactly where she is right now. That girl…is so close to giving up. You want to use force? Knock her out and transfer to a different jail cell, fine. But mark my words, it will not end well.” Skye lifted her hand and wiped the corner of her eye to prevent the tears from falling. She looked at everyone in the room. Save for May, everyone had a look of pity on their faces. Skye hated pity.

  
“What do you mean ‘not end well’?” Coulson asked gently.

 

Skye looked at him and said bluntly. “She will kill herself. If you lock her up, she will find a way to end her life because at that point, dying will be easier than living as far as she is concerned.” She shook her head and headed toward the door. She stopped in front of Coulson. “You've completely disregarded my warnings and advice twice now. First with the ambush and second on how to deal with Hayleigh. For your sake, there'd better not be a third. I'm already tired of cleaning up after you _experienced_ agents." Before making her way toward the door.

 

Simmons was the one who stopped her. She gripped her arm gently. “How do you know that she would go that far? That she would end her life if she gave up?”

 

Skye gave her a sad smile. She turned her arm to where her wrist was facing upwards and moved the bracelets out of the way. Simmons looked down at the long, ugly, scar on her wrist. “Because I tried.” She whispered. She didn’t wait for a response. She just pulled her arm out of Simmons' grip and left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When are May and Coulson going to discover that Skye is their daughter? I have their discovery planned out, I just don’t know what chapter it will be in. I have a lot of the big events planned out, but the chapters themselves aren’t planned. I just kind of start writing and the words come out.
> 
> When is Skyeward going to come into play? I’ve been slowly pushing them closer. This chapter showed that they have more in common than meets the eye. Next chapter (if all goes right) there will be a really touching scene between the two.
> 
> When will we find out why Skye’s foster mom committed suicide? Hopefully in chapter 6
> 
> Follow me on Tumblr. Same username!


	6. Destructive Memories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Mention of suicide

_“Fear will do that to you— tattoo an unwanted memory right over the fabric of your soul, make you recall it at your weakest moment.”_

_―_ _Addison Moore_ _,_ _Expel_

* * *

 

_The first thing Skye saw when she opened her eyes were the bright ceiling lights. She winced at the brightness. For a moment she thought she was staring directly at the sun. She closed her eyes._

_The second thing she noticed when she opened her eyes was that she was moving. She tried to listen to the sounds around her to determine where she was and why. She felt like her head was in a plastic bubble. Everything was so muffled. She closed her eyes._

_The third thing she noticed when she opened her eyes was how heavy everything felt. Her arms and legs felt like they were being weighed down by stones. Her chest felt like there was giant rock on it, preventing her from breathing, but there was nothing there. Nothing but a white sheet of some kind. She tried to sit up and look around, but the movement made her stomach churn. She closed her eyes._

_The last thing she noticed when she opened her eyes was a man’s head floating above her. She narrowed her eyes in confusion. The floating man opened his mouth. When his lips began to move, Skye expected something, anything, to come out. She heard nothing. Her brows furrowed in frustration. She didn’t like this. She closed her eyes._

_She did not try to open them again._

Skye will admit that she has done some pretty stupid things in her life. She could easily blame it on all of the foster homes and different schools she was in and out of. She could say that all of the moving around left her confused and that she was never properly taught anything. She could easily blame it on the orphanage. There were way too many kids and not enough nuns to care for them all so they, of course, had to cut corners. Their way of dealing with a problem was to lock said problem away. Spoiler alert, the problem was usually her. She could say growing up in that kind of environment left her confused.

 

She had plenty of excuses she could use. That was the one good thing that came out of an unstable childhood. The excuses. They didn’t always work, but 9 times out of 10 they did. Especially if the person giving the excuses could sell it. Skye could definitely sell it. But this time around she didn’t need an excuse and she didn’t need to sell it. It was plain and simple. She was doing the right thing.

 

And she was one hundred percent sure of that as she opened the door of the cage and slipped in. Hayleigh was still in the same position except instead of facing forward and staring blankly, her forehead was now resting on her knees. Skye didn’t say anything, she just sat against the wall opposite of Hayleigh and watched her.

 

When Hayleigh was ready, she would say something. Skye felt like that would be sooner, rather than later. Between May taking her down, being locked in a strange place, having a suit and the woman who shot her stand across from her and try to get her to talk all the while playing good guy, her patience had to be wearing thin. Skye just had to wait. Skye would wait. Because Hayleigh deserved that.

 

…

 

_Melinda May always strived to excel in everything she did throughout her entire life. When she was in her first year at the SHIELD Academy, some of the older, male students looked at her like she was a piece of meat. She knew what they thought. She was a woman and operations was no place for a woman. She enjoyed proving them wrong._

_Her mother told her she should find a man, settle down, and start a family. She was told time and time again that she was too weak and she would wash out of operations. There was always someone there with every turn she took during her time at the Academy waiting to slap her down, but she refused to give up. She earned her SHIELD badge in every way possible._

_The high she felt when she was handed her badge was indescribable. She literally felt like she was on top of the world. Every time a mission was a success, she felt that high. As the missions came and went, so did the slight twinge of nervousness she got at the very beginning. She wasn’t cocky, but she was confident._

_When Bahrain happened, she never thought she’d feel that high again. She made peace with that. Little did she know that the one thing she said she would never do was the only thing in the world that could have made her feel even better than receiving her SHIELD badge and proving every misogynistic bastard wrong._

_She became a mother. The term still got to her. Mother. Back in the Academy, that thought was laughable. She was never going to be a mother. She told herself that, she told her mother that, she told ever pretentious douche bag that, and yet the moment the pregnancy test turned positive, she felt a thrill shoot through her. It started at her stomach and shot to her heart._

_Her pregnancy wasn’t necessarily an easy one. She had morning sickness, afternoon sickness, and night sickness throughout most of her pregnancy. And then her stubborn baby decided to make an early appearance that no doubt stressed Melinda to the point of grey hair and age wrinkles. She wouldn’t trade any of it for the world though._

_Even as she lay on the bathroom floor, with her arms wrapped around her stomach and a thin sheen of sweat on her forehead, she felt connected with her baby. After every time she threw up, she felt her baby move gentle. It was almost like she was apologizing._

_There are mothers out there who aren’t into their pregnancies or who don’t feel connected to their baby. Melinda felt bad for them. Her pregnancy became a part of her. She talked to her baby everyday as if she were really there. Even when her baby was just a little dot on the screen and hadn’t developed ears yet._

_So it came as no surprise when that connection held after Daisy was born. Melinda’s eyes popped open at 2:13 a.m. three weeks after Phil and she had brought their baby home. She turned off the baby monitor, rubbed the sleep from her eyes, and looked at her husband. He was still sound asleep. She smiled at him adoringly before slipping out of the bed and heading towards the nursery._

_Daisy was on her back in the middle of her crib. Her tiny hands were balled into fists and she was kicking her legs restlessly as she let out a frustrated whine “What’s wrong baby girl?” She asked as she picked up her daughter. Daisy immediately settled. “You just want to be held don’t you?”_

_Daisy cooed and pawed at her mother’s pajama shirt. “My beautiful, baby girl,” she whispered. “I love you so much.” She went to the rocking chair and sat down. Daisy stared at her mother curiously. “Hush, little baby, don’t say a word. Mama’s gonna buy you a mocking bird,” Melinda began to sing gently as she rocked Daisy. “If that mockingbird don't sing, Mama's gonna buy you a diamond ring.” Daisy’s eyes began to flutter as her mother soothed her to sleep. “Sleep now, my angel. Mama’s here. Mama will always be here to protect you and to keep you safe.”_

_Melinda continued to rock her baby until well after the sun came up._

May wasn’t surprised when there was a knock at the cockpit door. She had been expecting Coulson since she left the briefing room. After their fight and then her two fights with Skye, she knew they would be having a serious talk.

 

She didn’t bother to say ‘come in’ and he didn’t bother to wait. She heard him open and close those the door before he shuffled towards the front. He sat in the chair next to her without a word. She waited patiently while he collected his thoughts.

 

“I can’t keep doing this May,” he sighed in defeat. May turned her gaze on him. She didn’t let it show, but her heart race increased slightly. “We can’t keep doing this. I brought you on because even after everything we’ve been through I still trust you with every ounce of my being to watch my back. But the way you’ve been acting-”

 

“I am watching your back,” she interrupted. Her tone harsher than she intended “You have a connection with Skye. From the moment you met her, you saw something in her and you’ve been trying your hardest to help her because that is who you are. You’re a good guy and I’ve always respected how you go out of your way for others. But dammit Phil, she is going to break your heart. When she is safe, she is going to walk out of your life and never look back.”

 

“You don’t know that for sure. And even if it turns out that you’re right, at least she will have a chance to live a better life than the one she was dealt. And that’s enough for me.”

 

“You say that now, but you can’t be sure of that. You can hope that you will be alright when she leaves. That you’ll have closure because you know you changed her life for the better, but there is still a possibility that when she does, your world will come crashing down. It’s clear you love that girl Phil, even after only a week. If the connection between you two is already this strong…” she trailed off.

 

“Try to justify it whatever way you want May, but you can’t deny it. You’ve been unfairly lashing out at Skye. I know why, you know why, and as much as the reason doesn't make it okay, I can understand the burden you're under. I’m under it too. You aren’t alone in your pain. The difference between us is I’m not locking it away. I’m not trying to bury it. I think about it every day. I think about _her_ every day. It helps. But in order for it to help, you have to try.”

 

An awkward silence filled the cockpit. May turned her attention to the scene in front of her, but she watched Phil out of the corner of her eye. His posture was tense and his breathing, his face was void of emotion, and his breathing was heavier than usual.

 

The sun was beginning to set. It would be night soon. May felt her stomach churn. One day closer to her daughter’s birthday. Her daughter’s 18th birthday. She didn’t want to think about it. For days she had avoided thinking about it.

 

She turned towards her ex-husband. He was gazing out of the side window. He looked as lost as she felt. She knew he was right, but she wasn’t ready. She wasn’t ready to think about it and she definitely wasn’t ready to talk about it.

 

“Phil-” she began but he cut her off.

 

“Do you want off of the bus?” She looked at him fully now but he was still looking out the window. He sounded so hopeless, so…broken.

 

“What?”

 

“Do you want off the bus?” she was hurt by the bluntness of his question.

 

“Phil, no-”

 

“Then why are you here? Because you sure as hell don’t act like you want to be here.” May opened her mouth to reply, but nothing came out. What could she even say? He was right and she knew it. He sighed and stood up. “If you want to be here, then you need to prove it. I know you're struggling. I’m struggling too, but I’m not going to attack the people on this team. And like it or not, Skye is a member of this team. She has done nothing but prove her worth. She may not do it in the way we were trained too, but you can’t deny that she is making a difference. So you don't like Skye? Fine. But I do expect you to be civil with her from now on. So far she's been invaluable to the team, and, well, if needed, we can always get a different pilot. Especially considering you're the destabilizing factor on the team."

 

There were so many different things she could have said. So many different things that she should have said. Over the past decade, she had perfected being stoic. She had successfully taught herself how to swallow her emotions. It was the only way she knew she would survive the trauma of the past. Even in the most intense situations, she remained calm, but in this moment it was different.

 

For the first time in years, her emotions were all over the place and instead of swallowing them, she let them get the best of her. “She would have been 18,” May whispered brokenly. She felt like her chest was going to crack open any moment. She felt a lump form in her throat, making it harder to swallow. Her heart felt like it was in her stomach.

 

“I know.” He replied. She turned around and looked at him. His eyes were filled with tears. “After we drop Hayleigh off, I plan on giving the team a couple of days to regroup. Everyone needs it. _You_ need it. And if you still want to be a member after the break, then come back. If not, I will find another pilot. Because I can’t keep doing this with you May.”

 

Before she could respond, there was an urgent knock at the door. It opened and Ward stuck his head in. “Sir, we have a situation.”

 

“What kind of situation?” he asked. May looked at Ward. Realization dawned on her as she took in the slightly guilty look on his face.

 

“I was giving Skye some space, letting her calm down, and it seems she took the opportunity to slip into the cage with Hayleigh.”

 

“What?” Coulson asked loudly. He followed Ward out of the cockpit. May put the plane into auto pilot and followed Coulson as he made his way to the briefing room. FitzSimmons were already in there watching the monitor. Skye was seated Indian style across from Hayleigh. The two girls were staring at each other but neither one of them were talking.

 

“Dammit Skye,” Phil said.

…

_Skye had always been burdened with the abandonment of her parents. They didn’t even have the decency to physically hand her to someone. Instead they left her on the top step of St. Agnes Orphanage when it was raining outside. It was a miracle that she didn’t get sick from the rain and the chill in the air._

_When she was little, she was hopeful. She gave them the benefit of the doubt. Maybe they had an emergency and they didn’t have time to wait for someone to answer the door so they just left her._

_As she got older and began to understand and truly grasp her abandonment, her thought process changed. She went from maybe they had an emergency to maybe they were just fucking assholes. Which was why she never bothered trying to find them. They obviously didn’t want her. They didn’t even want the nuns to see them. That way their daughter would never know what they looked like. Whatever. Fuck them._

_With every foster home that sent her back, the burden got heavier and heavier. A lot of times she felt like she was suffocating slowly, painfully, but even with all of her foster homes ending in disappointment, there was still a small part of her that hoped maybe, some day, she would find a family. Over the years she got better at hiding that part of herself, but she couldn’t deny that it was there._

_Then the McDonald’s happened. On the outside they seemed like a nice family. They lived in a two story suburban home. Jeffery McDonald was the president of a bank; Tina McDonald was a homemaker. They had been married for 20 years. They had two kids of their own. They seemed like the perfect family, but they were far from that. Seemed was the key word._

_Skye had only been in their custody for a day when she realized that. She thought everything was going good. Tina welcomed her the moment she walked in the door with a warm, motherly hug, Jeffery carried her things up to her room and their kids, Ashley and Henry, helped her get settled. They sat around the table and ate dinner like an actual family._

_She knew she shouldn’t have trusted it. She knew it was too good to be true and that she should keep her guard up, but somehow, whatever small amount of hope she had within her broke through her wall. Maybe that’s why she didn’t see the signs._

_It was just past 2 a.m. when she was woken up by her door slamming open. Jeffery stormed in, grabbed her ankle, and dragged her violently out of her bed, down the stairs, and to the basement muttering something to himself that she couldn’t make out. She kicked and screamed. She cried and pleaded the entire way. When he was dragging her down the hallway, before he got to the stairs, she saw Tina, Ashely, and Henry. They were standing in the doorway of their bedrooms staring. Just fucking staring._

_Skye wasn’t sure how long she was locked down there, suffering at the hands of Jeffery McDonald. The days blurred together in a haze of pain and terror. When she finally managed to break free, she ran and ran and ran. She didn’t go to the police, she didn’t return to the orphanage, instead she just disappeared into the darkness._

_It was then that her burden consumed her. It was like a dam was helping her hold the burden. The dam broke, the burden flooded her veins. It crushed the small amount of hope that remained within her, it extinguished whatever flame of fight she had left, it destroyed her, and afterwards her decision came easy._

_It was strange how easy it came to her. She figured that if she ever contemplated this, that she would think it over for day maybe even weeks. But instead she just knew. Her fight was over._

_Her last thought, before she dug the sharpened blade into her wrist, was to wonder if anybody was going to miss her, shed a tear for her, or come to her funeral. If she'd even have a funeral. Then she quietly whispered to herself ‘no…probably not’ and then she applied pressure._

_She leaned back in the motel bathtub, smiled to herself, and closed her eyes. It didn’t hurt, like she thought it would. It stung a bit, but not much._

_There was this sense of serenity that filled her the moment she dropped the blade. For the first time in years she felt burden free, she felt weightless. She no longer had to fight. She no longer had to face disappointment or anguish. She was free. After 14 years of suffering, it was finally over._

_And as the darkness consumed her, she was happy._

“Did they really think this would work?” Hayleigh’s sharp voice broke through the tense silence that had settled in the cage. Skye tilted her head questioningly. “Did they really think sending you in here would get me to talk? Like I’m going to magically open up to you because, what? We look the same age? Please.”

 

“Well considering I’m not supposed to be in here, no, they didn’t think it would work.” Skye replied calmly.

 

“Oh, so, you just went against what the suit and the ice queen said. Snuck in her to talk to the teenage freak? Why?” Hayleigh distrust laced every word she spoke.

 

Skye thought for a moment. Hayleigh wasn’t going to believe the ‘it’s the right thing’ speech she had been given everyone else. Even if it was the truth. Skye sure as hell wouldn’t. Skye looked up at Hayleigh and shrugged. “Why not?”

 

Hayleigh tilted her head back slightly. She let out a humorless laugh and nodded. “You’re good. I honestly wasn’t expecting that answer. Still don’t know why you’re here though. What can you do for me?”

 

“I can relate to you. I mean, not to you being a teenage super powered person, but to you being a foster kid.”

 

“ _You_ are a foster kid?” she asked in disbelief.

 

“Was,” Skye corrected.

 

“Look at you,” Hayleigh’s eyes scanned over her. “You definitely don’t look like someone who’s survived the hardships of the foster system. Your eyes aren’t haunted by the pains of the past, you don’t look like you’re barely holding yourself together, and you sure as hell don’t look like a rejected kid. How can you possible relate to me? You can’t. So I don’t know why you’re even bothering. Just give up and leave me the fuck alone.”

 

Skye stood up after Hayleigh’s speech and crossed the cage quickly, taking the other girl by surprise. She sat down next to Hayleigh before she could protest.

 

“When I was five,” she began “I thought I had found it. Found them.”

 

“Found what? Who?” She looked at Hayleigh, their eyes connected, and Skye let herself be something she fought so hard against. She let herself be vulnerable. She let herself be vulnerable and she let it show. It was the only way to get Hayleigh to believe her. To see her, not as a pawn of the government trying to trick her, but as someone who has been through the pain and suffering of being a foster kid.

 

“My forever family. Their names were Mary and Derek Mathews. Mary had suffered a bad miscarriage a few months before they took me in. The doctors told her she might not be able to conceive again. It broke her heart. After enough time had passed, the decided to try fostering. I was their first and I was positive if would be forever." Skye broke their gaze and looked at the floor. She smiled sadly at the memory.

 

"Derek worked a lot, but he was always home for dinner. We ate together like a real family and together they would tuck me into bed. Sometimes, when I couldn’t sleep, I’d sit at the top of the stairs and listen to them. I was just dying to know if I would be staying. I wanted it so badly.” She swallowed thickly. She had never told anyone this story. At least not the full version. She took a calming breath before she continued. “One night I heard Derek tell Mary that not having kids of their own was probably for the best because there were so many kids that needed homes and although Mary wanted to have a baby herself, she agreed. “

 

"I couldn’t help but be even more excited that I was going to stay. I felt like I was on cloud nine. That was the first time I ever remember being truly happy. Mary changed my life. Before I was placed with her, I was known at ‘Mary Sue Poots’,” Skye twisted her face in disgust. “That’s what the orphanage named me. Mary could tell I didn’t like the name. Before I even left the orphanage with them, she took my hand and told me that I should be who I wanted to be, not who the nuns made me. She told me to choose my own name. I chose Skye. Unfortunately, it was the last time I remember being happy while in the system.”

 

She felt Hayleigh scoot closer. She looked at the younger girl, her face was passive, but her eyes expressed what she was thinking, what she was feeling. Hayleigh believed her. She gave her Skye and encouraging smile and nodded for her to continue.

 

"Every morning when Derek left for work, she would kiss him, tell him she loved him, and say ‘I don’t know what I’d do without you.’ He replied ‘you’ll never have to find out.’ He was a fucking liar.” She spit out furiously. Her hands balled into fists as a wave of anger hit her. Hayleigh’s hand wrapped around her wrist soothingly. “We used to play hide and seek on Saturday mornings. The last Saturday I was with them; I was hiding in the kitchen pantry.”

 

Skye broke off and took another deep breath. She lifted her hands to wipe the tears from her eyes before continuing. “I remember hearing the phone ring. A few minutes later Mary found me. She looked so…destroyed. She told me it wasn’t my fault and to never blame myself. She told me I would find a family one day and that she was so sorry. She instructed me to cover my ears, closed the pantry door, and then she shot herself in the head. I was too terrified to move so I remained on the floor of the pantry until I felt it.”

 

Skye leaned back but kept her head down, letting her hair hide her face. She could feel Hayleigh’s eyes on her. “Felt it?” Hayleigh whispered although she knew the answer.

 

“The blood. I opened the door and it was everywhere. All over the kitchen floor and my legs. I had to walk through it to get to the phone. I called 911 and then I just sat in the bloody kitchen, waiting.” She sobbed.

 

“How could she do something like that? You were five! She had to have known you would have to walk through it.” Hayleigh sounded angry, which surprise Skye. She honestly wasn’t sure if Hayleigh would believe her story.

 

“The phone call Mary got was Derek’s girlfriend. Apparently they had been together for years, had two kids, and were expecting a third. She was tired of waiting for Derek to end things, so she stepped in…” she trailed off. She smiled sadly. “I called her mommy right before she did it. I think I knew something bad was about to happen. I was planning on calling her that soon, but when I saw her…I felt like it might help. I guess it wasn’t enough to stop her. I guess I wasn’t enough.”

 

Skye felt Hayleigh pull her hand into her lap and squeeze it tightly. “From then on I was bounced around like a ball. I lost count on how many foster homes I was in. When I was 14, I was placed with these people…if I hadn’t of escaped and ran away, the father would have killed me. It was after them that I decided that I couldn’t do it anymore.”

 

“Be bounced around?”

 

Skye looked at Hayleigh seriously. “Live.” She replied before twisting her arm, moving her bracelets, and revealing one her scars. Hayleigh sucked in a sharp breath. Her finger ran over the scar softly. She looked from the scar to Skye. “I slit my wrist in a motel bathroom. As I sat in that grimy tub, bleeding from the gashes on each wrist, I found myself burden free and happy. Happy because it was finally over. No more foster homes, no more disappointment or fighting. I was free. And god did I relish in that feeling.”

 

“I woke up in the hospital a couple of days later. That was where I met Trip.” She smiled sadly at the mention of his name. “He was a homeless delinquent. He was there stealing Jell-O cups from the food cart,” Skye let out a sound that was a mixture of a laugh and a sob. “He glanced in my room when he walked past, stopped, backed up, came into my room, and laid in the bed next to me. He put his hands behind his head, looked at me, and said ‘what up girl.’” Skye buried her face in her hands and let out a sob. Hayleigh wrapped her arm around Skye. “That’s why I don’t look like you,” she whispered. “Because of Trip. He saved my life. He saved me. And now, I want to save you.”

 

Hayleigh swallowed thickly and nodded quickly before a sob broke through. Skye wrapped her arms around the younger girl. They held each other as the let go of some of the pain of the past. Together.

 

…

 

It was about an hour, and a bucket of tears, later when Skye emerged from the cage. Immediately she went to the briefing room. Coulson was pacing in front of the monitor, May was leaning against one of the walls, her arms crossed, and looking at the floor. Ward had his elbows resting on the briefing room table and his face in his hands, and FitzSimmons stood near the wall opposite of May whispering quietly.

 

Ward was the first one to notice her. He stood straight up and whispered her name, causing everyone to turn her attention to her. Coulson made to move closer, but Skye stepped back and shook her head. She couldn’t handle physical contact at the moment.

 

She cleared her throat. “Um, she’s ready to talk to you now.” She said roughly. Coulson gave her a small smile and went to reply, but before he could, she continued. “I’m sorry I didn’t listen, but it needed to be done.”

 

“It’s okay,” Coulson whispered. She didn’t know if it was pity or the fact that he knew she was right that kept Coulson from yelling at her and she didn’t care. She was just grateful that he didn’t.

 

She looked at her teammates. Were they even her teammates? She was here for protection. If she hadn’t of hacked Killian, Vincent, Castillo, and Marks, then she would have never been picked up by SHIELD. She would have never met any of the team. A sharp bang hit her head at that thought. Aside from May, she had grown close to the team members in one way or the other.

 

Maybe it was because she was still feeling vulnerable or maybe she was just admitting the truth, but she didn’t want this to end. She didn’t want to lose them, but how could this continue when she was safe? She wasn’t a SHIELD agent and she doubted Fury would ever let her try and become one, even if Hand and Coulson backed her up.

 

Fresh tears hit her eyes. “If it’s okay with you, I’d like to go to my bunk.” She told Coulson.

 

“Of course,” Coulson replied gently. “Take all the time you need.” Skye nodded quickly and pushed passed Coulson. She kept her eyes on the floor and her arms wrapped around her torso. “Thank you Skye,” she heard Coulson say but she didn’t stop or turn to reply. She just continued toward her bunk where she immediately disappeared under her blankets.

 

…

 

Phil Coulson waited patiently for Hayleigh to start her story. He had opted to come alone. After the emotional scene that played out before him between Skye and Hayleigh, he figured crowding her wasn’t the best idea.

 

“I was in school the first time I noticed it.” Hayleigh began. She looked up at him. “I didn’t do anything really big. I was walking down the hallway, on my way to seventh period, when these boys ran past me and knocked all of my books out of my hands. They had been teasing me from day one at that school and I was so fed up. I narrowed my eyes at their retreating forms when all of a sudden they tripped. Their shoelaces had somehow tied themselves together.”

 

“I didn’t believe it was me at first. I just chalked it up as a weird coincidence. And then other things started happening around me, other things started moving around me, mainly when I was frustrated. I didn’t tell anyone. I was terrified of what I could do and of what they would do to me.”

 

He sat against the wall across from Hayleigh so he was on eye level with her and waited for her to continue.

 

“I figured it would be easy, you know? I just had to keep my emotions in check, which was something I learned early on in the foster system. Nobody wanted to deal with an overly emotional foster kid. And for a few weeks, it was easy. But then one night, after dinner, I was sent to find Jake and get him upstairs for his bath.” Hayleigh broke off and took a deep breath.

 

“I found him in the study. He was climbing the bookshelf trying to get a book off of the top shelf. Why they put the kids’ books up there, I don’t know. It was fucking stupid. It happened so fast. The bookshelf began to tilt and Jake…Jake was so tiny. It would have killed him. My scream alerted everyone in the house. Before I even thought about it, I lifted my hand and then Jake, the bookshelf, and the books were all floating.”

 

Coulson nodded. “What happened when your foster parents got to the room and saw that?”

 

Hayleigh shook her head. “They freaked. I saved Jake’s life and they were acting like _I_ was going to hurt them. They’re the ones that hurt him! He loved to read and putting the books he likes on the top fucking shelf was an idiotic idea. Then they called the police and in that small ass town, word travels so quickly, there was a mob of people outside within the hour. They called me a freak and a demon. They told me to go back to hell where I came from. The foster’s locked me in my bedroom until you arrived.” Hayleigh laughed bitterly. “Which was also stupid, because hello? Telekinetic here. I could have ripped that door apart with a blink of an eye.”

 

“But you didn’t. Why?” He asked.

 

“I’m not a monster. I was hoping they would see that I wasn’t using my powers and let me stay, but then you and your team showed up and my emotions got the best of me. I should have remained calm, and I couldn’t. I’m sorry for that.”

 

“I’m not blaming you for anything Hayleigh. You were in an impossible situation and for someone as young as you, you handled it better than we were anticipating. I know you think we’re planning on locking you up, but we aren’t. I want to help you; SHIELD wants to help you. With us you can learn to control your gift, you can still go to school except it will be with other kids like yourself, and you don’t have to worry about being called a freak.”

 

“Kid’s like myself?” Hayleigh laughed. “So you have a school for gifted kids like in X-Men. Are you like Professor Xavier?”

 

Coulson chuckled. “No, I’m not. SHIELD does have a school for gifted but only a handful of people know, for their safety. I am one of them because I helped set it up.”

 

“Do you have a thing for gifted people?”

 

“I think gifted people have been treated like criminals in the past and they’re not. In fact, most are very helpful. Sure there are some bad seeds out there, but the good, in my experience, far outweighs the bad. And we are in a whole different game in this day and age. We aren’t alone in this universe and now, everyone knows it. It’s why I am so supportive of the school for gifted and it’s why I put everything I had into creating the Avengers Initiative with the director of SHIELD.”

 

“You helped put the Avengers together?” Hayleigh sounded impressed. He nodded. “That’s really cool. Even though I tried to fight it, some part of me knew that these powers would cost me the closest thing I had to a family. But even then, when I had accepted that these powers were real and weren’t going away, I couldn’t fully hate them. I think a lot of that had to do with the Avengers. They’re earth’s mightiest superheroes and they saved the world. I thought maybe one day I could save the world.”

 

“I don’t doubt that at all,” he replied confidently.

 

“I misjudged you, suit.”

 

“It’s okay, it happens often.” Coulson stood up and offered Hayleigh a hand. She took it and smiled gratefully. “You aren’t a prisoner. I don’t want to keep you locked in this cage like you are. We still have a few hours to land and if you’d like to roam the plane, get something to eat or drink, and whatnot, you’re more than welcome.”

“You trust me like that?” Hayleigh asked, slightly confused. Coulson thought for a moment before he replied.

 

“I didn’t, not off the bat. But Skye did. She stood up for you and she never backed down. She wasn’t lying when she told you she didn’t have permission to come in her. I told her no multiple times, but she didn’t listen, and it turns out she was right. I didn’t trust her like I should have.”

 

“Now you do?”

 

“Now I do,” he confirmed.

 

“Good,” she replied. “Because as shitty as my childhood was, it never even came close to what she went through. She puts on a good mask, from what little I’ve seen, but underneath she is hurting. And there is a possibility that that might get the better of her.”

 

Coulson digested her words. His stomach churned at the image of Skye alone, bleeding in a motel bathroom. “I don’t want that for her.”

 

“Then don’t give up on her. And definitely don’t lie to her. She will shut down so fast that you won’t have time to even think about opening your mouth to apologize. Trust is big with us foster kids. If you have hers, use that to reach her.”

 

“Will it be enough?” As strange as it may seem to be getting advice from a 15-year-old kid, Coulson was out of his depth with this one. After hearing a part of Skye’s story and watching her crack on the monitor when talking to Hayleigh, it occurred to him that he might not be enough to help her. He wanted to help her, so badly, but could he?

 

“Because if you have her trust, you’re already halfway there.”

 

“Thank you Hayleigh,” he said sincerely.

 

“I should be the one thanking you,” Hayleigh replied.

 

He opened the cage door. “You don’t need too. I’m happy to help.” She nodded and walked past him.

 

They were almost at the kitchen when Simmons called him. He turned to see her and Fitz walking towards him “I have Skye’s test results.” She handed him the packet.

 

“Thank you Simmons. Would you mind helping Hayleigh find something to eat so I can take care of this?”

 

“Sure,” she replied enthusiastically. “Come on,” she said to the other girl. Coulson watched as FitzSimmons led Hayleigh to the kitchen. The two scientist were animatedly talking to the younger girl.

 

Coulson felt a sense of pride at how easily they talked to Hayleigh. As well as relief. He had no doubt that he had chosen the right members for this team. He spared the trio one last glance before making his way up to his office.

 

…

 

Coulson had one revolving thought on his mind as he made his way down the stairs from his office. Holy shit. He had thoroughly studied Skye’s test. He was impressed, which wasn’t a shock. What was a shock was her IQ score at the end of the test. He knew it would be high, but he wasn’t excepting it to be _that_ high.

 

He actually found himself angry when he saw her score. She could have been out of college by now, doing amazing things with her life, but instead she was passed over and ignored most of her childhood. Her intelligence had been overlooked and that pissed Coulson off.

 

It was late. Most the team had retired to their bunks. Hayleigh went back to the cage. He had approved FitzSimmons’ request to move the mattress from the cage and place it somewhere else, but Hayleigh shrugged it off, saying she didn’t mind sleeping in there.

 

He should have come down earlier, but after seeing the test, he needed time to think. And to calm down. He suspected Skye still wanted to be alone, as well. No one had seen her since she left the cage. Coulson was worried, but just like with Hayleigh, he didn’t want to crowd her.

 

He knocked softly on her bunk door. Several moments of silence passed. He gently knocked again. When there still wasn’t a response, he turned to leave. If she was asleep, he didn’t want to risk waking her by opening the door (which was probably locked anyway). And if she was awake, she obviously didn’t want to be bothered.

 

He was halfway to the stairs when he heard a click followed by her door sliding open. She had changed into her pajamas, her long hair was pulled into a ponytail, and her eyes were puffy from crying. She gave him a tired smile and stepped out of the doorway, signaling that it was okay for him to come in.

 

He looked around her bunk. There were wires everywhere. They were neatly hidden or pinned up to prevent them from getting in the way. Above Skye’s pillow was a picture of Trip taped to the wall. This was the first time seeing her bunk since she moved in. He respected his team’s privacy and did not go into any of their bunks without their permission.

 

Skye sat on her bed and touched the space next to her. He sat down and looked at her. “How are you?”

 

She shrugged. “Tired. It’s been a while since I’ve cried like that. I’ll be back to normal tomorrow. Can’t stay hidden forever, otherwise my mission will fail,” she replied lightly. He could tell she was deflecting.

 

“Mission?” He raised an eyebrow.

 

“Yeah, to give May grey hair before I leave.” She smiled. It didn’t quite reach her eyes though.

 

“Ah,” he laughed before his face turned serious. “Leave?” He didn’t mean to say it, but it came out before he could stop it.

 

Skye looked at her hands resting in her lap and mumbled, “I mean I’m not a SHIELD agent and Fury hates me. How can I possibly stay?”

 

His ears perked up at that. “Would you want to stay?” He tried to keep his face passive, but he would he a liar if he said that a part of him, a big part, didn’t scream for her to say yes.

 

“I think so,” she muttered shyly. This was a whole new side of Skye; he would admit that. It was the side she tried hard to hide. Hayleigh’s words echoed through his mind. He didn’t have a single doubt in his mind. Skye trusted him. If she didn’t, she wouldn’t have opened the door. She wouldn’t have let him see her like this…so defeated.

 

He grabbed her fidgeting hands and held them tightly. “If you want to stay, I will fight tooth and nail to make that happen. You are invaluable to this team, Skye. And to SHIELD. And if Fury doesn’t see what an asset you are, then he is a moron, just don’t tell him I said that.” Skye let out a breathy laugh.

 

“An asset? Me?” She asked. Coulson hated that she didn’t believe him. She said it in a somewhat teasing tone, but he could see it in her eyes, that she truly didn’t believe that.

 

He grabbed the test and handed it to her. “The last page has your IQ score.”

 

Skye looked at him for a moment before flipping to the back page. Her eyes went up and down the page multiple times. “I don’t…what?”

 

“Skye,” he whispered. “You have an IQ of 200. In my entire time as a SHIELD agent, I’ve never met anyone who has had an IQ that high.”

 

“So what?” she set the test down. “I’m nothing. I’m a runaway, a delinquent, a foster kid that no one wanted. So what if I’m smart? No one seemed to matter or even care when I was growing up. It was a hard lesson I had to learn, but eventually I did learn it. No one cares about an orphan like me.”

 

“I care,” Coulson said so loud and forcefully he was surprised he didn’t wake up the team. Skye looked at him wide eyed, with tears in her eye. “I care,” he repeated, softer. “And I will do everything in my power to help you. And if you want to stay on this team, even after you're safe, I will make that happen. I will take care of you Skye.” He looked at her through his own glassy eyes and hoped that she could see the truth in them. “Do you believe me?” he asked quietly.

 

Skye looked at him. She couldn’t hold the tears in anymore. With tears streaming down her cheeks and her lips quivering, she nodded shakily before collapsing into him. He wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly as she cried.

 

He gave her the one thing that she had always craved. The one thing that she was denied for most of her life. He gave her love. And as hard as it was for her, she gave it right back to him.

 

Coulson held Skye until she fell asleep and even then he continued to hold her. It was only when it got close to midnight that he laid her down and tucked her in. He spared one last glance at her before quietly shutting her bunk. He glanced at his watch. It was 11:50 p.m.

 

He didn’t have to go to the cockpit to know that the plane was already set on autopilot. Instead he walked over to May’s bunk. He didn’t bother knocking, he just slid the door open and stepped in.

 

She was sitting Indian style on her bed, gripping a picture that was taken the day their daughter was born. Melinda was holding their sleeping infant while Phil held Melinda. Together they stared down at their baby.

 

“That’s one of my favorites,” he said quietly. She looked up, not even bothering to hide her tears. She gave him a shaky smile.

 

“Mine too.”

 

She looked at the spot next to her before turning her gaze back to the picture. Coulson took the silent invitation and sat next to her. He wrapped his arm around her and together they stared down at the picture, like they did with their baby, and waited for the clock to hit midnight.

 

…

 

_Melinda never believed in love at first sight. She lived in the real world and fairytales held no meaning for her. As a kid she never dressed like a princess or dreamed of her prince charming. She was a very serious child and always believed there was a logical explanation for everything._

_Magic, make believe, true love…it was all a waste in her mind. Throughout high school and college, she had a couple of boyfriends, but nothing was very really serious. Nine times out of ten she dumped them. On the off chance that one of them dumped her, she just shrugged it off and laughed when the boy expected her to be heartbroken._

_No, not her. She was not that girl. She would never be that girl. And then she was that girl. Love at first sight was a real thing, but it didn’t happen like those silly little fairytales said it would. No, it happened much differently. It happened the moment her baby girl was placed in her arms._

_The entire world stopped for her and all she could see were pink cheeks, a button nose, wide eyes, and tiny fists. Her baby girl was perfect, truly so. If she could have abandoned the mission she was on and disappear with her husband and baby, she would have._

_Unfortunately, she couldn’t. She couldn’t betray SHIELD like that. She was loyal to them, no doubt, so she decided to stay with the mission. But she knew, the moment the mission debrief was over, she was done being a SHIELD agent._

_Being premature, Daisy had to stay in the NICU for a couple of more days after Melinda was released. Once she was discharged, she went home, showered, ate something, and was right back at the hospital. She and Phil rarely left until they were allowed to take their baby home._

_Melinda almost cried when Daisy was placed in the car seat. She blamed it on hormones, but the truth was she was so happy. Blissfully so. It was such an odd feeling for her. When they finally returned home, Phil and Melinda took turns holding the baby while the other cooked, cleaned, ate, showered, or napped. Which probably wasn’t the best idea._

_Daisy grew accustomed to being held which wouldn’t have been a bad thing except every time she was put down, she screamed bloody murder._

_Overall she was a good baby. She barely cried, she didn’t kick up a fuss when she needed to be changed or bathed, and more often than not she had to be woken up to be fed during the night. They were lucky to have such a good baby. But if that child was awake and not being held, she would scream until the paint peeled off the walls._

_They tried to break her of the habit, but one of them always caved. The few times that she woke up on her own during the night, she cried to be held, not to be fed. She was definitely a stubborn baby._

_“She gets it from her mama,” Phil teased one evening._

_“Ha-ha,” she replied sarcastically as she rocked the baby to sleep._

_The first time Daisy slept through the night, Melinda felt off about it. It was very uncommon for a baby to sleep through the night until they were anywhere from three to six months. Sometimes older._

_Phil could see the panic on her face. He sat down on the bed and took her hand. “I thought something was wrong too, but she’s fine Mel. Daisy has always slept longer than normal. I don’t think we should panic just before she slept through the night this early. I mean, she is our baby. Of course she’s going to excel.” He smiled at her. She couldn’t help but return his smile._

_“You’re right,” she admitted, slightly more at ease. He walked over and gave her a gentle kiss on the lips._

_“I’m going to start a pot of coffee.”_

_“Okay, I’ll be there when I’m finished in the bathroom,” she replied as she slipped out of bed and headed toward the bathroom._

_Once she was finished, she made her way to the nursery. Daisy was still sound asleep. Melinda smiled lovingly at her before stroking her head and kissing her forehead. “I love you baby girl,” she whispered._

_After Phil left for work, Melinda took advantage of her sleeping baby, and began to work around the house, cleaning and doing laundry. She wasn’t sure when she would get another opportunity like this, so she took advantage of it._

_In doing so, she lost track of time. When she saw that it was 10:30, she felt her heart drop. She immediately stopped what she was doing and headed into the nursery. Maybe Daisy was awake and just lying there, finally over the need to be held._

_The baby was still asleep when she looked in the crib. She reached in and placed her hand on Daisy’s gently moving stomach. It was then that she noticed the heat radiating off of her. She moved her hand from Daisy’s stomach to her forehead. “You’re burning up,” she whispered._

_She quickly grabbed the thermometer and checked her temperature. “Shit,” she whispered when the thermometer stopped on 102. Her baby was sick. She went into a panic. She grabbed Daisy gently. The infant let out a little whimper and buried her face in her mother’s neck. Melinda held on tightly as she grabbed the diaper bag and car keys._

_Once Daisy was in her car seat, Melinda took off to the hospital. In the back of her mind she wondered if she even remembered to lock the door, but at the moment she couldn’t care less. She sent a text to Phil on her way. She was sure she broke at least three traffic laws, but again, she didn’t care. Not when her baby was sick._

_When she finally made it to the hospital, Daisy was a little more alert and whimpering. “It’s okay baby girl,” she soothed as she took her out of the car seat. “Momma’s got you.”_

_In reality it probably only took about 15 or 20 minutes to get seen by the doctor, but it felt a hell of a lot longer than that. She felt so helpless. Daisy kept whimpering even as Melinda rocked her. She was surprised she didn’t burst down in tears when she was called back._

_She felt relief wash over her when the doctor announced it was an ear infection and it was common in newborns._

_After they left the hospital and returned home, she held her baby until Phil came home. She didn’t even care about spoiling her or how much harder it was going to be to break her of this habit. Her baby needed her. And in all honesty, Melinda needed her baby just as much._

It was 11:30 p.m. when Melinda put the plane in autopilot and disappeared into her bunk. She could feel the tears about the come and the last thing she needed to do was to cry on the controls. So she shut herself away, stared at a picture taken the day Daisy was born, and just let herself feel it all.

 

She wasn’t surprised when Phil slipped in a few minutes later. In fact, the relief she felt when he slipped into her bunk took her by surprise. She needed him more than she let herself believe.

 

“That’s one of my favorites,” he said gently.

 

“Mine too,” she replied. Her voice sounded rough. She looked at the spot next to her, hoping he would understand what she was trying to say, before looking back at the picture. When he settled next to her and wrapped his arms around her, she allowed herself to sink into him and relish the feeling of him.

 

“I see them every day,” she whispered. “Every time I blink or close my eyes to sleep, their faces are there.”

 

“Whose faces?” he asked softly, despite already knowing the answer.

 

“The men responsible for taking out baby. We stared at their faces nearly every day for two years. Nearly two years and I had no idea that they would…” she broke off and shook her head. “I was stupid. I should have taken it into consideration. I-”

 

“You weren’t stupid Mel,” he interrupted. “We had no way of knowing that these men would steal our baby. They were after us, she was innocent.”

 

“Having a baby during a mission was a lapse in judgement on both of our parts.” She muttered.

 

“Do you…do you regret having her?” his voice was tiny, vulnerable. It broke her heart.

 

“I will never regret having her,” she said without hesitation. “But I will regret losing her every day for the rest of my life.”

 

Coulson squeezed her closer to him. “Me too,” he replied. “I could never figure out why, though.” He said distractedly.

 

“Why what?” She looked at him.

 

“Why they took her. She was innocent. They never contacted us for ransom. They weren’t the kind of men to raise a baby so I doubt they kept her…she was so little.”

 

“They did it for payback,” she growled bitterly. “They could have abandoned her anywhere…or they could have killed her.” She felt her stomach churn violently at the thought of her baby dead.

 

“Don’t say that Mel. She’s out there. We could still find her.” He was trying to sound encouraging but she could see the defeat in his eyes.

 

“I don’t think we ever will find her Phil.” She whimpered. He didn’t reply. She didn’t try to keep the conversation going. Instead, they remained in silence. Heartbreaking silence.

 

When the clock struck 12, they both took turns kissing the picture. “Happy 18th birthday Daisy,” Melinda whispered.

 

“Wherever you are, we hope you’re happy.” Phil said quietly.

 

They spent the rest of the night wrapped in each other’s arms, crying about their baby and imagining her somewhere, happy, with dozens of friends and family around her, celebrating her day.

 

…

 

Skye woke up before 7 am the next day, which wasn’t a surprise since she slept most the day after her talk with Hayleigh. Oddly she felt refreshed and more relaxed than she had in a while. She couldn’t remember the last time she had cried that much or that hard, and as much as she hated being like that, she was glad she got it out of her system.

 

She grabbed her things and headed down to take a shower. She didn’t see anyone as she made her way to the first floor of the bus, which was odd. She was at least expecting to see May doing her Tai-Chi or Ward working out down stairs. She shrugged it off and continued her path downstairs.

 

After long, very refreshing shower, she got dressed, dried her hair, and headed back upstairs. Ward was in the kitchen making coffee. She put her bathroom toiletries back in her bunk and headed into the kitchen.

 

“Did you make enough for me?” she inquired.

 

“Of course,” he smiled before grabbing two mugs and filling them up before handing one to her.

 

“Thanks,” she replied, accepting the mug. The two drank their coffee in silence for a few moments before Ward began talking.

 

“I’m glad to see you’re feeling better.”

 

“Aw thanks robot,” she teased. He just rolled his eyes at the nickname but didn’t comment on it.

 

“Skye!” Simmons said enthusiastically. Appearing on one side of her. “I’m so glad you’re back. Well… you know what I mean”

 

“Yeah,” Fitz agreed as he appeared on the other side. “Things were too quiet without you yesterday.”

 

“Aww,” Skye cooed. “I feel so loved.” She swayed back and forth, hip bumping both scientists.

 

“Yeah, yeah,” Fitz muttered shyly. He walked around the counter and began gathering what he needed to make tea.

 

She turned to look at Simmons when the older woman placed her hand on her shoulder. “If you want to talk…about anything. I’m here. I can’t begin to imagine what you went through, but I’m happy to help you in any way that I can.”

 

Skye smiled softly at her before wrapping her arms around her waist and hugging her. “Thank you Jemma.”

 

“Ugh, get a room.” Fitz scoffed. “Girls and their feelings.”

 

Ward threw his arm around Fitz and pulled him close. “Come on Fitz, you don’t want to talk about feelings with me? That hurts.” He put his free hand on his chest in mock hurt. Simmons rolled her eyes, Skye snorted in laughter, and Fitz struggled away awkwardly.

 

“I’m starving,” Simmons said, effectively changing the subject.

 

The other three hummed in agreement. “I’ll be right back,” Skye said suddenly. She turned and walked away, ignoring the questions her teammates threw at her. Her teammates…she really liked the sound of that.

 

When she got to the cage, she didn’t even knock. She just pushed the door open. Hayleigh was laying on her mattress.

 

“You just going to lie there all morning?”

 

Hayleigh raised her hand and flipped Skye off. Skye laughed. “We’re going to cook breakfast.”

 

“You’re inviting me?”

 

“No, I’m standing here telling you randomly instead of actually cooking.” She replied sarcastically. This time Hayleigh snorted in laughter.

 

“How are you this sarcastic this early in the morning?”

 

“It’s a gift. Now come on.” Hayleigh stood up and followed Skye. When they made it to the kitchen, FitzSimmons were arguing about what they wanted to cook.

 

“Pancakes and cinnamon rolls are both to sugary for me.” Ward objected.

 

“Then eat some wheat cereal or something. I want pancakes.” Simmons said.

 

“And I want cinnamon rolls,” Fitz argued.

 

“Why not make both?” Hayleigh asked as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

 

“Because Fitz won’t eat an entire thing of cinnamon rolls, no matter how much he argues he will, and they will go to waste and Coulson hates wasted food.”

 

“They will not be wasted. Someone else will eat them!” he huffed.

 

“Why not omelets?” Skye cut in.

 

“I don’t know how to make them.” Simmons shrugged. Fitz nodded his head.

 

“Me either.”

 

“Well I do.” She smiled and began gathering the incidents she needed and setting them on the counter. Once she had the eggs, cheese, milk, butter, salt, pepper, bell peppers, mushrooms, and bacon she began mixing the ingredients while she waited for the skillet on the stove to heat up.

 

“Can you do everything?” Fitz blurted out after a few moments of watching her. She laughed.

 

“No, not everything. After I ran away, Trip and I moved a bit. We had fake IDs so we could work and save up before moving again. Once of the places I worked was a restaurant. The chef noticed that I picked things up quick. He taught me a lot about food and how to prepare it. I enjoy cooking when I have the chance. Even taught me how to hold a knife correctly when cutting. And it turns out, his lessons on how to hold a knife can easily be adapted when you have to defend yourself."

 

Seeing their looks, she decided to demonstrate. "Hold a knife like this," she said, while holding the knife with her pointer finger on top, "and it cuts through a bell pepper. Hold a knife like this," She then twirled the knife to hold it parallel to her forearm, "and it can cut through five guys in four seconds."

 

She then twirled the knife a few times while turning back to her cooking.

 

“So basically you can do everything,” Simmons stated. Skye just shrugged modestly.

 

“Do you cut through guys often?” Ward asked. Skye turned towards him. He raised an eyebrow waiting for an answer. She just winked at him.

 

“I’m surprised she didn’t cut through you when you two first met Ward,” Fitz teased. Skye laughed and Ward scoffed.

 

“I take it you two didn’t get along?” Hayleigh asked.

 

“Not at all,” Ward said at the same time Skye said “Nope.” She shot him a smirk. He smiled at her in return. She turned her attention back to the food in front of her.

 

Easy conversation flowed between the five as Skye finished cooking and while everyone ate. She looked around from time to time and couldn’t help but think of Coulson’s promise.

 

 _And if you want to stay on this team, even after you're safe, I will make that happen. I will take care of you Skye_.

 

She smiled to herself and though yeah, she would definitely like to stay on this. For as long as they would have her.

 

…

By the time they dropped Hayleigh off and were debriefed, it was dark outside. Skye, Ward, and FitzSimmons were eating dinner when Coulson and May arrived back. Coulson handed everyone a hotel confirmation paper. Skye looked at him confused.

 

“It’s been a rough two weeks so I’ve decided we could all use a break. The hotel we’re staying out is called the Whitmore hotel. Since it’s so late, the reservation will be for tomorrow and last until next Saturday. The rooms are paid for. And you’re allowed to order room service but don’t go overboard please. I’d never hear the end of it.”

 

Everyone gave their gratitude before heading to their bunks to begin packing. Skye lingered until everyone was gone except for Coulson and herself. She spared a glance at May before she, too, left. Skye did a double take when she thought she saw some puffiness around the older woman’s eyes but her back was already turned.

 

Skye shook her head. She didn’t even think May was capable of crying. She smiled at Coulson. “Thank you,”

 

“You deserve it. All of you. How are you feeling?” He gripped her bicep gentle.

 

“Better,” she said. “And about what you said last night…about me staying. I’d like to. After everything is said and done."

 

“Consider it done,” Coulson smiled brightly at her. He squeezed her arm before turning to head to his office.

 

“A.C.?” she called.

 

“Yeah?” he turned around.

 

She closed the distance between them and hugged him tightly. Slowly, he wrapped his arms around her. “Thank you,” she mumbled against his suit before pulling away.

 

“You’re welcome Skye.” She gave him one more smile before heading to her bunk to pack.

 

…

 

Once Skye was sure everyone was asleep, she slipped out of her bunk and into the kitchen. She pulled one Fitz’s snack cakes out of the pantry, hoping he wouldn’t notice it missing. She stuck a small white candle in the middle and lit it with a lighter she found in one of the kitchen drawers.

 

She crossed her arms on the counter and rested her chin on them while she looked at the candle burning. She didn’t notice Ward walking towards the kitchen until he was right in front of her.

 

“What are you doing?” he asked. Her head snapped up in surprise. Man, she would make a terrible spy.

 

“Oh…um,” she laughed nervously and shrugged. “It’s kind of my birthday.”

 

He looked shocked for moment. As if he wasn’t expecting anything like that to come out of her mouth. Finally, he said “kind of?”

 

“I don’t know when I was born…” she whispered.

 

“Skye,” he began softly as he made his way around the counter.

 

“It’s okay, really.” She assured. “I’ve spent 14 birthdays alone. Trip was there for the last few and he always tried to make them the best that they could be, but until he wakes up…if he wakes up, I guess I’ll just be celebrating alone. No big deal right? I’m used to it.” she hoped that sounded more convincing to him than it did to her.

 

Ward pondered quietly for a moment before asking “You know what’s different this year?”

 

“What?”

 

He grabbed her hand and squeezed. “You aren’t alone.”

 

She gave him a watery, tear filled smile and shook her head. He nodded toward the nearly melted candle. “Make a wish,” he whispered. And for the first time since she could remember, she did.

 

…

 

The two of them sat shoulder to shoulder on the kitchen floor picking at the snake cake. “Can I ask you something?” Skye looked at Ward and smiled.

 

“Technically you just did, but yeah, okay.”

 

Ward laughed and shook his head. “What happened to your parents?”

 

Skye picked a piece of the cake with her thumb and forefinger and ate it before answering. “I don’t know. They left me on the doorstep of the orphanage. They couldn’t even wait for someone to answer the door and hand me off. They just left me in the middle of a thunderstorm. Fucking assholes,” she muttered slightly bitter.

 

“You’ve never tried to find them?” he pushed.

 

“I never saw the point. They didn’t leave a note and they sure as hell didn’t stick around for the nuns to see them and give me any kind of description. They left me swaddled in a dirty blanket. They obviously didn’t want me, so why would I put my time and effort into finding them?”

 

Ward nodded. “I can see your point.”

 

“The nuns told me I was anywhere from 4 to 6 months when they dropped me off. They dropped me off in September so every year I chose a day in either March, April, or May and celebrate my birthday. Next year I think I’ll go with May. I like May.”

 

“You know, for someone who has suffered the trauma you’ve suffered, you’re oddly optimistic about it.”

 

“Ward,” she reached down and grabbed his wrist. She looked at him seriously. “Did you just give me a compliment?”

 

“No,” he replied. “I just merely made a comment.”

 

“Yeah, a kind one. Ward you’re so sweet. I think I might send out a memo to everyone in SHIELD. ‘Grant Ward is actually very sweet.’” She laughed. Before she thought twice about it, Skye leaned up and kissed the corner of his mouth. Ward froze beside her instantly. When she pulled away, realization dawned on her. “I’m sorry,” she said quickly.

 

When Ward unfroze, her turned towards her. His eyes were dark and his face was serious. Before she could ask if he was mad, he cupped the back of her neck and smashed his lips to hers.

 

Somewhere in the back of her mind she knew this wouldn’t end well but she shrugged off that thought and wrapped her arms around his neck, returning the kiss with vigor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't wait to hear your thoughts!
> 
> Many thanks to Peter for all your help!
> 
> Follow me on Tumblr. Same username!


	7. Dangerous Desires

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! So sorry for the wait. I recently had to take the Praxis and most of my time the last few weeks has been studying for it. For those of you who don’t know, the Praxis is a required test I had to take to become a teacher. I, thankfully, passed. Sometime in the next few months I will have to schedule to take part two.
> 
> Quick note about this chapter. It is based on episode 1x08 so there will be dialogue taken directly from the episode. However, it is not exactly like the episode since there are things happening in this story that did not happen in the show and vice versa.
> 
> Enjoy!

_“Too often, the thing you want most is the one thing you can't have. Desire leaves us heartbroken. It wears us out. Desire can wreck your life. But as tough as wanting something can be, the people who suffer the most are those who don't know what they want.”_

_-Meredith Grey, Grey’s Anatomy_

* * *

  ** _Three Weeks Later_**

 

Skye never took her eyes off of the computer screen as her hands flew across the keyboard at an inhuman speed. Line after beautiful line of code appeared on the screen. After weeks of hard work, the new multi-layered firewall for SHIELD was almost finished. Which both excited and depressed Skye. She was excited because hello? She was only 18 and she built a firewall from scratch for a super-secret government spy agency. Maybe she could convince them to let her take care of the rest of the flaws in their system too? She wondered if she could list that on her resume.

 

It depressed her because the last couple of weeks had been filled with great big nothings. After the first two missions, she assumed that every mission would fast paced and adrenaline rushing. Apparently she was wrong. After their mini-vacation, they handled a bunch of lame cases along the lines of “scoop up that diplomat from the floor of that bar, he has information we need” or “we’ve received a weird signal, go check it out.”

 

The signal turned out to be an old microwave. How that happened she still didn't know. Skye had barely left the bus in the last couple of weeks. This firewall needed her more than Coulson did. And what was worse, that as soon as she finished, Coulson was going to start pilling on the CLEP tests. She groaned at the thought.

 

Every time Coulson brought up taking the CLEP tests so it could be written off that she didn’t need certain classes in order to get her diploma, Skye had managed to convince him that she wouldn’t be able to concentrate on them because this firewall was so time consuming. Finishing it meant that she had no more excuses.

 

Sure the tests would be easy and she could probably finish them rather quickly, but the point was, she didn’t want too. She hated school. She hated tests. Her experience with both have been negative the majority of her life and she didn’t really want to relive any of those memories.

 

Sighing quietly to herself, so FitzSimmons wouldn’t start with questions about what was wrong from where they were at Simmons' work station, so she quickly finished typing and encrypting the code before picking up her phone and hitting her speed dial number three.

 

After two rings, the line connected. “Hand.”

 

“Shoulders, knees, and toes…oh wait. That’s not how it goes.” Skye joked. She could practically see Hand rolling her eyes.

 

“You say that every time I answer the phone,” Hand replied.

 

“Because you always answer the phone so formally,” Skye commented nonchalantly.

 

“I’m a SHIELD agent.”

 

“Yeah, and this is your personal phone. Plus, you love my joke. It’s extra cheesy.” Hand snorted through the phone causing Skye to smile.

 

“Have I ever laughed at it?” she asked.

 

“Oh I believe you do. On the inside.” Skye replied, earning another snort from Hand. “Anyway, I was just calling you to let you know that the firewall is finished and completely unbreachable.”

 

“You sound awful confident about that. Must be the genius IQ you have.”

 

“Ugh, you know about that?” Skye groaned dramatically. She could see FitzSimmons through the corner of her eyes turn towards her. _Oops_.

 

“Honey, everyone knows about it. Coulson has been, for lack of a better way of saying it, blowing up Fury’s email demanding that you stay on the team after you’re in the clear. I think he even called Fury a moron in one of them if he didn’t see what an asset you were. And then of course Fury spent the rest of the day walking around and bitching about it.”

 

“Damn. I didn’t realize that this is how Coulson would handle convincing Fury to let me stay. Maybe I should talk to him and ask him not to be so forceful?” the last part sounded more like a question than a statement. Skye could hear Hand mumble something to somebody on her end.

 

“That would probably be a good idea. Coulson is giving Fury grey hair,” she replied when she was done talking to the agent on her end.

 

“Right…except Fury’s bald.”

 

“Exactly.” Silence fell over the phone for a moment before the two women started laughing.

 

“Okay,” Skye said through giggles. “I think we’re scheduled to stop at the Hub in maybe a week or two. I’m going to go over the firewall one more time, just to make sure there aren’t any weak spots. By the time we land, it will be ready to go. But for now, the temporary one should hold.”

 

“Fury’s going to want to know how it’s unbreachable.” Hand warned.

 

“Oh I know. And I got this. You should have more faith.”

 

Hand laughed. “Goodbye Skye.”

 

“Bye Vee.”

 

She hung up the phone and shut down her lap top. “So the firewall is done?” Simmons asked as she walked over to where Skye was sitting in the corner of the lab. Fitz followed behind.

 

“Yep. Do you guys have anything for me to do? Anything, really, as long as it will convince Coulson that I can’t take the CLEP tests.”

 

“Sorry,” Simmons answered.

 

“With as slow as it’s been, there isn’t much to work on, aside from personal projects,” Fitz continued.

 

Skye groaned. “I’m going to die.” She buried her face in her hands with a dramatic sigh.

 

“Well now that’s a bit dramatic don’t you think,” Simmons commented.

 

“No.” She replied shortly.

 

“Well I don’t miss the field, if I'm being honest.” Fitz said matter-of-factly. Skye chuckled.

 

“Of course you don’t,” she rolled her eyes.

 

“Just for that, I’m not sharing my chocolate with you,” Fitz huffed before heading over to his desk and pulling out a Hersey’s bar. Skye whined as she watched him open it and hand a piece to Simmons.

 

“Give me another piece,” Simmons said as she held out her hand.

 

“You haven’t eaten the one I gave you,” he argued.

 

“I know, but if I don’t get another piece now, you’ll suck that thing down like a vacuum cleaner.”

 

Fitz muttered something under his breath and broke her off another piece. She smiled sweetly at him before turning towards Skye and handing it to her. Fitz scoffed in disbelief as he watched Skye pop the candy in her mouth, causing the girls to break out in laughter at his expression. Before Fitz could say something, the lab doors opened and Ward walked in.

 

“FitzSimmons,” Ward called. “Coulson just received word of another 084 with similar properties as the one we picked up over a month ago.” He lifted his right hand, holding up a file. “This is the information we received of the new 084. He wants you two to study it and see how it’s connected to the one at the Hub.”

 

Simmons grabbed the paper and Fitz asked “Are we going to pick it up?”

 

“Not yet. There was already a team on the ground. They’re handling it. We are on our way to London to help with clean up.”

 

“Okay,” the two scientists replied before heading off to their own stations. Fitz mumbled something about seeing Thor and Simmons muttered ‘as if’. Ward finally looked at Skye, which surprised her. She figured he’d completely ignore her presence like he had since their kiss on the night of her not-birthday.

 

Well…it wasn’t really a kiss. It was a full blown make out session with some grinding. The kiss had started off passionate and only grew more intense. Skye ended up straddling Ward. Her arms were wrapped around his neck, her hands buried in his hair. God, she loved his hair. His arms were wrapped around her waist, his hands resting under her shirt on her back. He was constantly pulling her closer, causing their centers to grind together.

 

Skye was thoroughly enjoying the make out session, especially when Ward took to sucking on her neck which resulted in a hickey she had to hide the next day, but then it was like logic slapped Ward in the face. Before she knew it, he was gently pushing her off of him and standing up. She watched as he adjusted his pants to try and hide his erection, and comb his fingers through his hair quickly.

 

“We can’t do this,” he muttered before all but running toward his bunk leaving Skye confused and frustrated on the kitchen floor. They had barely spoken a word since. Only when the job called for it.

 

Skye spent the rest of her not-birthday annoyed at Ward’s abrupt departure and then she shrugged it off. He’d either get over whatever crawled up his ass or he wouldn’t, but she wasn’t about to lose sleep over it.

 

Now he was looking at her, really looking at her for the first time in weeks, and his gaze was so penetrating. So heated. She could feel her heart rate increase and her neck start to tingle where the hickey used to be. She could see his Adam’s apple move. He gave her one stiff nod and left the lab.

 

She got up and quickly followed without a word to the two scientist who were staring at her questioningly. How could she not follow him after a look like that? He either needed to give into temptation or stop looking at her like that.

 

“Hey,” she called as she hurried up the stairs. Ward stopped at the door that lead towards the common area. She hoped he remained there because she didn’t really want an audience. She stopped at the top step.

 

“Skye,” he said slowly. He didn’t bother to turn around. Color her surprised. She moved closer. His posture became tenser the closer she got. She stopped when she was as close as possible without touching him. She was so close she could feel the heat radiating off of him and smell his cologne.

 

“Can we talk or something?” she asked quietly. When he made no move to either talk or turn around, she continued. “We were doing well; you know? We were no longer at each other’s throats. We were starting to bond. So what we kissed? It’s not a big deal. I’m not a SHIELD agent so you don’t need to worry about policy or whatever. I’d just hate to think that whatever friendship that was between us could be gone because we kissed and you regret it and don’t know how to act around me."

 

Ward turned abruptly, causing Skye to stumble. He grabbed her by the waist and turned her so that she was pressed between the wall and him. She swallowed thickly. “I don’t regret kissing you,” he said gruffly. “And don’t you think for a second that I do. I could never regret that.” He stared at her with such intensity that she felt like she was going to explode. He lifted his right hand from her waist and cupped her check. He stroked his thumb across her bottom lip.

 

“Then why are you avoiding me.” She asked breathlessly. She looked at him with hooded eyes. He was so close. If she stood on her tippy toes, she could kiss him.

 

“Because I want to do a lot more than kiss you,” he replied. She felt her stomach flutter in excitement. “And I can’t. I’m a SHIELD agent. My life is about the mission. I don’t have time for a relationship. Marriage and kids is not and will never be in my future.”

 

And just like that, the moment was broken. Skye scoffed and pushed him away from her with as much force as she could. He looked taken aback for a moment. “Okay, that sounds fake, but okay.” She didn’t even try to hide the annoyance in her voice. “That kiss didn’t have any secret meaning Ward. It didn’t mean that we were a couple. It didn’t mean that we were on our way down the aisle. It was a kiss. Plain and simple. Relationship…marriage…kids…none of that even entered my mind. What did enter my mind was how nice your lips felt against my skin. Out of all the ways you could have handled your little freak out, you definitely chose the wrong one.”

 

She brushed past him and headed for the stairs. He grabbed her wrist, spun her, and jerked her closer. With his arms securely around her waist and her hands resting on his chest, they stared at each other with such lust that Skye was extremely surprised that their clothes didn’t just magically disappear.

 

Ward looked like he wanted to say something but before he could, Skye stood on her tippy toes, moved one of her hands to wear she was cupping his neck, and whispered in his ear. “You don’t have to be in a relationship to have sex Grant.” She stepped back, flashed him a smile, and headed back down to the lab feeling a little smug about herself. She wasn’t the type of girl to have one night stands and what not, but seeing Ward’s face when she said that made it worth it.

 

…

 

“Holy crap,” Skye said as she took in the mess left by Thor. “This is going to take forever to clean up.”

 

“Maybe Thor will show up and help.” Fitz said excitedly.

 

“Oh Fitz,” Simmons rolled her eyes. Skye just laughed.

 

“Don’t ‘oh Fitz’ me.” He huffed. “Oh! You know what we need to help?”

 

“A universal remote that allows us to fast-forward through the unpleasant stuff in our lives?” Skye asked.

 

“Oh, that was a sad movie.” Simmons commented. Skye hummed in agreement.

 

“No. We need a monkey. He could help pick up all the small things.”

 

“Good luck convincing Coulson,” Skye commented, nudging Fitz’s shoulder.

 

“Good luck convincing me of what?” Coulson asked as he walked up. May and Ward were close behind.

 

“Nothing,” the three of them said together. Coulson looked at the suspiciously for a moment.

 

“Alright, everyone knows the protocol. Make sure you have gloves when you touch anything. Ward stay with FitzSimmons and Skye you’ll be with May and I.”

 

Everyone nodded and headed their own way. Skye kept uncharacteristically quiet while she worked side by side with May and Coulson. Over the past few weeks Skye made it a point to not be around May. At all. Period.

 

If they were in the same room, Skye was as far away from May as physically possible. She didn’t have the energy to fight with May. Honestly, she didn’t want to talk to May, look at May, or even breathe the same oxygen as May, but she figured she’d have to deal with some stuff if she wanted to stay on the team.

 

May didn’t make an effort to acknowledge her either so at least they were on the same page. So for the next hour the two women worked side by side in a tense, awkward silence. If Coulson picked up on it, he didn’t say anything. He probably didn’t want to risk a blow out between the two.

 

Skye heard Coulson phone ring twice before he said “Coulson.” and after couple of moments “What kind of disturbance?” Skye turned to look at him. His back was to her. She didn’t know who he was talking too, but she was silently praising whoever it was. Only an hour of shifting through this alien crap and she was already done. “Alright, we will be there soon.”

 

“We have another mission Fury wants us on,” Coulson explained as soon as he hung up the phone. “A disturbance at Trillemarka National Park in Norway.”

 

“Thank god,” Skye sighed. May and Coulson looked at her questioningly. “I mean, oh no. A disturbance aww…” she trailed off and look to the floor.

 

“Come on, we need to get the others.”

 

…

 

The moment Skye walked into the room where FitzSimmons and Ward were sorting through more debris, she felt eyes on her. She didn’t have to look at Ward to know it was him. They hadn’t talked since their heated exchange on the Bus, but she had noticed his eyes seemed to follow her when she was in his line of sight.

 

“So no Thor?” Skye asked. Simmons giggled and Fitz huffed.

 

“No,” he muttered.

 

“It’s a shame,” she sighed. “He’s so dreamy. And those arms. I would definitely like to get my human hands on his Asgardian arms.” As soon as Skye said it, she turned and looked from FitzSimmons to Ward. He was staring at her heatedly. She thought about flashing him a smirk, but decided against it. Before anyone else could say anything, Coulson arrived.

 

“Alright, we have a new mission that takes priority over this. There was a disturbance at Trillemarka National Park in Norway. Two workers were making their rounds when they came across a man and a woman. They had cut down one of the trees.”

 

“Well that’s a bit odd,” Simmons commented. “Cutting down a random tree in a national park.”

 

“Well it turns out the tree was not so random,” Coulson explained. “They were looking for something inside the tree.”

 

“Any idea what it was sir?” Ward asked.

 

“No idea, but whatever it was gave the woman enhanced strength. She threw one of the workers into a tree. He died instantly.”

 

“Oh fun. A mysterious object that gives people super strength. This should end well,” Skye muttered to herself.

 

“May is setting the coordinates on the bus. It won’t take long to get there. Ward, Simmons, and I will go to the site. Fitz you will stay on the bus and begin analyzing the data that Simmons will be sending you. And Skye, I want you to be looking for any signs of this couple. It seems they aren’t worried about laying low after the park so sooner or later, they will make a public move. Everyone clear?” When no one objected to their assignments, Coulson said “Alright let’s go.”

 

As the team made their way to the bus, Skye couldn’t help but notice that Ward remained closer to her than normal. “You’re going to give me whiplash,” she whispered to him. FitzSimmons and Coulson were a few feet in front of them, but she couldn’t help but be cautious.

 

“What?” he whispered back. She glanced at him before elaborating.

 

“First you avoid me or three weeks, forcing me to basically have to corner you on the bus, which led to you giving me a silly explanation that I don’t really believe by the way, and now you’re hovering and you won’t stop staring. I’m sure if I actually asked you what was going on with you, you’d give me a flimsy excuse like the ‘I can’t do it because my life is about the mission and I can’t get married or have kids’ nonsense you spouted earlier.”

 

“I meant that!” Ward argued heatedly.

 

“I’m not an idiot Ward. That excuse was a ridiculous one. We were just kissing. That was it, so you can try to convince me of that fake excuse all you want. It won’t make me believe it.”

 

“Skye,” Ward sighed. She interrupted before he could continue, looking at him with narrowed eyes.

 

“No, you know what. When you’re ready to be honest with me, then you can say something. Until then, leave me alone. I’m not the type of person to stand there and take it when someone is lying to my face.” Skye increased her speed until she was next to FitzSimmons. She didn’t look back at Ward again. When they arrived at the bus, she hurried into her bunk and began searching for any signs of the couple.

 

…

 

It was a little less than an hour since Coulson, Simmons, and Ward left that Fitz received the data from Simmons. After they left, Skye headed down to the lab and continued her search. She was broken from her concentration when Fitz said “Holy snickerdoodle.”

 

She looked at him oddly. He was staring at his tablet. “What?” she asked curiously. She stood up and walked over to see what he was looking at.

 

“ _Whatever was in here was not of this world_ ,” Simmons said through the comms. “ _I don’t think it’s Chitauri…or well I hope it isn’t_.” she laughed nervously.

 

“Don’t worry, this isn’t a viral threat.” Fitz explained. “The spectrographic signatures match readings from…Thor’s hammer.”

 

“So it’s Asgardian…” Skye muttered.

 

“Yeah, definitely.” Fitz confirmed.

 

“ _I can see an imprint embedded. Hang on._ ” There was shuffling on the other end before Simmons’ voice came through the comms again. “ _I’m scanning for three-dimensional restoration. Tell me when_.”

 

Skye watched as Fitz touched some things on the holotable. “When,” he replied as he pulled up a three-dimensional, transparent model of what Simmons scanned. “It looks like a staff or a rod.”

 

“Yeah a staff that gives people super strength.” Skye muttered.

 

“It’s well-crafted and engraved,” Fitz continued.  “I’ll convert it and print a 3D model.”

 

Skye headed back over to her laptop and continued her search, leaving Fitz to his analysis. “Holy crap,” she muttered. She grabbed her laptop and headed upstairs to the briefing room. May looked up at her hurried entrance. “I found them.” She explained. She pulled up the news report. “Coulson was right. They aren’t hiding.”

 

May was quick to get Coulson on the comms. “Skye found them. They definitely aren’t hiding. We’re sending this to your devices now.” Skye glanced at May, who glanced back at her, before they both turned and continued watching the report.

 

“Well I guess we know who they think they are,” Coulson replied as the words ‘We Are Gods’ written in fire in the middle of the street flashed on the screen.

 

“What do you want to do?” May asked.

 

“We’re on our way back now. We need to find out who these people are and where they are. Skye?”

 

“I’ll keep looking.”

 

“Thank you. We will be there soon.”

 

Skye grabbed her laptop as May finished the conversation with Coulson. She was at the door when a hand wrapped around her wrist. She turned to look at the hand before looking at its owner. Her eyebrows twitched together in confusion. “Good work,” May said.

 

She narrowed her eyes and looked that the older women suspiciously. After a moment, she nodded quickly. May let go of her wrist. She headed back downstairs to Fitz. She was not in the mood to deal with anymore weirdness from May or Ward.  Pretty soon she’d need a neck brace if all of this bipolar nonsense continued.

 

Fitz was still working on the 3D model, so she sat in one of the more comfortable chairs before looking for anything more on the wannabe gods.

 

…

 

“Their names are Jakob Nystrom and Petra Larsen.” She explained to the team, gesturing toward the picture of the couple pulled up on the screen. “They’re leaders of a Norse Paganist hate group. Their numbers are growing thanks to what happened in Greenwich. And the internet. Yay, internet.” She muttered the last part sarcastically.

 

“Norse Paganist?” Simmons asked.

 

“Obsessed with anything derived from Norse mythology.” She explained.

 

“Stories of Asgard,” Ward said. “And now they have a weapon.” He picked up the 3D model and looked at it.

 

“Unfortunately, the scan only accounted for one side. There was too much damage to the tree for a complete reproduction,” Fitz gestured to the model.

 

“But it’s clearly been broken on both ends,” Simmons pointed to each end of the model.

 

“So there are more pieces?” Ward asked.

 

“Yeah, at least two.” Fitz replied.

 

“Oh great,” Skye muttered. “So Bonnie and Clyde are probably going to look for a complete set.”

 

“What about these markings?” Ward ran his hand up and down the model.”

 

“They’re asgardian symbolism. It’s hard to translate with our limited knowledge,” Coulson answered as he and May entered the lab.

 

“Maybe you could give your buddy the God of thunder a shout. He gets his power from his hammer right? What if this is his nail to the hammer?” Skye questioned. She looked at the model in Ward’s hand.

 

“I already did. Director Fury told me he’s off the grid. And if he has a cell phone, we don’t have the number.”

 

“Thor with a cell phone,” Fitz laughed. His smile fell when Coulson gave him a serious look.

 

“SHIELD’s investigation's on the trail of Nystrom and his followers,” May explained.

 

“We’ve been tasked with identifying the object and finding the other pieces before Nystrom.” He took the model from Ward studied the symbols.

 

“Where do we begin? They seem to have an advantage. They found this in the middle of 150 square kilometers of Norwegian forest.” Ward said.

 

“Guys, what if it called them with magic?” Skye asked excitedly.

 

May looked at her and deadpanned “Called to them.”

 

“Well we know it’s Asgardian, so the rules are a little bendy here,” she explained.

 

Simmons shook her head. “Just because we don’t understand something yet doesn’t mean we should regress back to the dark ages, talking of magic and fairy tales.”

 

“Actually, that’s exactly what we’re going to do.” Coulson cut in.

 

Simmons asked “Excuse me?” disbelievingly and the same time Skye excitedly asked “Really?”

 

“When we first found the hammer in New Mexico, I consulted one of the world’s leading experts in Norse mythology. His name is Elliot Randolph and he’s a professor at a University in Seville. We will head their immediately. Maybe he can tell us more about these markings. Does anyone have any questions?”

  
Skye raised her hand quickly. Coulson looked at her questioningly. "Skye?"

  
  
"It's not related to this, but it came up when I was talking to Vee and I figured I’d bring it up before we got busy hunting down these pieces." Skye began.

  
  
"Vee?" Coulson

  
  
"Victoria Hand. It was regarding the messages you've been sending Fury." Skye elaborated. She could feel everyone’s eyes on her.

  
  
"She told you?" Coulson gaped.

  
  
"It's an open secret. I wouldn't be surprised is the entirety of SHIELD knows about them, and my IQ, by now." Skye shrugged.

  
  
"What messages?" Simmons asked, looking between Coulson and Skye.

 

Coulson looked at Simmons as he answered. "I've been trying to convince Fury to keep Skye on after she is safe."

  
FitzSimmons’ faces brightened. "So you want to stay with the team?" Fitz asked.

 

Skye nodded. "That´s great!" Simmons exclaimed. They both went around the table and hugged her.

  
Skye hugged them back, "Thanks." She released FitzSimmons and turned back to Coulson. "So on behalf of Victoria Hand, and all the personnel assigned to the Hub and Triskelion, I´m formally asking if you can tone the messages down a little."

"What´s wrong with them?" Ward asked, looking at Skye intently.

"Aside from Coulson making a spirited attempt to blow up Fury´s mail box, he´s also taken to calling him a moron, which puts him in a bad mood. So Coulson, if you could at least stop calling him that, everyone who comes in Fury's general vicinity would greatly appreciate it."

 

Coulson smiled and nodded. May headed toward the cockpit and the rest of the busy busied themselves with different task.

 

…

 

Coulson and FitzSimmons left to go speak with Professor Randolph leaving Skye on the Bus with May and Ward. When he announced that she would be staying behind, she wanted to crawl into a ball and disappear. She was tempted to beg him to let her go with them, but then he would probably ask questions. Questions about why she didn’t want to stay on the bus with Ward. Questions she didn’t want to answer. So she just nodded her head, and went looking for a place to hide that was big enough for her and her laptop.

 

Once she found a decent enough place, she immediately started looking into Professor Randolph. It never hurt to be overly cautious. However, with everything she read, she had a growing feeling that something was not right about the professor. The more she dug, the more confusing things got.

 

Typically, the more you dig about someone or something, the more you'd find. With the professor, that was the opposite. The more she dug, the less she found. Which probably only meant one thing. Professor Elliot Randolph did not exist.

 

Skye might be reaching, but nothing else made sense. So she kept looking for answers, determined to find them.

 

“Oh shit,” she muttered to herself after a while when a thought hit her. “No, it can’t be. Can it? Surely SHIELD would have noticed this. But then again, SHIELD is full of morons…” she looked around her little spot. She shook her head and laughed. “Says the girl talking to herself.”

 

She started looking for evidence to support her theory, completely losing track of the world around her. It wasn’t until sometime later, when her phone started ringing, that she was pulled from her trance. By the time she grabbed her phone, it was no longer ringing. She had multiple calls and messages from the members of the team. Before she could reach any of them, her phone started ringing again. “Hello?” she answered.

 

“Skye, thank god!” Coulson exclaimed. “Where the hell are you?”

 

“I’m on the Bus. What’s wrong?” She closed her laptop and stood up quickly. Coulson’s panicked voice set her in motion. She’d never heard his voice that panicked that before.

 

“We’ve been searching the bus for almost an hour looking for you. I’ve called you several times. I thought…” he trailed off. He took a deep breath. “I was worried,” he finished. _Shit_ , she thought. She must have been so caught up in what she was doing that he didn’t hear her phone the first few times her phone rang. She heard Ward in the background ask ‘where is she?’

 

“I’m sorry. I went looking for a small, quiet, secluded place on the ground floor to research the professor and I lost track of time. I’m heading upstairs now.”

 

“Come to my office,” his voice wasn’t panicked anymore, but it was weak.

 

“Okay,” Skye said gently. She hung up her phone and slipped it into her pocket. She looked around, making sure she had everything, before she headed to Coulson’s office. On her way, she passed through the lab and encountered FitzSimmons.

 

“Oh thank lord,” Simmons said at the same time Fitz said “We’ve been worried sick.” They both rushed over and hugged her.

 

“I know, I’m sorry.” She replied when she pulled away from them. “I lost track of time. I’m heading to Coulson’s office now.”

 

“Good, good. When Coulson realized you were missing, he was frantic. He thought…” she trailed off and glanced at Fitz.

 

“Thought what?” she looked between the two scientist. When neither of them, she asked again. “What is it?”

 

“Maybe Coulson should explain it.” Simmons finally answered.

 

“Yeah, he’ll probably has more information than we do.” Fitz continued.

 

Skye nodded slowly. “Okay,” she replied. “I’ll see you guys later.”

 

Walking up the stairs and into Coulson’s office felt like walking into a different universe. All three of the agents were pacing. Ward was the first one to notice her. “Where the hell have you been?”

 

“Agent Ward,” Coulson warned.  Her eyes moved from Ward’s angry face to Coulson’s worried one.

 

“I was downstairs doing research. I lost track of time.”

 

“Why weren’t you in your bunk or in the lab?” May asked. “Why hide downstairs?”

 

She decided to hell with it and said “I didn’t want to risk seeing either of you.” She looked from May to Ward. “I didn’t mean to worry anyone, I just wanted to be alone without worrying about being lied to or yelled at.”

 

“I think we all need to take a breather,” Coulson sighed. “We’re all a little worked up and I’d prefer to avoid another fight. Skye, you said you were researching the professor?”

 

“Yeah,” she set her laptop on Coulson’s desk and opened it.  "How well do you know Professor Randolph?"

 

"Like I said, we consulted him with regards to Asgard language when Thor's hammer was found. Nothing more to say, and background checks came back clean. Why?" He asked.

 

"Then those check were probably performed by the same analysts who created SHIELD's firewalls. I've been looking into him and the deeper I dig, the more red flags pop up." Skye muttered. She pulled up the evidence she found.

 

"What did you find?" May asked.

 

"Simply put, Professor Elliot Randolph doesn't exist." Skye explained.

 

"What do you mean?" Ward asked. His voice was rougher than normal. She glanced at him, but his face gave nothing away.

 

"According to the records, Elliot Randolph died June 3, 1958, at six days old. And then there is this." She clicked on one of the photos she’d found. "This is a picture of Randolph, taken 1998. He looks exactly the same." She pulled up a different picture. "See him, in the corner?" pulled up a third picture and zoomed in. "That's Randolph. This one is taken 1964. And I can show you another half dozen pictures I found with him in it, all the way back to the late thirties." 

 

"How did we miss this? How is this possible?" Coulson pinched the bridge of his nose.

 

"My guess? Your guys didn't even bother looking beyond a very basic background check. As for how it's possible, well, he is an expert on all things Asgardian." 

 

"You're not suggesting..." Coulson trailed off.

 

"The staff got here somehow." Skye shrugged.

 

“It’s safe to say that he lied to you then.” May responded. “He probably knows where the rest of the pieces are.”

 

“Then we need to find the staff. And quick. Before he gets to it. Ward, can you go update FitzSimmons? See if they can decipher the riddles in the books.”

 

Ward looked at Skye intently before replying tightly “Yes sir.”

 

“I’ll be in the cockpit,” May muttered, leaving Skye and Coulson alone.

 

“I’m really sorry for worrying you,” Skye told him after a moment of silence.

 

“It’s okay. I overreacted.” He gave her a smile and squeezed her shoulder reassuringly.

 

“Why were you overreacting? FitzSimmons made it seem like you thought I was gone and never coming back or something.” Skye watched Coulson intently, studying his every move. Something felt off about the way he was acting. As panicked as he sounded on the phone and now how fidgety he was now. The normal calm and collected agent was nowhere to be found.

 

He gestured to the small couch to the right of the room. Silently, Skye sat down. Coulson sat next to her. “I haven’t been entirely honest with you,” he began. Skye was on edge instantly. If there was one thing she did not tolerate, it was people lying to her.

 

"I’ve been keeping something from you,” Coulson began. Skye tensed. “And that’s why I overreacted when we couldn’t find you. I thought you might have been taken…”

 

“Taken?” she repeated. “By who?”

 

“Marcus Vincent,” Coulson answered quietly.

 

“Marcus Vincent? You wanna elaborate on that A.C.?”

 

“He’s here…in Seville.”

 

"What is that asshole doing here? And why does that surprise you? I thought you had him under surveillance." Skye crossed her arms over her chest.

 

"We did. That’s one of the things I’ve been keeping from you.”

 

“Wait, one of the things? What the hell else have you been keeping?”

 

“After you tried to blackmail him he disappeared. We only caught up with him recently." Coulson tried to explain.

 

"Then here is your chance to arrest him." Skye stated like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “And that doesn’t answer my first question. What else are you hiding?”

 

"We can't arrest him. That was the other thing."

 

"What do you mean you can't?! I handed you everything on him and his organization! Even an organization as incompetent as SHIELD should be able to arrest him with all that!" Skye stood up and began pacing.

 

"It wasn't legally obtained so we can't use it to arrest him or dismantle his organization."

 

"Are you fucking kidding me?! You told me SHIELD would be able to use it against him. So you've been lying to my face the whole time?" Skye’s voice grew louder with every word.

 

“I’m sorry Skye. I really am. I should have told you, but Fury ordered me not too.”

 

“Of course he did. Even though I had a right to know that the man I pissed of severely had dropped from your radar. He could have gotten me any time in the last month and a half and I wouldn’t have known what the hell was going on." She stopped pacing and shook her head, "You know what? I can’t do this right now. You should have been honest with me. I thought I could trust you.”

 

“You can!” Coulson said almost pleadingly.

 

“Apparently I can’t. I grew up with people lying to my face. You were the first person, other than Trip, to be honest with me from the get go.” Skye turned and headed toward the door. She stopped right before she left the office. “It was nice while it lasted.”

 

“Skye,” he said dejectedly. She turned and looked at him. He sighed and looked up at her. “I need you to try and find out where the other parts of the staff are hidden. Work with May. She knows what the professor said about their whereabouts.”

 

She narrowed her eyes and nodded her head sharply. “Yes sir,” she bit out. This time when she turned and walked out, he didn’t stop her.

 

…

 

Skye headed down to the briefing room and began searching for signs of Nystrom while she waited for May. She had managed to pull up his deep web message boards and read through some of the comments when May entered.

 

“Hey,” she said calmly. Skye looked up from the tablet in her hands to May. She hesitated for a moment, eyeing the woman warily, before returning the greeting. “Find anything?”

 

“Just pulled up Nystrom’s massage boards. It’s filled with psychos that believe they’re going to ascend to be the gods of death and destruction.”

 

“Well isn’t that lovely,” May muttered sarcastically. She leaned against the one end of the briefing room table with her arms crossed. Skye looked the older woman up and down when she wasn’t looking. It was odd to hear the woman be sarcastic when Skye was used to her being so cold.

 

“Yeah people suck,” she commented after a moment of awkward silence. “What did Professor Randolph say about the locations of the staff?”

 

“Nothing really helpful. He spoke in riddles, which makes sense now. He obviously didn’t want us to find it. The first riddle was “east of the river, sun overhead, buried in the earth with the bones of the dead.”

 

“Wow,” she whispered. “That’s unhelpful and depressing. What about the second one?”

 

“It isn’t really a riddle. He said the gist of the passage was ‘close to god.’”

 

“Okay that’s just as unhelpful. Anything else?”

 

“He mentioned something about Viking raid routes.”

 

Skye let out a breath. “So there is basically nothing to go on. Great.” She began typing on the tablet again. Awkward silence once again filled the room. May was still leaning against one edge of the briefing room table with her arms crossed. Skye was leaning against the other end of the table furiously typing on her tablet. After a couple of minutes, it became too much. “Well I’ve got this so if you have somewhere else to be…anywhere else…I’ll be fine.”

 

Skye heard May straighten up and leave the room without a word. She let out a sigh of relief she didn’t realize she was holding. If there was one thing Skye was sure of, it was that she and May would never be okay. They hadn’t had any screaming matches since the mission with Hayleigh, but that didn’t change their dynamic. She highly doubted anything would.

 

Ward strolled into the room ten minutes later looking freshly showered and a little less tense. Skye didn’t look up at his arrival. Instead she continued reading the information pulled up on her tablet as he came to stand next to her.

 

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “About the past three weeks and about earlier. When Coulson told me about Vincent-”

 

“It’s fine Ward.” She cut in. “Water under the bridge.” He shifted and cleared his throat. “If you have something else to say Ward, then say it. You’ve never held back before.”

 

“I’m not good at this,” he sighed.

 

She looked up at him and smirked. “This?” she repeated. “I don’t even know what _this_ is so…”

 

He chuckled breathily before elaborating. “I’m not good with talking about feelings…or expressing feelings…well, I guess it’s safe to say that I’m not good with anything relating feelings.”

 

“Are you saying you have feelings for me Ward? Because it’s kind of hard to tell with ignoring me…and then giving me some bullshit excuse about why.”

 

Ward let out an exasperated sigh and ran his hand up and down his face. “You got under my skin from our first meeting, but even then I couldn’t deny the pull I felt towards you. I tried to stay away from you, to remain annoyed at every little thing you did, but somehow you got even deeper. On the night of your birthday everything felt so right. It was like you fit against me perfectly.”

 

“So what happened? And I swear if you give me another flimsy excuse, we’re done. I don’t know what we are or what we could be, but lie to me again and we will never find out.”

 

Ward crossed his arms against his chest and smiled. “You scare me,” he admitted. She reached out and grabbed his hand reassuringly. “I had a horrible childhood. The two people who were supposed to love me fully allowed my older brother to torture my younger brother and myself and then turned their back on me when I finally stood up and defended myself. Ever since then, I never let anyone in. The wall I had built up was unbreachable and yet you managed to get in in a little over a week. The things you make me feel terrify me.”

 

“I get it Ward, I do. I was bounced around, abandoned, and abused. I honestly don’t believe that any of my foster families love me. I’m broken and that’s ever going to change. I’ve accepted that and I’m not going to let my past stop me from living my life. What I feel for you…I’ve never felt anything like this. It terrifies me too, but I’m willing to try it out. The question is, are you? Because giving me the run around and flimsy excuse is not something I’m okay with. I have more self-respect than that.”

 

Before he could reply the tablet beeped. She looked down at the finished search for a moment before looking back up at Ward. “I have to go talk to Coulson.” She walked away without another word.

…

 

Coulson’s office door was cracked open. She pushed it open gently to reveal Coulson sitting at his desk with his head in his hands. He didn’t notice her entrance so she knocked quietly. His head snapped up. When he saw her by the door, he stood up.

 

“Sorry I was…thinking.” He finished lamely. “What’s up?”

 

“I might have found a possible location for the second piece of the staff. I couldn’t get anywhere with that riddle Randolph gave you so instead I started searching for Viking raid routes. I found some sites along the Volga River in Russia, some in Kiev, and weirdly enough, here, in Seville, Spain. It might be a long shot, but Vikings sacked Seville twice, so I began digging for possible locations. I found one promising location with Viking Relics.  It’s called El Divino Nino. It was a church built on the ruins of an 8th century crypt that was built on Roman ruins from 206 B.C.”

 

Coulson rounded his desk. “Okay, it’s worth a shot. We’ll leave right away. May and Ward will investigate and we can-”

 

“Actually sir,” she interrupted.  “Would you mind if I stayed on the Bus? I just need some time…Being on a mission with you and May and Ward… I just-”

 

Coulson placed his hands comfortingly on her arms. “Okay,” he said gently. “I understand.” She could see the hurt in his eyes, but she was still so pissed with him, avoiding May, and on shaky terms with Ward and being in a vehicle with all of them wasn’t something she could stand at the moment. She nodded gratefully and left his office.

 

It didn’t take long for Coulson to brief May and Ward. Once the briefing was done, the three of them left. Skye had made her way to the lab to hang out with FitzSimmons after Coulson excused her from the field tip. She was sitting in Fitz’s rolling chair when the three senior agents made their appearance.

 

May didn’t even spare a glance at them. No surprise there. Coulson said something to FitzSimmons that she didn’t catch before glancing at her. He gave her a timid smile and a nod. She gave him a small smile back, but made no move to say anything. When Ward passed the glass lab doors, he stared at her heatedly. She matched his stare and for a moment it was like they were having a competition. In the end, she broke contact and turned away.

 

As soon as the SHIELD SUV was out of sight, Skye felt like she could finally breathe again. She grabbed a tablet and started playing some mindless game to keep her distracted.

 

“Do you want to talk about that?” Simmons’ hushed voice broke through her concentration on angry birds. Skye sighed and set the tablet down.

 

“I don’t-” she began.

 

“Don’t play dumb Skye. I saw the look both Coulson and Ward gave you. And you are unusually quiet. Something it up.”

 

“I appreciate you being concerned Jemma, but I’m really not in the mood to talk about it. I just need time to process everything.”

 

Simmons gave her an encouraging smile and grabbed her hand. “Okay. But I’m here. Whenever you’re ready to talk, I’m here.”

 

Skye returned her smiled and replied “thank you.”

 

Fitz walked up moments later. “Okay, so I think I have an idea to convince Coulson to let us have a monkey, but I need your help.”

 

Skye snorted and Simmons replied “oh Fitz.”

 

As Fitz dove into his well thought out plan, Skye felt the stress of the last few hours melt away slightly. She knew eventually that she would have to talk to Coulson and Ward and she was not looking forward to it at all, but at this moment, she didn’t have to worry about it. That feeling lasted less than an hour before something new for her to worry about arose.

 

Thirty minutes after the older agents left, the SUV zoomed up the ramp faster than it should have. May jumped out of the driver’s seat and ran over to right side, back seat door.

 

“What’s going on?” Skye asked.

 

May opened the backseat door forcefully. “Simmons we need you. Ward touched the staff and passed out.”

 

FitzSimmons jumped into action at May’s words. Skye stood to the side watching helplessly as May and Coulson pulled an unconscious Ward out of the backseat and drag him into the lab.

 

Everything around her seemed to disappear as she watched Ward being lifted on one of the tables in the lab. Simmons was calling out instructions but Skye couldn’t make out what she was saying. She couldn’t make out what anyone was saying. Everything was muffled.

 

The agents were rushing all around her in what felt like a speed faster than humanly possible and all she could do was stand there and stare, because what else could she do? Her eyes trailed up and down Ward's unconscious and still body. He looked so innocent and vulnerable.

 

Suddenly all the anger and annoyance she felt for him evaporated. Coulson was talking on his phone, May was standing in the corner with her arms crossed over her chest and as still as a statue. Simmons was hooking Ward up to some kind of machine and Fitz was typing furiously on the tablet. Skye felt helpless standing to the side. All of her knowledge and all of her skills were useless at this point. She was in way over her head. She didn't belong here. She wasn't a SHIELD agent. She was useless. Fury was right. She was a problem.

 

There was really only one solution. She had to get better. She was 18. She was no longer a child. It was time to grow up. No more instigating fights, no more disregarding orders, and definitely no more letting her anger get the best of her.

 

She needed to pass her CLEP test so when things with Marcus Vincent and the others settled down, she could live her life. Maybe even go to college. She could ask Simmons to train her on basic medical stuff. She could ask Ward to train her on self-defense.

 

Her entire life was shit and she had been struggle to hold on since she ran away from her last foster home. She didn't want to be this person, this child, anymore. She wanted to be strong. She had gotten pretty good at deflecting her pain, but it was still there and it could still take hold of her.

 

She didn't want to deflect anymore. She wanted to embrace it. To be able to live everyday stronger with it. No more games. This is her new beginning. Before she could second guess her decision, she made her way over Simmons.

 

"What can I do?"

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks to my beta for all of your hard work on this chapter!
> 
> Follow me on Tumblr. Same username!


	8. Haunted Souls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Flashbacks and mentions of abuse and violence

_“People have scars. In all sorts of unexpected places. Like secret roadmaps of their personal histories. Diagrams of all their old wounds. Most of our wounds heal, leaving nothing behind but a scar. But some of them don’t. Some wounds we carry with us everywhere and though the cut’s long gone, the pain still lingers.”_

_-Meredith Grey, Grey’s Anatomy_

* * *

 

_Grant sat quietly in the hard, wooden chair. His hands were clasped tightly together in his lap, his head was tilted down, and his eyes were squeezed shut. He felt like he was going to be sick. His face was hot and his tongue was dry. He could feel the tears against his closed eyelids threatening to break free. He squeezed his eyes tighter, hoping to make the unwanted tears go away._

_It was times like these that Grant wished he had a normal family. He wished he had a father that encouraged him, a mother that loved and cared for him, an older brother that looked out for him, but he didn’t. He didn’t have any of that. The cold, hard truth was that it was because of them that he was in this position. And he was the only one who knew._

_He heard a door open. He looked up to see the twelve jurors enter the courtroom. Once they were seated the bailiff said “All rise for the Honorable Judge Harrison.” Everyone in the courtroom stood as Judge Harrison entered. “You may be seated,” the bailiff said once the judge was in his chair._

_“Has the jury made a decision?” Judge Harrison asked gruffly. Grant felt his heart rate increase. His hands were beginning to shake. His future was in the hands for twelve people- twelve strangers- that knew nothing about him except the lies his parents and their lawyer painted._

_One of the jurors stood up. “We have your honor.” The bailiff took a piece of paper from the juror. At that moment, everything seemed to slow down. He watched as the bailiff walked toward the judge with his future written on a tiny piece of paper._

_He spared a glance at his parents. They weren’t sitting behind him like normal parents would be if their child was on trial. They were sitting on the opposing side. He caught his mother’s eye. He knew what she could see. She could see the fear that filled his eyes just as he could see the hatred that filled her eyes._

_“In the case of the state of Massachusetts vs. Grant Ward, the jury has found the defendant guilty of attempted murder.” Grant felt like someone had punched him in the gut. He couldn’t move. He couldn’t breathe._

_He just stared straight ahead in shock. He could hear the courtroom break out in applaud and rejoice, but he remained frozen where he was. He didn’t want to look at them. He didn’t want to see everyone celebrating the fact that his life was over. He was only ten years old. The tears he’d been trying so hard to hold in broke through with a vengeance._

_“I hereby sentence the defendant to The Renaissance Juvenile Detention center until the age of 18. Then he will be transferred to the Massachusetts Correctional Institute for 10 to 15 years with the possibility of parole. Bailiff take the defendant into custody. Court adjourned.”_

_He stood slowly. His legs were weak and shaky. Everything that was happening felt unreal. He saw the bailiff walking towards him but before he got there, Grant felt a sharp grip on his arm. He turned to look at the person grabbing him. The look his mother gave him made him shiver. If it were at all possible, he was sure her gaze would turn his blood into ice. She gave him a cruel smile. “You got what you deserved Grant.”_

_“Mom-” he whimpered. He tried to struggle out of her painful grip, but it only made her tighten her hold._

_“You are my biggest mistake in life Grant. I should have aborted you. Everyone would be better off without you. Don’t contact your father or me for anything. We want nothing to do with you.” She let go of him and walked away without another look and all he could do was stare at her retreating form as the numbness slowly began to seep in._

Ward woke up gasping for air. He was covered in a light sheen of sweat and his heart was pounding. He looked around his surroundings quickly, slightly panicked. He was back on the Bus, in the lab, but he couldn’t remember how he got here. FitzSimmons were standing in front of him, staring wide eyed at him like he was some kind of animal. Simmons had a tablet in her hands and she was frozen mid-type. He stared at them, trying to remember what happened, how he got there and why he was shirtless.

 

His entire body was burning. He felt like he was on fire. Not being able to remember what happened angered him. FitzSimmons staring at him, like they were doing now, angered him. Why was he so angry? He needed to punch something, anything. His stare turned into a hostile glare when the two scientist remained quiet and continued to stare. His hands balled into fists. Before he could say anything, two small hands wrapped around his arm.

 

He turned and looked at Skye. She was watching him with concern in her eyes. He felt himself calm a little. “Hey,” she said quietly. “You’re okay. You’re safe.”

 

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes as he let himself revel in the sound of her voice. One of her hands remained on his arm and the other moved down to gently rub his hand until he unclenched them. When he did, she entangled their fingers. He held on to her small hand tightly, as if she were the only thing holding him down and keeping him from exploding in anger.

 

Once he was calm enough, he opened his eyes. “What happened?” he asked FitzSimmons gruffly. Skye’s hand on his arm began running up and down soothingly.

 

“When you were at the church, you touched the staff accidentally when you went to take it from Professor Randolph.” Simmons explained.

 

“He was there?”

 

“You don’t remember?” Fitz asked hesitantly.

 

“No, obviously I don’t remember. That’s why I’m asking.” He growled. He watched as Fitz’s face fell and his gut twitched in guilt.

 

Simmons cleared her throat. “Skye was right about her theory of him being the Asgardian that brought the staff to Earth. He got to it right before you, May, and Coulson showed up. After you touched it, you passed out. He tried to run, but Nystrom and his people caught up with him and took the staff. May and Coulson helped you into the backseat of the SUV and then cuffed Randolph and put him in the trunk. Once you were here and on the table, they brought him into the cage.”

 

“Pull the camera feed up,” he demanded.

 

“Ward-” Simmons tried.

 

“I said pull the feed up,” he snapped aggressively. Simmons jumped and quickly typed something on the tablet. The camera feed to the cage appeared on the big monitor.

 

“You can give up the act Professor,” Coulson said. “We know you’re the Asgardian that brought the staff.”

 

The professor looked at him in shock. “Wha- no. I just wanted to study it.” He argued unconvincingly.

 

“You’re lying. I have an expert on my team that is really good at digging up secrets and connecting the dots. It didn’t take her long, once she started looking into you, to figure out you aren’t who you say you are. One of my men is injured because of this thing so I suggest you start being honest.”

 

Randolph sighed. “I didn’t mean for any of this to happen.” Before he could continue, the monitor was turned off.

 

He looked at Simmons with hostile eyes. “What are you doing?” he growled.

 

“Ward, your heart race is rising and your adrenaline is spiking,” Simmons warned evenly. “I need you to remain calm. We still don’t know the full effects that the staff had on you and losing control like this won’t end well. I was thinking of giving you 10cc of benzodiazepine.”

 

“A chill pill…” Fitz muttered from the other side of the room. “Great.”

 

“A sedative? I don’t think so. I don’t need a fucking sedative.” He hissed. Skye tugged on his hand, pulling his attention from Simmons.

 

“Hey,” she said quietly. “They’re just trying to help.”

 

“Well I don’t need any help,” he yelled before jerking out of her grasp. Skye let go of him and took a step back. He immediately missed the contact but was too angry to let it show. He slid off of the tabled and pulled the monitoring equipment off of him. He tossed it on the table, grabbed his shirt, and left the lab.

 

“Ward!” Skye called as she hurried after him. He spun to face her.

 

“Don’t!” He said before she could open her mouth. “I’m practically vibrating in anger. All I see is red. If I don’t leave, I will say something hurtful to you. So get away from me.” He snarled.

 

She nodded hesitantly before she turned back to the lab. Before she went through the doors, she turned toward him and “I’m here if you want to talk. When you’re ready.” He didn’t give her a response and she didn’t wait for one. She went back into the lab without another word.

 

He let out a deep breath, rolled his shoulders, and rubbed his face. He needed a punching bag as soon as possible.

_._...

 

Coulson headed toward the cage with the manila folder Skye had given him a few minutes ago. Things have been stressful to say the least. Ward was down for the count. The staff was having a dangerous effect on him. When Coulson brought up running more test on him, FitzSimmons’ were reluctant. Neither one of them made a move to go and get the senior agent. Skye was the one that suggested giving Ward sometime to calm down. So for now, Ward was in his bunk.

 

And speaking of Skye. Things between them were rocky. She seemed more closed off than usual and Coulson couldn’t blame her. He did exactly what Hayleigh warned him against. He kept something from her and he broke her trust. Even if he was doing it to protect her. He wanted to make things right with her, but with everything else going on, he rarely found a moment of free time.

 

And then May was a completely different story. Ever since Daisy’s birthday and the moment they had in her bunk, she’s been extremely cold and shut down. Coulson was really starting to worry about her, but she wouldn’t let him close enough to help. He knew this birthday had to be harder for her. He knew it was for him. Usually he spent Daisy’s birthday looking through the few pictures he had of her, alone in whatever place he was living. This was the first birthday he spent with May. Ever. And it was hard.

 

It was killing him. He was watching her disintegrate and he couldn’t do a damn thing about it. There was only one person in the world who could help her and she was gone. Disappeared without a trace and it didn’t matter how much searching Coulson did, he couldn’t find any solid lead. In this world miracles were possible, but Coulson was coming to accept that a miracle of that extent was impossible. And he was going to lose May because of that.

 

Coulson paused at the cage door and took a deep breath. He needed to focus. He had one shot to get the location of the final piece of the staff from the professor. He couldn’t afford to be distracted. There was nothing he could do about his problems at this point in time. So he cleared his mind and composed his face. With one final, deep breath, he grabbed the door handle and turned it.

 

Professor Randolph looked at Coulson the moment he opened the door to the cage. He didn’t say anything to the Asgardian. He simply set down the manila folder he was holding onto the table. Randolph looked at the folder for a second before looking back at Coulson. “What’s that?” he asked nonchalantly.

 

“That,” Coulson gestured to the folder. “Is everything that my expert found on you. Every ounce of proof that Elliot Randolph is dead and that you assumed his identity to hide your Asgardian nature. We have a digital copy as well as that hard copy. One press of a button and all of that information will be released into the world.”

 

Randolph grabbed the folder and flipped through it quickly. His face remained calm, but Coulson could tell from his body language that he was anything but. “Why are you showing this to me?”

 

“To prove that we have it,” Coulson replied simply. He unbuttoned his blazer and sat down across from Randolph.

 

“If you release this, everything I’ve worked so hard for will be for nothing. I’ll have to give up my life. Disappear. Maybe even go back to Asgard.” Randolph was trying to come off calm, but Coulson could hear the hint of pleading desperation in his voice.

 

“Oh I know. That’s why I’m going to give you a choice. Bring us to the third piece of the staff and we will burn that file and erase any piece of evidence on the internet. No one will ever be able to discover your secret.” Blackmail was something that was taught as an effective tool to use in the academy, but it’s not one that Coulson liked to use often. He was, however, prone to exceptions.

 

Randolph closed the file and looked at Coulson. “You know I can break these chains with a flick of my wrist right?”

 

“I do. I also know that if you do, my expert will release the file. She’s watching as we speak. Waiting for the signal.” He gestured to the camera in the cage to emphasis his point.

 

Both men sat in silence for a moment before Randolph finally said “I’ll take you to the staff, but I want your word that every piece of evidence that can be used to prove I’m Asgardian will be erased.”

 

“You have my word professor. You can even watch if you want to.” Coulson offered Randolph his hand. “Do we have a deal?”

 

The professor shook his hand firmly, shattering the handcuffs in the process. “Yes.” He replied.

 

…

 

Coulson left the cage once Randolph gave him the location of the staff. Everyone had cleared out of the briefing room. His first stop was Ward’s bunk. He knocked three times.

 

“What?” Ward snapped. Coulson slid the door open. Ward stood from his bed in surprise. “Sorry sir,” he said gruffly.

 

Coulson held up his hand and shook his head. “No need to apologize Agent Ward. You can’t help what’s happening to you. That’s why I wanted to talk to you. We have the location of the third piece of the staff. Are you up to going?”  


“You’re giving me a choice sir?” Ward asked somewhat skeptical.

 

“If you aren’t going to be focused then you’ll end up being a liability. I don’t want that and I suspect neither will you. If you need some time, I understand,” Coulson explained.

 

Ward thought for a moment before he sighed and sat on his bed. He rubbed his hands over his face. “I think I should stay here sir. I’m not focused, I can’t control the anger, and the way I treated FitzSimmons and Skye in the lab…I won’t be of any help to you.”

 

“The fact that you’re admitting that to me tells me different Ward. I think you have a better grasp on this then you realize, but I respect your decision. Agent May and I will take the professor and pick up the staff. FitzSimmons and Skye are going to stay here with you. Nystrom and his people seem to be getting to these pieces pretty quickly and I don’t want FitzSimmons and Skye in the field in case they show up. Are you okay with that?”

 

Ward nodded.

 

“Alright, it shouldn’t be too much longer before we’re at the location. Let me know if you need anything.”

 

“Yes sir. Thank you,” he said stiffly. Coulson just nodded and left his bunk.

 

His next stop was the cockpit. He sat in the passenger seat and waited for May to finish what she was doing before he asked “how much longer?”

 

“We’ll be there within the hour,” she replied without looking.

 

“Are you okay?” he asked softly.

 

“Why wouldn’t I be?” she asked monotonously. She glanced at him briefly before her attention was turned back to the sky in front of her.

 

He sighed and stood back up. “Forget I asked.” He paused for a moment. He knew he should leave. He knew he shouldn’t let his frustration get the better of him, but he was only human. Finally, he said “You know, I thought we were getting better Melinda. I never expected for things to be like they were in Providence or even before Providence, but I thought, maybe with a little time, we could move past the pain of the past. That maybe you’d forgive me. I guess I was wrong,” he shook his head in defeat and headed toward the door.

 

He was almost there when May asked “Forgive you?” It was quiet. Her voice was barely above a whisper. She put the plane on auto pilot and walked closer to him. There was confusion in her eyes as she looked at him and waited for an answer.

 

“For losing Daisy,” he whispered brokenly. His stomach churned. He’d always believed that losing Daisy was his fault, but he’d never admitted it out loud. It was indescribable, the pain he felt from saying it. So many different emotions crossed May’s face. Hurt, confusion, shock, anger before finally landing on anguish.

 

“You think I blame you for losing Daisy?” she asked disbelievingly. Coulson just nodded slowly. “Phil…how long have you felt this way?”

 

“Since Fury told us she was taken.” He answered quietly.

 

“Why?” May whispered.

 

“I told you I trusted Fury to keep her safe. I vouched for him. I convinced you to let him take our baby and then she disappeared without a trace.” He explained hoarsely. He tried to swallow the big lump in his throat before continuing. “Our beautiful, sweet baby girl is gone because I trusted the wrong man.”

 

“Don’t,” May snapped furiously. She cupped Coulson’s face in her hands. “Don’t you dare blame yourself Phil. Ever. I trusted Fury too and I’m sure Fury did everything to protect her from those men that took her. It isn’t your fault. It isn’t his. It was something terrible that happened, but blaming you was never a thought in my head.”

 

“I miss her so much Mel. Why did we have to lose our baby girl?” He looked at her, pleading for answers that will solve a mystery that will never make sense.

 

“I don’t know Phil. I don’t have any answers. What I do know is that Daisy will always be a part of both of us. There isn’t a day that goes by where I don’t think about her,” she broke off to catch her breath. The raw emotion in her voice had Coulson’s gut twitching.  “I miss her so much that sometimes I can’t breathe. I think about what our lives would have been like if we hadn’t of lost her.”

 

“You do?” May moved her hands from his face and wrapped them around his waist. She rested her forehead against his shoulder. Hesitantly, he wrapped his arms around her and rubbed her back.

 

“Yeah. I do. I think about who Daisy would have turned out to be. I think about the father daughter dances you were so excited about. I think about what college she would be getting ready to go to. And most of all, I think about where she is now. Is she happy? Was she loved? God I hope so. I hope she ended up with a family that cherished her like we would have. Sometimes, when I close my eyes, I see her. She’s so close and yet so far away,” May choked out the last sentence.

 

Coulson closed his eyes and tried to envision what May was saying. He could see her clear as day with her long, curly brown hair. She had her mother’s eyes, so full of wisdom. She had his nose and goofy smile. She was right there, behind his closed eyes. So close that he could touch her. When he opened his eyes, the illusion was shattered, but the yearning to see and hold his daughter remained.

 

“Sometimes I wonder if we’ll ever see her again. I know it’s been almost 18 years, but there is a possibility right?” he sounded more desperate than hopeful.

 

He felt her pull away. “Phil…you’re never going to find peace holding on to hope like that. Almost 18 years without a trace and nothing. You have to accept that our baby is gone.”

 

He stepped away from her angrily. “How? By shutting down? Avoiding the people that knew she existed?”

 

“That isn’t fair Phil!” She argued.

 

“Neither is you abandoning me. That only added to my belief that you blamed me. You ignored me when I reached out. What else was I supposed to think?”

 

“That I needed time!” She yelled.

 

“And after the first few weeks I caught on and I gave you time. But then you never reached back.”

 

She didn’t reply. She just stared at him in astonishment. He sighed and shook his head. “This was a bad idea. This discussion requires a lot more than a quick conversation. Let me know when we land.”

 

May nodded stiffly. He left the cockpit quickly and headed toward his office. He needed to be alone. He need to breathe and clear his mind or _he_ would end up being a liability in the field.

…

_“You got what you deserved Grant.” Deserved…_

 

Ward felt an unexplainable rage course through his body. It felt like he was being ripped apart from the inside out and nothing eased it. He’d been working his anger out on a punching bag for the last hour and it only seemed to make him angrier. _Left, right, left, right, punch, punch, punch._

His punches became more forceful and uncoordinated. Gone was the usually well composed agent. In his place was a ball of uncontrollable fire and wrath. The memories that flooded his mind every second since he woke up did nothing but fuel the fire.

 

_“You are my biggest mistake in life.” Mistake…_

 

His mother’s harsh words and hostile gaze replayed over and over in him mind. He spent years trying to bury the memories of his past. Years. And all it took was one touch of a staff to undo everything he had worked for. One fucking touch.

 

He wanted to rip apart Professor Randolph. He wanted to rip apart Joseph Nystrom. He wanted to make them pay. He wanted to make them suffer like he was suffering. “Fuck!” he yelled. He threw his hands in the air and paced in a circle as he tried to catch his breath.

 

_“I should have aborted you.” Aborted…_

 

“Son of a bitch.” He hissed before turning pack to the punching bag. His punches became harder as he strived to relieve some of the fury coursing through his veins. His fists were aching, but he did not stop. The more his fists hurt, the more desperate his punches became. _Left, right, left, right, punch, punch, punch._

He felt tears sting his eyes. Instinctively, he closed his eyes, causing the tears to fall down his cheek. _You’re so weak…_ the rage inside him laughed. “Fuck you,” he answered.

 

_“Everyone would be better off without you.” Better off…_

He screamed in agony and before he knew it, his left fist was connecting with the glass door leading into the lab. Pain splintered up his arm instantly. “God dammit,” he cursed as he gripped his injured fist to his chest. There was a small, but visible crack where his fist had connected. A part of him knew he should be worried about how he was going to explain that, but a bigger part didn’t care.

 

FitzSimmons and Skye were upstairs and May, Coulson, and the Professor had left to get the staff. That left him alone with the punching bag and no witnesses to see what his inner monster could do. Or so he thought.

 

“That looked like it hurt.” He closed his eyes and groaned as the familiar voice washed over him. He could hear her light footsteps coming down the stairs and closer to him. “Let me see.” He felt her small, cool hand connect with his sweaty, hot skin. He jerked away as if he’d been burned.

 

“Leave me alone Skye. I’m fine,” he growled. He turned back to the punching bag and began hitting it again. Every time his left hand connected with it, the pain shot up his arm. He gritted his teeth but otherwise ignored the pain.

 

“You don’t look fine. And now you’re just being stubborn. For god’s sake you’re bleeding Ward.” Skye tried to reason.

 

“Why the fuck do you even care?” he turned at her and yelled. She jumped in surprise but stood her ground.

 

“I care about you Ward. I hate that you’re suffering and I want to help,” she pleaded.

 

“You care about me,” he laughed bitterly. “Well you shouldn’t. Now leave me alone while I work off this rage.”

 

“Obviously, that punching bag isn’t doing the trick. You’ve been at it for over an hour.”

 

Ward stopped and turned toward her. He narrowed his eyes and stalked over to her. “So what?” he muttered. “It isn’t any of your concern. You don’t know what I’m going through. You can’t relate to me _Skye_ ,” he said almost tauntingly. “So do yourself, and me, a favor and fuck off.”

 

He turned back towards the punching bag, but stopped short when she said “I understand a lot better than you think. And I know that you could punch that bag for another five hours and it still won’t make a difference. You’ll just end up with messed up fists and more rage than when you started.”

 

“Then what do you expect?” he snapped. “I can’t just sit around and wait for this anger to dissipate because it won’t!”

 

She looked at him for a moment and said, “Hit me.” Ward took a step back and looked at her like she was crazy.

 

“What?”

 

“Hit me. Fight me. I grew up on the streets. I know how to fight. Your anger will dissolve if you’re fighting another person, believe me, I know. I’ve seen you and May spar a couple of times. I know what you can do. I can handle myself.” She took a step closer. “So come on.”

 

“You’re out of your fucking mind,” he seethed.

 

“I’m not. I can handle myself. Unless, of course, you’re worried about getting your ass handed to you by a girl.”

 

“You aren’t going to goad me into fighting you. It would be a disadvantage to you and we both know it. Go upstairs and leave me-” before he could finish, Skye pushed him. He stumbled a little and looked at her with wide eyes.

 

“Come on,” she yelled before she pushed him again. And again. And again. “You want to work out that frustration? Then fight me!” She pushed him and pushed him and pushed him. Every time she pushed him, he felt his anger surge.

 

Finally, he grabbed her arms to stop her. “Dammit Skye, stop!” She pulled her arm out of his grasp and pushed him one last time. This time he gave into it. He collapsed on his knees in defeat. He looked up at Skye brokenly and whispered “Why?”

 

Slowly, she kneeled down to his level and cupped his face. “It was the only way to get through to you. Since you woke up, you’ve been surrounded by a cloud of rage. I couldn’t help you unless I got through that cloud.”

 

“Help me?” he repeated tiredly. “I don’t need your help. I don’t want your help. Why won’t you just let me be?” There was no malice in his voice. Just exhaustion. His eyes remained on the floors and his hands lay heavily in his lap.

 

“You distance yourself from everyone. You tell them to leave you alone and they all just accept it. I’m not going to just accept it. I’m going to fight for you. I’m not going to give up on you. You might as well get used to that, because I’m not going anywhere.” She told him with a fire in her in her tone. She gave him a gentle smile and ran her fingers through his hair soothingly. “You don’t have to do this alone Grant. I won’t let you. I don’t know what happened in your childhood, but whatever did…whatever memories are haunting you right now…I can help. I want to help. Please let me help.”

 

“I have blood on my hands,” he argued weakly.

 

“Don’t we all?” she countered. “Let me in, Grant. Let me in.”

 

Hot tears spilled down his cheeks in streams. She wrapped her arms around him securely. He could feel himself breaking apart in her arms, but he couldn’t find it within himself to care how weak it made him seem. Skye rubbed her hands up and down his back soothingly and gently began rocking him. He rested his head against her chest and focused on breathing in and out.

 

“I’ve got you Grant,” she whispered. “I’ve got you.”

 

He had spent the last hour trying to dull the rage. His fists were sore and bleeding, there was a crack in the glass laboratory door, and he was emotionally and physically exhausted. All of that and the answer had been in front of him the entire time in the arms of a girl that had managed to surprise him in more than one way. He felt a small smile tug on his lip and relief began to settle within him. Slowly, he wrapped his arms around her small form and held her as close to him as possible.

 

…

 

Grant hung his damp, white towel on the rack in his designated spot in the bathroom. After his break down, Skye suggested he take a shower to help him relax. He knew it was a good idea, but he was reluctant to leave Skye’s embrace. It felt like she was the only thing that was keeping him grounded at the moment.

 

He studied his appearance in the bathroom mirror. His skin tone was paler than normal, the dark circles under his eyes were a reminder of how exhausted he was, and the angry red of his fists glared at him. The cuts stung and he could see the bruises forming. Briefly, he wondered what explanation he was going to give Coulson.

 

He grabbed his plain white tee and pulled it over his head. He didn’t bother doing anything with his hair. He was too tired to care how out of place it would dry. Instead, he flipped off the bathroom lights and left.

 

As he passed through the lab, he noticed that FitzSimmons weren’t there. They were probably still upstairs avoiding him. He couldn’t blame them though. He snapped at them unjustly and he owed them an apology. He continued through the lab and toward the stairs. His eyes momentarily drifted to the crack his rage left in the glass door while he moved towards the stairs.

 

He found FitzSimmons in the kitchen making tea. They were arguing over one thing or another. Or maybe they were just talking. Sometimes he couldn’t tell. He stood there awkwardly as his presence went unnoticed. After a minute he cleared his throat. The two scientist turned around and looked at him. Their gazes weren’t hostile or filled with anger, but they were cautious. Grant felt a pang of guilt in his stomach knowing he was the cause of their caution.

 

“Um I came to apologize,” he said hesitantly. “The way I snapped at you two in the lab earlier was uncalled for. The rage I was feeling was uncontrollable, but that’s no excuse. You both were just trying to help me and I treated you like crap. I hope you can find it in you to forgive me….” He trailed off uncertainly when their expressions never changed.

 

They exchanged a look before looking at him with smiles plastered on their faces. “Of course we forgive you,” Simmons started out.

 

“Yeah, we get it. The staff had a horrible effect on you,” Fitz continued.

 

“How are you feeling now?” Simmons’ voice switched to doctor mode. She studied him up and down. Her gaze lingered on his fists for a moment before continuing.

 

“Better,” Grant answered. “I can still feel the rage inside of me, but it’s restrained for now.”

 

“Fantastic!” Simmons said loudly. “Well we’re going to head down to the lab. If you’re feeling odd, please come find me.”

 

Grant nodded and gave her a timid smile. As they walked past him, Fitz smacked him on the back and smiled at him. Grant couldn’t find it in his heart to be annoyed at his friendly excitement. He turned to watch them walk away, but his gaze immediately went to Skye. She was leaning against her bunk door with her arms crossed over her chest. She smiled and said something to FitzSimmons before she turned her warm gaze to him.

 

He felt his heart rate increase and he wondered how this was even possible. How could someone as kind and empathetic as Skye care about someone as worthless and broken as him. He knew what his future entailed. He’s known since he was a kid. He is Grant Douglas Ward, the useless disappointment of a son of Senator David Ward and his wife Marianne. The boy who failed to protect his younger brother. The boy who didn’t deserve to be loved.

 

His own parents hated him. They wished he would have been a miscarriage or that they had had an abortion. The world and everyone in it would have been better off without him. He knew this. He heard it from his parents and brother so much that he had no choice to believe it. So he couldn’t fathom how Skye could look at him with her warm, open gaze.

 

She was an orphan. Her broken childhood rivalled his. He didn’t know the full details, but he did know that her childhood was probably even worse than his, and yet she was so full of light and love. She was wasting her time with him and he wanted to tell her to give up and leave while she could, but the selfish part of him wanted to hold onto her for as long as she was there.

 

She made him feel whole again. She made him forget the demons of his past. When he was around her, he was actually happy. He didn’t want to lose that. He didn’t want to lose her. Just the thought made him feel sick.

 

He was pulled from his thought when a warm, small hand cupped his face. He turned his gaze to Skye. She was watching him with worry clouding her vision. “Are you okay? You zoned out for a minute.”

 

“Yeah,” he laughed nervously. “Just thinking.”

 

She nodded and pulled her hand away from his face. He almost whined in protest, but quickly swallowed it when he felt both her hands cup his more injured fist. “Come on,” she urged him gently to follow her. “I’ll wrap this for you.” She led him to her bunk. He sat on the bed as she ran to get the closest first aid kit. He looked around her bunk and couldn’t help but smile.

 

This was the first time he’d been in here. The bunk felt so…Skye. That was the only way he could really describe it. She had several wires connected to several devices nearly organized and cleverly placed out of the way. Her walls and surface space were filled with different knick knacks from all over that she, he was assuming, had picked up her years on the road.

Her bunk had a very homey and soothing vibe.

 

He ran his fingers over a dancing Hula girl on her window seal and smiled. “I got that in California.”

 

Grant turned to see Skye shutting the door of her bunk. She held the first aid kit in her left hand. “It fits you. Your entire bunk does.”

 

“It’s just a bunch of junk,” she shrugged as she sat next to him and opened the first aid kit. She set it on her bed and began pulling out the supplies she would need.

 

“I don’t think it’s junk. I mean this stuff must have meant something to you if you decided to keep it.”

 

Skye poured some alcohol on a cotton ball and grabbed the fist he punched into the glass. Gently, she began dabbing his cuts and bruises. It stung, but he made no indication of it. “Most of this stuff I got when Trip and I were on the road. We never stayed in a place long. Usually it was just a couple of months. Long enough to save up enough money to move to the next town. We’d work in diners, restaurants or bars and stay in cheap motels.”

 

Grant watched Skye intently. “That sounds like a hard life,” he whispered.

 

She smiled sadly as she rubbed antibiotic ointment on his cuts. “It was actually the best part of my childhood. Trip…he made me forget the terrors of my past. He showed me that life wasn’t the hard ship that I thought it was. He told me that I was just dealt a crappy hand and from here on out, I was in charge. He saved my life.”

 

“He sound like an amazing guy.” Skye finished wrapping his left fist and switched to his right one.

 

“He was,” she replied sadly.

 

Grant placed his left hand on hers, halting her movements. She looked at him curiously. “He still is Skye. He’s not gone forever. I know that it may seem that way, but don’t give up hope.”

 

“It’s hard trying to hold onto hope. He’s made no improvement in months. Sometimes I wonder if I’m doing the right thing…keeping him alive while his body slowly shuts down. If he does wake up, he won’t be the same. He could end up bed ridden and eating through a straw for the rest of his life. Am I being selfish by keeping him hooked to those machines? Especially when the risk of being paralyzed or disabled is so high?”

 

“No,” he replied immediately. “You aren’t. You still have hope and that isn’t a bad thing.” He wanted to say more. He wanted to tell what an amazing and selfless person she is. He wanted to tell her that he’s never met a person with a heart as kind as hers. He wanted to tell her that what Trip did for her, she was doing for him. He wanted to make her see, but he couldn’t muster up the words, so instead he watched her finish working on his hand.

Skye finished wrapping his right hand without another word. Grant studied her, looking for any indication that he said the wrong thing. She grabbed the used materials and the first aid kit and slipped out of her bunk. Grant fidgeted anxiously as he waited for her to come. She was only gone for a few minutes, but for Grant it seemed like much longer. She slipped back in quietly and shut the door.

 

Grant stood up when Skye didn’t immediately sit back down. “I’m sorry if I said something that upset you. I-” But he didn’t get to finish his sentence because Skye’s hands were in his hair and her lips were on his lips and _oh god_ how in the world did he manage to avoid her for three fucking weeks?

 

His hands gripped her hips and her tongue ran over his lips. He didn’t hesitate to open and then they were on her bed. She was straddling him and he was holding her as close as he could and nothing in the world felt more right than this.

 

Grant moaned when Skye sucked his bottom lip into her mouth and nibbled on it. “Fuck Skye,” he groaned. His lips traveled down her neck until he reached the juncture between her shoulder and neck. She moved her hands from his hair and slipped them under his shirt. He hissed when her nails ran down his chest.

 

“You’re going to leave a hickey,” Skye mumbled breathlessly.

 

“Too late,” he whispered. He kissed the hickey forming before resting his forehead against hers. Her hands were affectionately stroking his sides and his remained on her hips, holding her close. His injuries screamed in protest, but he ignored them and gripped her tighter.

 

They remained that way until noises in the common area put Grant on guard. “I think they’re back,” he mumbled in disappointment.

 

“We’ll continue this later then,” Skye pecked him on the lips once more before getting off of him. When he stood up, she straightened his shirt. He smiled at her and tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear.

 

Skye opened the door and looked for any sign of Coulson or May before slipping out. Grant followed behind her. It was only a moment later when May headed downstairs.

 

“Ward,” She called. “Coulson wants you upstairs immediately.” She headed back up the stairs without another word. Grant smiled at Skye before heading up the stairs.

 

…

 

The silence that had settled in Coulson’s office was deafening. Things had been icy between him and May since their conversation in the cock pit. It only took about an hour and a half to retrieve the staff, but it seemed like it lasted so much longer with the tension floating between them.

 

On top of their tension, Coulson now has to deal with the unsettling feeling in his stomach. It began to form as they left the church with the staff. Something just didn’t add up. Where was Nystrom? Up until this point, they’ve been neck in neck with Nystrom and his followers and yet they were nowhere to be found at the church. Randolph made the comment that they were lucky. Coulson was not inclined to agree.

 

Coulson took a deep breath and rubbed the back of his neck. May entered his office without knocking and Ward followed behind a few seconds later. Coulson took note of the gauze wrapped around both of his hands. The crack in the lab door now made since.

 

“You wanted to see me sir?” Ward stood in front of his desk.

 

“Yes. There are several things we need to discuss. Have a seat,” Coulson gestured with his hand toward the chairs in front of his desk. Ward nodded and sat down. Coulson took note of his tense posture. “Let's start with the crack in the lab door.”

 

Ward cleared his throat. “I’m sorry sir. My rage got the better of me. I have calmed down since then and I’ll replace the glass.”

 

“There’s no need to worry about that Ward,” Coulson assured the younger man. “I just need to know if you’re okay. The next couple of hours are going to be crucial.”

 

“Crucial sir?”

 

“Yes. There is going to be a lot going on and I’m going to need your help to make sure everything runs smoothly.”

 

“I’m fine sir. I’ve gotten my rage under control.” Ward said confidently.

 

“Are you sure? Because Agent May and I have agreed that if you want, you can fly the bus and May will help out here.”

 

Ward looked at May briefly. She nodded at him. He turned back to Coulson and said “I’m sure. But thank you.”

 

“If you’re sure. We’re heading to the Hub. Director Fury has order us to pick up the team in Poland before we do though. They’ve finished uncovering the 084. He wants us to bring them to the Hub so FitzSimmons can help the scientists there try and discover why its properties are so similar to the 084 we picked up a month ago.”

 

“Alright, where do you need me sir?”

 

“Stay with FitzSimmons and keep an eye on Randolph. He’s with them in the lab to answer any questions they may have about the staff.”

 

Ward nodded and stood up. “Anything else sir?”

 

“No, that’s all. Thank you.”

 

Ward left without another word. May started toward the door. “I’ll set the coordinates. Take off in 5.”

 

“May wait!” Coulson stood up and rounded his desk.

 

“Coulson can we please not? There is too much going on right now to-” she didn’t get a chance to finish her statement. A loud crash cut her off. Coulson and May shared a brief look before they took off toward the source of the sound. Neither one of them knew that what they were about to walk into would be life changing for the entire team.

 

Coulson went through the door that led from the common room to the lab. May was close behind him. He peered over the railing, trying the gage what they were walking into. Randolph was lying on the ground, surrounded by glass, with the third piece of the staff sticking out of his chest.

 

FitzSimmons and Ward were kneeling around him. FitzSimmons were looking at his wound but Ward was looking at something inside of the lab. Coulson could see his body trembling with rage. His fists were clenched shut tightly and his face was turning red. As quiet as possible he and May stepped down the stairs. When his eyes connected with the scene in the lab, he felt his heart drop to his stomach.

 

Nystrom was standing in the middle of the lab, his girlfriend and five of his followers a few feet behind him, and holding Skye up by her shirt. Her two small hands gripped the arm holding her up tightly. Nystrom was staring at her in wonder. Coulson looked at May. Her eyes narrowed as she took in the scene.

 

His attention was pulled back to the scene in the lab when Nystrom spoke. “What are you?” he asked. His voice was laced with pure amazement. Skye struggled against him. Nystrom pulled her closer and smelled her. “So much power.”

 

Coulson saw movement to his left. He turned just in time to see Ward grab the staff in the professor. The staff lit-up and Ward screamed in agony before he pulled it out of the professor’s chest and stood up. Nystrom turned his attention to Ward. He passed Skye to one of his followers. “Hold on to her,” he instructed. “She’s very important to our plan.”

 

Ward didn’t give Nystrom a chance to prepare. He charged at the man and tackled him to the ground. With his gun raised, Coulson stepped into the lab with May close on his right. He glanced at FitzSimmons briefly to make sure they were okay. They were working on stopping the bleeding.

 

He turned back to the group of followers. “Let the girl go.” He demanded.

 

The man holding Skye gave him a twisted smile and held her closer. “I don’t think so,” he sneered. “Don’t you see it? The power coursing through her veins?” the man stuck his nose in her hair and took a big whiff. “I can smell it radiating off of her.”

 

He could feel May tense next to her as the man talked about the power coursing through Skye. His mind immediately jumped to Bahrain. He glimpsed at her. She nodded, reassuring him that he was fine. “She’s just a kid. She’s innocent. Let her go.” Coulson sounded more desperate than fierce.

 

Everything happened quickly then. Before the guy had a chance to reply, Skye lifted her right leg up and jammed the sole of her foot into his before lifting her left arm and swinging it backwards which as much force as she could muster. He groaned in pain when her fist hit in between his legs. His grip on her weakened. She lifted her right arm and swung her elbow backwards, successfully hitting him in the face. He let go of her as one hand flew to cup his face and the other flew in between his legs as he dropped to his knees.

 

One of the woman followers charged at Skye. She grabbed the closest thing to her and jammed it at the woman’s face. She screamed in agony as the pen went in her eye. That’s when chaos ensued.

 

In reality, the entire fight lasted no more than 5 minutes, but so much happened in moment that time seemed to stand still. Petra and the remaining three followers charged at Skye. May was quicker than them. She intercepted Petra and the followers before they could reach Skye. She knocked Petra into the wall before grabbing her by her hair and slamming her head against the table. Petra fell to the ground unconscious.

 

Meanwhile Skye turned back to the guy who had been holding her as she heard May yell, “Coulson we’ve got this! Help FitzSimmons!” He had recovered and was approaching her, completely furious. He threw a punch which she ducked and punched him in his stomach. As he doubled over, she used that opportunity to grab the heaviest thing she saw, and knocked him out.

 

She then mercifully did the same to the still screaming woman, before looking around and moving to Coulson.

 

Coulson had put his gun away and turned to the two scientist. They looked panicked so he put his gun away and kneeled down near them. “I don’t know what to do,” Simmons said panicked.

 

“She’s doesn’t know his anatomy,” Fitz elaborated.

 

“He’s losing a lot of blood and I have no idea where to even-” she didn’t finish her sentence. Coulson pushed up his sleeve and stuck his hand in the hole in the professor’s chest. FitzSimmons looked at him wide-eyed.

 

“Sometimes you just have to jump in,” he explained. “We know Asgardians regenerate faster than we do.”

 

“Right,” Simmons looked at the now plugged hole. “If we keep him alive long enough, he should heal.” Simmons began looking over the injury, Coulson turned to watch the scene unfolding. Skye appeared next to him then.

 

“Are you okay?” Coulson asked.

 

“Never been better,” she said, slightly out of breath.

 

“Of course you are. You kicked ass,” Fitz commented. Skye just shrugged and looked at the professor. Coulson took the time to survey the rest of his team. Ward was still fighting Nystrom. May had managed to knock one of the followers out and was holding her ground with the other two. They were winning…until they weren’t.

 

Nystrom managed to gain the upper hand. He punched Ward in the chest causing him to cough violently, drop the staff, and collapse on his knees. Before Coulson could see what happened next with Ward, a pained scream caught his attention.

 

He turned to see May holding her left arm. Blood was seeping through her fingers from the knife wound caused by Petra, who had regained consciousness. The two men she was fighting grabbed her arms and kicked her feet from under her.

 

“No!” Coulson yelled. He went to move but stopped when the professor groaned in pain. His eyes were wide and filled with panic. May was struggling as hard as she could. For a moment Coulson was sure that he was about to watch May die. His heart rate increased rapidly and a cold sweat broke out against his skin. He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t watch the love of his life die. Just as he was about to rip his hand from the professor’s chest and run to May, Skye stood up and ran towards Petra. She pulled the knife away from May’s throat, while punching her in the kidneys.

 

The distraction Skye caused was enough. May broke free and fought the two with more vigor than before. Ward gained the upper hand in his fight. He was moving like a man possessed. He managed to knock Nystrom down before he picked up the staff again and towered over him. He lifted the staff and jammed it in Nystrom’s neck.

 

He stood up, covered in blood with a crazed look in his eyes. His eyes zeroed in on Petra and Skye. Petra was on top on Skye, having overpowered her due to the staff’s influence, the knife pressed dangerously close to her neck. Coulson could see blood pouring from a wound on Skye’s left arm. The more she struggled against Petra, the more she bled. “You’re going to regret attacking me girl. I don’t care how special you are. I-” Before she could finish, before anyone could even react, Ward grabbed Petra’s hair and jerked her head back. A resounding crack echoed through the lab. All eyes were on Ward as Petra’s limp body fell to the ground. The knife clattered someone to the side, but no one paid it any mind.

 

Skye sat up with a pained grimace. Ward kneeled down next to her and gently cupped her injured arm. “Are you okay?” he whispered.

 

“Sir,” Simmons’ hushed voice pulled his attention away from the pair. “I think you can pull your hand out of his chest now. He’s not bleeding anymore and the wound is showing signs of regeneration.”

 

“Are you positive?” Coulson asked. When Simmons nodded, he gentle pulled his hand from the professor’s chest. As soon as his hand was out, FitzSimmons began cleaning the wound.

 

Coulson took the time to survey the damage done to the lab and his team. The damage to the lab was minimal and easily fixable once they land at the Hub. His team, however, was a different situation. May was tying up the followers that were still alive. Her wound was still bleeding, but she paid it no mind. Before he could tell her he would deal with the followers, she was pulling one towards the stairs. He inwardly rolled his eyes. She was so damn stubborn sometimes.

 

He turned his attention toward Skye and Ward. Ward was covered in sweat and blood. His eyes had this distant look in them and he was practically vibrating with rage which worried Coulson. One of his hands was holding the wound on Skye’s left arm and his other arm was holding her close. He was practically holding her up. Skye was pale and shaking.

 

He found himself wondering how this could happen. How did Nystrom and his followers even get on the bus? As soon as they reach the Hub, there would have to be some strong security measures installed. This was the second time this had happened only this time Skye and May got injured and the damage the staff did to Ward was even worse after the second time he picked it up.

 

He felt like a failure. When he put this team together, he made it clear that it was not a combat op. And it seemed like every other case they’ve worked on since they started was filled with combat. And now, looking around at his broken down team, he felt guilt weighing down on him heavily.

 

He promised May there would be no combat. Just like when he recruited her for Providence and just like back then, his promise turned out to be a lie. He couldn’t fathom why she was still here. Why hadn’t she demanded to go back to administration after the first mission or after the mission with Hayleigh?

 

He told Skye he would protect her. Yes, her skills have come in handy, but at the end of the day, the biggest reason she was brought onto the team was because Coulson couldn’t stand the idea of her getting killed for trying to do the right thing. And as he looks at her now, weak, pale, and shaking, he can’t help but ask himself would she have been safer without his help?

 

FitzSimmons weren’t cleared for combat. When he approached them with his offer he guaranteed them that they would be safe. That they would not face any gunfire or be in any hostile situation. He failed on both of those guarantees. They were the best and brightest in their class at the Academy. They were honestly two of the happiest people he’s met. They viewed the world with such purity. Would he ruin that if they stayed on his team?

 

Ward was one of the best agents in the agency. He was a little rough around the edges, but at the end of the day, he got the job done. He wasn’t keen on the idea of working with a team, but that didn’t stop him from protecting them with everything he had. And now he could barely stand on his own two feet. Coulson could see him shutting down. Would Coulson break the best agent since Romanoff?

 

Coulson couldn’t protect his baby and now he couldn’t protect his team. He felt this crushing weight on his chest. He needed to be alone. He needed to figure out if keeping this team together was the best idea. Looking at the state of his team now, he was leaning towards no.

 

“FitzSimmons,” he began. “How is the professor?”

 

“He’s okay. He will be 100 percent in no time. We’re going to leave him here just to be safe.” Simmons explained as Fitz slipped something under the professor’s head to make him more comfortable.

 

“Okay,” he nodded mutely. “I need you to check out May, Skye, and Ward.”

 

“Of course,” Simmons stood up. “I can do that right now. Fitz are you okay with the professor?”

 

“Yeah, I’ll just keep pressure on the wound until it’s more healed.” Fitz put his hand on Randolph’s chest.

 

“Keep me updated.”

 

“Yes sir.”

 

Coulson turned back towards the lab. Skye was sitting on the exam table. Ward was still by her side.

 

“Ward I need to get your vitals,” Simmons said from across the lab. She was gathering the stuff she would need to take his vitals as well as the stuff she would need to stitch up Skye and May.

 

Ward hesitated. He looked at Skye. Coulson watched as they had a conversation with their eyes. He made a mental note to talk to them about what was going on between them later. He wasn’t aware of anything romantic going on between, but he’d been distracted lately.

 

Finally, Ward nodded and walked over to where Simmons was. May re-entered the lab. “Nystrom’s followers are locked in the cage. What do you want to do with Nystrom and Petra?”

 

“I’ll handle them,” he replied. “You get patched up.”

 

“What about the team in Poland?”

 

“I’m going to call Fury in a minute and inform him about what happened. I’ll let you know what coordinates to set once I'm done.”

 

May nodded and sat down on one of the stools in the lab. Coulson pulled Petra and Nystrom out of the lab and laid them as close to the side as possible before covering them up. He spared one last glance at the lab before he headed to his office.

 

…

 

 It was a half hour later when Simmons knocked on his door. Coulson was sitting at his desk with his head in his hands. It seemed like he’d been doing that a lot lately. “Come in,” he called tiredly, while pulling himself back together.

 

“I was just coming to update you. The professor is awake and moving around. His wound is almost completely healed. I ran some more test on Ward. Physically he is fine, but mentally there is honestly no telling what he’s going through. He seemed distant and his reactions were much slower than normal. I would recommend some time off for him to rest and regroup. He’s in no shape to work on any missions right now. I just finished stitching up May and Skye. May is fine, but Skye seems quite shaken. I’d suggest giving her a few days off too.”

 

“Thank you Agent Simmons. How are you and Agent Fitz?” He stood up and buttoned his blazer before rounding the desk.

 

“We’re fine sir.” She nodded enthusiastically. “Honestly.”

 

“There was a team in Poland uncovering a 084 that had similar properties as the one we found. Director Fury requested you and Fitz to join the scientists at the Hub in studying it since you worked on the last one so extensively. However, because of just happened, if you and Fitz aren’t up for it…”

 

“We are. We weren’t hurt and neither one of us touched the staff,” she ensured.  “Are we picking up the team on our way to the Hub?”

 

“Not anymore. Director Fury sent an extraction team to get them. We’re going to fly straight to the Hub. We should arrive sometime tonight and tomorrow you and Fitz will report to the lab.”

 

“Yes sir,” she nodded. “Anything else?”  


“No. Thank you Agent Simmons.”

 

“You’re welcome.”

 

…

 

 

A few minutes after Simmons left, Coulson found himself walking down the stairs to the lab. May and Skye were the only ones in the lab. May was standing up and Skye was sitting on the exam table swinging her legs back and forth. Skye looked a little better than before, but still pale. Before he could make his presence known, Skye started talking.

 

“We have matching wounds,” Skye said offhandedly. She was looking around distractedly. May looked at Skye for a moment before taking a step closer to Skye.

 

“You did well tonight Skye.” May was almost hesitant with the statement.

 

Skye stopped swinging her legs and looked at May, slightly taken aback at the older woman’s comment. “Really?”

 

May gave her a small smile. It wasn’t one of forced smiles she normally gave. No this smile was genuine. It was something Coulson hadn’t seen appear on her face in a long time. “Yeah,” she replied finally. “You showed true courage and strength. You took down two followers on your own and you fought off Petra before she could kill me, without hesitating.”

 

“Well you may not be my favorite person in the world, but that doesn’t mean I want you dead. There was no choice to make. There was no reason to hesitate. Plus, you could have easily gotten out of the hold they had you in.”

 

May shrugged. “Maybe. Maybe not. That doesn’t change the fact that you saved my life.” They stared at each other for a moment. Skye was the first one to look away. She slowly slid off the table.

 

Coulson decided to make his presence known then. “How are you two feeling?”

 

“Could be worse,” Skye replied. “I’m little tired. Is there anything you need me on?”

 

He smiled at her gently. “No Skye, we’re just heading to the Hub. Why don’t you take a nap?”

 

“Cool. I’ll see you in a few hours.” She shared one more look with May before heading upstairs.

 

Once Skye was gone Coulson turned to May. “You okay?”

 

“I’m survived worse,” she shrugged.

 

“Other than your arm, did they get you anywhere else?” May snorted. “I’ll take that as a no. Can you set the coordinates and take us to the Hub?”

 

“Yeah. Take off in 5.” May stopped at the stairs and turned back to him.

 

“Are you okay? You look a little off.”

 

He thought about her question for a moment, contemplating how he should answer it. He had already burdened her with so much today. First with their conversation in the cockpit and then putting her in the position to have to fight. Last thing she needed was to have to deal with his breakdown.

 

So he looked at May, gave her his own version of a forced smile, and said “I’m fine. Just stressed with everything that’s happened.”

 

She didn’t look convinced but she let it slide. Instead, May just nodded and continued up the stairs. Once she was gone, he took a moment to compose himself. He didn’t want to lie to every member of his team so instead, when May announced take off over the intercom system, he remained seated in the avionics bay.

 

Once the plane was in the air and it was safe to move around, he straightened his tie and smoothed down the lapels of his jacket, and headed upstairs. Everything was quiet and most of the lights in the common were dimmed, signaling that most of his team had retired. So imagine his surprise when he entered his office and found Skye sitting in front of his desk flipping through a file.

 

“Skye? Is everything okay?” He watched her as she shut the file and stood up.

 

“Yeah, everything is fine. I just wanted to bring you this,” she handed him the file she was flipping through. “It’s the CLEP tests you gave me. I finished them earlier.”

 

“Oh,” he took the file from her and flipped through it quickly. “Thank you Skye. I wasn’t expecting this so soon.” He walked around his desk and set the file down.

 

“I figured it was time to clean up my act so to speak.” She shrugged. After a brief pause, she added “It isn’t your fault, you know.”

 

The surprise on his face was evident as he looked up at Skye. She gave him a soft smile. “I know the look on your face. You’re blaming yourself about what happened downstairs. It isn’t your fault.”

 

“It is my fault. It’s my job to keep you all safe. That’s what I promised you and so far I’ve done nothing but put everyone in danger.”

 

“Isn’t that part of the job description for SHIELD agents?”

 

“Not for you or FitzSimmons.” _Or May_ he added silently.

 

He was expecting something common like ‘you couldn’t predict what happened’ or ‘we’re okay, don’t beat yourself up.’ What he was not expecting was for Skye to laugh. “Something funny?” he looked at her with a dumbfounded expression on his face.

 

“I’m sorry sir. Sometimes I have inappropriate reactions to serious situations. I blame my childhood. But seriously, FitzSimmons are geniuses. They knew what they were signing up for. They knew there would be a chance of getting into dangerous situations. Even if they accepted a job at the Hub or whatever other shady SHIELD bases there are out there, they wouldn’t be fully safe. I mean you remember the state of the SHIELD firewalls before I fixed it? It was a joke. And not to mention how easy I moved around the Hub. Security there was also a joke. So really it doesn’t matter where FitzSimmons could have been stationed or might be stationed in the future. The possibility of danger will always be there.”

 

“Okay,” Coulson walked around his desk and sat on his couch. “But you didn’t sign up for any of this.”

 

Skye took a seat next to him. “A.C. before I met you, I was living on the streets. The motels I was living at were shadier than SHIELD, and that’s saying a lot. Witnessing drug deals was a common occurrence back then. I could have easily witnessed something I shouldn’t have and we wouldn’t be having this conversation.” She broke off to take a deep breath. She took his hand in her small one and squeezed reassuringly. “Believe me when I say this is the safest place I’ve ever lived. You’ve given me a home and before all of this, I didn’t think that was even possible. Don’t beat yourself up because of this. Because it isn’t your fault.”

 

She said the last part with such conviction that it had Coulson doing something he didn’t do often. He pulled her into a hug. He took comfort in the fact that she was here, with him. When he first offered to bring her on board, he had no earthly idea about how much she would change his life. And if he were being honest, she was becoming like a daughter to him.

 

He felt guilty even thinking that. He had a daughter and she was out there, but May was right. She was gone and they may never get her back. Holding onto hope like that when there was a young girl in his arms that needed a family seemed pointless. He would never stop thinking of his baby girl, of his Daisy, but maybe it was time for him to try and let go of the past. He was given a second chance at life after the incident in New York. It was time he took advantage.

 

So he held Skye close. He held her close and he let her begin to heal the pain of the past. Even if she had no idea of the impact she had on him, he did. He could feel it. She was so full of light and love and considering everything she’d been through; it was a miracle she turned out that way. She was his miracle, his second chance. And he would be hers.

 

…

 

_“Grant please…help me.” The broken and terrified voice of his brother played over and over in Grant’s head as he ran as fast as he could through the thick woods surrounding his family’s lake house. This chest burned from all the running and he was half blind from all the tears in his eyes._

_He almost breathed a sigh of relief when the house finally came into view. Almost. His parents were hosting a grand Fourth of July party and it was more likely than not that every adult was wasted. They would be no help. It was up to him to save Thomas._

_The front door slammed against the wall with a loud thump. Something shattered against the floor but Grant paid in no mind. He didn’t have time to stop. He had to hurry or Thomas was going to die._

_He slipped on the rug at the bottom of the stairs. Pain jolted up his arms as his hands hit the floor. He pushed himself up, ignoring the protest his now sore knees made. He ran up the stairs and into his father’s office. He didn’t stop to think of the consequences of what he was about to do. He couldn’t. Instead, he went around his father’s desk and opened the top drawer. He knew it would be unlocked. His father didn’t care enough about the safety of his children to lock it._

_He pulled all the useless papers out and threw them somewhere to his right. Once they were out of the way, he pushed on the back of the drawer. The secret panel lifted and revealed his father’s gun. Grant didn’t know much about guns, but he knew the basics. One he checked to make sure it was loaded and the safety was off, he slipped it in his back pocket and covered it with his shirt._

_He took off out of his father’s office, down the stairs, out the door, and back through the woods. He prayed it wasn’t too late. He prayed that he wouldn’t hesitate. He prayed and prayed and prayed. As the tears continued the blind him and the burn in his chest increased, he prayed that he could pull the trigger and kill his older brother to save his younger brother._

Grant knew it was a bad idea and if he would have been sober, he probably would have gone to his hotel room and slept the night away. But he wasn’t sober, which was how he found himself banging on a different hotel room. It didn’t take long for the door the swing open. Skye looked at him with a startled expression on her face. She had changed into a tank top and some pajama bottoms. The cut on her arm was neatly wrapped with gauze. She had no make-up on and her hair was a mess, but she was still the most beautiful woman Grant had ever seen.

 

Before she could ask him what he was doing, he entered her room with determination. His hands cupped her found face and his lips were on her. She let out a squeak of surprised before she melted into the kiss. As her hands found their way to the front of his shirt, he turned her and pushed her against the door.

 

He only broke away when his lungs demanded oxygen, but even then his lips did not leave her body. He kissed and bit a trail up and down her neck. His tongue dated out and ran over the hickey that he had left on her neck hours earlier. It was odd, how much had happened since then. In just a few hours his life changed remarkable.

 

He shook off the thought. He didn’t want to think. He just wanted Skye. Only Skye. She made him forget. With little effort he lifted her. Her legs wrapped around his waist immediately. She threw her head back and moaned his name as he pressed himself against her center.

 

_Grant’s stomach dropped at the realization that he might be too late. Christian was standing next to Thomas with a thick stick in his hands and a twisted smile on his face. Thomas wasn’t moving and Grant could see blood trickling from the wound on his head._

_“What do you think you’re going to do with that?” Christian laughed. He looked from Thomas to Christian. “Come on Grant. You and I both know you don’t have the balls to pull the trigger. Now do yourself a favor and put the gun down.”_

_Grant stood about ten feet away from Christian with his hand raised. The gun was aimed at Christian’s chest. Grant tried to calm his shaking hand and remain strong in the face of his fear. So he took a deep, calming breath and took a step closer. “Get the hell away from him,” Grant said with as much conviction as he could muster._

_“Put the gun down before you hurt yourself Grantie,” Christian laughed. Grant took another step forward._

Grant tried to be as gentle as he could be when he set Skye on the bed, but she still ended up bouncing slightly at the force. She looked up at him with her deep, brown eyes filled with such adoration it made his stomach drop. He didn’t waste any time kicking off his shoes and socked and pulling off his shirt.

 

She licked her lips hungrily as he crawled on top of her. “God I want you so bad,” he growled. He smashed his lips to her hers once again. She wrapped her legs around his waist and ran her hands up and down his back. Every nerve she ran her hands over burned like fire.

 

“Grant,” she whispered once he broke his lips away from her. He left a heated trail down her neck. It took everything he had not to mark her up with hickey after hickey. He wanted to show the world that she was his.

 

For years he believed he was dead inside. It was something he had made peace with. But then Skye walked into his life and lit a fire under his skin. Ever where she touched, everywhere she kissed burned with life. She would be his undoing. And if he was being honest with himself, if he had to choose a way to go, this would be it. Without a second thought, he would choose her. And nothing in this world could or would make him regret that.

 

_“You’re a fucking coward Grant. There is no way you would pull that trigger.” Christian taunted menacingly as he, too, took a step forward._

_“I will!” Grant replied. “If it means keeping Tommy and Rosie safe from you, I will.”_

_“And it’s cute that you’ve deluded yourself into thinking so, but I know the truth. You can’t protect any one. You don’t have to balls. Are you sure you aren’t a girl?”_

_“You were supposed to protect us!” Tears spilled over Grant’s eyelids and rolled down his cheeks rapidly. “You’re the oldest. You were supposed to protect is from the abuse inflicted by mom and dad! We should have stood together, but you chose to be just like them. You chose to be cruel and vicious. You chose to torture us. The only deluded thing I’ve ever convinced myself into thinking is that maybe, just maybe you would realize that. Realize that we had a better chance of surviving this hell together. But I know better now. If anyone is going to be the reason we survive, it’s going to be me.”_

_“There are no witnesses here Grant. You shoot me and it will be your word against mine. Even if you do kill me, which I don’t think you will for a second, it will still look like you attacked me.” Christian threw the stick he was holding into the woods. “I can see the papers now. Grant Ward shoots unarmed older brother. This will be the end for you.”_

_With the taste of salty tears in his mouth and a lump in his throat Grant said “It will be worth it.” Before pulling the trigger once, twice, three times. The gunshots echoed through the trees and he suspected that the adults would come running soon enough._

_The look of surprise that crossed Christian’s face was not comforting. Grant watched as Christian dropped to his knees. He watched as his brother tried to apply pressure to the bullet wounds. He watched as blood began to come out the corner of his mouth. The last the Christian did, before collapsing face first into the ground, was look at Grant in a way he never did before. He looked at him in fear._

“Grant wait,” Skye panted. She pushed on his shoulders lightly, but it was enough to send Grant scrambling off of her and the bed. He felt sick. Oh god, she was rejecting him. He knew this was too good to be true. He was too damaged for her. He was covered in too much blood.

 

“I’m sorry,” he whispered brokenly. “I’ll go.”

 

He didn’t have enough time to reach down and pick up his shirt before she was off of the bed, standing in front of him, and forcing him to look at her.

 

“Don’t!” She said heatedly. “Don’t do that. I can see the gears running overtime in your head. I am not rejecting you.”

 

“You don’t have to explain yourself Skye. I get it. I’m damaged goods. I have too much baggage,” the rage was building up again. He was trying to control it, but he became angrier and angrier as he said that. His parents, Christian, his entire childhood, and everything that contributed to him becoming who he has become flashed through his mind. He hands balled into fists and he felt his face heat up. He needed to leave.

 

“You think I care about your baggage Grant? I don’t. God knows that I have my fair share of baggage too.”

 

He didn’t mean to say it. He definitely didn’t mean it because he knew that she had her own trauma but all logic flew out the window. “You don’t know shit,” he snapped. “You don’t know what I’ve been through. The staff made me see my darkest memories. Memories that I’ve locked away. I touched that staff and it was like the dam broke. Every painful memory from my childhood came flooding out, choking me. You don’t know, so don’t you dare try to relate to me and my suffering.”

 

The pained look that settled on Skye’s face made Grant hate himself even more. He could see the tears well up in her eyes and he so badly wanted to apologize, but he couldn’t bring himself to open his mouth. He was useless. So instead, he silently began gathering his clothes.

 

_Grant dropped the gun and walked over to Thomas. He kneeled down next to his little brother and pulled him into his arms. He let out a sigh of relief as he saw Thomas’ chest rise and fall. Grant knew that his life was over. Even if people saw it as him defending himself and his siblings, he would be forever known as the boy that killed his brother. He was branded._

_“It’s okay now Thomas. You’re safe,” he began to stroke Thomas’ hair gently. His normal blond locks were becoming stained with the blood from his wound. He was about to start pulling Thomas through the woods to get him help when he heard them. The adults. This was it. “You have to be strong now Thomas. It’s only going to be you and Rosie now and it’s up to you to keep her safe from our parents.” He placed a tender kiss on Thomas’ forehead and rocked back and forth as he waited for his life to be over._

_He heard his mother’s scream first. “What have you done?!” He looked at the horrified faces of the party goers. He could feel the heat of their gazes’ seep into his skin. You’re a monster. That’s what they were thinking as they looked at him._

_Several of the adults rushed towards Christian and several rushed to pull Thomas out of his arms. He didn’t fight them. He just sat there. He knew there was nothing he could do-nothing he could say- that would change the looks he was getting._

_“We need an ambulance!” One of his father’s friends shouted. He was working on Christian. “He’s still alive.”_

_Oh god. Grant’s head snapped to where Christian lay motionless. It wasn’t possible. “I just called 911. They’re on their way!” someone else shouted._

_Grant’s eyes remained on Christian’s chest as he slowly rose and fell. Even as he was grabbed my some of the adults and dragged away from the scene. He failed. Christian was still alive and Grant wouldn’t be there to protect his siblings once Christian recovered._

_As he was dragged past his mother- who was cradling Thomas to her chest and whispering ‘you’re going to be okay baby’- she looked up at him with a heated gaze. “You will live to regret this Grant,” she hissed at him._

_And he did._

 

He was at the bedroom door with his clothes and shoes in his arms when she finally spoke. “He tied me up.”

 

Grant froze as he processed the words. When he turned around he could feel his broken heart shatter even more. Skye looked so torn up, so…defeated. The snarky, stubborn hacker was nowhere to be seen. He set his clothes down on a chair and took a tentative step forward. He was about to ask who when she continued.

 

“My last foster dad,” she clarified. Her hand flew to her mouth as she she choked on a sob at the revelation. “The first day with my last foster family was amazing. Almost enough to renew my faith in the idea of having a family. But then the father dragged me to the basement and tied me up. I spent over a month down there, being tortured.” She let out a hysterical laugh. Grant took another step forward. “His wife would come down and patch me up after every ‘session’ with him. Yeah, that’s what they were called. I was his therapy session and it wouldn’t do him any good if I was dead and he couldn’t take joy in my pained cries. Anyway, his wife would come down stairs to clean up my wounds and while she was down there _she_ would tell _me_ not to scream so loud because I was scaring her children.”

 

She wiped the flood of tears off of her face and began to pace before continuing. “I was 14 years old. And the worst part is, the entire time I was held down there, I kept asking myself what I did to deserve this. I fully believed it was my fault. 14 fucking years old!” Her voice cracked. Grant was in touching distance of her now, but he made no move to pull her into his arms. Not yet. She stopped pacing and closed her eyes. For several minutes she worked on a breathing technique to calm herself. When she finally opened her eyes, she had a fire within them. One that he’d seen before, but this time, it was amplified.

 

“I don’t know exactly what you went through. That’s true. But don’t you _dare_ say I don’t understand pain and suffering.” The raw emotion in her voice was chilling. Without another word, Skye pulled off her tank top and turned around. The sight that greeted him had him so close to running toward the toilet to empty his stomach.

 

Her back was completely covered in angry, red jagged scars. “I know what pain and suffering is,” she mumbled tiredly. “I live with it every day. My memories…I can lock them up,” she admitted. “But the physical scars I see every day. My constant reminder.”

 

Grant swallowed the thick lump in his throat and took another step forward. He slowly lifted his hand and traced one of her scars. She shivered from the contact. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered. “I shouldn’t have said those things.”

 

“You know I get it. That instinct to immediately push someone away. You can try to stop it, but at the end of the day, that instinct will always be there.” She turned around with her arms wrapped around her torso, holding herself together. “You aren’t alone in this Grant. And you don’t have to push me away. I’m just as broken as you are. What happened in your past won’t scare me away.”

 

He placed his hands on her tiny waist and pulled her as close as possible. She wrapped her arms around him. Together they held each other up. They were two souls lost in the dark and somehow, they found each other. For the first time in years Grant thought that maybe, just maybe, there would be hope for him after all.

 

Skye stepped away first. She ran her fingers through his hair and stroked his cheek with her thumb. “Let’s go to bed.”

 

Grant nodded and began to undo his pants as she slipped under the covers in the middle of the bed. He crawled next to her and wrapped her in his embrace. He rested his head against her chest and listened to her heart beat. They fell asleep tangled in an intimate embrace with no nightmares plaguing them. Just hopefulness for the future.

 

…

 

May was convinced that tonight was the night she was going to murder someone and that someone was the person currently banging on her hotel room door. She swung the door open with more force than necessary and leveled the person on the other side with a fierce glare.

 

“Victoria,” she greeted icily.

 

“Melinda,” Victoria replied just as coldly.

 

“Correct me if I’m wrong, but we don’t like each other. Right? Or was there a new development in our relationship.” Victoria said nothing as she walked past May. “By all means, come in.” She snarked.

 

“You aren’t wrong,” she said after May shut the hotel room.

 

“Fantastic. So would you mind explaining why the hell you’re at my hotel room this late?” She crossed her arms over her chest as she waited for Victoria to reply.

 

“You know we had a team picking up an 084 in Poland right?”

 

She rolled her eyed. “Yes. Why?”

 

“Because when the team got there, they ran into some trouble. There were some men there trying to obtain the 084 and sell it on the black market.”

 

“Thanks for the update. And this couldn’t wait until tomorrow because?” Victoria handed her the manila folder she was holding. May raised an eyebrow as she took the folder.

 

“What the hell is this?” She was getting tired of Victoria being cryptic. It was too late to deal with this crap.

 

“Just open it.” Victoria rolled her eyes impatiently.

 

May sighed in defeat. The quicker she did this; the quicker Victoria would leave. Or so she thought. She flipped the file open and as her eyes scanned over the picture that faced her, her breath caught in her throat. “I wanted to go to Phil first, but if I turned out to be wrong…I didn’t want to hurt him.”

 

It wasn’t often that Melinda May was rendered speechless, but as she looked away from the familiar face to Victoria’s, she couldn’t mutter a single response.

 

“I figured you would remember,” Victoria continued.

 

“How could I ever forget,” May finally responded with a bitter laugh. “How could I ever forget the face of one of the men responsible for my daughter’s disappearance?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for the wait. Life has been hectic lately and I’ve been feeling down lately so I struggled with this chapter. Thank you for being so patient. I promise you I am not losing interest in this story. I’m fully invested. I even have the beginning of the sequel planned out.
> 
> Someone pointed out to me last chapter that this was more of a Skyeward story than a Philinda story and asked if I could change it to where Skyeward was the first couple listed. I tried, but for some reason it wouldn’t stick, so I apologize for that.
> 
> Follow me on Tumblr. Same username!
> 
> My inbox is always open for sneak peeks and spoilers! 
> 
> Many thanks to my beta, Peter, for everything you did with this chapter.


	9. Shattered Images

_“Did you say it? ‘I love you. I don’t ever want to live without you. You changed my life.’ Did you say it? Make a plan. Set a goal. Work toward it, but every now and then, look around; Drink it in 'cause this is it. It might all be gone tomorrow.”_

_–Meredith Grey_

* * *

 

Melinda felt…numb. Once upon a time, years ago when the tiniest sliver of hope still lived within her, she’d imagine this very day over and over. The day that she would receive a solid lead as to what happened to her baby. She thought about how she would handle it and what emotions she would feel. On a good day, she would imagine the lead reuniting her with her baby. She would imagine that she and Phil would get back together and that they would put everything behind them. They could be the family they both so desperately wanted in Providence. But then the days turned to weeks, weeks turned to months, and months turned to years. So like any sane person, she gave up on that sliver of hope. She let it die.

 

Now, here she was, with a file filled with pictures and facts about a man she had watched for two years. A man responsible for the disappearance of her child and she felt nothing. She was sitting on the couch with her legs pulled to her chest and her arms wrapped around her legs. She had been sitting like this since Victoria left and she was positive that this was the only thing that was keeping her together.

 

The distant sound of her phone going off pulled her from her trance like state. She wasn’t sure what time it was, but she knew it was early. Probably too early for someone to be calling her. It could be an emergency or it could be her alarm. Either way, the logical side of her brain had her slowly (and a little shakily) standing from the couch and heading to the bedroom.

 

She felt like she was walking in slow motion, but she couldn’t muster up the energy to move any faster. Everything felt so heavy. Her arms hung limply by her side, her eyes burned, her head was reeling, and it felt like her body was just going to shut down at any moment. The thing was, she wouldn’t mind if it did. She just wanted everything to stop.

 

She was trying to process the information she had just learned, but she couldn’t. It was like there was a wall there trying to keep her from realizing that this was it. This was the moment she used to imagine. This was a lead to her daughter. She might not ever be reunited with her daughter, but she could get one thing from this. Closure.

 

But did she want that? By definition, closure was the act or process of closing something. So what did that mean? It meant the end. She’d been telling herself for years that it was naïve to continue to hope for a reunion with her child. She knew in her line of work that miracles weren’t possible. So why was going down this road so hard?

 

It was because this road made it official. She wouldn’t just be telling herself that she would never see her daughter again. She would be accepting it. She would be closing that chapter of her life and moving on. No matter what she told Phil (or even what she told herself for that matter) she had never fully accepted that her daughter was gone forever. This road would end with that acceptance. And if she were being truthful, she wasn’t ready for that. But, she also knew that this wasn’t just her decision. It was Phil’s. So she was going to have to tell him. And whatever his decision, she would stand by him. She owed him that much.

 

By the time she got to her phone it had stopped and started ringing multiple times. As she was reaching for it, it began ringing again. ‘Victoria Hand’ flashed across the screen.

 

“Hello?” she answered. Her voice was hoarse and unrecognizable.

 

“I was literally about to send a team to your room. I thought you were dead,” Hand exasperated slightly.

 

“Sorry,” Melinda mumbled. Hand hesitated for a moment, most likely due to the fact that she’d never heard May apologize for anything. She closed her eyes and waited for Hand to talk.

 

“Anthony James is going to be brought to an off-sight interrogation room a couple of miles from the Hub. No cameras. No witnesses.”

 

“How long?” Her eyes snapped open. A sudden strength of will began to wake within her.

 

“You’ll have an hour to get the answers you need. Everything for the transport is being prepared right now. We’re going to be leaving at 6:30 am. We’ll be at the site at 7 am, you can begin your interrogation then. That is, if you want to talk to him.” Hand explained thoroughly.

 

For the first time in hours, Melinda felt that spark begin to ignite in her brain. “Send me the coordinates.” She all but demanded.

 

“I’ll send them right away. Don’t be late.”

 

Melinda hung up without so much as a goodbye and stared at her phone until it lit up with a text message holding the coordinates. She set her phone back on the bed side table before darting to the bathroom where she emptied the contents of her stomach. Since she hadn’t eaten since yesterday afternoon, she didn’t have much which just left her dry heaving over the toilet until her stomach hurt and her throat was raw.

 

Once she was done, she flushed the toilet and stood up in front of the mirror. The woman that stared back at her was not the put together agent she had grown accustom to seeing. No, this woman that stared back at her was a complete wreck. She had to pull herself together before she faced one of the men responsible for the loss of her daughter. She couldn’t risk showing any kind of weakness. Not with this.

 

She quickly stripped and jumped into the shower. As the hot water hit her skin, she slowly began to feel the numbness wear off and the familiar buzz of anger flow through her veins. By the time she stepped out of the steaming shower into the cold bathroom, her head was clearer and determination was set on her face.

 

After she was dressed and had a quick bit to eat – she didn’t want to, but her stomach was burning from the emptiness – she grabbed her phone, room key, and the file and left.

 

It was barely past 6 when she reached Phil’s room. She knocked loudly, knowing he would most likely still be asleep. A few minutes passed before he opened the door. His hair was sticking up all over the place, his eyes were half closed, and he was dressed in a white t-shirt and Captain America pajama pants.

 

“Mel?” he asked groggily. He tried to rub the sleep out of his eyes and tried to focus on her. “What’s wrong?”

 

She looked at him for a moment. There was a time in her life where he was her everything. She loved him even before she realized she was capable of love. There wasn’t a day that went by where she didn’t regret leaving him after Daisy disappeared. She couldn’t change the past, and it was pointless to try, but maybe she could begin righting the wrong she had done.

 

She handed him the file and gave him a small, genuine smile. He took the file and looked at her with confusion coloring his features. “It’s a lead Phil. A lead on what happened to Daisy.” She answered the unspoken question carefully.

 

That was all it took to snap him out of his tired daze. He looked at her with shock and disbelief before looking back down at the file in his hand. It was strange how something so small and thin could be so life shattering.

 

Silently, Phil took a step back and signaled for her to enter the room. She watched him carefully as he walked toward the couch, staring at the file the entire way. “I’ll make some coffee,” she said gently. She didn’t drink the stuff, but she knew he would need it. He just nodded quietly as he sat on the couch and flipped open the file.

 

She remained in the kitchen as the coffee brewed, giving Phil the space she knew he’d need while taking in the information. Once the coffee was done, she poured a cup and fixed it the way he liked it. Four sugars and two creamers. He always had a bit of a sweet tooth. It was funny, the small things she remembered about him after so long.

 

When she entered the living room Phil was in the exact same place, but the file was on the table and his head was buried in his hands. Silently, she sat next to him and set the coffee on the table. She debated it for a moment before placing her hand on his back in a comforting manor.

 

“Hand has set up a meeting for us at an off-site facility. No cameras, no witnesses, just us talking to him,” she explained quietly.

 

Phil looked at her with red eyes. “When?” he asked gruffly.

 

“7 am. I have to coordinates, if you want to do it.” Coulson stood up abruptly. He was tense with anxiousness as he paced back and forth for a moment. May watched him carefully.

 

When he looked at her, his eyes were filled with emotions. Finally, he said “I want to do it. I need to know what happened that day. I need to know what he did to our daughter.” He headed toward the bedroom. May quickly followed. She watched quietly as he pulled out one of his suits and placed it on the bed before heading to the bathroom. “Are you going?”

 

She hesitated. “I wasn’t sure I would at first.” She wasn’t sure what else she could say. She wasn’t sure how to explain what she was feeling. She wasn’t even sure what she was feeling. Her numbness was wearing off quickly and was being replaced by so many different emotions her head was starting to spin.

 

“And now?” he looked at her from where he was standing at the bathroom sink.

 

“Yes. What we find out today…it will make it official. We will finally know what happened to Daisy. No more speculating. And what we learn might not be a good thing. Are you ready for that?” She studied him as he brushed his teeth. Once he was finished, he looked at her.

 

“No,” he shook his head. “I’m not ready and I never will be. But I do know that if I don’t do this, it will tear me apart. Knowing that I had the chance to find out the truth and let it slip through my fingers…I don’t think I could handle that.”

 

“Then we do this. Together.” She said firmly.

 

“Together.” He echoed with a nod.

 

Together…if only it was as easy as saying the word. They both knew it wouldn’t be, but neither of them said anything. Instead, Phil finished getting read and Melinda stood by, patiently waiting.

 

…

 

Melinda remained as still as a statue as she sat – waiting not so patiently – in one of the cold, metal chairs in the interrogation room. She was ready to get this started (and get it over with), but she was also slightly terrified to see this man again. If anyone was looking at her, she would no doubt seem calm and collected with a passive mask placed firmly on her face, but the truth was, there was a war going on within her. And she was losing control of it.

 

Phil, on the other hand, had seemingly already lost his war. He was drumming his left hand fingers on the table repeatedly and chewing at the fingernails on his right hand. She leaned forward and took his left hand in hers. She gave him a small, encouraging smile.

 

Just then, the door of the interrogation room opened with a loud squeak. Two SHIELD agents brought in the man that they had been waiting for. Anthony James…there were three key players in the group they were watching. Blake Wilson was the leader, Adam Monroe was in charge of security, and Anthony James…he was the connection guy. He knew who to go to for the best price when selling certain items. He was also the guy you went to when you needed an item. The day that everything went to hell, Blake and Adam went after Coulson and May while Anthony went after Fury.

 

There were multiple forces at play that day and multiple people she blamed for the loss of her daughter, herself included in that, but out of everyone she blamed, Anthony was at the top of the list.

 

She watched him with narrowed eyes as the agents forced him to sit down before cuffing his hands to the metal table. Victoria Hand stepped in after them. She nodded at the guards, silently dismissing them.

 

“Okay, you have one hour. No more. Any longer and it might raise questions with the wrong people. And please don’t rough him up too much.” Hand looked pointedly at May when she said that. She ignored it. Instead, her eyes remained on the older version of the man she once spent two years watching.

 

Everything inside of her was buzzing with fire. Her hands were balled into fist in her lap. Her knuckles were growing unusually white. She noticed that Phil had stopped moving anxiously.

 

“Thank you,” Phil finally said. Hand nodded and slipped out of the room. As the door shut, the sound seemed to echo through May’s ears. She was normally laser focused but right now she felt all over the place. And they hadn’t even begun to ask questions.

 

Several minutes of silence went by. May’s eyes remained trained on Anthony. Every move he made, no matter how slight, her eyes followed. As if she were a hawk staking her prey. She could feel Coulson next to her, tense and unmoving. His eyes most likely mirrored hers.

 

Anthony finally sat back in his chair. A cocky smile – one that Melinda wanted punch off his face so hard it made her head spin – appeared on his face. “You know, I gotta admit…” he began laxly, effectively shattering the tense silence. “I never thought I’d see the two of you again. Kind of hoped you two were dead. Guess I’m not that lucky.” May shifted forward. She was about to reply when he continued to ramble. “So, not that I’m not enjoying this riveting reunion, what exactly am I doing here with you two?”

 

May leaned forward, her hands clasped together on the table, and gave him a threatening smile. “You know why we are here,” she began. She was surprised her voice was so calm. She felt anything but. “We want answers.”

 

Anthony raised an eyebrow. “You’re going to have to be a lot more specific sweetheart. There are a lot of things I’ve done that need answering for.”

 

A loud bang caused Melinda to wince and look at Coulson. He had one hand balled in his lap and the other flat on the table. His hostile gaze was trained on Anthony. “Don’t you dare pretend like you don’t know. You know exactly what we are talking about. What did you do to our daughter?”

 

Melinda reached under the table to grasp his balled up fit. She gently stroked his fist until he unclenched it. He nodded appreciatively at her before leaning back in his chair. Once she was sure he had calmed a bit, she turned back to Anthony.

 

“I suggest you start talking. When you found out we were SHIELD, Adam and Blake went after us and you went after a third man, our friend Nick. He had a baby with him. You caused a severe accident and then took the baby. What did you do with her?”

 

“Lady, I don’t know what you think-” Melinda rolled her eyes, leaned forward, grabbed his pointer finger, and snapped it backwards. The snap echoed in the small room. Anthony screamed out in pain.

 

Melinda stood up threateningly and leaned closer to Anthony. “It can, and will, get worse. I will break every finger, every toe, I will cut off your ears, pluck out your eyes, and so much worse,” She growled viciously.

 

“You can’t,” he groaned pathetically. To prove her point, she grabbed his middle finger and snapped it back. Anthony screamed louder.

 

“I can and I will. If you don’t give me the answers I’m looking for, I will torture you in ways you could have never imagine. What. Did. You. Do. With. My. Daughter?

 

“I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about!” Anthony screamed, spit coming out of his mouth and landing on the table. May calmly wiped the few droplets that landed on her off. Slowly she stood up and rounded the table. She spared a glance at Coulson. He looked like he wanted to join her but she knew him too well. He was too kind hearted to do the unthinkable. That was okay. May wasn’t fond of torturing, but she would. She would do it for Phil. She would do it for Daisy.

 

She grabbed his ear and yanked it hard. Anthony screamed and struggled in his chair. She whispered fiercely in his ear. “I’ve waited 18 years for this and I am not leaving this room without answers.”

 

“Please,” he whimpered pitifully. Melinda just jerked harder. She felt this driving force deep within her. It had full control of her. All those years she spent learning how to control her emotions went out the window. Right now she wasn’t Agent May. Right now she was Melinda, a mother, and she was willing to do anything to get the answers she was seeking.

 

It took 20 minutes to get him to crack and that was only because May was going easy on him (Hand did give her the opportunity to get answers). He wasn’t a trained operative. He didn’t know how to hold out under pressure.

 

May was back in her seat, her hand gripping Phil’s under the table, waiting for Anthony to regain his composure.

 

“Where is our daughter?” Phil asked.

 

“I didn’t hurt her,” Anthony began. “I may be willing to do a lot of things, but hurting an innocent baby isn’t one of them.”

 

“So why did you take her?” May crossed her arms and looked at him disbelievingly. “Taking an infant away from her parents…that causes more damage than you realize. She was innocent. She didn’t deserve to be ripped away from two loving parents.”

 

“I just did what that guy asked me too,” Anthony shrugged. “I didn’t think anything bad would happen to the kid.”

 

“Wait, what guy?” Phil leaned forward.       

 

“The guy with the eyepatch.” May shared a look with Coulson. Oh God No. Her heart rate began to increase.

 

“Explain.” She hissed.

 

“He made me a deal. He said he’d erase my record from the SHIELD database. All I had to do was drop the baby off safely at an orphanage a couple of states away, rough him up a bit, and never tell anyone about this.”

 

“You’re lying!” Phil yelled. Melinda grabbed his arm to calm him. “He’s lying Mel.” Phil’s voice was filled with despair. It was almost as if realization hit him violently.

 

“I’m not!” He argued. “He gave me some cash and told me to meet him a few days later! When we met back up, he gave me everything I needed to disappear. If you don’t believe me, I still have the papers stashed away. I didn’t want to take any chances.”

 

“You two screwed up. You had a baby while on an undercover mission. YOU two, put her life on the line. I can’t believe how stupid you two are.”

 

May stared at Anthony as realization dawned on her. Fury was angry that they had a baby and it wasn’t just because they were undercover. Yes, they broke the rules, but it did not affect their job performance or compromise the mission. He was angry that he would lose two of his best agents. She felt like the last piece of the puzzle was finally in place and she could see the entire picture.

 

She looked at Phil. He was shaking his head. “There’s no way…” he argued weakly.

 

“Where did you drop off our baby?” She turned back towards Anthony.

 

“Melinda, he’s lying about Fury. He’s going to lie about this too,” Phil tried.

 

Her mind drifted back to that day. After Melinda and Phil had lost Blake and Adam, they arrived at the rendezvous point. They waited and waited and waited for any sign from Fury but he never came. Finally, Victoria Hand and Maria Hill showed up with an odd explanation. One that was never able to truly sit well with her, but at the time of it, her mind was bogged down and foggy with grief.

 

According to Maria and Victoria, the man chasing Fury rear ended him, causing the car to spin out of control and then hit him from the side at full speed, sending him into a ditch. He was at a safe house being patched up.

 

“I don’t remember much of what happened,” Fury told them when they arrived at the safe house. “The baby started crying and before I could even try to calm her, we were hit. I was barely conscious when he flipped the car into a ditch. I came too when I was being pulled from the car. The baby was gone by then. I’m so sorry,” he whispered the last part.

  
“I don’t think he is lying Phil,” she admitted. He looked at her with wide eyes. She continued. “I could never figure out how Fury, of all people, could have been caught when he was being chased by just one guy. If you don’t believe it, I’m sure there is proof and we will find it, but right now, I want to know where our baby went too. Where did you drop her off?”

 

“This orphanage in Jefferson, Texas. It’s called St. Agnes. I dropped her off and left before anyone could see me.”

 

“And where did you meet up with Fury?”

 

“Rockport, Texas in a small diner. It’s why I chose Jefferson to drop the kid off. So I could meet with him and then disappear.”

 

“Fury has a safe house in Rockport,” she commented absently.

 

“That doesn’t mean anything,” Phil defended. Before she could reply, the door opened.

 

Hand looked from them to Anthony and back to them. “Times up.”

 

Melinda got up and left quickly without another word. She didn’t even turn to see if Coulson was following her. It wasn’t until she was outside of the facility that Coulson grabbed her gently and turned her around.

 

“Mel you can’t honestly tell me that you believe him? He’s a criminal!” Coulson’s eyes pleaded at her.

 

“And you can’t honestly tell me that there isn’t a single part of you that hasn’t wondered how it was possible that Nick Fury, one of the best agents in the history of SHIELD, was so easily caught?!” She countered. “Whether you chose to ignore that or not doesn’t matter. If Fury made this deal, there will be proof and I promise you, if it’s out there, I will find it. But for now I want to go to St. Agnes. I need to know and so do you.”

 

Coulson sighed and shook his head. “What about the team?”

 

“Simmons has ordered Skye and Ward take a few days of R&R after everything that happened. And FitzSimmons will be busy in the lab with the two 084s. If there was ever a perfect time to do this, it’s now. We can take the bus and fly to Jefferson and back. We will be gone less than a day.”

 

He scratched the back of his head – something he tended to do when he was overwhelmed – and said “Okay, but we need to inform the team that we are going to be handling some business.” She opened her mouth to argue, but he continued before she could. “We don’t have to give them specific detail. Just a simple ‘it’s classified and need to know’ excuse. The only one that will argue is Skye.”

 

Melinda rolled her eyes. That wasn’t surprising. That girl would argue with a tree if she could. “Okay. Let’s head back to The Hub. I’ll page the team on the way.”

 

The two of them made their way back to the SHIELD SUV that had brought them here. Melinda couldn’t quite pinpoint it – maybe it was seeing Anthony or maybe it was the fact that she was putting faith in a lead for the first time in years – but she had a bad feeling in her gut. And if there was one thing she learned of the past years, it was that her gut was normally spot on.

 

…

 

It was the sound of a door shutting that woke Skye up. She groaned – she was nowhere near ready to get up – and turned on her side. Her hand absentmindedly searched for something, but when it came across nothing but cool sheets, her eyes flew open.

 

It was still dark in her room – save for the sliver of light that was shining through the crack in her curtains – but she could still make out the empty side of the bed. Her heart fluttered in disappointment. The last few days were hard, on Grant…on her, especially last night. She never broadcasted her scars. Not even to Trip, but she felt so safe with Grant. She felt this strong connection between them, despite having known him for a little over a month, so revealing her darkest secret was an easy decision.

 

So, imagine her disappointment when she wakes up alone. A part of her knew that he might be off doing SHIELD related stuff (even though Simmons ordered them to take some time to recuperate), but a bigger part of her feared that he slipped out because he changed his mind about her. About them (whatever they were) and figured ignoring her was better than being with her (not that they were together…they should probably talk about it. If he hasn’t run for the hills.

 

Honestly, she didn’t think she could handle the silent treatment from him. Especially after the events of last night. It was drama that she did not want or need. Not to mention the rejection she would feel. No, being ignored by him was not something she was going to be okay with. If she had too, she’d leave. She may not be good at much, but when it came to disappearing…she excelled at that.

 

Before she could plan out her great escape plan, the bedroom door creaked open. Grant flipped the light on. She winched and blinked several times as her eyes adjusted to the light.  “Good morning,” He greeted with a smile.

 

“If you say so,” she teased as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes. When she was finally able to see in the light, she looked at him. He looked better, much better. He was freshly showered (as indicated by his body wash scent radiating off of his skin) and dressed. He was pushing a silver cart with several covered plates.

 

“What?” he asked as he pushed the cart right next to the bed. She scooted closer, curious to see what he brought.

 

“You said ‘good morning’ and I happen to hate mornings,” she explained. He just chuckled, placed a hand on either side of her hips, and kissed her. That answered the ‘is he going to run’ question. “What you bring me?” she asked once they broke apart.

 

“Breakfast.” He pulled the silver covering of the middle plate. The plate was filled with pancaked, French toast, and waffles. Skye’s stomach growled once the smell hit her. “And it appears that I’m right on time.”

 

“Bless you Grant Ward,” she sighed as she watched him lift the lids off the other plates. One had bacon and sausage, one had hash browns and scrambled eggs, one had an assortment of fruit, as well as two glass bowels filled with syrup and whip cream. “You didn’t have to do this though.”

 

“I know,” he shrugged. “I wanted too.”

 

“Still, this must have cost a fortune. Hotel food is expensive as hell. I’m half convinced that crack is the secret recipe because of how pricy it is.”

 

“Don’t worry about price. I charged it to the hotel room,” he smiled. He handed her a spare plate before fixing his own.

 

“Isn’t it under Coulson’s name?” She turned her head to the side.

 

“Yep.” He popped the ‘p’ for emphasis.

 

She snorted. “He’s going to be mad.” She grabbed a couple of pieces of French toast.

 

“Well we were instructed to take a few days off and enjoy. What better way to do that than with breakfast in bed?” He rounded the bed and placed his plate on the night stand before kicking off his shoes and slipping under the covers.

 

“I can’t find a flaw in your logic.” Skye finished fixing her plate and settled next to him. She grabbed the remote off of the bedside table and turned on the TV.

 

“Good thinking,” he nodded in approval.

 

“Oh!” Skye exclaimed excitedly. “SpongeBob Square pants!”

 

“I’m sorry, sponge what?” She looked at Grant with wide eyes.

 

“You’ve never seen SpongeBob?” she asked as if she were asking him if he committed a murder.

 

Grant, bless his heart, looked at her genuinely confused. “No?” it was more of a question than an answer.

 

“Well we are going to correct that atrocity.” She huffed as she turned the TV up. If Grant was going to say something, he decided against it when he saw the determination on her face. Skye snuggled closer to Grant and the two began to eat as SpongeBob played on the TV.

 

Skye didn’t want to say anything (she was a firm believer in jinxing stuff) but she couldn’t help but think it. It had been a very long time since she had felt this…content. Even that word seemed to fall short. This feeling inside of her was so indescribable and she never wanted to lose it.

 

…

 

Skye wasn’t sure when, but shortly after breakfast she fell back asleep. This time when she woke up, her head was resting on Grant’s chest and his arm was wrapped around her. His hand was gentle rubbing her side. “Hey,” she smiled sleepily.

 

“Hey.” He kissed her forehead. She snuggled closer to him.

 

“You make an excellent pillow,” she teased. She could feel his chest rumble with laughter. “You’re still watching SpongeBob?” She asked mildly impressed that he didn’t change it the moment she was out.

 

“I keep waiting to see what’s so great about it,” He tried. Skye just laughed and kissed his jaw.

 

“Okay, tell yourself whatever you need to.” He didn’t say anything in reply. Instead, he rolled them until he was on top of her and her legs were wrapped around his waist. Skye let out a breathless laugh at the sudden change in position. Grant just smiled at her before peppering her neck with kisses. Her conscious once again told her that they should talk before the continued to do…whatever they were doing. Before she could even open her mouth to say something, their moment was cut short when Grant’s phone went off.

 

He groaned in disappointment before getting off of her and grabbing his phone. Skye slipped out of bed – the realization that she hadn’t brushed her teeth or taken a shower yet dawned on her – and spared Grant a glance before she made her way to the bathroom. “It’s Coulson,” Grant said when she was halfway to the bathroom. “He needs to see us.”

 

“When?” she asked with her toothbrush in her mouth.

 

“30 minutes,” he replied. Skye nodded and continued to get ready.

 

After she showered, dressed, and dried her hair, she and Grant made it to the hotel lobby with 5 minutes to spare. FitzSimmons were sitting on one of the couches talking amongst themselves. Coulson and May were nowhere to be seen.

 

“Hey,” Skye greeted the two scientist. Simmons was the first to look up. Her eyes immediately went wide as she took in the closeness of Skye and Grant. “What’s going on?”

 

“I don’t know,” Fitz answered. “Coulson was really cryptic in his text.”

 

“When is Coulson not cryptic?” Skye pointed out.

 

“Fair point,” Fitz acknowledged.

 

“So um…what’s going on with you two?” Simmons asked with a smirk. Skye shared a look with Grant and they both shuffled awkwardly, before either one of them could manage out an excuse (a lie), Coulson and May walked up.

 

“Agent Ward, Skye how are you two feeling?” He looked at the pair. If he noticed their closeness, he didn’t show it.

 

“Better sir,” Grant replied with a slight nod.

 

“Almost as good as new,” she added with a smile. Coulson did not return it. Instead, the passive (albeit somewhat cold) look remained on his face. Skye looked between the two agents, confused that the indifference radiating off of them.

 

“Glad to hear it. You two still need to take the day off.” He said with no room left to argue. Not that Skye was going to. She couldn’t think of anything better to do than to crawl back into the comfortable hotel bed with Grant and watch pointless cartoons. “FitzSimmons, you two will be in the lab for most of the day. Is that correct?”

 

“Yes sir,” the duo answered simultaneously.

 

“Alright. Agent May and I have some business to attend to so we will be gone most of the day. We will have our phones on us if you need to reach us for any reason.”

 

Skye looked from Coulson to May back to Coulson again, trying to figure them out. Although she couldn’t pinpoint it (she wasn’t a master spy like them), she could tell there was something definitely off about them. They looked almost…shaken? “What business?” she pressed.

 

“That’s classified,” Coulson immediately shut her down harshly. Skye flinched. It was unlike him to be like that. She expected it from May, but not from him. Did she do something? She tried not to let the hurt show on her face at his tone but apparently she wasn’t very good at it because a moment later she felt Grant’s hand on the small of her back rubbing soothingly. She unconsciously took a step closer to him. They shared another look.

 

May cleared her throat, causing them to look at her. “We need to go.”

 

“Only call if it’s an emergency.” Coulson stated before the two of them left without another word.

 

“Well then.” Fitz was the first to speak. There was round of ‘yeah’ and awkward throat clearing before the group dispersed.

 

“Yeah,” Simmons added. Her gaze went to Skye and Grant. “Rest and relax. I mean it. You may look better, but that doesn’t mean you are back to 100 percent.”

 

Skye just nodded and pulled Grant toward the elevator. She made a mental note to talk to him about what was going on between them as soon as they were in the privacy of her room. Her feelings were so intense and she didn’t really know how to handle them. She wasn’t an expert, but she did know enough that ignoring “the talk” was not the way to go.

 

That also didn’t mean she had to like it. As the stepped onto the elevator, Skye pressed her floor number. Grant wrapped his arm around her and held her close. Neither of them said anything as the elevator rose or as they walked to her room.

 

Once in her room, she turned toward him. “I feel like we need to talk.” She sat down on the couch.

 

“Do you regret last night?” Grant asked somewhat hesitantly as he sat next to her. Skye – who had begun picking at her cuticles– looked at him with shock etched on her face.

 

“Wha-? No! No, not at all. But we can’t ignore it like we did – or tried to do – the kiss on the bus. I don’t want to and I don’t think I could handle that.” Grant took her hands in his.

 

“I don’t know the first thing about relationships,” he began. She felt her heart deflate a little. He must have seen something cross her face (she really needed to get better at hiding emotions) because he squeezed her hand reassuringly before continuing. “My earliest memories of relationships are tainted with pain and suffering. I was never shown a good example from my parents and honestly, growing up, I never really wanted one. Not if there was a possibility that it would become toxic. But then you came into my life quite literally like a wrecking ball.” Skye laughed quietly as she remembered their first meeting.

 

“Yeah I don’t think I’ve had a more interesting ‘first meeting.’”

 

“It would be hard to top that one,” he agreed. “It isn’t a secret that I had a very messed up childhood. But I do know that you make it easier to forget. You bring out the best in me. And as cliché as that sounds, it’s true. The way you pushed me in the cargo bay and how easy it was to just deflate like that without feeling stupid or weak…I’ve never had that before.”

 

Skye smiled at him. “I get it. I do. I mean I have no concept of what a relationship is meant to be like. The only good relationship I’ve had is with Trip and even with him it was never like this. This,” she gestured between them. “This terrifies me.”

 

“Is that a good thing or a bad thing?” He shifted closer to her.

 

“I think it’s a little bit of both. I mean anyone in their right mind should be a little terrified when starting…” she trailed off awkwardly, unsure of where that was statement was going. She knew what she wanted. As corny as it sounded she wanted to see where this – where they – would go.

 

“Starting what?” he asked with a hint of eagerness laced in his voice. He inched closer (if that were possible). For a moment they just stared at each other before Grant cupped her face and kissed her. “I’m willing to try if you are.” He whispered against her lips. She nodded eagerly before kissing him again. This time with more enthusiasm.

 

…

 

Melinda felt sick to her stomach as she took in the outside view of St. Agnes from the SHIELD SUV. It had only taken a couple of hours to fly to Jefferson Texas and a few minutes to drive from where they parked the bus to the orphanage where their daughter grew up. Now that they were here, looking at the place that held their child’s childhood, Melinda felt her veins ignite with anger.

 

St. Agnes looked more like a prison than an orphanage. The outside of the building was old, grey, and decaying in places. There was more dirt than grass in the yard and there wasn’t any indication of a place for children to play.

 

She looked at Phil. He had the same look of horror on his face as she did and she found herself hoping (something she didn’t do often) that her baby was adopted quickly. Melinda knew that if Daisy had been adopted early on, the chances of getting her daughter back were even lower (if that were possible) but if that meant Daisy didn’t have to grow up in a place like this, then it was worth it.

 

“I don’t think I can do it Mel,” Phil whispered. “Look at this place…if Daisy grew up in this place…” he cut off, unable to finish the sentence.

 

“I know,” she agreed solemnly. “But if we leave without answers, we will regret it. We’ll face what comes next together.”

 

“Okay.” He nodded. The two of them got out of the SUV and walked town the old, cracked pathway. When they were at the entrance Melinda felt Phil grip her hand. She squeezed it supportively and raised her hand to knock. Less than a minute later, the door creaked open to reveal a young nun.

 

“Hello,” she greeted politely. “Do you have an appointment?”

 

“No,” Melinda answered. “But we need to speak to the head nun.”

 

“Oh I’m sorry. We are only taking appointment’s today.” The woman went to close the door but Melinda was faster. She stuck her foot out preventing the door from closing completely. The young nun looked startled. Melinda used her strength to push her way inside of the orphanage. “What are you-”

 

Melinda held up her hand. “I’m sorry, I was hoping to this peacefully, but I’m not opposed to using force.”

 

“Melinda…” Phil placed his hand on her arm but she ignored him. She was not going through all of this just to have the door shut in her face. She was not going to open herself up to this pain just to go home empty handed.

 

“I have been to hell and back. No, that isn’t me being dramatic. I have literally been to hell and back. I lost my daughter and after years of no sign of her and no real lead to find her, I gave up. I admit it. I couldn’t continue living every day hoping to find her. It was killing me. So I gave up and now I have a real lead to her…I mean for god’s sake I’m standing in the place where she was left, and you’re going to try and tell me I can’t see the head nun because I don’t have an appointment.” She was well aware that her voice was continuously rising, but there wasn’t a single ounce of her that cared. Calm, cool, and collected Agent May was long gone. Mama May took her place.

 

“What is going on here?” Melinda looked away from the young nun to the older nun standing in the doorway between the foyer and some kind of living area.

 

“I’m sorry sister,” the young nun stuttered. “I told them you were only taking appointments…” The older nun raised her.

 

“That’s fine Sister Emily. I will take care of this. Please return to the children.” Sister Emily nodded and mumbled ‘yes sister’ before hurrying up the stairs.

 

The sister walked until she stood in front of Melinda. She was an older than the other nun, maybe about 40 years old, and her eyes held deep wisdom. “I don’t appreciate you raising your voice at my nuns,” She began calmly. “And I want to be clear that nothing excuses that, but I can understand it.” Melinda’s eyebrows knitted together in confusion. “I recognize the look in your eyes. I recognize the pain and despair. You’ve lost something and if you’re here and refusing to leave until you talk to me, then that tells me you’ve lost a child. I’d like to hear your story. Please, follow me.”

 

Phil gripped her hand in his. “You okay?” he whispered.

 

She nodded. “Just got carried away. I mean we’re just so close Phil…”

 

“I know. It’s okay. It’s been 18 years. You’re allowed to snap every once in a while.” She gave him a small smile and together they followed her. Fortunately, the inside of St. Agnes looked better than the outside. The walls and floors showed signs of age, but it wasn’t falling apart which made Melinda feel a little better. The place was still depressing as hell, but she figured that was because it was a place for abandoned and/or orphaned kids.

 

When they walked into the sister’s office, she gestured for them to sit at the two chairs in front of her desk.

 

“Thank you,” Phil said. “I’m Phil Coulson. This is Melinda May.”

 

“Sister Mary. Now, tell me your story,” she said gently as she sat down across from them.

 

Melinda looked at Phil. He smiled at her and offered his hand. She took it without hesitation. She was terrified. It may have been 18 years since Daisy disappeared, but she never actually told the story. Not from the start to the end anyway. And now, here she was, being asked to recount the worst thing that happened to her.

 

There was no going back. So far she had only stuck her toe in the pool. Now she was about to fully jump in. There was no guarantee that Sister Mary would have the answers they were looking for, but there was a guarantee that if she told their story, the pain she would feel would be unbearable. Was it worth it?

 

Melinda turned to face Sister Mary and told her story. She told their story. It was a love story with a bumpy beginning and a tragic ending. It was the story of two undercover agents. It was the story of two friends with strong feelings for each other and how they denied them for so long. It was the story of a painful anniversary and one-to-many drinks. It was the story of a night they tried to forget but couldn’t due to a positive pregnancy test.

 

And then there was a baby. A beautiful, innocent little baby girl that was born a month early and entered the world with a piercing scream that made her mother’s heart clench. She was their little miracle. And she was ripped away from them before they could even say goodbye.

 

“I never thought it was possible to love someone so much,” she whispered. “The last time we saw her was on September 20, 1998. She was 9 days’ shy of turning five months.” She cleared her throat and squeezed Phil’s hand. “Earlier this morning we spoke to one of the men responsible for her disappearance. That led us here. I know it’s been so long…but we were hoping you might have answers.”

 

Sister Mary sat back in her chair. She clasped her hands together and rested them under her chin. Melinda fidgeted nervously as she waited for her to say something…anything. After a moment of silence, Sister Mary cleared her throat. “I’ve been here since I was old enough to lift a broom. At first I volunteered, and then I became a nun and I worked. I’ve been the head nun for about 10 years. All in all, I’ve been with this orphanage for the majority of my life. I don’t remember every child that comes here, especially if they’re only here for a short while. I do, however, remember the special cases and I believe that your daughter was one of them.”

 

“Is that a good thing?” Phil asked.

 

She smiled at him sadly. “Unfortunately, Mr. Coulson, it isn’t.” Melinda felt the knots in her stomach churn violently.

 

“What do you mean?” she asked shakily.

 

Sister Mary stood up and headed to the filing cabinets that were lined up against the left wall. Melinda watched as she opened one of the bottom drawers and flipped through the files until she got to the one she was looking for. “It was early morning on September 22. I was making my rounds and checking on the kids. It was storming so hard outside that I’m surprised I heard it but when I was walking downstairs, I heard crying. I opened the front door and I saw this baby…this sweet, beautiful baby on the doorstep without a note.” She sat down and set the folder on her desk. “Poor thing…she was soaked. I have no idea how long she was out there, but was a miracle she didn’t catch pneumonia. I immediately took her into the bathroom and bathed her with some warm water. We tried to find the birth parents to the best of our abilities, but in my experience, if a child is left like that then the parents don’t want to be found. Had I known…”

 

“It’s okay,” Phil said hoarsely. When Melinda looked at him, she could see the wetness on his cheek. “You didn’t know.”

 

She looked at them with sympathy. She picked up the manila folder and handed it to her. The name ‘Mary Sue Poots’ was scribbled on the tab. A spark of recognition flared up within her but she couldn’t place the feeling. She didn’t open the folder just yet.

 

“Since we didn’t have a name that’s what we called her. She hated the name.” Sister Mary chuckled fondly at something – a memory perhaps. “I thought she would be adopted rather quickly. She was a baby –which is what most parents prefer to adopt – she was well-behaved, beautiful, and smart. She developed rather quickly and independently. But for whatever reasons, nobody wanted to adopt her. The details in that file aren’t pretty. Mary Sue witnessed and experienced things that no child should.”

 

She gripped the file tightly, bending it a little. “What happened to our daughter?”

 

“Mary Sue ran away when she was 14 after she was placed with a particularly nasty family. I don’t know what happened to her after that. We tried to find her but it was as if she just vanished. The photo of Mary Sue in this folder was taken shortly before she was placed with that last family.”

 

Melinda shared a look with Phil. He scooted his chair closer to her and she placed the folder in between them so they could open it together.

 

“I keep calling her Mary Sue…but her preferred name was…” They flipped the file open and Melinda felt her heart stop and her breath catch as she took in the photo of her daughter. “Skye.”

 

…

 

Sometime – and more kissing – later Skye and Grant made their way to the Hub. Grant to work out in the gym. According to him The Hub had one of the best training facilities. Skye just rolled her eyes and called him a robot. It was a few minutes later that she decided to tag along (not to work out of course) but because being stuck in a hotel room alone didn’t seem like much fun. Plus, there was a hundred percent chance that she would abuse room service which would no doubt piss Coulson off…even more than he already was apparently. So she figured she could hang out with FitzSimmons in the lab.

 

“Don’t have too much fun beating up all of the cadets,” she teased as they came to a stop at the entrance of the lab. Grant just rolled his eyes and kissed her cheek. She looked him somewhat shocked.

 

“Oh I’m sorry…I thought-” he began but she put her finger against his lips.

 

“No it’s me. I didn’t realize we were going to be public about us. Not that I mind!” She added quickly. “I just didn’t know if we were breaking any protocols. I guess there are still some basics we need to cover.”

 

“Well technically you aren’t a SHIELD agent…so as long as it doesn’t affect the team or a mission in any way…I don’t see the problem.” He smirked.

 

“Touché.” She stood on her tippy toes and pecked him on the lips. “See you in a bit.”

 

Skye watched him walk away (who wouldn’t? Grant’s got a nice ass) and when she turned to enter the lab she nearly ran into Simmons.

 

“Okay,” the scientist began as she took her hand and lead her to the table that she and Fitz were working at. “I need answers. Now. Tell me the juicy gossip. You know, I sensed something off about you two this morning but I could only speculate without proof – and you two showing up at the same time wasn’t enough – so-” Fitz placed his hand on her shoulder to calm her. “Sorry,” she chuckled nervously. “It’s just so exciting. You two started out hating each other and now you’re in love!” She finished dreamily.

 

Fitz snorted and mumbled something about chicks wanting everything to be like a romance novel. “Whoa…I like Grant, a lot, but I wouldn’t say love yet.”

 

“Right! Of course, I’m jumping ahead of myself. Does Coulson know yet? I don’t think you two are violating any protocols…” she trailed off, thinking for a moment. Skye was positive Simmons was running through the entire SHIELD handbook. “I mean you’re technically a consultant under the protection of SHIELD and-”

 

“As long as it doesn’t affect the team or any mission, we should be fine.” She finished. “Yeah, Grant just told me.”

 

“You’re calling him Grant!” Simmons swooned. Skye shook her head and laughed. Simmons was such a fan girl.

 

“Well yeah, that’s his name.” Fitz scoffed,

 

“Do you call him Grant?” she countered with sass. Her hands rested on her hip as she stared at Fitz, waiting for a response.

 

“Well…no…” he stuttered. Simmons made a ‘humphing’ and turned her attention to the papers lined neatly on the table.

 

“So…have you two found a correlation between the two 084s?” Skye was eager to change the subject. For a moment she thought Simmons would break out a flow chart of her and Grant’s relationship.

 

“Not yet.” It was Fitz who answered. He let out a frustrated sigh. “An entire team of SHIELD scientists and everyone is coming up blank. It’s ridiculous.” He picked up a piece of paper and began reading it thoroughly.

 

“We’ve only been here since shortly after May and Coulson left, but these guys have probably been here all night.” Simmons added.

 

“Yeah, they’re all looking pretty ragged.” Skye observed. Just then one of the scientist walked over.

 

“Agent Simmons,” he greeted tiredly. “Agent Fitz.”

 

“Agent Matthews,” the duo welcomed simultaneously.

 

Agent Matthews nodded at Skye. She returned it with a smile. “We’re all hitting a wall pretty hard. We haven’t had a chance to take a break since it arrived so we were wondering if you two minded staying with the 084s for an hour while we ran to the cafeteria to eat and freshen up.”

 

“Of course not!” Simmons excalaimed. “Fitz and I can handle this. Right Fitz?” She looked at the him.

 

“Yeah take as much time as you need. We’ll let you know if we find something.”

 

“Thank you.” Agent Matthews turned and headed back to where the rest of the SHIELD scientists were waiting. A few moments later, they left, leaving FitzSimmons and Skye alone in the lab.

 

“So,” Skye began. “Do you two need any help with anything?”

 

…

 

It was nearly an hour later when Simmons gathered the reports they had. “I need to update Victoria Hand on our progress. Shouldn’t take more than 15 or 20 minutes.”

 

Skye was spinning in a computer chair with wheels and Fitz was staring at one of the computer screens with each palm against his cheeks and his mouth slightly open. The both mumbled ‘okay.’ The door to the lab closed with a hiss.

 

“You want to go get into so mischief?” Skye smiled at him as she stopped spinning.

 

“You tend to get caught.” Fitz pointed out before turning and walking across the lab.

 

She snorted. “Fair point. What are you doing?” She watched as he put some protective gloves on and picked up the orb shaped 084 they had picked up a couple of weeks ago.

 

“I’m testing a theory,” he explained as he slowly made his way to the table with the second 084. “These 084s have been on separate end of the lab as we studied them and we’ve all come up blank. Some of the best minds coming up blank? No, there has to be another reason. So I’m going to put them side by side and see if there is a reaction.”

 

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” She stood up and watched him curiously.

 

“Well I don’t think they’re going to blow up if that is what you’re worried about.” Skye just rolled her eyes and continued to watch as Fitz placed the 084 down.

 

Moments passed and nothing happened. Fitz looked at the 084s before turning toward the computer screen. He let out a frustrated groan. “What the bloody hell…” Skye wasn’t able to hear the rest of his sentence as he turned his back to her and continued to look at the 084.

 

“I’m gonna go grab some coffee. Do you want some?”

 

“Yeah…” Fitz mumbled without looking up. Skye was half way to the door when she heard Fitz swear loudly. She turned to see some kind of maroon colored gas come out of the orb shaped 084. Fitz took several steps back and stared at the gas as it began to spread above them.

 

“Holy fuck! Fitz, what the hell is that?” She screamed as she took a few steps toward him. He looked at her with wide eyes and an open mouth.

 

“I don’t-” Before he could finish, a round of violent coughs took over him. He collapsed on his knees, one hand covering his mouth and one resting on his chest. Skye took a step forward but stopped short when she saw more gas come out of the 084. Terror began to course through her veins. She felt frozen. Fitz was still coughing erratically and she had no idea what to do.

 

Help Fitz? Try to stop the gas from being released? Warn everyone that there has been a containment breach? She looked from the 084 to Fitz to the door several times before the corner of her eye caught something.

 

“One of the coolest things is that the glass walls are virtually unbreachable. Both in and out!” Simmons added.

 

“Both in and out?” Skye wondered out loud.

 

“Yes, see that red button on the wall over there.” Simmons pointed to the wall farthest right. Skye nodded. It was hard to miss that button. “If there is ever a chemical spill or anything of that nature, you can press that button and it will seal all vents, entrances, and exits to prevent any harmful substance from getting out. Even if it’s air born!”

 

“Does that happen a lot?” Skye looked back at FitzSimmons. “Accidents causing the entire lab to basically be turned into a quarantine site?”

 

They looked at each other before looking at Skye. “Not really,” they answered with a shrug.

 

“But it’s nice to have the option.” Fitz added.

 

Skye spared one last glance at Fitz. He must have read her mind because he was nodding quickly. She darted to the closest red quarantine button and hit it. A loud blaring sound had her covering her ears. She could hear shifting and clicking as the room sealed them (and the alien gas) inside.

 

She heard a thump. She stepped back from the button and immediately looked at Fitz. He was unconscious, lying face first on the floor. Skye ran over to check him. She dropped to her knees quickly. “Fitz,” she shook him had. “Fitz wake up! Fi-” A violent round of coughs took over her. She felt like she couldn’t breathe, her chest burned, and she felt like there was something stuck in her throat.

 

Her head began to pound, her vision was getting cloudy, her arms and legs felt heavy, and this icy sensation shot up her spine. Darkness began to cloud her vision as her head swirled with dizziness.

 

She collapsed onto her stomach next to Fitz. As her eye lids grew heavy, she thought back to when she was 14 and didn’t want to live anymore. She knew there was a chance that once her eyes closed, they wouldn’t open again. That thought broke her heart because unlike back then, she had something to live for now. She had friends…she had family…she had something. And she didn’t want to lose that. Life was a bitch sometimes…

 

She felt a tear slip out of the corner of her eye and roll down her cheek. The last thing she saw – before she fell into the darkness – was a group of people gathering outside of the lab with panic clear on their faces.

 

…

 

_“Congratulations mommy and daddy. You have a healthy baby girl.”_

_“She's so beautiful.”_

_“She looks just like you. She has your eyes. Hi baby. I’m your daddy.”_

_“She has your nose.”_

_“I will love you until the end of the earth.”_

_“We will always be together. We have forever together.”_

_“She’ll definitely be a daddy’s girl.”_

_“Daisy May Johnson.”_

_“It’s perfect. Welcome to the world, Daisy May.”_

“Her preferred name was Skye.”

 

Skye…Skye…Skye…Skye…Skye… **Skye…**

 

Melinda held the picture of 14-year-old Skye…her 14-year-old daughter closer to her face. As she studied every little detail, she wondered how it was even possible that she missed this. Missed her. It was so clear now…her mother’s eyes, her father’s nose, the resemblance…she was a perfect mixture of both of them. What kind of mother was she? She had been starting her baby girl in the face for weeks. Weeks! And she never realized it.

 

There was no one word that could describe the state Melinda was in as she tried to comprehend everything. Phil was flipping through the file, reading about all the horrible things that their daughter had been through. Melinda wasn’t ready…she couldn’t handle any of that at the moment. She knew a little, from what Skye had told Hayleigh on the Bus, but reading the official documents made it somehow more real.

 

She felt so sick. Her stomach churned with nausea. Her heart rate was through the roof, there was this significant pounding in her temple, the back of her neck was clammy, her hands were shaky, and she felt…everything and nothing at the same time. She was slowly becoming overwhelmed and she didn’t know how to handle it.

 

She set the picture on Sister Mary’s desk and stood up quickly. She had to grip the arm rest of her chair because she nearly collapsed. Phil looked up at her. He was about to stand but she shook her head. “Bathroom?” she managed to gasp out. She knew she wasn’t going to the bathroom, but she also knew that if she just ran out, Phil would follow and right now she just needed…time.

 

“Down the hall to the left,” Sister Mary directed. She looked at Melinda worriedly. Melinda gave her a tight smile that probably came off as more of a cringe. She didn’t care. She just had to get out of that room. She had to…

 

It took everything she had not to bolt to the door. She walked slowly, telling herself to remain together until she was in private. What was usually an easy task was becoming increasingly hard as she walked toward the door. All she wanted to do was collapse on her knees and cry out to the skies above.

 

She wanted to let everything go once she was out of the office and the door was shut firmly, but she wasn’t quiet in private yet. Anyone could stumble upon her in the hallway. So she forced herself to walked. One foot in front of the other slowly, jaggedly she walked down the hallway. Every few feet she ended up swerving to the side and dragging along the decaying walls. She all but collapsed on them at one point. She pushed herself off the wall and kept walking. Her mind was going a thousand miles an hour and she couldn’t focus on anything.

 

_"You're just a child, a stubborn child that acts before she thinks. You have no idea how to make the hard call. So you've had a couple of rough foster homes and decided 'screw the system'. That doesn't mean you understand trauma and the after effects.”_

 

Her baby girl…her child…Daisy…Skye…she was a horrible mother. When she first got pregnant, she was terrified that she would be a bad mother. She was worried that she would screw up remarkable. She never imagined she would screw up this bad. She lost her baby. She entrusted her sweet, beautiful baby with the wrong person and that resulted in her child alone and suffering. And then she treated her with such disdain and threw her painful past in her face. She’d been nothing but terrible to Skye since she entered her life.

 

Some people may say “you didn’t know…it’s been so long…of course you didn’t recognize her.” But she should have known goddammit. If she hadn’t been so cold and cruel to the girl, if she had at least tried to talk to her pleasantly…she might have made the connection. Honestly, now that she knew the truth, she believed that she had unconsciously made the connection. There wasn’t any real reason for the way Melinda had been treating Skye except that there was something that rubbed her the wrong way.

 

She yelled at Phil. Told him Skye wasn’t Daisy (how ironic). She was annoyed (and a little jealous) of the relationship they were forming and for what reason? All this time, she never admitted it. She didn’t even allow herself to think about it. Skye was a reminder of what she didn’t have. And she was so mixed up with those emotions that if made her impossible to figure out why Skye rubbed her the wrong way.

 

_“You’re wasting your time. This girl is not a SHIELD agent. She will never be a SHIELD agent. She is hardheaded, vengeful and lets her emotions get the best of her. She is determined and not in a good way. Having her on the bus is pointless. Bringing her on this mission is dangerous.”_

 

When she got to the front door, Melinda pushed it open weakly as fatigue hit her from nowhere, and stepped outside. She winced as the sun hit her eyes. She headed straight for the SUV. Her entire body felt cold. She was so used to feeling nothing and now…she was feeling everything. All the pain and suffering, all the angst and depression, all the missed birthdays and Christmases…she was feeling every single thing she lost. All 18 years of it.

 

She never heard her speak her first words or see her take her first steps. She never read her bedtime stories or walked her to her first day of school. No Halloween costumes or Easter dresses. No summer vacations by the sea. Melinda could literally feel the pieces of her taped up heart break away.

 

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, she reached the SUV. She pulled the passenger door open and slipped into the confines on the vehicle. The sound of the door shutting echoed through her ear and the moment it did so, the tears she’d been holding in since the moment she saw that photo broke through and spilled down her cheeks in streams.

 

_“It does concern me because I know people like you. You’re a drifter. You’ve entered the lives of the people on this team and once you’re safe and free and clear, you’ll be gone just like that. You will leave your stain and it might not be removable.”_

 

“Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit,” she cried in anguish. She hit the dash board several times, ignoring the pain that shot up her hands and arms. She wrapped her arms around herself and began rocking back and forth. She let out a gruff strangled cry. Her throat felt like it was on fire and her tongue felt heavy and dry. Her breathing was coming out in sharp, irregular breaths.

 

Chills shot up and down her spine and dizziness hit her. Her vision was slowly turning black. She was going into shock. Any moment her body was just going to shut down and she was going to collapse. Maybe it was better this way. It was the least the deserved.

 

She was so out of it that she didn’t hear the door open. All of a sudden there was a pair of arms wrapped around her and pulling her out of the car and onto the ground.

 

“Shhh…” Phil whispered as he held her close and rubbed her back. “It’s okay May. Everything will be okay. Just breathe.”

 

She tried to listen to him and push everything else out of her mind. She closed her eyes and focused her breathing. His voice and the comfort of his arms began to soothe her after several minutes.

 

Her breathing began to even out. Her heart rate slowed and she stopped shivering. She was still exhausted and her throat still hurt but that was more from everything she just went through as opposed to her body going into shock.

 

“I think bringing her along is a reckless and stupid idea. She’s just a kid. A stubborn kid that doesn’t know how to listen. She will just be in the way.”

 

“How could I not see it Phil?” she whispered tiredly.

 

“It’s not your fault Mel. I didn’t see it either. But that is in the past and we can’t change that. What we can do is be there for our daughter. We have her back Mel. We can-”

 

Her eyes snapped open and she moved out of Phil’s arms. He looked at her questioningly as she stood up. “No.” She said as she shook her head rapidly. “We can’t tell her.”

 

He stood up. “What?” he asked shocked.

 

“She hates me Phil…our daughter hates me and I can’t say I blame her.” She explained brokenly.

 

“She doesn’t-” She cut him off.

 

“Yes, she does. I’ve been nothing short of malicious towards her. I just need some time. I need some time to make things right with her before we drop this on her.” She looked at him with pleading eyes. He looked so heartbroken. Guilt stung her heart. She knew she was being selfish but she couldn’t stand the idea of Skye finding out she was her mother and still hating her. “I’m sorry,” her voice cracked. “I know I’m being selfish-”

 

Phil wrapped her in his arms before she could finish. “It’s okay,” he whispered against her hair. “I get it. Now isn’t the right time. How about…we just play it by ear. Get to know Skye better and see where she stands with the idea of finding her parents. When the time is right…we will tell her. And we will make up for the past. She deserves justice for what has happened to her.” Melinda could feel his hands ball into fists against her lower back.

 

“The file?” she asked quietly.

 

“The stuff in that file…the torment she’s suffered,” Phil shuttered. “I knew she had it rough from what she’s revealed to Hayleigh and to us but my god, I didn’t know it was that bad May.”

 

“We will get justice for her,” she mumbled determinedly. And she meant it. She would track down those who hurt her child and make them answer for what they’ve done. She pulled back and looked at Phil. He nodded.

 

“Come on. Let’s head back to The Hub.” Without another word the two agents loaded back up into the SUV and drove to where The Bus was parked.

 

Once the plane was in the air and the coordinates were set, Melinda put the plane in autopilot and tried to relax into her seat. She needed to compose herself before they landed. She already seemed off this morning and she knew the team picked up on it. The last thing she needed was questions to be asked.

 

She decided to take a quick, hot shower. She didn’t see Phil on her way to the bathrooms. She figured her was in his office. He probably need time to compose himself as well.

 

After she showered, dressed in fresh clothes, and dried her hair, she went back into the cockpit. For the rest of the way home, she dozed in her chair. By the time they reached The Hub, she felt better. Not great, but better than before. She met Coulson in the cargo bay. He had changed too and looked much more relaxed. He gave her a smile – one which she returned – and they stood side by side as the ramp lowered.

 

“You ready?” He asked tentatively.

 

“Not really,” she breathed. “But let’s do this.” That was when Melinda felt it.

 

It was in the pit of her stomach. Something was…off. The feeling only got stronger as they stepped off the ramp. Everyone seemed panicked and rushing everywhere. The entire hanger was filled with whispers. Melinda shared a look with Phil and the two headed toward the entrance. When they entered the hub, there was red lights at the top of the walls flashing. The Agents inside were just as panicked as the ones in the hanger.

 

“Should we find Hand? See what’s going on?” she asked him as they turned corner after corner hurriedly.

 

“Hey,” he said as he reached out for an agent running past them. “What’s going on?”

 

“I’m not sure exactly,” the agent said as he gasped for breath. “There was some kind of chemical spill or gas leak in the lab. The entire thing was quarantined and there were two people trapped inside. I think they’ve been decontaminated and are being treated in the medical bay, but it’s pretty bad.”

 

Melinda felt her stomach drop. “What two people?” Phil asked urgently.

 

When the agent looked hesitant to answer, Melinda stepped forward. “What two people?” She repeated more firmly.

 

The agents swallowed thickly. “I don’t know their names. They are a part of some mobile unit.”

 

“FitzSimmons,” she breathed. She didn’t have to look at Phil to know that he heard her. They both brushed passed the agent without another word and headed toward the lab even more quickly.

 

“It must be the 084s,” Phil deducted. “God, this is my fault.”

 

She stopped and grabbed his arm. “It isn’t.” Her statement left no room for argument. “FitzSimmons love science and they were happy to help with studying these 084s. They knew there would be risks in this line of work. And this doesn’t mean they’re doomed Phil. Some of the worlds smartest minds are in this building. They will be okay.”

 

Phil just nodded half-heartedly before they continued their way to the lab. As they rounded the last corner, they ran into a very frightened looking Simmons. _Oh god_.

 

“May! Coulson!” She exclaimed with relief. “Thank god you’re back. I tried calling you several times.” Melinda realized that they must have left their phones on The Bus and just never checked them after they found out the truth.

 

“Simmons…” Coulson said slowly. “You aren’t trapped in the medical bay being treated?”

 

She shook her head slowly. Her lips were trembling and her eyes were filled with tears. “I was only gone for a few minutes,” she said hastily. “I went to update Agent Hand on the 084s. While I was gone, Fitz moved them closer together and-” _Oh god no_. Melinda swallowed thickly. Her eyes darted to the sealed off lab. She was too far to see anything other than the agents in hazmat suits.

 

“An agent told us there were two people in the medical bay…” Coulson tried to comprehend. He just didn’t want to admit…

 

Before Simmons could reply, Agent Hand walked up. Her face was grave and Melinda felt her stomach once again churn with nausea. _Oh please no_.

 

“Vic?” Coulson whispered. “What’s going on?” He looked so lost and broken. May’s heart hurt for him. “Who was trapped in the lab?”

 

Victoria looked at him with pity and squeezed his shoulder before reply. “Fitz and Skye.”

 

 _Oh god, please no…not her_. Melinda took off running. She didn’t give a damn what anyone thought of her. She only glanced at the lab as she ran past – completely ignoring the protest from the agents –, before heading into the medical bay across the hall.

 

She let out a strangled choke as she took in the scene in front of her. Skye was in one of the medical beds hooked up to at least six machines. Fitz was in the section next to her. They were both unconscious and had breathing tubes shoved down their throats. A machine was the only thing keeping her daughter breathing. She felt her knees go weak again. She felt a hand grab her arm. She turned to see Hand holding her up and looking at her questioningly.

 

She felt Phil arrive next to her just then. She heard him gasp. Melinda’s heart was threatening to break through her chest as she watched everything.

 

“They’re still quarantined?” She questioned quietly.

 

“We were able to send trained agents in hazmat suits in through the decontamination chamber. After the gas was released from the 084, Fitz and Skye passed out, regained consciousness a little while later, but they quickly deteriorated. It wasn’t long before they lost consciousness again so we sent the agents in to pull them out. We don’t know the full effects of the gas and we don’t know if they’re contagious so they have to remain in quarantine until we run the required test.” She explained gently.

 

Just then a loud, rapid beeping caught her attention. Her head snapped toward Skye. She was flatling. _No…not my baby_ …she internally cried. Melinda’s hands balled into fists as she watched several agents rush over to Skye with a crash cart. She should be in there, holding her…helping her…taking care of her. Please do not take her from me. She didn’t even know who she was pleading to. She definitely didn’t think they were listening.

 

Today, she got her baby girl back. And now…now she was watching her die. She knew she should try to be ‘glass half full’ instead of ‘glass half empty’ but all she could think about was the entire new list of things she would never be able to experience with her child.

 

May was going to lose her baby girl again…and this time she would not get her back.

 

_“My beautiful, baby girl. I love you so much. Hush, little baby, don’t say a word. Mama’s gonna buy you a mocking bird. If that mockingbird don't sing, Mama's gonna buy you a diamond ring. Sleep now, my angel. Mama’s here. Mama will always be here to protect you and to keep you safe.”_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m so sorry about the wait. Life and personal issues got in the way. I hope I did the reveal justice. I’ve been building up to this since the beginning.
> 
> I have a lot of things coming up, so I can’t guarantee when the next update will be but I’m always happy to give out sneak peeks and spoilers via tumblr.
> 
> Many thanks to Peter for editing and being supportive.
> 
> Follow me on Tumblr. Same username!


	10. Bitter Truths

_“It was amazing, wasn't it, how bad you could hurt when there was nothing physically wrong.”_

_Stephen King, Cujo_

* * *

The first thing Skye thought as she regained consciousness – but before she opened her eyes – was what on god’s green earth did she drink. There was a massive pounding in her head and she felt so nauseous it was truly miraculous that she wasn’t choking back vomit. Then she opened her eyes, winced in pain, and immediately shut her eyes again. The second thing she thought was that she didn’t actually drink _anything_ at all. She had been exposed to some weird (and most likely deadly) alien gas. _Just fucking great_.

 

A pained groan sounded from her right. She grimaced at sound. “Don’t groan so loud,” she hissed quietly.

 

“Don’t tell me what to do so noisily!”  Fitz bit back. After a moment he added, “are we dead?”

 

“God, I hope not.” She moaned. She rolled on her side – facing Fitz – and curled into a ball. “It would suck to spend the rest of eternity feeling like I drank 30 shots and then got hit by an 18 Wheeler.”

 

“Impossible,” Fitz sighed. “If you drank 30 shots, you would die of alcohol poisoning.”

 

Skye would have rolled her eyes if they were open. “Fitz, we’re probably going to die from exposure to an _alien gas_. You don’t have to be so logical.”

 

He snorted. “Fair point. Sorry.” After a moment he added “I feel like shit.”

 

This time Skye snorted. And immediately regretted it when it caused the pounding in her head to increase.

 

Just then a loud voice came over the intercom causing Skye to jump and immediately cover her ears. “Fitz? Skye? Are you two okay?” It was Victoria Hand. Skye liked Hand, she really did. But at the current point in time, she wasn’t a big fan.

 

Slowly, she opened her eyes. She blinked a couple of times, trying to adjust to the unnaturally bright light. Her eyes zeroed in on Fitz who was doing the same as she. “Fitz? Skye? Give some kind of signal that you’re okay!” Hand was louder and more panicked.

 

“Son of a bitch!” She cursed in annoyance. Fitz stood up shakily and offered Skye a hand. “Thanks.” She gave him a smile and took the hand. “Any chance we can blow the intercom up?”

 

“The explosion would hurt my ears…” They walked toward the entrance of the lab where Hand and Simmons – who both looked equally terrified and relieved – were standing with several agents in hazmat suits.

 

“My entire body aches,” she mumbled pitifully.

 

“The door is only about 15 or 20 feet away but I feel like it’s miles!” Fitz exasperated. Skye just laughed lightly. She understood completely.

 

“How are you?” Victoria asked through the intercom. She wasn’t as loud as she was a moment ago, but she was still loud enough that Skye flinched. Fitz mumbled something under his breath as he stood in front of Simmons and gave her a shaky smile.

 

“We’ve been better, but if you could stop talking through that thing, it would help.” She said as she gestured toward the intercom.

 

“Oh, sorry.” She replied sheepishly. “Can you tell me what happened?”

 

Skye looked at Fitz. “I moved the 084s closer together and the second one seemed to trigger the first one. The orb released some kind of gas into the air.”

 

“I hit the quarantine button as soon as possible so I don’t think any of it got out. It’s all stuck in here…with us. Horary.” She tacked on that last part sarcastically. She and Fitz shared a look.

 

“We’re going to get you both out of there,” Hand reassured. “We have the best of the best working on a plan. There is a decontamination chamber connected to the lab. Once we know opening it won’t release the gas into the rest of The Hub, we’ll get you two through it. Just sit tight.” She gave them both an encouraging smile. Skye had to resist the urge to roll her eyes – it helped knowing her head would probably revolt if she did. 

 

She glanced at Fitz. His attention was back on Simmons. They were having some kind of unspoken conversation. She had never realized how in synch they were. Sure they finished each other’s sentences and what not, but it appeared that the connection ran much deeper than that. She had the sinking feeling that neither one of the scientists has acknowledged – let alone discussed – these feelings. Maybe when they got out of here (she was deliberately avoiding the _if_ scenario) she would play matchmaker.

 

A sudden wave of dizziness hit her. “I need to sit down,” she muttered weakly to Hand before walking to the nearest seat. She laid her head on the table and closed eyes. Growing up, she had always hated being sick. She remembered getting the chicken pox when she was eight. It was the day after she had been sent back to the orphanage by yet another foster family. The nuns were too busy taking care of the babies and the other kids, so they just quarantined her in one of the rooms. It was freezing and the blankets she had were itchy. She was miserable and alone. And although she’d rather feel like that rather than this, there was one thing that was giving her a bit of comfort. This time, she wasn’t alone. Fitz was with her and there was a team of people trying to get them out. For the first time, she truly felt like she had a support system.

 

A minute later, she heard Fitz sit down next to her with a huff. “This is not what I wanted to do today.” he grumbled. She couldn’t help but snort and look up.

 

“Honestly Fitz, does anyone plan shit like this?” Fitz shrugged.

 

“Touché. But I think after we get out of this, I’m going to request a vacation.” He stated as a matter of fact. 

 

Skye smiled and laid her head back down. All was quiet for the next few minutes. As uncomfortable as she was, Skye could feel herself easily slipping back into unconsciousness. Which, thinking about it, probably wasn’t a good thing. But she was so tired. All she wanted to do was to curl back up into bed with Grant and…oh god. Grant. He was headed to the gym last she saw him. It wouldn’t take long for news of the quarantine to spread. Her heart hurt at the thought of the pain that would be on his face. She took a deep breath. It felt like her entire body was shutting down and she couldn’t let that happen. She needed to hold on until the agents on the other side figured out how to get them out. She needed to stay conscious so Grant could see that she was alright. She needed to fight. So, with a pained groan, she sat up. Fitz looked to be nearly unconscious as well.

 

“Fitz.” She called quietly. When he didn’t reply, she shook him gently. “Fitz.” She said louder.

 

“Bloody hell what?” He whined sitting up.

 

“We need to stay awake.”

 

“But it’s hard. It’s quiet and I’m sleepy.” He tried to lay his head back down but Skye stopped him.

 

“Then we will talk.” She suggested. “If we go to sleep, we might not wake up.” She said a little quieter. The reality of their situation was really starting to set in and she was beginning to feel the familiarity of fear creeping up on her.

 

“Okay.” He nodded. “Let’s talk.”

 

…

 

He thought it was just a drill or a small mess up in the lab. When he was going a few rounds with the punching bag and he heard the alarm go off, he shrugged it off. He never would have thought…

 

It wasn’t until he was unwrapping his hands that Victoria Hand made her announcement. “Contaminant released in lab 7, containment held and movement restrictions are hereby lifted, but the lab area remains restricted to authorized personnel only.”

 

Lab 7…that was the main lab in the Hub. The lab that FitzSimmons were in…the lab that Skye…He didn’t even change his clothes before he took off towards the lab where he was greeted by a cluster of sheer panic. Agents in hazmat suits were everywhere, checking things and looking at blueprints of the base, there was a group of scientist arguing in one of the rooms about something, and Agent Hand was shouting orders. He thought for a brief second that maybe it was FitzSimmons stuck in the lab, the two rarely separated, but then he heard his name called and he turned to see Simmons walking towards him with a few more scientist trailing behind her. All of them had different parts and pieces with them.

 

He felt his heart drop and quickly turned to peer into the lab from his spot. He couldn’t see anything. He looked back at Simmons, who was now right next to him.

 

“I’ll be there in a second,” she told the other scientist. They nodded and continued to their destination. He wanted to ask the question, but he was terrified of the answer. “It’s Fitz…and Skye.” Simmons said gently, as if she sensed what he was thinking (which to be fair probably wasn’t that hard since at the current point in time he wasn’t so much as focused on masking his panic as he was trying to see if Skye was okay.) “They seem okay, but we need to get them out of there fast before the gas they were exposed too had any permanent effect.”  He was about to ask her how long would it take when one of the scientist she was just walking with called her name. “I have to go, but don’t panic. We will get them out.”

 

Grant just nodded mutely and walked toward the glass that was sealed off. He was waiting for one of the agents to tell him to leave, but that never happened. Whether it was because this was part of his team or for some other reason he wasn’t sure, but he was grateful. He wasn’t positive he’d be able to retain from punching whoever tried to remove him.

 

He could see Skye and Fitz sitting at one of the closer tables. Both of their heads were resting on the table. At first glance they looked like they were sleeping, but he could see their mouths moving. They were talking, probably trying to keep each other awake. He swallowed thickly. His veins were coursing with emotion…emotion he hadn’t felt since he was a kid. He was terrified. If he lost Skye…he didn’t even want to think about it. He knew he wouldn’t recover. They hadn’t known each other long and they had only just established that they were both interested in seeing where this relationship would go, but none of that matter. She was different. She saw goodness in him and she never failed to point that out. Regardless of their first meeting – and the rockiness of their relationship for a little while after – she still chose to see the best in him. He wasn’t just some mindless solider or a weapon forged to win wars to her. She looked at him in a way he never thought anyone would. And he didn’t want to lose that. He couldn’t.

 

He felt someone approach but didn’t turn to look at them. He didn’t want to turn his eyes away from Fitz or Skye. They both looked so pale and weak. He could see sweat glistening on them and the slight shudder the coursed through each of them. They were rapidly declining.

 

“We should have them out within the next five minutes,” Hand told him quietly. “But looking at their state, I’m worried it might be too late…that the damage is irreversible. They’re keeping each other awake…but they are both slipping fast and if they go to sleep…they might not wake up.”

 

Grant shook his head in denial. He didn’t even want to think about that. “What happens after they’re out?”

 

“They will go through the decontamination chamber before being transferred to the medical bay. They will still be quarantined while our med team works on them, but if everything goes right, they will be better in a few days.” She explained. Grant just nodded. He didn’t trust his voice not to crack or waiver. “Why don’t you go shower and change. By the time you get back, they will hopefully be out.”

 

“I want to help pull them out,” he argued.

 

“You can’t. You are too close to this. You have to trust that my team will get them out.” Hand turned to him then. He could the see the emotions storming in her eyes. She was worried. “I’ll get them out Agent Ward.” He stared at her momentarily before storming off. Arguing would get him nowhere. She said to trust her, but he didn’t. He didn’t trust anyone and he knew without a shadow of a doubt that he could get Skye and Fitz out safely.

 

He went to one of the conference rooms near the lab. He was close enough to hear what was going on. He paced the room anxiously as he tried to figure out what he could do to help. He had never been one to just step to the side and let others do things. He wasn’t built like that. And he was bordering on desperate which was definitely not a good thing. He wasn’t thinking logically. Hand was right, he was too close to this, and he was about to do something incredibly stupid.

 

He ran his hands through his hair and let out a deep breath. The agents in the hall were discussing the plan. The decontamination chamber was set up and ready to go. They just needed to slip in, grab Fitz and Skye, and then slip out. Ward found himself thinking bitterly that if it were that simple, then why the fuck weren’t they doing something. Two people’s lives were at stake.

 

Being trained as a SHIELD agent helped Grant stay calm and collected no matter the situation. He excelled at schooling his emotions…usually. But this was different. The effects of the staff were still lingering and the thought of Skye dying made his blood boil and filled him with irrational thoughts. Which is what led him to his next action.

 

He stormed past the still talking agents and headed toward the decontamination chamber. He heard Hand yelling at him to stop, but he ignored her. Right before he opened the decontamination chamber, someone grabbed his arm and spun him around. He didn’t think, he just reacted. His fist collided with the jaw of whoever grabbed him. He could feel his hand sting, but he didn’t care. He began to struggle as more agents grabbed him.

 

“Put him in holding cell number one!” Hand instructed firmly. Grant struggled as they dragged him to the holding cell. As soon as they threw him in and shut the door, he furiously beat on the door.

 

He pounded and pounded and pounded until his hands bleed and he collapsed in exhaustion. He remained in a ball in one of the corners in the cell until Coulson came to get him hours later.

…

 

“And then Simmons said ‘It isn’t our fault that you don’t know what you’re bloody talking about. You’re supposed to be teaching us and I’m teaching you.’ I swear the professor turned as white as a piece of paper,” Fitz laughed as he finished his story. His laugh soon turned into a violent cough. He covered his mouth with his hand and as soon as he pulled that hand away, it was covered in blood. He swallowed nervously and took the rag Skye was offering him. “Thanks…” he murmured.

 

She smiled and looked at the agents near the decontamination chamber. “I think they’re about to come get us,” she tried to sound hopeful, but she felt so weak. Her throat was raw from coughing and her head pounded. All she wanted to do was sleep for a week…after they were safely pulled from the room.

 

“Let’s hope so.” Fitz grumbled.

 

Skye looked at him for a moment before saying “you should tell her.”

 

Fitz shot her a confused look. “Tell who what?”

 

Skye rolled her eyes. “You should tell Simmons how you feel about her.” She propped her head up on her hand and looked at him expectantly.

 

He scoffed. “I don’t have feelings for Simmons.”

 

“Yeah, okay.” She snorted before coughing violently. “Shit.” She groaned as she gripped her stomach with her free hand. “Fitz we are stuck in a lab with an alien gas that is literally tearing us apart on the inside…if that doesn’t prove how easily life could be over, then I don’t know what will. If we make it out alive, shouldn’t you take advantage of that second chance?”

 

Fitz pondered her words for a moment before asking “what if she doesn’t feel the same way?”

 

“What if she does?” She gave him an encouraging smile.

 

“I’m supposed to be the smart one you know,” he teased.

 

“What can I say? I’m chalk full of surprises.” The two of them laughed and for the fiftieth time that day, Skye found herself extremely grateful that Fitz was there with her. She wasn’t sure how long they had been trapped – it had felt like hours, but in reality, it was probably less than an hour – and she hoped the agents would get them soon. All they needed was to hold out a little while longer.

 

Of course, she thought too soon because moments later, it struck her. Skye felt her entire body go cold before the numbness set in. Her vision began to blur and darken. Dizziness swarmed her and she felt the last remaining strength she had leave her body. She saw Fitz reach for her, but he couldn’t catch her in time. She fell off the stool she was sitting on and slammed into the ground. The pounding in her head increased was her head smacked against the floor. She groaned softly as tears filled her eyes.

 

Seconds later, Fitz collapsed next to her. “If today is the day I die…I’m glad you were here with me.” She rasped.

 

“Me too...” Fitz breathed quietly. She gave him a tiny smile and reached for his hand. She intertwined their finger and squeezed weakly. The last thing she saw – before the darkness completely took over – was Fitz closing his eyes for the last time. She quickly followed in suit.

…

_It was a quiet whimper that had Phil sitting up quickly and scanning the dark bedroom. Melinda was still sound asleep next to him. Usually the sound would have woken her up too, but it had only been a week since they returned home with Daisy and Melinda was exhausted._

_Another whimper – soon the be a loud cry – sounded through the monitor. Phil slipped out of bed, clicked the monitor off, and headed out of the bedroom and down the hall to the nursery. Daisy was situated in the middle of her crib. Her face was scrunched up in preparation to cry, her eyes were wide and seeking, and she wiggled restlessly._

_“Hello angel eyes,” he whispered quietly as he reached in and picked up his baby. “What’s wrong?”_

_As if she understood what he was asking, she lifted her tiny arm and pawed at his chest. He chuckled at the gesture and turned to leave the nursery. Melinda always kept a few bottles of breast milk in the fridge for situations like this._

_Phil rocked Daisy gently – whispering quiet words of love – as they waited for the bottle to heat. Once heated and cooled enough for Daisy to drink it, Phil sat on the couch and adjusted them to where they were both comfortable. Daisy immediately latched on and began sucking down the bottle with vigor._

_“Definitely hungry,” he murmured as he watched Daisy._

_For the first few minutes of the feeding Daisy sucked – only pausing momentarily to breathe – with her eyes closed. But once Phil pressed a tender kissed on her forehead, she snapped her eyes open and looked at him._

_He felt his heart swell in his chest. She was looking up at him with her wide brown eyes – they reminded him so much of Melinda. They were so full of innocence and curiosity. Slowly, Daisy lifted her arm and place her tiny hand on top of his holding the bottle. He smiled gently down at her as he thought that he had never felt anything more perfect._

 

The room he sat in was dark and empty. He was on the floor – his back pressed tightly into the corner farthest from the door. His usually put together appearance was disheveled. His tie had been loosened – but still hung around his neck –, his suit jacket had been discarded somewhere to his right – he hadn’t even taken the time to properly fold it and lay it on the table in the room; he just shrugged it off and dropped it – and his hair was a mess – clear signs that his fingers had run through his thin locks multiple times in the last few hours. 

 

Phil felt sick as the seemingly never ending day finally started to wind down. His day began with a lead on his baby girl before it spiraled down a road filled betrayal – performed by someone he had once trusted his life with – and pain. If he were being honest, he hadn’t thought much of Fury and what he did. That didn’t mean he would forget – he could never forget or forgive that – but between discovering that Daisy was Skye – the hacker who had been right in front of him for _months_ – and returning to the Hub where he was informed that his daughter was in critical condition after being exposed to an Alien gas and that he might not get the reunion he used to dream about, his mind had been too preoccupied to turn to the traitorous former friend and mentor.

 

He was tired. He knew he should try and sleep but he also knew that he would not be able to until he received some kind of word on Daisy’s – _Skye_ , he mentally corrected – condition. So for now, he waited alone in a dark conference room. He wasn’t sure where May went. After Hand explained to them what had happened in the lab – that the two 084’s triggered each other and when Fitz moved them closer together, they released a gas into the air – she took off. He tried to follow her, but she disappeared. He knew her well enough to know that she would not be found until she was ready. So instead he returned to the lab where Hand was waiting – and watching – curiously. Thankfully, she didn’t ask and instead, she gave him the full detail of everything that had happened.

 

After the gas was released, Skye hit the quarantine button stealing Fitz, herself, and the gas in the lab. They weren’t stuck long – less than an hour – but it was long enough for the gas to start attacking their systems. A team in hazmat suits pulled them both into a decontamination chamber where they were stripped and cleaned before they were transferred into a quarantined section in the medical bay.

 

Things only seemed to escalate from there. They both began to disintegrate – they even flat-lined multiple times – before they were deemed somewhat stable. Simmons and the remaining scientist began working on an antidote to counteract the gas, but since the majority of the equipment was in the still quarantined lab, it would take a while. Phil stood as close as he could, watching and even praying that his team members – that his _daughter_ – would be okay. After a couple of hours, he was pushed out of the medical bay by the doctors so they could administer the antidote. That was almost an hour ago. He hadn’t heard anything since.

 

He buried his face in his hands and choked out a sob. Training as a SHIELD agent had helped him learn to school his emotions, but he just couldn’t do it anymore. Not at the current point in time anyway. He kept seeing flashes of his baby girl, giggling and kicking her tiny feet, before the images changed to her convulsing and flat-lining on a medical bed.

 

He felt his stomach churn at he darted to the closest trashcan where he dry-heaved – since there was nothing in his stomach – for a few moments. It was only when he was done that he felt a soothing hand on his back. He turned to see Hand kneeling next to him with a sympathetic look on her face. Neither one of them said anything as they moved to sit side by side with their backs pressed against the wall.

 

“Skye and Fitz are going to be okay,” Hand began gently. Coulson felt his breath catch in his throat and a small sense of relief settled on his shoulders.

 

“Thank you,” he said gruffly after he let the news sink in. From the corner of his eye he could see her nodding. Things fell silent for a few more moments before Hand continued.

 

“Melinda May is one of the coldest people I know. I don’t think I’ve ever actually seen her show emotions, but when she set her eyes on Skye…the look that crossed her face…Phil what happened today?”

 

He hadn’t actually seen the look on May’s face, but he assumed it mirrored his own – filled with sheer terror and anguish. He swallowed thick before turning toward Hand – at this point, his tears were flowing down his cheek.

 

“Skye’s our daughter,” he trembled out. Hand’s eyes widened and her mouth made an ‘o’ shape before she took on of his hands in both of her. “We managed to find the orphanage where she grew up. We spoke to the head nun and she told us everything.” He broke off and swallowed thickly. “To say we were shocked would be an understatement. She’s been right in front of us this entire time Vic. How did we miss it? How did I miss it? And now, it’s too late.”

 

“Phil…I’m so sorry.” He didn’t say anything nor did he turn to reply to her. What could be said to that? This entire situation was foreign and he couldn’t think how to proceed next. He felt frozen with one circulating thought in his head. _Skye was his daughter._ “It isn’t too late,” she added gently. “Skye will be okay. The antidote is working. Both she and Fitz have showed tremendous improvement. Soon, they will be out of quarantine and you’ll be able to see them. It’s going to be okay.”

 

Phil just nodded – not entirely convinced of Hand’s words. A silence settled over them once again. Hand wanted to say something – _anything_ – to help her friend, but she also knew that nothing could truly help at this moment. So she waited quickly, giving him the time he needed. It paid off.

 

Fifteen minutes later, Phil began talking. “I feel like an idiot. I dedicated my entire life to SHIELD – years of training – and yet I managed to miss the fact that my daughter has been right in front of my face for months. How could I have missed this? God, now that I think about it, she looks so much like May…” he trailed off deflated.

 

“It’s been 18 years Phil,” Hand said gently.

 

“That doesn’t matter. From the moment I met her, I’ve felt this unexplainable connection with her. I just brushed it off. I figured it was just my soft side feeling for a homeless teenager in trouble. I just never imagined that Skye could be Daisy.”

 

“No one could have. Don’t beat yourself up about this Phil.” Coulson opened his mouth to protest, but Victoria held up her hand. “No, listen to me. You lost 18 years with your daughter. And now you know that she’s been right in front of you for weeks. Yes, if you would have found out sooner that Skye was Daisy then you could have spent the last few weeks getting to know her. But the fact stands that you didn’t find out and you cannot change the past. What you can do is be there for her now. Both she and Fitz nearly died. Simmons believes if they were in that lab a few minutes longer, they would be dead or at least comatose. We saved them and it’s a miracle that they’re alive. Considering it was an alien gas that was literally attacking their system. They’re both alive Phil. I get that you need time, but now you need to be there. Not just for your daughter, but for the rest of your team.”

 

Victoria stood up and offered Coulson her hand. “What do you say?”

 

Coulson stared at her out stretched hand for a moment before accepting it. “Thank you,” he murmured as they walked out of the room.

 

“What are friends for?” she smiled. “Before we head to the lab, we have to talk about Ward.”

 

…

 

Ward was sitting in one of the holding cells – hands in his lap and head down – he looked nothing like the cold and calculating agent Coulson had first met. When he entered the room, Ward looked up briefly before looking back down. Coulson said nothing as he moved to sit across from the younger agent.

 

They sat like this for a few moments – Coulson trying to decide what to say and Ward waiting for what was to come. Usually, Coulson would have reprimanded him for punching an agent – one who was a level higher than Ward – and told him that whatever was going on between Ward and Da- _Skye_ had to stop. SHIELD was very strict about their no fraternization policy and even though Skye wasn’t an agent, she was working with SHIELD.

 

That is what he normally would have done, but things were far from normal. He wasn’t sure if he was about to approach this a boss or a father – even though he really had no right to approach it as the latter…not yet anyway.

 

Coulson took a deep breath before beginning. “You punched a senior agent. That is not acceptable and you are lucky that you aren’t going to get court marshalled.” Ward said nothing. Coulson continued. “I understand why you did it.” _I would have done the same_. Ward finally looked up – relief flickered on his face for a second.

 

“This team…we’ve become like a family.” _In more than one way._ “The way we do things on the bus…I like it. Everyone is on the same page and so far it’s working for us. But when it comes to the Hub and other SHIELD bases, we can’t act the way you did. Next time you might not get off so easily.”

 

“Yes sir,” was the only thing Ward said.

 

Coulson stood up. “Skye and Fitz will be okay. They’re both still in the medical bay but they should be out of quarantine soon. Check on our team and get some rest.”  Ward gave him a look of confusion, but he nodded and stood up.

 

“What about you, sir?” Coulson opened the door and stepped out. Ward followed him.

 

“I’ll be there soon,” he replied cryptically. “There are some things I need to take care of.” Ward just nodded and headed off to the medical bay. Coulson yearned to go with Ward. He yearned to see his daughter. It was no secret that from the moment they met, he had felt some kind of connection with Skye. Melinda had even pointed out – more than once – that Skye was not his daughter. He laughed bitterly at the irony of that.

 

In all honesty, he had no idea what to do next. Phil had never really heard Skye talk about her birth parents. He’s heard about several foster homes – all of which had his blood boiling even more – but he didn’t know where she stood with her real parents. Did she want to find them? Had she tried before? These questions had him wondering what her reaction would be when she learned the truth. Would she be happy that they were back together? Or would she be angry that they weren’t there for her?

 

His stomach churned at the thought of his daughter hating him for abandoning her. Of course, he didn’t, but she didn’t know that. His head was swarming and he knew there was only one person who could help him calm these thoughts and decide on the next course of action. So as soon as Ward was out of his sight, he turned to go find Melinda.

 

…

 

When Skye regained consciousness, she wanted to curl into a ball and cry like a baby. Correction, she was already crying. Hot tears were seeping out of her tightly shut eyes and rolling down her cheeks. All she had to do now was curl into a ball which she would do if everything didn’t hurt so badly.

 

Her head was pounding, her ears were ringing, her stomach was cramping, and her limbs felt broken and heavy. She tried to rack her brain for answers as to what happened to her, but everything was so fuzzy.

 

Skye shifted and immediately regretted it. She whimpered – actually whimpered like a baby – as the pain intensified. She was seconds away from crying out for someone to make it stop when two large, rough hands cupped her face and wiped away her tears. She wanted to open her eyes to see who it was, but she couldn’t find the strength to do so.

 

“You’re okay Skye,” she heard a familiar voice whisper gently. _Grant_ she thought. She nuzzled into Grant’s right hand and took comfort in the feeling of him wiping her cheek with his thumb.

 

“What happened?” her voice was low and gruff. She didn’t even recognize it.

 

“Your system was attacked by an alien gas that came from one of the 084s when it was triggered. You’re okay now – you and Fitz – but you are still recovering. Simmons said you’re going to be hurting for a few and that you will be extremely weak, but she’s expecting a full recovery.” While Grant was explaining what happened, memories began flashing through her mind. Fitz and her begin locked in the lab, talking to keep each other awake, collapsing on the floor and looking at each other as if they were the last person they would see. In all honesty, she believed Fitz was the last person she’d see.

 

“Where is Fitz now?” Grant began running his hand through her hair.

 

“He’s in the room next to you still asleep. Simmons is checking his vitals then she will be here. Do you need anything?” She felt Grant place a gentle kiss on her forehead after he asked his question.

 

She thought about it for a moment. There was one thing that sounded extremely appealing – after the less appealing thought that she would have to move to get to it. She decided it was worth it. Slowly, tentatively she opened her eyes. She winced at the light – which Grant immediately dimmed before returning to her side. He took her hand in his and waited patiently. “A bath?” it came out more of a question than a statement. She desperately needed one. She felt absolutely disgusting and the hot water might do some good for the pain.

 

“Okay, let me get Simmons and see if we can make that happen.” He gave her a small smile before kidding her hand and getting up. He paused and looked at her. “I’m really glad you’re okay…for I second I thought you were dead and I-” he broke off the sentence and shook his head.

 

She smiled weakly. “I’m glad too.”

 

Grant was only gone for a few seconds before he returned with Simmons on his heels. She gave Skye a warm smile as she approached the side of her bed. “It’s good to see you awake. How do you feel?” She asked tenderly.

 

“Like shit. Everything hurts and I feel disgusting.”

 

“You will be experiencing some pain for a few days, but it will fade. You can take a bath, but you have to have someone in there with you at all times. The alien chemical attacked your system severely and although we gave you the antidote, there will be side effects. One of which is loss of consciousness.”

 

“Right, no bathing alone or I’ll enter a watery grave.” She said jokingly. Simmons just rolled her eyes.

 

“I’d also suggest no walking. Your legs are very weak and walking will be extremely painful.”

 

“Okay so I need a patsy. Check.”

 

Simmons checked her vitals quickly before turning her attention back to Skye. “Although it is highly inappropriate and as your doctor I frown on it, as your friend it’s good to hear you joking. Both you and Fitz have been through a traumatizing ordeal. I am ordering bed rest for at least a week and even after that I’d suggest taking it easy. No field work. I would also recommend talking to someone. You could experience PTSD.”

 

Skye nodded and smiled before thanking Simmons. She didn’t say it, but the truth of the matter was, she’d had PTSD since she was 14 and her childhood was snatched away from her by the devil himself. She was just good at ignoring it which – thinking about it – probably wasn’t the best thing to do. She might just take Simmons advice and talk to someone.

 

After Simmons pointed out the bathroom – which was 10 feet away from her bed and super convenient – and informed Skye that she and Ward had already grabbed her a change of clothes when she and Fitz were still in quarantine, she left to check on Fitz. Skye looked at Ward who was starting at his hands.

 

“Earth to Ward?”

 

His head snapped up and he gave her a sheepish smile. “Sorry, just thinking.”

 

“That’s nothing new,” she teased. “Are you going to help me to the bathroom?”

 

Grant looked completely started at the question and Skye had to catch herself before she busted out laughing. “Me?” he asked dumbfounded.

 

“Well who else? I don’t think Simmons can lift me…although May could, we can barely tolerate each other – and that is putting it nicely – so she’ll probably just glare at me, and Coulson and I aren’t there in our relationship. Sure he’s become like the pseudo father figure…well actually that alone makes it weird. Plus, you’ve seen me half naked. I mean, we almost had sex yesterday and, plus, the muscles. I feel like that makes you qualified.”

 

She grinned as she watched Ward process what she said. After a moment he stood up and pulled the covers off of her. Gently, he scooped her up – one arm under her knee and one behind her back – and turned toward the bathroom. She wrapped her arms around his neck and tried not to wince. If she hurt from him just carrying her, she could only imagine if she would have been stubborn and tried to walk. She would have ended up face flat against the floor.

 

Ward set her on the bathroom counter before he grabbed a bag – she assumed was filled with her clothes- and closed the bathroom door and turning on the water. Once the water temperature was good, he plugged up the tub. He set the bag on the counter next to her and unzipped it.

 

“I, uh, grabbed your most comfortable looked pajamas as well as your tooth brush and paste, body wash, shampoo and conditioner.”

 

“I wonder if everyone else knows you’re secretly a giant teddy bear.”

 

“I am a highly trained, _deadly_ SHIELD agent.” He replied embarrassed. Skye snorted and reached for his hand. She pulled him in front of her and smiled.

 

“Thank you…for everything.”

 

Ward let out a deep breath as his shoulders slumped forward. He looked so vulnerable in that moment that Skye’s heart broke a little for him. She cupped his face – completely ignoring the pain that shot up her arms when she lifted them. “I thought I’d lost you,” he whispered. “I was literally about to walk into that lab without a hazmat suit on and pull you out. I even punched a senior agent. After that, Hand had me locked in a room and I almost went crazy thinking of what might be happening with you.”

 

Skye leaned forward and pecked his lips. “I’m okay,” she assured. “I am right here and I am not going anywhere. I’m sorry if I scared you.”

 

“You have nothing to be sorry for Skye. I’m just happy that you are going to be okay. You and Fitz. I just…I know we haven’t known each other long and that whatever romantic stuff is going on between us is still new and unlabeled but…I just can’t stand the idea of losing you.”

 

“You won’t.” She replied with force. “I’ve survived a lot. It’s going to take more than some alien chemical to beat me,” she smiled. It took a moment but finally Grant smiled too.

 

“So do you want to…?” Ward gestured to her clothes. She nodded in understanding. She began to life off her shirt as Ward turned toward the bathtub to check the water. Skye felt absolutely ridiculous. She was struggling to life her shirt over her head. Her arms felt heavy and weak and the pain shooting up and down them made her want to cry. She bit her lips and squeezed her eyes shut as she tried to let her stubbornness push her through the task.

 

After a few more moments of struggling, Skye felt Grant take over for her. He lifted her shirt and set it on the counter. Her eyes connected with his and she felt herself swallow thickly at the desire in his eyes. “Can you push yourself up for a few seconds so I can pull off your pants and underwear? I know it will hurt, but I will be quick.” He reassured gruffly.

 

Skye licked her lips and nodded. She didn’t fail to notice Grant following the movement of her tug. “Count of three?” She asked.

 

“Count of three,” he nodded. “One…two…three.” Lifting herself up hurt like a bitch and Skye couldn’t help the whimper that escaped her throat. It was over quickly but the pain lingered. Grant wrapped his arms around her and held her close. “I’m sorry…” he whispered.

 

“S’not your fault,” Skye replied tiredly. She nuzzled her face into his chest and relaxed a little. “Thank you.” She said when she pulled back. He smiled and cupped her face. His thumb gently ran over her cheek before pulling her face to his. The kiss was tender and slow. When he pulled away, they were both breathing heavily. She was slightly dazed and from the hooded look in his eyes, Grant was too. Skye smiled at him which he quickly returned.

 

“Are you ready?” He whispered. When she nodded, he stepped back. Before he could stop himself, he looked her up and down. She quickly moved to cover herself up, but he stopped her. “Don’t ever hide yourself from me,” he breathed. “You’re beautiful.” Skye blushed, but nodded.

 

Grant slipped an arm under her knees and one behind her back. She was quick to wrap her arms around his neck as he turned and carried her to the tub. He kneeled down slowly and allowed her to test the water. “It’s good.”

 

Once she was in the water, he grabbed her body wash and shampoo as well as a rag and began handing them to her. “Thanks.”

 

“Do you want me to wait outside? I’ll leave the door cracked.”

 

“You can stay…if you want.” Grant nodded before he moved to sit on the toilet.

 

Skye stayed in the bath until the water began to cool – and she regretted nothing. Once the water was cool and she was one hundred percent clean, Grant helped her out and helped her dress before carrying her back to her bed. Exhaustion was quick to settle over her. It had been a long day and her body had definitely been through the ringer. She rested her head on Grant’s shoulder. “Who moved the bed?” she mumbled.

 

“I did,” Simmons answered. She was standing near the curtain that separated Skye and Fitz’s room. “Well, I had some of the SHIELD agents do it. There is someone who wanted to be near you.” Simmons moved the curtain out of the way to reveal a very tiredly looking – but awake and smiling – Fitz. Once the curtain was out of the way, their beds were nearly touching.

 

“Fitz,” Skye smiled brightly.

 

“Hey,” Fitz answered. “I’m glad you’re not dead.”

 

“Me too.” Grant set her down gently. She reached for Fitz as Grant tucked her in. Fitz met her halfway and they intertwined their hands together. She rested her head against her pillow facing Fitz. Seeing him awake and smiling lifted a weight her shoulder that she didn’t even know she was holding. With her free head, she reached blindly for Grant. Thankfully, he seemed to understand what she was asking for. She heard him kick off his shoes and gently, he slipped into bed with her. Simmons shrugged off her doctor’s coat and set it on one of the chairs in the room before sitting on the edge of Fitz’s bed.

 

Skye tried to fight off her exhaustion. She wanted to stay up and talk and laugh with FitzSimmons and Ward, but with every passing moment she felt her eyelids grow heavier and heavier. Soon, she felt Grant wrap his arm around her waist and kiss her temple. “Sleep,” he whispered. “We’ll be here in the morning.”

 

“Promise?” she slurred.

 

“Promise,” he answered.

 

“Promise,” Simmons answered.

 

Fitz squeezed her hand. Using the last bit of strength, she had, she opened her eyes and looked at Fitz. He smiled warmly at her. She quickly returned it. “Promise,” he whispered.

 

The day was traumatizing and the effects would remain with her for who knows how long, but as unconsciousness claimed her, Skye felt peaceful. She fell asleep with a smile on her face.

 

…

 

_“Her preferred name is Skye_.”

 

Her knuckles were red and raw. She hadn’t bothered to wrap them properly – or at all for that matter – before she began to lay waste into the punching bag. With every hit, her knuckles burned. That was okay. The pain kept her grounded. The pain kept her from crawling inside her mind and disappearing like she wanted too.

 

_“She’s not Daisy! You’re standing up for this girl that you barely know. Defending her like she’s your child and she isn’t! She isn’t your child. Daisy is gone, we will never see her again, and you can’t use Skye to replace her.”_

 

She grit her teeth and began punching harder. She wanted the pain. She needed it. She didn’t want to think about her daughter and how she’s been right in front of her this entire time. She didn’t want to think about all the horrible, cold, and cruel things she’s said to her. She didn’t want to think about what will come next. She wanted to forger, but she knew that wasn’t possible. So she’d settle for focusing on the pain.

 

_“You’re wasting your time. This girl is not a SHIELD agent. She will never be a SHIELD agent. She is hardheaded, vengeful and lets her emotions get the best of her. She is determined and not in a good way. Having her on the bus is pointless. Bringing her on this mission is dangerous.”_

“Son of a bitch,” Melinda cursed as her knuckles began to bleed. She stepped away from the punching bag – it obviously wasn’t working – and turned. She stopped when she saw Coulson standing in the doorway watching her with concern.

 

“Are you okay?” he asked gentle. She shot him an incredulous look. “Right, stupid question. I meant your knuckles. You were going at it for a while.”

 

She ignored his question. “You were watching me?”

 

“I came to talk but when I was you, I figured I’d let you try to work out your frustration.” He explained. Melinda nodded but didn’t reply. Coulson took a few steps toward her. She sighed and sat down on the bench. She was not naïve enough to think she could escape this conversation. She might have wished, but she knew she couldn’t avoid.

 

_“It does concern me because I know people like you. You’re a drifter. You’ve entered the lives of the people on this team and once you’re safe and free and clear, you’ll be gone just like that. You will leave your stain and it might not be removable.”_

 

“What do you want to do?” She went straight for the point. Coulson sighed and sat next to her.

 

“I want to talk about when we’re going to tell Dai- _Skye_ that we’re her parents.”

 

“We’re not.”

 

“Right I was-wait what? What do you mean we’re not? May, she’s out daughter. The daughter we never thought we’d see again. She’s right there!”

 

“I’m well aware of the situation Phil. But I also know that she doesn’t want to know us.” Melinda inwardly cursed. She wanted to tell him in a much gentler manner, but it was too late now.

 

“What? How could you possible know that?”

 

She looked at Phil. His eyes were filled with confusion and hurt. “I’ve been doing some thinking since I left the medical bay…thinking of what we should do, how to handle this situation, what would happen if–” she broke off and took a deep breath. She fidgeted uncomfortably. “What would happen _if_ Skye doesn’t pull through and we never got the chance for that reunion. I’ve also been thinking about what I know…what I’ve heard.”

 

“Heard? Mel, you’re not making any sense.”

 

“I overheard something a few weeks ago. I didn’t say anything to you, because at the time, it didn’t make a difference…I never though…” she trailed off.

 

Coulson sat quietly for a moment before hesitantly asking “what did you hear?”

 

_“What happened to your parents?”_

_“I don’t know. They left me on the doorstep of the orphanage. They couldn’t even wait for someone to answer the door and hand me off. They just left me in the middle of a thunderstorm. Fucking assholes.”_

_“You’ve never tried to find them?”_

_“I never saw the point. They didn’t leave a note and they sure as hell didn’t stick around for the nuns to see them and give me any kind of description. They left me swaddled in a dirty blanket. They obviously didn’t want me, so why would I put my time and effort into finding them?”_

“She thinks we abandoned her Phil…” Melinda felt her heart tighten at the admission. There was a difference between not knowing where her daughter was or if her daughter was even alive and seeing her daughter everyday knowing that it is only possible to love her from a distance. The though was torturous and it was ripping Melinda apart inside.

 

Phil stood up and began pacing. “We can tell her the truth May.” He argued.

 

“It won’t matter…she grew up believing one thing. Just because we explain what happened won’t change a single damn thing. She will also have doubts. She will never fully trust us.”

 

“You don’t know that.” His argument was weak and Melinda knew it.

 

“Not for sure, but I can guarantee you I don’t want to find out. I wouldn’t be able to recover from that Phil. And neither could you.” Melinda watched as he processed – and excepted if the hunch of his shoulders and the look on his face were anything to go by – her words.

 

“I don’t know how I will be able to see her every day and not treat her like a daughter,” he mumbled sullenly as he sat back down.

 

“You don’t have too,” she placed her hand on his leg. “You’re already kind of a father figure to her. Just keep treating her the way you did before we discovered the truth.”

 

“What about you?” She gave him a sad smile.

 

“She hates me…and I might be able to try and repair that, but it will take time. I’m just happy knowing that she is safe and with us…even if she doesn’t know it.” Phil nodded. The two remained quiet for several minutes as the past day settled upon them. This was something that was supposed to be happy. Whether they admit it or not, both agents have thought about this reunion several times over the years. Never once did they imagine it happening this unhappily.

 

After a few more moments of silence, Coulson stood up. “Fitz and Skye should be out of quarantine now. I was going to go check on them.”

 

May nodded and stood too. “Let me shower and change quickly. I’ll accompany you.” Coulson nodded once before May grabbed her things and headed toward the shower.  She hesitated at the entrance to the showers. She turned back to Phil. He looked so devastated and her heart broke for him. Guilt chewed at her. “I’m sorry to ask this of you. I know it’s incredibly selfish of me…”

 

Phil looked up at and gave her a sad smile. “I’ll always love you Mel. And I would never want to purposely hurt you. So if you need me to keep the truth from Skye, I will. I just-” he hesitated for a moment. “I just hope it’s not forever.”

 

“It’s not,” she said without hesitation. “I just…I need some time.” He nodded.

 

“I understand.” She wasn’t sure if he was just telling her that to make her feel bad or if he really meant it. Either way she smiled and said ‘thank you’ before entering the showers.

 

An uneasy feeling settled in her stomach as she thought about seeing Skye in the hospital bed, unconscious and connected to wires. She tried to ignore it, but she knew her efforts were in vain. Because now that she knew Skye was her daughter, this feeling would never go away.

 

She turned the shower on full blast and quickly shed her cloths. It didn’t take long, after she stepped into the steaming hot water, for the tears she’d been holding in began to flow.

 

It was there, in that shower, that Melinda allowed herself to completely break down for the last time. Once she was out of the shower, she would slip back on the mask she had become so accustom to wearing. In order for her to survive this situation, she would have to control her emotions to a T.

 

But at that moment in the shower, she sobbed and screamed and breathed so heavily that she nearly passed out. She slipped to the floor and curled into a ball. With her eyes closed, she pictured Skye as a baby with her big brown eyes and her gummy smile. She pictured rosy cheeks and her chubby little legs. God, she was such a happy little baby.

 

She went through all of the little things Daisy – Skye now – used to love to do as a baby. One, she loved to lay on her back and kick her legs in the air. When Melinda was pregnant, she used a kick a lot. She had such strong little legs. Two, she loved to chew on things – especially Phil’s ties. If he was wearing one and holding her, without fail it would end up soaking wet with her slobber. She ruined several of them, but Phil never minded. It was worth it for the smile that would appear on her face.

 

Three, she loved to talk. Well, baby talk at least. There were some nights when Melinda would wake up and just listen to her gibber gabber over the baby monitor. Melinda had no idea what she was saying, but she was always so animated. There were a few times when Melinda would stick her head in the nursery and Daisy would be moving her hands every which way when she talked. The image made Melinda smile through her tears.

 

Four, she always giggled loudly when you blew raspberries on her belly. Her giggles were like music to Melinda’s ears. _God_ , she missed that sound so much. Five, she blew the biggest spit bubbled kisses and every time Melinda was smacked with one, she laughed heartedly.

 

There were some many more things Melinda could remember about Daisy. Her beautiful, happy, goofy little girl. She knew everything there was about her child when she was a baby. 18 years later and she knew nothing. Her daughter was a stranger. She didn’t even have the same name. And that wasn’t Skye’s fault. Melinda knew _exactly_ who was at fault and the next time she saw him, he would pay.

 

Melinda assured Phil that this secret would be temporary, but truthfully, that was a lie. She wasn’t one hundred percent sure if she would ever be ready to tell Skye the truth. Yes, she was absolutely terrified of what Skye’s reaction would be, but that wasn’t just it. She was also terrified that her reaction would be a good one. She was terrified of the chance that Skye would want to get to know her as a mother. And she was terrified that she would lose her daughter all over again. It was too big of a risk. She just needed to figure out a way to keep postponing Phil’s plea to tell her. Whatever it took, Skye would not find out the truth.

 

…

 

After she was showered and dressed, Melinda and Phil headed toward the medical rooms Fitz and Skye were in. Both agents were solemn and quiet. There wasn’t much that could have been said during their walk.

 

It wasn’t late – barely 9 pm – but Melinda should have figured after the experience they went through, both Fitz and Skye would be asleep. Although, she definitely wasn’t prepared to see Grant Ward curled protectively around her daughter. She looked at Coulson who didn’t look nearly as shocked as she’d expected.

 

“Did you know?” She asked with slightly narrowed eyes. Just because she planned to keep her distance from her daughter didn’t mean she wanted Skye to be involved with Grant. Grant was a good guy and an outstanding agent. He had a dark past, but so did Skye. It was the fact that he was a SHIELD agent and if she was with him, her chances of getting caught in the crossfire were high. Especially once she is safe from those four goons Vincent, Marks, Castillo, and Killian. Grant – as good of agent as he was – could also get injured or killed. The idea of her daughter suffering from something like that did not sit well with her.

 

“I knew something was going on…but between everything, I haven’t had a chance to talk to them.”

 

“And that’s okay with you?” She questioned suspiciously. She looked back at Skye. Her heart melted a little when she noticed Fitz and Skye holding hands. Those two definitely had an unbreakable bond now.

 

“Well as long as it doesn’t affect the missions, I don’t see why I should stop them. Skye isn’t a SHIELD agent.” His explanation made sense, but it annoyed May.

 

“So? Them being together is still dangerous. And what about-” she didn’t get to finish her sentence because someone behind her cleared their throat. Both May and Coulson turned to see Simmons standing there with a tablet.

 

“Simmons? Everything okay?” Coulson took a step forward.

 

Simmons looked between both of them, she hesitated before finally answering him. “I was the last one awake. Fitz and Skye fell asleep rather quickly – can’t say I blame them – and Ward and I made small talk until he, too, passed out leaving just me and my thoughts which isn’t always a good thing. I tried to get comfortable and fall asleep, but something didn’t sit right with me.”

 

“What do you mean?” May asked.

 

“Fitz is okay. His blood is clear, his results are normal, and other than the lingering side effects, he is doing good. So I know it wasn’t the alien chemical to cause the anomaly.” Melinda wasn’t entirely sure what Simmons was getting at, but she had a sinking feeling in her gut. She spared a glance at the three sleeping people. Her eyes lingered on Skye’s face – or what she could see of it. She looked so peaceful. “And then I remembered when Nystrom and his followers were on the Bus, Nystrom was holding Skye up and looking at her like she was the key to all powers. So it really started to bug me and-”

 

“Simmons!” Coulson said loudly. “You’re rabbling. Tell us what is wrong.”

 

Simmons handed Coulson the tablet. May stepped closer to him to see the screen. After a moment, both agents looked up. Neither one of them was sure what they were looking at. Simmons looked at them sadly with distress lingering in her eyes as she clarified “There is something wrong with Skye.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, first off let me say I am so sorry for the wait. I haven’t given up on this story, but I did lose interest with AOS for a while. In addition, I’ve had a busy few months. I’m in school to be certified to teach and I had to take a big test that allowed me to become certified a few months ago so I was busy studying. Then, I was working two jobs and working on school work as well as sitting in a classroom observing a teacher – which turned into a job. A teacher at a local high school went on maternity leave and I took over her class. Good news is that I am officially on summer break so hopefully updates will come sooner.
> 
> Second, I am pointing out that although Skyeward is not the main arc of this story, I am building up their relationship. I try to keep the chapters balanced for those of you who aren’t a fan of Skyeward, but at the end of the day, they will be in this story. It is safe to assume that my Ward will be vastly different than on the show. And if there is a Skyeward sex scene (which is actually coming up) I will try to label it so those of you who aren’t interested can just scroll past.
> 
> Thank you to everyone who has been patient with me and who has stuck with this story. You all are the greatest and I hope this update was worth it. And many thanks to my beta, Peter, for betaing. 
> 
> Follow me on Tumblr! Same username.


	11. Tortured Reflection

_“To live in this world you must be able to do three things to love what is mortal; to hold it against your bones knowing your own life depends on it; and, when the time comes to let it go, to let it go”_

_-Mary Oliver_

* * *

 

 It happened in slow motion. One second she was sparring with Agent Hand and the next second she was flying through the air and hurdling to the ground. Her back hit the blue training mats with a resounding smack that echoed throughout the gym and had the other agents working out wincing. They understood the pain.

 

“Oh god, I think I’m dying **,** ” Skye moaned. She tried to curl up into a ball and just disappear into the floor, but her arms and legs wouldn’t move. Every part of her hurt and all she wanted to do was to soak in a very hot bath and not move for a week. Unfortunately, she did not have that option. It made her want to cry.

 

“Stop being dramatic. Get up, we aren’t finished **,”** Victoria said firmly. The older agent grabbed her bottle of water and took a drink.

 

“You do know that I’m supposed to be taking it easy right?” Skye groaned as she stood up. It was a cheap excuse and she knew it, but a girl had to try. Especially when she’s being tortured. She rested her hands on her knees and she hunched forward as she tried to catch her breath.

 

“I know you were supposed to take it easy the first few days after the lab incident. It has been a week and a half. Now I know you’re supposed to be working on strengthening your muscles, which is what we’re doing.”

 

Victoria tossed her a water bottle which she surprisingly caught. She drank several big sips before she twisted the cap back on and tossed it back.

 

“Really? Because it seems like you’re just beating me up and making me suffer.” Victoria rolled her eyes and motioned for Skye to get in the defensive position they’ve been working on. Skye really wanted to stomp her foot like a petulant child, but she swallowed that urge and got into position.

 

“Why are we ‘strengthening my muscles’ like this?” she asked as an afterthought. “Why not just a workout?” Skye ducked as Victoria swung at her and then blocked a kick.

 

“You need to hold your arms up higher in order to block right,” Hand explained. “And correct me if I am wrong, but you want to stay with Coulson’s team even after you’re safe, right?” Skye hesitated for a moment before she nodded. She hoped Victoria didn’t notice her hesitation. She didn’t want to explain why she was second guessing her decision to stay on the team once the danger had passed.  Luckily, she took two swings at Victoria - both of which were blocked, of course, but the subject was successfully changed.

 

_She makes it seem easier than it is,_ she snarked internally when Hand stopped her side kick.

 

“Then you need self-defense. You’ve already been in far more life-threatening situations than I like.” Skye’s heart jumped at the admission. She didn’t think she’d ever get used to someone genuinely caring about her. “It makes me feel better knowing you’d be able to at least be able to defend yourself if it comes to it.”

 

“Can’t really fight a semi-invisible alien gas,” Skye muttered sarcastically. She smiled when Victoria narrowed her eyes into a glare at her.

 

“I know it will make Coulson feel better too,” she said, obviously choosing to ignore her sarcastic comment.

 

Skye froze for a moment and her first reaction was to say “Yeah, right.” She bit her lip and tamped down her anger before she replied.

 

“Speaking of Coulson, where is he? I haven’t seen him since I was in the med bay and that was only because he was looking for Simmons. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think he was avoiding me.” If Victoria noticed the snide in her tone, she didn’t comment on it.

 

“He’s a busy man **,** ” Victoria explained calmly. “That’s the life of a high level S.H.I.E.L.D  agent.”

 

“Yeah, okay **,** ” Skye replied sarcastically. “It’s just...nevermind.” She threw her hands up in defeat. She had been good at hiding it, but truthfully, Coulson’s avoidance of her was really getting on her nerves. At first, she was hurt, but the more time that passed, the more annoyed she became. Victoria gave her a look that said she wanted to press the matter more, but after a moment, she nodded.

 

“Okay, let's go a few more rounds and we’ll call it a day.”

 

“Who is going to train me once we’re back on the plane?” Skye asked as she got back into position. Victoria smiled at her.

 

“Agent Ward has offered to.”

 

Skye groaned. Of course he would. For a split second, she thought maybe he’d take it easy on her and then she chuckled internally. This was Ward she was thinking about. Of course he wouldn’t take it easy.

 

…

 

After an extremely long hot bath, Skye curled up on her hotel room couch. Grant was doing something in the kitchen - she was curious as to what, but she was too tired and sore to actually go and see.

 

“Do you want to watch Game of Thrones with me?” she called to him.

 

“The newest episode?” he answered back.

 

“Yes.”

 

“Uh, sure, but you might have to tell me what’s going on. I’ve never seen an episode **,** ” he explained almost sheepishly.

 

Skye gasped dramatically.

 

“This is something we need to fix immediately.” She grabbed her laptop from the computer table and began typing fast. “You’ve been so deprived, you poor soul.” She was too focused on her computer to see Grant roll his eyes at her over-reaction.

 

“Isn’t there a set of twins sleeping together in that show or something?”

 

“Ah yes. Cersei and Jaime Lannister.” Skye nodded. She turned to look at him. He was working on something at the kitchen island. She turned back into her computer and continued typing.

 

“So the twin sisters are sleeping together?” She could practically see the face he made when he said that.

 

“No, Jaime is a boy.”

 

“Jaime is a boy? What kind of a name is that for a boy?” Grant asked incredulously.

 

“I like the name Jaime for a boy!” she exclaimed, causing Grant to laugh. “Bite me.”

 

Everything was still for a moment before Skye felt something being placed on her shoulders. A feeling of warmth surrounded her.

 

“My Game of Thrones blanket?” She looked up at him curiously.

 

Grant leaned down and kissed her.

 

“I figured you’d want it while we’re watching the show. And I know it’s your favorite.”

 

Skye’s breath caught in her throat and her jaw dropped a little. Her heart began to beat faster. Her stomach began to flip, just a little bit, even as the feeling of security washed over her. She wondered if this was what true happiness felt like. That thought scared her slightly. She couldn’t remember the last time she felt like this. The feeling itself was amazing and beautiful, but the fear that was currently creeping up on her diminished it a little. She was happy, finally, but now she had something that would destroy her even more if she lost it.

 

Before she could say anything, he walked back into the kitchen and returned a moment later with two mugs.

 

“What is this?” she asked as she took  the mug he offered her.

 

“Hot chocolate **,** ” he replied **,** before sitting down next to her on the couch. Skye took a sip of the hot chocolate. As the familiar taste filled her mouth, her eyes widened. She looked at Grant, who was looking at her.

 

“How did you know?” Skye asked. She had always made her hot chocolate a certain way. She made it with milk, instead of water, and she always mixed in a little vanilla creamer before adding a layer of marshmallows, whipped cream, and sprinkling cinnamon on top.

 

“I saw you make it once, when you first joined the team **,** ” he explained, almost as if it was nothing.

 

“And you remembered?” Her voice was barely over a whisper at this point. Tears filled her eyes and caused her vision to swim.

 

Grant shrugged.

 

“It’s no big deal. I have a good memory and the recipe is pretty simple.” Skye almost rolled her eyes **,** sometimes he was so clueless. Skye set her cup down and scooted closer to him.

 

“It’s a bigger deal than you realize,” she explained softly. “Thank you.” She cupped the back of his neck and kissed him slowly. He set his cup down and shifted so that he was facing her and holding onto her hips.

 

This kiss was short, but when Skye pulled away, they were both breathing heavily. Skye gave Grant a smile - which he returned - before she moved to snuggle into his side.

 

“I didn’t think this hotel had HBO,” Grant said off -handedly.

 

“They don’t.” Grant looked at Skye but she just shrugged **.** “What? I’m a hacker. I can do things.”

 

Grant didn’t say anything in reply. He just shook his head and laughed before he pressed the play button.

 

...

 

Phil let out a deep sigh as he entered his hotel room. The last week and a half had been long and filled with more twists and turns than he could comprehend. From everything with Skye - the truth, the near death, what Simmons told him - to trying to track down Fury, it was all becoming too much.

 

With every day that passed, Phil could see the bags under his eyes grow. He wanted nothing more than to sleep for a week, but he didn’t have that luxury. He was the boss and tomorrow he was receiving a mission briefing. Soon, his team would be back in the sky. He would have to end his hunt for Fury - temporarily - and act as if nothing was bothering him.

 

“You must be tired if you didn’t even notice me,” a voice startled him. He spun around to face his living room with his suit jacket half-off and a deer caught in headlights look on his face.

 

“Vic?” he asked confused. “What are you doing? Is that from my mini bar?” He motioned for toward the nearly empty tumbler in her hand.

 

Vic finished off the rest of her drink and set the tumbler down on the coffee table.

 

“Yeah **,** I helped myself. You can afford it.” She stood up and straightened out her suit. Phil watched as she rounded the couch and came to stand in front of him.

 

“Is that why you’re in my hotel room? To drink from the mini bar?” Victoria shook her head and before Phil could comprehend what was happening, Victoria raised her hand and smacked him upside the head.

 

“Oh! What the hell **,** Vic?” Coulson rubbed his head and glared at the agent.

 

“You’re an idiot **,** you know?” Victoria put her hands on her hips and Phil felt like he was about to be scolded by his mother.

 

“What did I do?”

 

“Do you want to lose Skye forever? I understand why you aren’t telling her. I don’t agree, at all, because that girl deserves to know she has parents who love her and who have always wanted her. But, in your and May’s decision not to tell her, you forgot one important detail.”

 

Phil swallowed thickly. His mind started to race. What had he forgotten? He had been so careful. Hell, he hadn’t even seen Skye since she was in the med bay and even then, she wasn’t conscious.

 

“What?”

 

“Skye is a genius. She knows you're avoiding her and she’s hurt and angry over it. And considering all the betrayal that girl has experienced, do you really think she is going to be okay with your painfully obvious avoidance of her? No, she is going to get defensive real fast in order to protect herself.”

 

Phil’s face resembled that of a lost puppy as he took in what Victoria was saying. He knew, from the moment he agreed with Melinda, that there would be complications and consequences. He had just hoped he’d have more time before those hit.

 

“What can I do?” he asked. He scrunched his face up at how pathetic his voice sounded.

 

“You could tell her **,** ” Victoria snarked. “But, since you’re taking the path an idiot would take, I would suggest acting the same as always? You haven’t been around her and she’s already picking up on your behavior. With May **,** it’s different. She’s perfected the stone cold bitch act. But you,” Victoria broke off and laughed. “You currently look like a puppy that just got kicked.”

 

Phil sighed and headed to the mini bar to fix himself a drink. He downed it quickly and fixed  another one. He wasn’t one to typically drown his sorrows, but this situation needed alcohol.

 

“I never thought I’d find her, you know?” Victoria didn't speak. She just nodded and motioned for him to continue. “And now I have. She’s been right in front of me and I have no idea what to do. I want to tell her, but I’m scared too. Everything she’s been through...she tried to kill herself **,** Vic! She nearly did. I was so close to losing her for good and I had no clue.”

 

He slumped down on the couch in defeat. Victoria sat next to him and placed her hand on his knee.

 

“I know. None of you deserved this. But thinking about the past isn’t going to change anything. Blaming yourself isn’t going to change anything. The only thing that is going to change something it telling her the truth and working through it. That is the only way any of you are going to heal.”

 

“You’re right…” Phil sighed. “Maybe once things settle down, I can talk to Melinda. You know how stubborn she can be, but maybe she can see reason.”

 

Victoria snorted.

 

“Just don’t wait too long okay? The longer you wait, the worse the betrayal will feel to Skye.”

 

A comfortable silence settled over the two agents. Phil took a sip of his drink and thought about different ways to approach Melinda on the subject of telling Skye the truth. Phil agreed with Melinda on why she didn’t want to tell Skye because there was a big part of him that feared she was right, but there was a small voice inside his head that kept saying exactly what Hand was saying. What _if_ Skye didn’t react badly? What if she was actually happy? It dawned on Phil that he had the power to give Skye something she had never had. He had the power to completely change her outlook on life. She wasn’t unwanted. In fact, she was very wanted. All those fears and doubts she had growing up...thinking she wasn’t wanted...he could change that.

 

Victoria got up to fix herself another drink before sitting back down on the couch. Phil leaned forward to set his tumbler on the coffee table before leaning back and loosening his tie.

 

“So **,** what can you tell me about this new op?” Phil asked curiously. He needed a change of subject. However, he wasn’t expecting much of an answer, but the fact that it involved one of the S.H.I.E.L.D Academies, Sci-Tech, he had been wondering about it.

 

Victoria smirked.

 

“I was wondering if you were going to ask and that is also another reason why I came to talk some sense into you.” Phil looked at her with a raised eyebrow and leaned forward. “The op is very time sensitive and it’s an undercover op.”

 

Phil nodded his head. “Okay?”

 

“FitzSimmons went to Sci-Tech and were well known, Ward is well known from Operations, and you and May have quite the reputation.” Victoria was talking around it, but it dawned on Phil what she was trying to say.

 

“You don’t mean…” he trailed off.

 

Victoria nodded.

 

“Skye is going to go undercover at Sci-Tech. The remaining members of your team will stay on the bus in a secure location. No one can know you are there or that Skye is undercover. It could blow everything.”

 

Panic began to seize Phil.

 

“What exactly is going on Victoria and don’t tell me that you can’t tell me.”

 

“Okay,” Victoria said calmly. “I will tell you what I know, which isn’t much. Tomorrow **,** Agent Weaver will call and brief you and your team fully. She is going to be the only agent at Sci-Tech who will know about Skye and your team.”

 

Coulson nodded, but didn’t say anything. He remained still, his eyes never leaving Hand as she told him what she knew. His face did, however, become increasingly pale as he listened.

 

…

 

It was 3 am and everyone was sleeping. Everyone but Melinda May. No, Melinda May was not sleeping – which seemed to be the norm these past week and a half. Her mind was constantly going back and forth _._ She kept thinking about her daughter. Skye. May still cannot fathom how she missed it. Skye was so much like her and Phil. 

 

She was stubborn like May. 

 

She was compassionate like Phil. 

 

She had a fire inside of her like May. 

 

She fought tooth and nail for who and what she believed in like Phil. 

 

Maybe she didn’t want to see it. Maybe she couldn’t see past the pain of losing her baby. Maybe this, maybe that. There were so many different variables and what ifs. There were two things Melinda knew for sure. 

 

One, Skye was her daughter – there was definitely no doubt since Simmons ran a DNA test. Two, Skye could never know. It tore Melinda up inside just knowing she couldn’t wrap her daughter in her arms. And it made her nervous how many people knew (it wasn’t that many, but it was still more than she wanted). 

 

Victoria Hand obviously knew **,** Phil had told her. May wasn’t worried that Hand would spill the secret – she cared for Phil too much to do that – but she was tired of the dirty looks the other agent gave her every time they were in the same vicinity. May felt shitty enough as it was. She didn’t need someone who knew nothing of what she was going through to judge her and look at her like she was the worst person in the world. 

 

Simmons also found out. May and Coulson hadn’t planned for her to find out. They had no choice but to tell her if they wanted to help their daughter. 

 

_“There is something wrong with Skye_ **,** _”_ Simmons had said before she went on to explain – in very scientific terms – that when looking at Skye’s labs and blood tests, genetically, there was something wrong with her. There was some kind of anomaly in her DNA. The worst part about it was that Simmons couldn’t actually say what it was. 

 

Absolute terror coursed through May when Simmons – one of the smartest people she knew – couldn’t tell her what this anomaly was or what it did. 

 

“I’m not sure if it’s something genetic or if it is random,” the scientist had explained. “It would help tremendously if I had a biological parent to contact for a blood sample, but since Skye is an orphan, I fear that might be a long shot.” 

 

Before Melinda could even blink, Coulson had rolled up his shirt sleeve and stuck his arm out. Melinda couldn’t even find it in her to be pissed because she was about to do the same. Just because she wasn’t going to tell Skye she was her mother, didn’t mean she was going to sit by and doing nothing when there could be something very wrong with her daughter. 

 

Of course, once Coulson did stick out his arm, Simmons looked at them like they were both crazy. That led to a very quick back story and a confusing explanation. 

 

“I don’t know how I didn’t see it before…she’s kind of a perfect mix between you two,”  Simmons said thoughtfully as she looked between the two senior agents.

 

And that was the question of the year. How was this not seen? 

 

“You _cannot_ tell her,” Melinda stated as Simmons began to draw blood. Simmons looked at her momentarily before nodding. 

 

That was a week and a half ago and Skye hadn’t come storming down from the hotel to find her or Coulson **,** so she assumed Simmons was keeping their secret.  

 

For the most part, May had kept her distance. When Skye was still confined to the hospital bed in the med bay, every once in awhile May would stick her head in and check on her **.** But she never made her presence known or spoke to the young woman. Mostly it was because she was afraid the moment she did, she’d spill her guts. She usually had amazing self control, but she wasn’t willing to risk it. Not when it came to her daughter.  

 

The other reason was that Skye hated her and most definitely believed that May hated her back, so checking in on her would raise some flags. It was better to be safe than sorry. She wasn’t sure if Phil had gone to see her. It wouldn’t be out of character for him, but she knew how hard seeing Skye would be for him **,** knowing he can’t embrace her. 

 

Guilt twitched in her gut. This was probably why he’d been avoiding her too. It was her fault he couldn’t have the reunion he so desperately wanted with their daughter.  Maybe all of this was for the best; that was her current motto anyway.

 

She’d tossed and turned in her hotel bed for only about fifteen minutes before she got up. If she wasn’t asleep within ten minutes of laying down, she wasn’t going to sleep. First, she went to the gym. She knew it was in vain, but still she hoped that going a few rounds with a punching bag would tire her out. After an hour with the punching bag, she gave up. She hopped into the shower and then headed toward the bus. She’s been in the cockpit ever since, just sitting in the dark and taking advantage of the quiet.

 

When Daisy was a baby, May used to imagine teaching her how to fly. She briefly toyed with the idea of staying with S.H.I.E.L.D - if that was possible after all the rules she broke - and if she did stay, she could imagine her little girl playing on the floor of the cockpit while May flew. She wanted to be someone of which her daughter could be proud. Instead, she was cold and bitter and too afraid to admit the truth to her own child.

 

Her thoughts were interrupted by the cockpit door opening. She didn’t have to turn around to know that it was Phil. He didn’t say anything as he moved to sit in the chair next to her.

 

“Are you okay?” he asked quietly.

 

She shrugged.

 

“Could be better, could be worse. What about you?” She spared him a glance **,** he was staring straight ahead.

 

“I feel like I’m in some kind of weird dream,” he answered honestly. “And I can’t seem to wake up. I have seen Skye, but I’m too afraid to face her. She’s smart and observant. She will pick up on my mood.”

 

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. She eyed him out of the corner of her eye. He looked so...defeated. It was a look she hadn’t really seen on him before. She wanted to say something, anything, other than sorry. Sorry seemed to fall short, but there was nothing else she could say. The only thing that would help was their daughter and that wasn’t something that was going to happen.

 

Phil didn’t reply or acknowledge her apology. Instead, he continued to face forward and let silence surround them.

 

He broke the silence a few minutes later.

 

“We have a new assignment.”

 

“What is it?”

 

“I don’t know the all the details. Agent Weaver will be briefing the entire team fully tomorrow. What I do know is that Sci-Tech has had several problems with multiple students in the top five percentile . They are creating various pieces of equipment and such. That isn’t the problem. The problem is that the designs have classified tech in them. Now, a student is missing.”

 

“How are these students getting the classified tech?” Melinda questioned.

 

“Agent Weaver doesn’t know. That is one of the things she was hoping we could help with. She is going to give FitzSimmons all of the tech information in hope that they might be able to track it.”

 

“Are there any connections between the implicated students? Design wise or personal?”

 

“Possibly, but if there are, the students aren’t saying. Agent Weaver tried to bring in some uninvolved students and show them some of the specs, but if they noticed a connection, then they didn’t say either. I knew there was a code of loyalty among students, but I never thought that it would be more important than the life of a fellow student.” Phil sighed and shook his head.

 

“Hopefully we can figure this out. I’m sure if there is a connection, FitzSimmons will figure it out; if Fitz is up to it.”

 

“Simmons gave both him and Skye the all clear. They’re good to go.”

 

May noticed Phil tapping his fingers together. It was something he did when he was nervous about something.  

 

“What are you not saying?” she asked.

 

“Victoria told me that Skye is going to be key to this operation.”

 

“Excuse me?” May snapped. “Has she lost her mind? Skye isn’t even a S.H.I.E.L.D agent!”

 

“And in this case, that works for us. She’s young, young enough to be in Sci-Tech, and she is smart.”

“She also has to have at least one PhD **,** ” she pointed out.

 

“Agent Weaver will be taking care of that.” Phil shifted to face her. “I don’t like it either...but we don’t really have a choice. But, Skye is smart and she will be protected. And if anything happens, Agent Weaver will be there and we will be close.”

 

“Wait, we will be close? What does that mean?”

 

Phil gave a guilty look.

 

“In order for this operation to work, no one can know Skye is undercover and it would be too suspicious if she showed up one day and then we showed up the next.”

 

May stood up and began pacing the cockpit - something she rarely did. She didn’t like this at all. It was hard enough to keep herself in check when Skye was safe in a hotel. She couldn’t imagine what it was going to be like when Skye was who knows how far away **,** in dangerous waters.

 

“No,” Melinda said firmly. “I won’t allow it. She isn’t trained. It’s too dangerous.”

 

Phil stood up and approached her cautiously.

 

“I agree Mel, but what can we do to stop it? A student is missing and Skye is our best hope at finding this student before something even worse happens.”

 

Melinda stopped and whirled to face him.

 

“But we just got her back.” She snapped.

 

Phil’s face fell and he looked at her sadly.

 

“But we didn’t...not really. Because of something we decided on, she doesn’t know who we are to her, and we can’t act any differently around her. You never showed her much concern before...you can’t start now.”

 

That hurt more than a punch in the gut. Melinda sucked in a breath of air and took a shaky step back.She opened her mouth to say something but snapped it shut. There was nothing she could say. She was acting like a terrified mother but Phil was right. Because of the decision they made, she had no right to. Melinda pressed her back against the wall and slumped down. All the fight that was coursing through her veins a minute ago, dissipated quickly and the exhaustion from her sleepless nights hit her hard.

 

“I need to take care of somethings before the briefing,” Phil said gently. “Try and take a nap. You look exhausted.”

 

Melinda nodded, but remained seated for several more minutes. It wasn’t until her eyes began to drop before she finally stood up and headed for her bunk. Luckily, she’d already packed the few essentials in her hotel room and brought them back to the bus. Once she was in her bunk, she set her alarm and quickly fell asleep.

 

…

 

“Are you ready?”

 

May looked up from where she was sitting on her bed to the doorway where Coulson was standing. Was she ready? That was a laughable question. No, she was not ready and she would never be ready, but here she was, about to face her daughter for the first time since she discovered the truth.

 

She didn’t get much of a nap, she knew dark circles had appeared under her eyes, but she did get enough rest to be functional. She took one more deep breath, stood up, and nodded. As they walked toward the stairs that would lead them to the lab, Melinda slipped on the mask she had become accustomed to wearing over the past few years.

 

She could hear the rest of the team as soon as they were at the top of the stairwell. May couldn’t make out what they were saying, but there was a lot of laughter. When they reached the bottom of the stairs, she saw them all.

 

Skye was sitting on one of the tables while Simmons checked her blood pressure. Fitz was at his work station facing the others and Ward was standing close to Skye - a little too close **,** but she wasn’t going to say anything. She didn’t really have the right and it would raise suspicion if she did.

 

Coulson cleared his throat, drawing the attention of the rest of the team. Melinda hovered by the lab entrance while Coulson moved closer to the team.

 

“Welcome back everyone,” Coulson began. “I hope everyone is good.” Coulson stated it more as a question and looked at Simmons for confirmation

 

“Everyone is well sir,” Simmons answered. “I was just finishing Skye and Fitz’s check ups. Just in case there was any field work for this mission.”

 

“Good thinking Simmons. There is actually going to be some field work. For Skye.”

 

Skye, who had started to play on her phone, finally turned her attention to Coulson.

 

“What?” Skye and Ward asked in unison.

 

“We’ve been contacted by Agent Weaver,  the Director of Sci-Tech, one of the S.H.I.E.L.D academies. Several of the students in the top percentile have been caught creating various blueprints, designs **,** and programs that they shouldn’t. Now, one of them is missing. She’s attempted to get information from some of the higher level students, but no one is talking.”

 

“Code of loyalty,” FitzSimmons added. Coulson nodded.

 

“Okay,” Skye said slowly as she contemplated what Coulson was saying. “And how do I fit in?”

 

“You’re going to go in undercover. You will pose as a student and see if you can get answers.”

 

It was Skye’s laugh that drew May’s gaze from the floor to her.

 

“Something funny?” Coulson asked.

 

“Not really,” Skye shrugged. “I just think it’s kind of ironic that I haven’t ever set foot in a High School and now I’m going to be posing as a student in a S.H.I.E.L.D Academy.” Skye’s tone was teasing, but Melinda could see several different emotions flash through her eyes. It was only a second before they were gone, but it was long enough for May. Apprehension, uncertainty, fear, and something May never thought she’d see Skye display. Self-doubt.

 

In that one second of unsure emotions, May could tell. Skye walked with confidence and talked a big game, but she did not have a very high opinion of herself. _Why would she?_ Melinda thought. She didn’t have anyone in her life growing up that told her the things she should have heard.  

 

_You can do anything you set your mind to._

 

_Only you can stop you._

 

_Other people’s opinions don’t matter._

 

_You are strong, you are smart, you are important, and don’t ever let anyone tell you different._

 

May wanted to cry, but she wasn’t going to.Instead, she was just going to hope that one day Skye would see and believe just how amazing she was.

 

Coulson stepped closer to Skye and placed a comforting hand on her own, which was resting on the table next to her. Before Coulson could verbally reassure her, Skye did something that shocked May and made the air around the group tense. She moved her hand out from under his, slipped off the table **,** and moved to stand on the other side of Ward.

 

Things were silent for a moment as everyone shuffled awkwardly and cleared their throats. Skye didn’t say anything, but she was looking at Coulson with a look of betrayal and anger.

 

_Coulson was right_ , May thought. Skye definitely noticed his behavior towards her. The pilot felt her stomach twitch with guilt. This was her fault.

 

May narrowed her eyes slightly, not out of hostility but more out of curiosity, when Ward shifted closer to Skye and wrapped his arm around her waist in a protective manner.

 

“So, um, I’m assuming I’m the only one who can do this right?” Skye said after a few more minutes of tense silence.

 

Coulson stared at Skye for a moment. His eyes were glassy and his face was pale. He cleared his throat.

 

“Um, yes. FitzSimmons are well known at Sci-Tech and Ward is a well known agent from Operations. And of course May and I…” he trailed off. “You’re young and smart. You’ll fit in easily.”

 

“Why undercover?” Ward asked. “Why don’t we just go in and investigate? I’m sure the kids will start talking if they think they’ll be kicked out of Sci-Tech or be assigned to the worse possible place after graduation.” May noticed Ward flex his fingers against Skye’s hip. It seemed he wasn’t too fond of the idea of Skye going in undercover either.

 

“I’m not sure,” Coulson said after a moment. “It was made clear to me that no one can know that

Skye is undercover. The rest of the team isn’t even going to go to Sci-Tech.”

 

Before Coulson could continue, a call appeared on the big screen. “That would be Agent Weaver **,** ” Coulson explained before he took the tablet Simmons was offering him and answered the call. Agent Weaver’s stressed face appeared on the screen.

 

“Agent Weaver,” Coulson greeted.

 

“Agent Coulson **,** it’s good to see you. I just wish it were under better circumstances.” Agent Weaver said the last part regretfully. “As you can imagine, this situation is quickly getting out of hand and it’s very time sensitive.”

 

“We know about the students and what they’ve been creating. Have you had any luck with the students?” Coulson asked.

 

May kept her focus on the screen, but she could see Ward and Skye whispering amongst themselves. She felt a surge of an emotion that was foreign to her. It took her a moment to put her finger on it, but then it dawned on her. _Jealousy_. Melinda May was jealous of Grant Ward and the relationship he was building with her daughter.

 

_Well **,** shit._

 

“Do you think it’s a student behind all of this?”

 

Coulson’s question pulled her out of her thoughts.

 

“Unfortunately, I think it’s a bit more complex than that.” Agent Weaver took a deep breath. “I think one of the professors here is behind this. This is why Skye will be undercover. If it is a professor and word gets around…”

 

“The professor will take off **,** ” Coulson finished.

 

Agent Weaver nodded.

 

“Kelly Foster is the student who is missing. The plan is for Skye to be placed in the exact same classes as she is enrolled in. We don’t know what professor it is, but it has to be one of hers,” Agent Weaver explained.

 

“Do the students involve all share a teacher?” May asked.

 

“Unfortunately not. It is possible that some of the students were recruited by other students.”

 

“So how do you know it’s one of Kelly’s professor?” May did not like this at all. Coulson turned and gave her a look. She ignored it.

 

“Because Kelly went missing. I know it’s not a lot to go on…”

 

“It’s nothing to go on **,** ” May deadpanned.

 

“What Agent May is trying to say,” Coulson quickly stepped in.“Is that Skye isn’t a S.H.I.E.L.D agent and has never been the key in an undercover mission before.” May and Coulson both looked at Skye. Her face was void of any emotions.

 

“I understand and I know it’s a lot to ask, considering Skye is already in protective custody, but-”

 

“I’ll do it **,** ” Skye interrupted. She stepped forward. “Sorry, I hate when people talk about talk about me like I don’t exist.” There was a bit of a waver in her voice when she said that. She glanced at Coulson momentarily before turning her attention to Agent Weaver. “And at the end of the day, it’s kind of my decision **,** isn’t it? So I’ll do it **,** ” she finished.

 

Relief filled Agent Weaver’s face.

 

“Thank you Skye,” she said. “I’ll see you all soon. Coulson I am sending the coordinates to the place where the bus will land to your phone. I will meet you all at the bus and then accompany Skye to Sci-Tech.”

 

Coulson nodded.

 

“See you soon Agent Weaver.” With that, he disconnected the call before turning his attention to Skye.  “Are you sure you want to do this Skye? It could be da-”

 

“Yes **,** ” Skye cut him off. Coulson gave her a small smile - one that she didn’t return.

 

“You know, this will benefit you greatly when you become a S.H.I.E.L.D agent. Especially if-”

 

Before Coulson could finish, Skye walked out of the lab. Coulson’s face held hurt and regret. He stared at where Skye had just been. Melinda could tell he wanted to go after her **.** She felt the need to stop him, even though he hadn’t moved, but she knew it wasn’t her place.

 

FitzSimmons shifted closer to each other and  kept their eyes focused on the floor. Ward was also glaring at where Skye had been but his face held more agitation then anything. May remained passive, but inside she was screaming.

 

It was becoming very clear to Melinda that she might not have fully thought out this whole idea. She was quick to say **,** “Skye can’t know **,** ” but she didn’t really think about how much this would truly affect her, and Coulson, not to mention the rest of the team as well.

 

Melinda knew it was selfish to expect Coulson and Simmons to keep her secret and she was prepared to deal with that guilt. The guilt she wasn’t prepared to deal with was what was currently hitting her.

 

This team had become like a family. A family was something Skye had never had. And now, because of  May’s decision, she might have caused Skye to consider doing what she does when she’s scared. _Run._

 

If Skye did run, Melinda wasn’t sure what she would do, but she knew losing Skye could very well be the end of this team.

 

That left Melinda with one very important question. Could she sit back and allow that to happen?

 

…

 

When Skye was younger, she blamed herself everytime she was sent back to the orphanage from a foster home. She was young and coupled with the stares she received from everyone when she returned and the whispers she heard when she was hiding in the shadows, it was no wonder that she did.

 

_“It’s not you, it’s us,”_ turned into “ _Kicked out of another home **,** Mary Sue? What are we going to do with you?”_

 

_“We want to keep you, but we can’t”_ turned into _“Another family that didn’t want to deal with a problem child.”_

 

_“You’ll find the family you are meant to have one day **,** sweetheart” _ turned into _“At this rate, you will never be adopted Mary.”_

 

One thing Skye took pride in was that despite her upbringing, she was still here. She tried to commit suicide and failed and she took that as a sign. And now, here she was, 18-years-old and _alive_. The abusers from her past did not beat her. They did not win.

 

Oddly enough, Skye had found a home amongst the team of S.H.I.E.L.D agents. When she first came into contact with Coulson and his team, she had no idea how it would turn out, but she was not expecting this. It was months later and she still couldn’t believe it.

 

There was the strict, uptight, rude Agent Grant Ward.  Their first meeting was not ideal. He broke into the hotel room where she was trying to blackmail that douchebag, Vincent. When he barged in, Vincent ran into the bedroom to hide, like a coward, and Ward turned his sights on her. He moved toward her threateningly, but she didn’t back down. When he tried to arrest her, she fought him. She will never forget the look on his face when she first punched him. If someone would have told her that in a few months **’** time, she’d be not only the closest to Grant but also involved in a romantic relationship with him, she would have laughed. But now, here she was. Grant made her feel safe and warm.

 

Simmons was possibly the first true female friend Skye had ever had. Skye spoke her mind, stood up for what she believed in, and constantly bent and broke the rules. Simmons was a quiet person, very proper, and was a fan of the rules. The two couldn’t be more different, but oddly enough, it worked for them. Simmons was serious, but Skye soon found out that she was really funny. Skye couldn’t imagine her life without the scientist. Simmons made her feel normal and confident.

 

Fitz was someone who she was friendly with, but never really sought out. But the whole ordeal in the lab changed their relationship in a big way; nearly dying with someone will do that. During their recovery, they leaned heavily on each other. There were times where Simmons had to run tests  and Ward had to take care of S.H.I.E.L.D stuff **,** which would leave just the two of them. That was when they would just talk about anything and everything. Skye would give Fitz advice on how to approach Simmons about his feelings and Fitz would make her laugh and forget the crap mess that they were both in. Fitz made her feel strong and carefree.

 

Coulson… When Skye first met Coulson, she felt this instant connection with him. She hadn’t told him that, but that didn’t make it any less true. He was so calm and gentle in the face of her blatant immaturity. He lifted her up at a time when she was down. He had this ability to encourage her. He made her want to reach her full potential. She had never met someone in her life who did that for her. He talked to her like she was a person, not a waste of space. Coulson...he made Skye feel real. He made her feel important. When she woke up, she felt like she had a purpose which made it easier to to get up and face the day.

 

This team...her team...they made her happy. And that is what upset her the most because once again, things were beginning to unravel. Something changed between her and Coulson and she didn’t know what.  He had completely avoided her, barely looked at her, and didn’t visit her once during her recovery. She was hurt and her hurt quickly turned to anger. He snapped at her, before the lab incident when he was explaining that he and May were going on a mission without the team. She figured he was just having a bad day, but then everything else happened and he put distance between them.

 

She’d been driving herself crazy trying to figure out what she did. The more she thought about it, the more she realized and accepted that she didn’t do anything. And, on the off chance that she did, Coulson should have at least come and talk to her **,** instead of acting like a child and giving her the cold shoulder.

 

Skye was tired. She was tired of this whole hot and cold game that people liked to play with her. She thought Coulson was different, but with the way he had been acting, she was obviously wrong. If there was one thing that she learned from her childhood, it was ‘Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me’. Skye had been fooled once by him. She wouldn’t be fooled twice.

 

When she heard a knock on her bunk door, she thought it was Grant. When she slid it open to reveal Coulson, her face fell. She looked at him for a moment before turning back to resume her packing. She could hear Coulson clear his throat and shift in the doorway.

 

“I wanted to check on you,” he finally said. _A week too late,_ she thought. “This op is a big deal, and very dangerous, so-”

 

“I know **,** Coulson,” she interrupted. “I’m not stupid. I understand the risks perfectly. I grew up in some rough homes and lived on the streets. I can handle myself.” Her back was to him **,** so she missed him wince when she said she grew up in abusive homes.

 

Coulson was quiet for a moment and Skye thought he might have left, but then she felt his hand on her shoulder. She jerked away from instinctively and moved as far away from him as possible before she could stop herself. Coulson’s hand dropped and he looked at her with a mixture grief and hurt on his face.

 

“Sorry, habit **,** ” she muttered. She eyed him warily before she stepped close to her bed and grabbed the stack of folded clothes and placed them in her suitcase.

 

“No, I’m  sorry...I didn’t think, I-” he broke off, unsure of what to say. “Skye-”

 

“Can we not? Please?” Coulson opened his mouth to reply, but Skye continued before he could. “I thought I could trust you. I thought you would be someone who wouldn’t hurt me, but you did. I almost died, so did Fitz, and you didn’t come check on us once. I get it, you were too busy.” She did air quotes when she said ‘busy’. “I just thought this team meant something to you.”

 

“This team does!” he quickly argued. “I care about this team. I care about you.” He said the last part a little quieter.

 

“Do me a favor **,** Coulson- quit lying. It’s fine if you don’t care. You have no reason to. I’m just here for protection and to help on occasion, that’s it. I know my place.”

 

“Skye...I’m sorry for not visiting. I just...I had a lot and-”

 

“I really don’t want your excuses. I deserve better than that.” She wiped a stray tear away as discreetly as possible. “I’ll play my part. I will help out and when it’s safe for me to leave, I will.” She shut her suitcase and zipped it up.

 

“I thought...I thought you wanted to be a S.H.I.E.L.D agent?”

 

Before she could reply, there was another knock at her door. It was Grant. _Finally._

 

“Hey, are you ready to go?” He eyed Coulson before looking at her with concern.

 

“Go?” Coulson asked.

 

“Workout. Strengthening my muscles as a part of my recovery **,** ” she answered. “And yes, I am.” She moved past Coulson. When she was in the doorway, she turned back to him. “And I did want to be a S.H.I.E.L.D agent...but now I don’t....thanks to you.” The last part was said more tiredly then anything. She spun around and left the bunk without another word, leaving Coulson hurt and defeated.

 

As she walked toward the staircase, she ignored the guilt that twisted in her gut. She could feel herself slipping into self-preservation mode and at this point, she didn’t think she could stop it. She felt Grant take her hand in his. When she looked at him, he squeezed her hand reassuringly. She gave him a grateful smile.

 

Before they reached the door to the stairwell that led them to the cargo bay, he motioned for her to head to the second stairwell, the one that led them to the lab. She looked at him questioningly before heading in that direction. She didn’t understand why he wanted to go that way until they were in the stairwell with the door shut behind them.

 

Grant had her pressed against the wall, hands in her hair, and his lips on hers when it clicked. This stairwell had much more privacy. The kiss was gentle and loving, unlike their usual heated and passionate kisses. This kiss was more for comfort, something that Skye definitely needed.

 

She fisted her hands in his shirt and pulled him as close as possible. He moved one of his hands from her hair to around her waist. The couple kissed until they were breathless.

 

“Will you be my girlfriend?” Grant whispered against Skye’s lips **,** causing Skye to laugh.

 

“I thought I already was?” she answered. Grant rubbed his nose against hers before resting his forehead against hers and moving both of his hands to rest on her hips.

 

“You were...are, but I don’t think I’ve officially asked you. This me, officially asking you.” He smiled cheekily.

 

“You are the biggest dork, but yes, I will be your girlfriend.” She leaned up and kissed him softly.

 

“Good, because I’m actually a very jealous person.”

 

“I would have never guessed,” she teased. They walked down the stairwell hand in hand and only broke apart when they entered the lab. Simmons gave them a knowing look. Skye just shrugged and smiled.

 

“I’m going to set up the training mats. I hope you’re ready, Rookie.” Grant kissed her cheek before heading to the cargo bay.

 

“I’m never ready for physical exertion,” she muttered to herself.

 

“So **,** you and Ward finally?” Simmons asked as she appeared next to Skye.

 

Skye scoffed.

 

“Finally?” She quirked an eyebrow at the scientist. Jemma rolled her eyes.

 

“You have to admit that for a while, you two had this weird romance movie drama going on. Making out in the kitchen and then ignoring each other **;** only to have a heated reunion.”

 

“Yeah, yeah **,** ” Skye waved off.

 

Simmons just smirked.

 

“On a more serious note, I need to talk to you.”

 

“Uh oh.”

 

“With everything that has happened in the past few months, the hijacking of the bus, Nystrom and his followers, and the lab incident among other thing, I think it would be beneficial for you to speak to someone…” Simmons trailed off when Skye looked at her with narrowed eyes.

 

“You want me to talk to a shrink?” she asked slowly.

 

“Yes?” It sounded more like a question than a statement. Simmons cleared her throat. “I mean, I highly suggest it **,** ” she stated more firmly.

 

Skye laughed, taking Simmons by surprise.

 

“Thanks but no thanks. I grew up in the system **,** so I’ve been through enough shrinks to know that I hate them. Not one of them actually had my best interest in mind.”

 

“I made the same recommendation to Fitz and-”

 

“I’m not Fitz,” Skye snapped. She felt guilty when hurt flashed through Jemma’s eyes. “Sorry. I know you’re trying to help, but really, I’m fine. I’ve been through worse and I’ve survived. You don’t need to worry about me.”

 

“Hey, you ready?” Grant asked as he joined the two women.

 

“As I will ever be,” she replied. She gave Simmons a smile before walking to the cargo bay with Grant. She completely missed the look of worry that Simmons gave her.

 

It was true that Skye had been through a lot and that she was okay. She did have a one hundred percent track record of surviving after all, but what Skye didn’t realize was that she was currently standing on the edge of a cliff and the events of the undercover op would be the thing that would push her over completely.

  
Her breakdown was inevitable and it was only a matter of time before she spiraled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter. I want to give a tremendous thanks to Daisy and Peter for all their help with editing and being there for me to bounce ideas off of. It is not easy to edit chapters that are this long. They’re both truly saints.
> 
> On a different note, you guys are amazing. I really appreciate you all taking the time to read and review this story. I read each and every review and I try to reply to everyone too. Unfortunately, fanfiction does not allow replies to guest reviews, but I do read and appreciate those as well.
> 
> Unfortunately, writing is hard. Writer’s block can be a very powerful thing and I suffer from it often. Not to mention, I work 50 hours a week, I’m preparing to go back to school (to be certified as a teacher), and I am also trying to find a job as a teacher. I promise I try to update as soon as possible.
> 
> I am never opposed to posting sneak peeks. I start chapters relatively soon after I post one, so there is always something I can post. Don’t hesitate to ask.
> 
> You can find me on Tumblr at the same username. You can follow me or if you don’t have an account, I do allow anonymous messages so if you’d like a sneak peek, just go there :).
> 
> Also! I have a new obsession! Skye as Tony Stark’s daughter, so if you have any good fanfictions, send them to me!


	12. Important Author's Note

I know it has been a while and I cannot tell you how much I appreciate how patient you all have been. If you follow me on Tumblr, you probably already know this, but for those of you who don’t, I will explain. I’ve been struggling with depression since I was 11. I tried to fight it, but recently things seem to have gotten worse. And then, at the end of August, my grandfather died and it crushed me. The last thing I could do was concentrate on writing. I knew if I tried to force out a chapter, I would have given it up all together. So, I did the sensible thing and I put the story on hiatus.

I sought out help after my grandfather died. I’m in therapy and I am now on anti-depression and anti-anxiety medicine. My life has completely turned around. I’m happy. It’s easier to get out of bed. My days are not filled with self-loathing anymore. I never thought I would get to a point in my life where it didn’t hurt to breathe, but here I am.

I have been thinking about writing again for a few weeks, but the problems I was facing was 1) my job and school schedule have been hectic and I didn’t have much time to work on writing and 2) I am not – and have not – been happy with where this story has gone. My schedule has cleared up so I have more free time, but I still do not like where this story has ended up. Constantly I feel backed up in a corner and face very few options with this story which is the main reason why this story wasn’t updated from December 2015 – June 2016.

I’ve been waiting until I was 100 percent sure to write this note and now that I am, I wanted to let you all know that I will be re-writing Broken Lullaby. I am posting this note for those of you who would like a copy of the original. On Archive of Our Own, it allows you to download stories. For those of you who read this story on Fanfiction, you’ll have to contact me for the chapters.

Chapter one of the re-write is already underway and will be posted soon so I will be giving you guys a few days to get this story.

I’m excited about this re-write and I hope you all will be too. It will follow the same idea – Coulson and May losing their daughter and unknowingly being reunited years later – but it will be more my own – rather than pulling stuff from the show like I had done with the original.

Please be patient and positive. I’m sorry if this upsets any of you, but I need to do this.

 


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